I want to know, what the hell is "pansexual?"
Exceedingly gay niggas that will fuck anything that walks.
the mechanic one is the only who could maaayyyyybeeee? fit with the OG saints? how they are going to fuck her over?
My guess is that in later missions they will
heavily lean into the fact that she is a brave, strong independent Spanish woman who's into manly things like cars, but the chuds at the Panteros treat her wrong or try to sexually assault her or some shit like that. They'll make her spout out random phrases in Spanish every other minute just in case you forgot she's Latina,
they more or less confirmed it.
"He felt seen and heard"
...Oh boy. Even the character bios can't leave out the fucking Redditor therapy-speak.
This fucking thing is going to be a real doozy. Seriously, you can tell that this was written by some fucking dangerhair with a nose ring simply because of that. Projecting their own weak-minded bullshit onto their characters.
Did we ever get an in-depth psychoanalysis of Johnny Gat? No? Why not? Because he was an interesting character on his own and we didn't need to know that he grew up feeling unappreciated? I'm surprised they didn't mention that through frequent cognitive behavioral talk therapy that Kevin learned his previous gang were narcissistic and they were gaslighting him and it wasn't a good match because he's 'such an empath'.
What the fuck ever happened to 'show, don't tell' anyway? If you desire to make a character like this, perhaps that character's development should be shown in gameplay or even cutscenes, or the development could at least take place in-game.
This shit really does read like if you shoved Reddit into a blender and let an AI pick out backstory parameters and fill them with Reddit-speak.
If you think Kevin's backstory is bad, wait till you see Eli's and Neenah's.
Amazing. Just fucking amazing. Let's start with Eli's bio. I love how he's an immigrant African as well, it's almost as Volition also thinks it's too unrealistic for a home-bred nigger to be able to succeed in the US, so they had to make him an immigrant as well. Otherwise, his bio is just sad. They wrote all these words just to say he likes investing money. How many words did they have to write to say Johnny Gat liked killing? None. Because as you said, they showed, and didn't tell. I love how despite all these mentions of investing, there's not a single mention of cryptocurrency or NFTs, although I'm sure Volition is saving that for a line where Eli goes on about how the pollution created by the blockchain or some shit outweighs the profits he could be making. I also love how "unironically loving country music" is a notable trait, it's almost as if the dangerhair who's running the website is seething as they think country music is for blue collar chuds who voted the Orange Man. Neenah's backstory is just as laughable. You can tell her backstory was written by some BPD art hoe with severe daddy issues projecting her insecurities onto the screen. "Yes! Take that daddy! Her daddy was wrong about her art career, just as you were!", she says to herself, tears dripping from her eyes onto her desk, coping with the fact that all she has to show from her useless degree is a barely above minimum wage job at a dying AAA game studio writing for a game that will be ignored by many and loathed by the few who even care.
The only backstory I even remember getting from the original Saints Row games was that Julius and Benjamin King were supposed to be friends who formed the Vice Kings to fight off the Carnales, and that was because it was supposed to set up a prequel that never happened due to an animation error. And even then, that's a far more cohesive and realistic story than any of the word vomit bios you can read on the Saints Row website.
I will never not find it hilarious how hard Volition missed the mark. There's a serious vacuum in the gaming sphere right now for a semi-serious open world crime game with solid game play and they didn't follow through with it because they wanted to make a millennial power fantasy. Said fantasy entails fun activities like moping around your apartment toasting your lonely waffles and having your pansexual demikin Asian friend make you stir fry.
Rather than have selfish and hedonistic desires to run the underground your friends want to... start a podcast.
Absolutely out of fucking touch and hilariously retarded.
The saddest part is that I know of at least one way they could've used the delay time they got to save this game and make SOMETHING that could sort of sell. My idea is this: ditch the entirety of the single player. All of it. Make the game an online-only experience, but not exactly like GTA Online. Make it more like the servers on FiveM, and have the game be about just joining different servers and doing minigames and other classic Saints Row activities like Cops and Robbers, Mayhem, Insurance Fraud, Demolition Derby, Genki's Super Ethical Climax, even some roleplaying shit, whatever. Encourage customizability and mods as well, give some basic tools to allow modifying some aspects of the game modes, maybe even allow being able to make some game modes of your own. It may not be a perfect game, sure the map may not be the best and neither would the tired gunplay, but you could see a good amount of people flocking towards it, especially with some decent advertising. If you use dedicated servers and not P2P, I could see streamers flocking to the game in droves, especially since GTA Online is more or less unstreamable due to the piss poor security, and in turn convince others to actually give the game a shot. Will the game do GTA numbers? Absolutely not, although it's not like it really had a chance to. Despite this, I could see the game doing well, maybe even well enough to bring Volition back to where they were just a couple console generations ago.
Of course, the the staff of Volition are literal morons as are whoever is supervising them at Deep Silver. I fail to understand how anyone from Deep Silver saw this game and didn't stop them from wasting even more of their money. I mean sure, games are pretty woke these days but they at least tried to sort of hide this with boring AAA normie shit. Far Cry 6 was a game that's just as, if not more woke than this game, but you wouldn't really be able to tell from the marketing. All a normie would see is "Wow, a new Far Cry game, I heard of Far Cry once, and it's got Gus Fring from the hit shows Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul! The game also has all the cool trends like graphics and an open world! That is cool, maybe I will give it a shot!" Outside of indie games and I guess Life is Strange, I have never seen a game rely so much on wokeness to push it. It's baffling.
