Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Pat tried to do one of those "who's your favorite _____" tweets that gets engagement but he had to be a dick by saying he didn't like one of the choices so it failed. I like that his internet persona is "complete asshole".

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Not only is he an ass, but everyone knows David Tennant blew it out of the water.

He even gave it a name: Susan.

His third, best wife.

 

[Johnny Salami]

Harry Potter and the Lack of Testosterone
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Bitchtits
Harry Potter and the Prison-Enjoyer of Wisconsin
Harry Potter and the Gobbler of Pepperoni
Harry Potter and the Order to-cease-contacting-this-number
Harry Potter and the Half Man Pig
Harry Potter and Darkys' Fart-Ho

Also I uh.....took a look at the feed of fat just now and he....seems to be bothered by something
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Pat will be the basis for a character about the dystopia that we lived in the 21th century

Save the reveal to the next morning so that when he awakes with a very fat head, he will be forced to “correct the record” while still drunk, confused and suffering.

Pat would never correct the record. Like that time Gen Fat told Ukrainians to have fun

He probably thinks having a high twitter follower count is like having a high YouTube follower count.

Before Musk a high Twitter follower count meant nothing, but he could monetize his tweets of he had more engagement

it is buried in that wall of tweets but this quote is good:

pat himself says his lawsuits were just a pretext to get names.
that was what quasi's attorney called out.
that was why the judge agreed with the defense.
that was why pat was ordered to pay attorney fees.

he is so unbelievably fucking stupid. he cannot understand how he caused what happened.

Pat has a natural tendency to overshare. I bet his lawyer didn't shut him up because it was a losing case and wanted it over as soon as possible.

 

[Something Awful]

Slow Pat day, so I'm looking at history. What does Patrick have to say about the Farms?



Fat.



Rotund.



For god's sake stop eating, Pat, you're about to reach critical mass and turn into a black hole that will swallow us all!



Apparently "lolcows do not exist" is actually one of his catchphrases, though somewhat rarely deployed. Even made it into random_text. I think this particular version is the funniest, though:



"The internet" doesn't recognize "lolcows"! God, Pat can be so fucking funny when he's trying to be serious and dramatic.

 

[Creative Username]

Josh being the godfather of a crime family that trades in human suffering actually sounds kind of cool, but unfortunately he's just the ooperator for the Chris-Chan inspired internet personality discussion forum.

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Slow Pat day, so I'm looking at history. What does Patrick have to say about the Farms?

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Fat.

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Rotund.

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For god's sake stop eating, Pat, you're about to reach critical mass and turn into a black hole that will swallow us all!

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Apparently "lolcows do not exist" is actually one of his catchphrases, though somewhat rarely deployed. Even made it into random_text. I think this particular version is the funniest, though:

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"The internet" doesn't recognize "lolcows"! God, Pat can be so fucking funny when he's trying to be serious and dramatic.

Holy shit thats amazing. He is in full denial of being a lolcow

 

[DumbDude43]

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pat: writing up these 100% serious posts where he tries to sound grim and hardcore
meanywhile, the people he is replying to:
>stealthyfagget
>StealthyBeak
>stealthygeev
>stealthygunk

the contrast just makes the whole situation so fucking funny. he is sitting there, seething hard, furiously typing away while daydreaming about the stalker childs going to prison, but on the other side it's just a bunch of juvenile shitposters laughing their asses off at how buttblasted he is.

 

[Divine right to rule]

Apparently "lolcows do not exist" is actually one of his catchphrases, though somewhat rarely deployed. Even made it into random_text. I think this particular version is the funniest, though:

"Pedophiles don't exist." ~Amos Yee

 

[Ultrapenguin]

Good news folks, the earning reports have come in and pain profits are really up, we had a fantastic 3rd quarter performance as a result of increased company emphasis on inventive methods of calling targets fat. Ruined lives and suicides have been steadily climbing as well. The board is really pleased.

So you guys are doing great, keep up the good work. Oh and this Thursday moderator Trombonista is going to be bringing in cake so feel free to stop by the break room if you aren't busy.

 

[AnOminous]

The fact that Fatty Patty un-ironically thinks of himself as a "firebrand" instead of an "obnoxious oinker" is one of the funniest delusions he holds.

Well he's certainly a flamer.

pat himself says his lawsuits were just a pretext to get names.
that was what quasi's attorney called out.
that was why the judge agreed with the defense.
that was why pat was ordered to pay attorney fees.

Textbook abuse of process. What a retard openly admitting to that. If he hadn't already been smacked down for the defendants' fees, he could be sued for that by itself.

 

[LGHDR+]

"Pedophiles don't exist." ~Amos Yee

Oh god, I bet that's where he got it from.

 

[Creative Username]

Good news folks, the earning reports have come in and pain profits are really up, we had a fantastic 3rd quarter performance as a result of increased company emphasis on inventive methods of calling targets fat. Ruined lives and suicides have been steadily climbing as well. The board is really pleased.

So you guys are doing great, keep up the good work. Oh and this Thursday moderator Trombonista is going to be bringing in cake so feel free to stop by the break room if you aren't busy.

I bet the shareholders are really proud of performance as of late, especially over the last two weeks. We've been refining new and more advanced forms of human suffering for our clients to enjoy, and the growth has been crazy. I have to do a presentation to the VP of my department about the obscenely square shape of LFJ's head. There are also a few new faces in every team. Even the lads in the sticker department had to upscale the processing lines for the "Winner", "Informative", and "Semper Fidelis" ratings due to the amount of volume we've been getting internally. I have a good feeling even the mods are going to get a raise.

Unrelated: What kind of cake is Trombonista bringing? I'm guessing it will be in the break room on the ground floor and not the new one on the third floor? After all, Null's been really hard at work expanding the ruined Serbian castle that we've been using as an office.

 

[TheAmbiguousLurker]

Why I think Norton has it in the bag (All taken from this Ona thread)

...So, those are not screengrabs of Marlon Wayans in White Chicks?

 

[AirdropShitposts]

My doctor said I've got to take it easier, that I've been pushing myself too hard to bring in more pain profits for Null. That I don't need to head up the kill score leaderboard every month, that there's plenty of hardworking others on the Kiwi Farms and that it's not just about myself chasing that success. I think that's easy to forget sometimes, that it's not just the pleasure of the suffering victims for ourselves, that we're really doing this to fulfill Null's vision for humanity.

 

[Mourning_Cloak]

Patrick doesn't have a Mustang: he has a Rustang.

 

[BlastMonk]

Can a fellow Kiwi stalker help me increase my kill score? We all know the points on each of our profiles is decided by how much you've contributed to a lolcow being taken out to pasture and Null gets paid the higher your score, but I feel like I could do more. With Null going back to court over Greer and paying for kiwiflare upkeep, I feel compeled to do more. Lawyers accept human suffering as payment right?

 

[DSP's Tax Lawyer]

Fatrick historians, did he ever live in Florida? This looks like he's totally full of shit

 

[Pat's Pointer Finger]

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Fatrick historians, did he ever live in Florida? This looks like he's totally full of shit

he mentions it in his infamous suicide blog - https://www.patrickstomlinson.com/2014/08/12/robin-williams-and-depression-as-a-muse/

 

[An automatic clown]

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Fatrick historians, did he ever live in Florida? This looks like he's totally full of shit

He's told a tall tail about working at a Ford dealer during that time and selling a Ford GT to some dope, 26 long tweet Thread starts here, if you can bear to get through it. He absolutely has to make mention of Orange Man on his ramblings, of course. I think he had an insurance license in FL also

Oh thanks Fat for ruining a silly band I like to enjoy for a laugh. God damn you suck.


And we get a Technicality Tomlinson, "WE didn't pay quasi" usually the royal we is a sign he's loying.

 

[LGHDR+]

Can a fellow Kiwi stalker help me increase my kill score? We all know the points on each of our profiles is decided by how much you've contributed to a lolcow being taken out to pasture and Null gets paid the higher your score, but I feel like I could do more. With Null going back to court over Greer and paying for kiwiflare upkeep, I feel compeled to do more. Lawyers accept human suffering as payment right?

Mine sure as fuck does..... But it's on top of the cash payment.

 

[RussianParasite]

Can a fellow Kiwi stalker help me increase my kill score?

Young grasshopper, in order to increase one’s KF kill count one must master the way of the nigger, the tranny, and the (fat) faggot. It is only through deep study and appreciation of these arts that human suffering is perfected.

“Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.” —Confucius