Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.4%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 196 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 789 56.8%

  • Total voters
    1,388
Call me late but the bizarro clown music at the start of Jack on the Go kills me everytime.

What really gets my goat is there was a period of time where Jack switched the music to a more normal-sounding, country instrumental. Eventually he switched it back, which means he likes retarded chipmunk music more than normal music.

It’s also well established that Jack unironically listens to children’s music and watches children’s TV shows for entertainment.

I appreciate the evolution of the intro music for Cooking with Jack over time. He went from upbeat alt rock, to like rock-country, to literal bing-bong baby music that if I'm not mistaken actually includes a sound of a toddler giggling.
 
How many more strokes can jack take until he dies or becomes a vegetable?

I suspect that he‘s been dead for a while, but is too fucking stupid and oblivious to stop eating long enough to notice. Either that or someone else is serving their time in hell by being made to live in that clown’s body as punishment; like the Violator from Spawn was.
 
I suspect that he‘s been dead for a while, but is too fucking stupid and oblivious to stop eating long enough to notice. Either that or someone else is serving their time in hell by being made to live in that clown’s body as punishment; like the Violator from Spawn was.
So there's a non-zero chance that Carnivore January Jack is in fact the spirit of Henry Kissinger, living out the suffering from a terrible diet that he evaded when he sold his soul to live to 100?
 
So there's a non-zero chance that Carnivore January Jack is in fact the spirit of Henry Kissinger, living out the suffering from a terrible diet that he evaded when he sold his soul to live to 100?

At the least, it’s more plausible than however the fuck Jack rationalizes perpetuating the burden of his continued existence. I also can’t rule out Kissinger being amongst the thousands of damned souls reincarnated as one of those crunchy farts constantly escaping Jack in the manner of those nose bubbles Mario’s depicted as having whenever he’s asleep.
 
How many more strokes can jack take until he dies or becomes a vegetable?

Well, so far we have (I might have the order wrong):

1. The one in Vegas
2. The one where he woke up in the middle of the night half numb, freaked out for 20 minutes, then went back to sleep
3. The one where he went to the hospital and went home angy because he had to wait to see a proper doctor
4. The one when he was in California and had that update video
5. The cold brew coffee one
6. The blueberry muffin one

Number 7 might be the one where God says 'Fuck it, I gave you enough warnings' and finally let him die. Kind of like a inverted Jubilee.
 
Less than 10% of people get an autopsy. Those are for when the cause of death is suspicious.

It will be obvious when Jack dies that he died of a stroke and from being a fat piece of shit.
In accordance to Jacks wishes, when he dies they'll put him in a Shake N' Bake bag and throw him in the towns oven. He'll lightly roast over a few hours until his meat is cooked fine in the legs and arms but his body is still raw just the way he likes it, they'll then inject "The Best Embalming Fluid You'll Ever Use" into his body and then bury him with a bunch of lit coals. He'll slow cook for a few months until Jack Jr, now being possessed by the Wendigo, does an unboxing video where he digs up Jacks corpse and starts eating it for Youtube.
 
The only joy jack brings us by living is laughing at his suffering and knowing despite how much a Karen he is to wagies ... His entire family is stuck with the pants pooping stroked out man baby.

He kidnapped his gay son and beard with his hog wife and moved them to Hicksville so he can bully and tantrum them as his own house niggers. Well not that because Jack's afraid of blacks.
 
She also brought him to the movie theater at least a couple of times and we all know he put down a bucket of popcorn and gallon of soda before the trailers ended.
It's even worse than that.

They get a drink caddy to carry their massive, but diet, drinks back to the theater. Take their drinks out and Hammy pours the large popcorn with butter flavored grease into the drink caddy so Jagoff can have some. Then she goes back, gets her free refill and she eats that popcorn with butter flavored grease. And then at some point probably go back to get another refill if such a thing is possible.

I mean I like popcorn as much as the next person but there's a limit as to how much I can eat, even when it's ungreased, I can only make it through half the container before I start feeling sick. So how they can both finish a bucket on their own shows how gluttonous they both are.

its because animal products make the vascular system lose its elasticity. its not a problem if you eat leafy greens like spinach regularly but if its animal products all the time your body is usually stuck in that state. your veins can no longer expand as needed which is deadly to people who already have heart and blood pressure problems.

he is literally going on a diet meant for weight loss that will put him in an at risk state constantly.
All these diets are supposed to be short term. You lose wieght. You move your ass more. You get healthier and no longer need the fad diet.

How many more strokes can jack take until he dies or becomes a vegetable?
He's already a mushbrain and it's only been getting worse as time goes on.
 
Hate to be a doomer but I think the carnivore diet is going to be a disaster. He's been teetering on the edge of total body failure for years at this point, I cant imagine his luck carrying the 300 pounds of dead weight he calls a body much further once he's given himself over to undiluted wendigo feasting for every meal.
Yah but the real problem with the Wendy’s diet is the carbs, you see. It’s the The carbs that are bad not the all meat diet! Just remove the buns and you can eat all the Wendy’s you want. Before long you’ll be able to run marathons, bench press twice your weight and do twenty pull-ups with energy to spare.

Check out the area around Fatass's mouth in today's live show. Looks like the moron finally decided to use his sleep apnea machine which I imagine has been recommended to him for decades now.

Alternative explanation is Tammy made him eat ass last night
It’s really super important for people who have sleep apnea, otherwise they don’t get any good sleep, which is a risk factor for all kinds of health problems, from diabetes to heart disease to dementia.

Of course free food and butterbeer. The guy that says sugar is evil is going to to drink butterbeer which is loaded with sugar.


Da Fuq does that even mean? I know it's words but "it affects inflammation of the brain" is not a sentence that has any meaning. Is he suggesting that coffee causes inflammation of the brain? If so why isn't everybody who drinks coffee coming down with encephalitis? Charles probably said something about coffee being bad for your health and "brain inflammation" is what Jagoff got from it. If anything it reduces inflammation in the brain for those with Alzheimer's and Parkinson's. To everybody else? No change.
I’ve read that coffee is an anti inflammatory beverage and that it also has anti oxidants, though it is not as good as tea. The benefits are certainly outweighed by the risks if one loads it up with cream and SURRRGAR. 😁
Interestingly, tea contains natural fluoride and a study done in England found that tea drinkers had better teeth than non tea drinkers even when they added sugar. How they found a control group in England, where almost everyone drinks tea, ☕️ is a total mystery.

You know, while there is something to be said about avoiding heavily processed foods, this whole idea of a carnivore/raw/caveman diet is bullshit. Firstly, our teeth are obviously not the teeth of obligate carnivores. Secondly, cavemen were the ones who started cooking things as much as possible back when starting/keeping fires was a bit of an ordeal versus the supreme luxury of electric flame. They would carefully pack embers for travel and transportation, to provide them with a cookfire later on. The story of how we received the fires of the gods is a whole thing in the Greek mythology. Eat more natural foods, eat a healthy mix of meats, fruits, vegetables and starches. Lay off the heavily processed stuff. Drink more water, get more sleep. Go for a walk.
This 👆for sure.
people forget about the basics and sound nutrition, hoping for a silver bullet and an easy way to get healthy. Same thing with the new weight loss drugs that are now showing some serious side effects

I see a lot of people in this thread who think that eating a pure meat diet is going to kill him faster because they believe in outdated medical science.

It would be ironic if he actually dropped weight and cured his diabetes by sticking to the carnivore diet, it would be hilarious actually. It would be proof positive that the carnivore diet actually works. But that means he'd have to eat no veggies, no breads, no carbs whatsoever, only eggs, meat, liver and he'd have to cook it all with animal fats. His toilet is going to cry, by which I mean overflow, repeatedly.

We'll see what he does. I hope he doesn't disappoint.
I can understand cutting out processed foods, especially carbs, but what is with the carnivore diet’s hostility towards vegetables? Anyway, the all meat diet is just plain stupid. One example:

Ketosis isn't the goal of a carnivore diet, since you can drink milk or eat yoghurt both of which have plenty of carbs. You can eat a pretty learn carnivore diet and don't have to fatload like on keto.
The all meat diet is just plain stupid. Here’s one example:
The idea that it was veggies causing the lolcows health issues is laughable.
 
I failed quitting smoking every time I set a specific date. It barely ever lasted more than a day. The one time I finally just decided "I'm never smoking a cigarette again" it stuck. Of course this took a couple months of nicotine gum, nicotine lollipops (those were nice before they were outlawed) and nicotine patches, then another solid month of tapering off.

It was so vile and unpleasant I'm horrified by the very idea of smoking tobacco again because it would mean having to quit it again.

That said, that's really what you have to do to quit doing something. Just don't do it any more. It sounds simple, but it's the only way. If you "can't," what that really means is you won't.
Yup. I’ll PL a bit and say that was my grandfather’s method of dropping cigarettes when he was still alive. Hits his 70s and goes “not doing it anymore” and stopped. Was no “do it next week or programme”, he just stopped because he wanted to.

Nothing about Jack and his diets be them keto or carnivore are actually about dropping the weight and lowering cholesterol. It’s him deluding himself that he’s doing something about it, which is insane to me because he’s had how many brushes with the reaper now?
 
Yup. I’ll PL a bit and say that was my grandfather’s method of dropping cigarettes when he was still alive. Hits his 70s and goes “not doing it anymore” and stopped. Was no “do it next week or programme”, he just stopped because he wanted to.

Nothing about Jack and his diets be them keto or carnivore are actually about dropping the weight and lowering cholesterol. It’s him deluding himself that he’s doing something about it, which is insane to me because he’s had how many brushes with the reaper now?
I've known people that have quit cold turkey and I get it that it's not pleasant but there's a greater psychological impact than physical need for nicotine and that's what brings people back.

I knew a woman who wanted to quit smoking and she did for a couple months. But she'd always go out on a "smoke break" with her friends because she missed those times. This was part of what she wanted. And because she's surrounded by smokers she went right back on it. For most people, or for things like medication, it's best to taper off. I find that a three day cycle is the best way. Reduce it every three days by half. By the end you'll be over the worst parts of it.

ketosis and diabetic ketoacidosis are not the same thing.
No but a faggot like Jagoff needs to pay attention to the diet because he's the type that doesn't understand taking one bite from his fast food burger is enough to render his Keto diet ineffective. Guy eats carbs all the time even though he's a diabetic and rails against sugar. One of the funniest things was complaining about the food when in rehab. He'd bitch and moan that they were giving him stuff with carbs when he's a diabetic even though diabetics still need carbs. Then he'd complain the next day how small his dessert was. Guy has no self awareness which is why he thought "leaning" keto was legitimate.
 
Yah but the real problem with the Wendy’s diet is the carbs, you see. It’s the The carbs that are bad not the all meat diet! Just remove the buns and you can eat all the Wendy’s you want. Before long you’ll be able to run marathons, bench press twice your weight and do twenty pull-ups with energy to spare.
he has heart failure. red fatty meats are the last thing he needs. turkey maybe okay, but not fatty shit
 
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