The Ralpha Ranch - Ethan Ralph is A Broke Ass Bitch and His Bitch Ass Fans Will NEVER Form a Ranch

The fact that this moron can brag about making $250k over the past decade will never stop being hilarious to me. Congratulations, your annual “salary” is half as much as a gas station attendant in NJ but you had to ruin your life for it and didn’t even get health insurance.

Then he shamelessly begs for donos so he can take his mare out for a bucket of oats. What a sterling success story!
It’s amusing that he moves to the much cheaper third world and still cannot afford to own a crack shack. Ralph life is a series of ever more terrible rental units until he either ends up at Ronnie’s boarded up corpse-sofa patty melt home or a men’s shelter.
Andy and Asston are more likely to build a literal Kino Casino in Atlantic City before Ralph gets a Ralpharanch. Hell, Gator is more likely to get a ranch before Ralph does.

Any money he does grift will go straight into bathtub tequila served in a Maker's Mark bottle, he scares way too easily to put together something this big.
He’s also too stupid, friendless and drunk to pull it off. Daily begging to get the money for base needs is as good as it gets for Ralph.
 
The fact that this moron can brag about making $250k over the past decade will never stop being hilarious to me. Congratulations, your annual “salary” is half as much as a gas station attendant in NJ but you had to ruin your life for it and didn’t even get health insurance.

Then he shamelessly begs for donos so he can take his mare out for a bucket of oats. What a sterling success story!
Over a decade? I make more as a factory worker
 
Wait why is he saying "we"?

Does he mean he'll buy a big plot of land and the killstream faithful can migrate and live there?

Perhaps he's realised that to avoid being sacrificed to the corn, he must grow the corn himself.
He's thinking they'll buy in together and create a very American Mexican Communist Compound.
Ralph would fit in with the Mexicans if he wore a Stalin mustache.
 
Over a decade? I make more as a factory worker
No shit. This is the same guy who thought a chicken salad sandwich on a paper plate was a flex and also thinks his TJ Maxx wardrobe is a flex. He’s such a complete pov that he has no reference points for how non-trash lives.
 
I don't even own a ranch. I would be so owned if he bought a compound and moved a bunch of people down there to live with him. God I hope he doesn't do this, this would be humiliating to not only me, but more importantly Joshua Connor Moon, who does not have any kind of ranch or compound.

Just to clarify, many a-logs, Including Joshua Connor Moon, would be especially owned if Ethan Ralph bought a ranch in Mexico. He DEFINITELY should not do this.
I will also once again be very owned if he does this. I bet to super own us he will start up a mom-and-pop type narcotics business to give the cartels a little friendly, local competition. Imagine how many more five star days he will have with all that extra cash. This would utterly humiliate me and (kid diddler) Joshua Conner Moon.
 
No shit. This is the same guy who thought a chicken salad sandwich on a paper plate was a flex and also thinks his TJ Maxx wardrobe is a flex. He’s such a complete pov that he has no reference points for how non-trash lives.
Ralph, if you’re out there, you can get a big W against your fagfic farms enemies by live-streaming your first trip to Whole Foods
 
Wait why is he saying "we"?

Does he mean he'll buy a big plot of land and the killstream faithful can migrate and live there?
No. Do a search on this site for Beartaria or skim the past two years of the Owen Benjamin thread. Ralph is a delusional moron and wet brain alcoholic.
 
he turned it up to half a million already so now he makes as much as a school teacher in the ghetto
If I don’t feel like signing up for voluntary overtime, it’d be about $40k/year. Working a bunch of Saturdays would put me at ghetto teacher.

On one hand, what I make is guaranteed to steadily increase. On the other hand, I can go to a foreign country with the absolute certainty that nobody there has ever seen me stick my thumb up a girls’ ass and sniff it. But then again, I don’t have any student debt.

Fine, Ralph, I will take my L
 
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Ralph is probably going to skip the whole alpaca thing and go straight to planting weed. Wait who am I kidding? Ralph is too broke to go to California or Colorado and start growing weed to sell.

Ethan Ralph is too broke to grow and sell weed in Mexico let alone the US.
 
Ralph's Feed & Seed (Formerly Tranch)
guntimal farm.png
 
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