Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[wenttobermuda]

Lucas is so dreadfully boring these days. He was once an extraordinary lolcow.

It's actually kind of cute that he has a "job." Good for the fat faggot, and about goddamn time. But if he's not bragging about the particulars, it's something that he takes no pride in. Something he might even be a little embarrassed about. Like a volunteer sped position.

I wonder if he has any fecund female co_workers?

 

[Da Dude123]

I hope we get fatty cashing his check and carrying around his cash and flashing it around like he is some sort of unsigned rapper. He will do this in a vain attempt to impress the zoomer baes. It won't work. Sure, being an unemployed lard ass is one of many of Lucas's lesser qualities, but him having a minimum wage part time job is not enough to impress lady Z.

Plenty of men who work full time, don't live in group homes, and aren't morbidly obese lolcows are single. Lucas will still be an Lolcow. I really hope they just give him the money and then his group home comes to him and tells him he is short on rent and needs to pay up. He will let out a deafening mooo and reeee. He will be big mad and will post about greedy landlords and eating the rich.

 

[WonderWino]

Well now, isn't this interesting:

What was that stuff about loading trucks again lucas? Now you're claiming you're a shopper for online orders. Sounds like lucas either couldn't hack a couple shifts of loading trucks and got demoted to a less strenuous job or he's making shit up again and can't keep his lies straight. First I find it hard to believe they just have a random different job available that they could just dump him into. Second, I find it very unlikely that they'd be letting lucas waddle around some grocery store unsupervised as there is no way his wrangler didn't give at least some info about him that would advise them not to do this, cause of his past behavior, and third i'm not even sure this is legal and not a violation of OHSA regulations given that lucas has a documented history of MRSA and shouldn't be handling other peoples groceries and whatever else they're ordering. Especially with his poor hygiene. That kind of thing could land them in a lawsuit and on the news for starting a fucking MRSA outbreak. Shit when I was doing security at the ER the very first thing I had to do was ask if a patient knew if they had MRSA and if so there were all kind of safety shit I had to do with gloves and shit before I was allowed to give them paperwork or handle anything they'd touched

I'm not a fan of cow tipping but if its true some grocery store or whatever is sending out orders filled out by a guy who has documented MRSA and regular outbreaks thats something his boss should legitimately be notified of in the interest of public safety. Loading boxes is one thing, handling peoples food and who knows what else is something else entirely

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

Even those people in stores that collect things around the store for online orders are hustling like Lucas can't do. I am suspicious.

 

[WonderWino]

Even those people in stores that collect things around the store for online orders are hustling like Lucas can't do. I am suspicious.

Yeah it doesn't really make any sense. Its just as active of a job, just in a different way. Lucas can barely walk a few feet without getting out of breath and even has a hard time making videos without panting like a dog on a hot day even when he is doing nothing but talking. If he really is doing that he isn't going to last very long

Though I am getting a sudden horrifying image of lucas driving around the store in one of those electric carts intended for disabled obese customers just tossing stuff into an open bag and breaking half of it while honking at various customers to get out of his way and trying to show off his wheels to zoomer baes standing in the checkout line as he passes by. Though I can't see lucas driving around on one of those ending well for him either

 

[Club Sandwich]

to offer another option: Lucas is a dumbass.

i worked at a local warehouse in the 90's for a summer helping out a buddy during some crunch and we would read tickets placed via catalogue, phone, or online via email for packaging and fulfillment. it effectively was "shopping for online orders" in a way since it was a generic industrial supply shop with 5 or 6 online stores sharing physical space. i strongly doubt Lucas would be a purchaser, which is someone directly trusted to buy things on behalf of a company, but i could see him being useless at a loading dock and instead told to do order fulfillment which might require wandering around a parts room or something and scooping nuts and bolts and whatever else into bags for mailing out.

otherwise it falls on the "Lucas would fail at food delivery because he's a self-centered fatass and amazingly incompetent".

the other side is this is another scam he fell into where he's told to buy stuff for export to foreign countries and he's paid via gift cards or is being used as a mule for online gift card / credit card fraud where the goods purchased are being sent overseas and he's left holding the bag.

 

[VoidFace]

Lucas, you fucking halfwit: beings without freewill don't have coping mechanisms, they cannot rationalize their actions by definition, because if they had the ability to do those things then they would necessarily have free will.

You're assuming free will to argue against free will, you moron.

 

[Da Dude123]

You know, I wonder if Lucas is working in some sort of retail store that does like online in store order pickup? He goes and gets the item in the store and brings it to wherever to wait for customer pickup? As has been mentioned the fat cow would not be good at that either.

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas is trying to sound smart again why talking complete nonsense

Even something that is eternal has to come from somewhere. Certain species of jellyfish are biologically immortal but they still have to be born first. The math we have at present pretty clearly shows the universe is not eternal, nor does it 'stretch' at all, it expands, there is a difference. and where the fuck is he getting the idea that the universe does anything at six times the speed of light, thats nonsense. None of that has anything to do with why 'energy can't be created or destroyed' he still does not understand those things still had to come into existence at some point and likely did so when the laws of physics were not as they are now. Plus unsurprisingly he doesn't seem to understand what entropy is. That will eventually take care of both matter and energy. Even wikipedia of all things calls bullshit on his claims

Again its no wonder myrna learned to shut that shit down the moment he started talking about physics and got him thinking about food instead. I assume that technique still works. I can just see lucas going off on some looney physics rant at mallon place and jamie suddenly asking what lucas wants for lunch and he immediately shifts to ranting about food instead for hours

 

[VoidFace]

Lucas is trying to sound smart again why talking complete nonsense
View attachment 6026723
Even something that is eternal has to come from somewhere. Certain species of jellyfish are biologically immortal but they still have to be born first. The math we have at present pretty clearly shows the universe is not eternal, nor does it 'stretch' at all, it expands, there is a difference. and where the fuck is he getting the idea that the universe does anything at six times the speed of light, thats nonsense. None of that has anything to do with why 'energy can't be created or destroyed' he still does not understand those things still had to come into existence at some point and likely did so when the laws of physics were not as they are now. Plus unsurprisingly he doesn't seem to understand what entropy is. That will eventually take care of both matter and energy. Even wikipedia of all things calls bullshit on his claims

Again its no wonder myrna learned to shut that shit down the moment he started talking about physics and got him thinking about food instead. I assume that technique still works. I can just see lucas going off on some looney physics rant at mallon place and jamie suddenly asking what lucas wants for lunch and he immediately shifts to ranting about food instead for hours

Did he just hear about thermodynamics for the first time recently and now it is like his (really poorly understood) hyperfixation? I've seen physics freshmen understand this concept better on their first day than he seemingly has in 40+ years.

 

[WonderWino]

Did he just hear about thermodynamics for the first time recently and now it is like his (really poorly understood) hyperfixation? I've seen physics freshmen understand this concept better on their first day than he seemingly has in 40+ years.

Yeah its definitely a hyperfixation on his his part. He's repeated that same exact argument about the first law of thermodynamics for at least the last few months practically word for word as some kind of gotcha against the existence of a god. Lucas does that alot when he thinks hes found some kind of gotcha. He latches on to things he thinks make him sound intelligent. But as expected he doesn't understand what he is talking about and uses it in weird ways. Essentially the same thing he does with words he thinks sound smart

Lucas desperately wants to be seen as intelligent and someone worth listening to. He knows on some level everybody knows he's a retard, even his mother and doesn't know what to do about it so just repeats shit he thinks makes him sound smart. Hell he thinks just going to a community college made him smart and still thinks those looney papers he submitted as sped english assignments and getting a 'good grade' was a comment on his scientific knowledge not the composition of the writing itself given its an english class not a science class. He also doesn't understand he got 'good grades' in that class because he's a sped

 

[Fatal Walter]

Weird he's going on about the big crunch so much. I was recently reading his writings from when he was 36 and he was going on about how fast the universe is expanding. He seems to think it's moving faster than light and that this proves it's possible but actually it's just things really far away getting farther away faster than light because of how expansion works. He even brought this up like 2 paragraphs after talking about Einstein. And now he thinks the big crunch explains where matter came from? Okay lol

I can understand why Lucas would want a do over on his life, though.

 

[Amewsed]

Yeah its definitely a hyperfixation on his his part. He's repeated that same exact argument about the first law of thermodynamics for at least the last few months practically word for word as some kind of gotcha against the existence of a god. Lucas does that alot when he thinks hes found some kind of gotcha. He latches on to things he thinks make him sound intelligent. But as expected he doesn't understand what he is talking about and uses it in weird ways. Essentially the same thing he does with words he thinks sound smart

Lucas desperately wants to be seen as intelligent and someone worth listening to. He knows on some level everybody knows he's a retard, even his mother and doesn't know what to do about it so just repeats shit he thinks makes him sound smart. Hell he thinks just going to a community college made him smart and still thinks those looney papers he submitted as sped english assignments and getting a 'good grade' was a comment on his scientific knowledge not the composition of the writing itself given its an english class not a science class. He also doesn't understand he got 'good grades' in that class because he's a sped

Basically Lucas.

https://youtu.be/lStcwT_RGrQ?si=9htNNgUCbg0R1XFD

 

[WonderWino]

Weird he's going on about the big crunch so much. I was recently reading his writings from when he was 36 and he was going on about how fast the universe is expanding. He seems to think it's moving faster than light and that this proves it's possible but actually it's just things really far away getting farther away faster than light because of how expansion works. He even brought this up like 2 paragraphs after talking about Einstein. And now he thinks the big crunch explains where matter came from? Okay lol

I can understand why Lucas would want a do over on his life, though.

a video made about lucas's looney claims about physics would probably drive him up the wall and make him seethe. He absolutely despises people calling him out for saying stupid shit, especially stupid shit he thought made him sound smart

That said lucas should be careful what he wishes for or he'll end up with that big crunch ending that was described at the end of kpax where everything not only contracts and expands eternally but when it does everything repeats exactly as it did the first time around. Lucas would be doomed to repeating his existence over and over again for all eternity. Clearly that outcome of his big crunch claims never occurred to him or he'd be horrified

 

[Bassomatic]

Lucas is a very lonely person. Self earned but, I digress. The fact his job has changed already and no details are two red flags to me. Now to the first part, he's a babbler mouth and huge ego. No way could he keep quiet on details. Any details not like a self dox but he does that himself normally. The second of changing spots, I'll play devil's advocate and maybe he was just demoted because they didn't understand how weak slow and off he is. If there is a job the coach probably said oh he's a college honor roll but mental health issues. Hell Dr. John Nash falls under this (the guy who invented game theory and movie a beautiful mind was about him) then there's well Lucas. As an employer who does these programs you can see how they are expecting an off but intelligent people then waddles in the gay fatter baby Huey that is the Wern

One funny thing he does like all the other faggots into "pop science" you know bull shit or taken out of context for twitter likes aka the entire career of Neil "but i did have breakfast" Tyson. Theyy just go full Noam Chomsky just stringing big words together like a parrot.

As Einstein said if you can't use simple terms and explain it to a child you don't understand it. I bet my last dollar Lucas doesn't understand even he word themo but he's back on this big crunch shit. The only big crunch Lucas has to look forward to is his dentures on cheerios he stole from a food bank.

Part of me hoped that his job was going to be a volunteer gig. Big mad when he doesn't get paid and he's too stupid to see that. Maybe even better if at a Church. Can you see him mopping up the communion wine spills and not getting any alter boys? God making Lucas clean his house while Lucas "gets nothing" would be an old testament God prank.

Actually yeah I'm cheap but 300 range for a ticket? Going out to mountains around me eating out etc nice little B&B can be done for that! I rather have a weekend away with Mrs basso or even solo than a concert. Maybe in showing my age when I was going to I college and "big" name punk/ska bands were 20 bucks. Then again, while I admit I can be cheap to not brag as someone wos been successful hell just working for almost 20 years you'd probably be able to pick up a treat like this or if you're tight at the event maybe even be able to borrow because you've been responsible and trusted with credit. Putting tickets on a card is stupid but I digress again.

I don't even mean as a humble brag I could swing them if I needed to. It's well I have a place I have cars I have shoes (remember Lucas walks 15. Iles a day shoeless). I as most anyone reading this could probably justify a ticket in that range.

Lucas as I just reminded us all probably himself as well. Claims to not have shoes and brfitr his first paycheck he's planning on a very expensive ticket for a one night concert. Let's also add in costs of food drink and his Uber etc. I don't know about you but if I didn't have shoes or glasses I'd probably not have spent the 8 dollars I did to see North by Northwest on big screen last week

What makes his lunacy so much better is you just know he posted that to brag. He flexes anything to lure zoomer baes. Even the kids who he stalks after have better finance skills. Little 15 year old Jenni who works after school skips Friday pizza night with friends because her old iPhone will be unsupported soon and a brick.

Then we have "practically a doctor" living in an old folks home for retards, no car, no shoes and steals from food pantries spending money before bed even earned it. Ready to be a dad my ass.

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas is a very lonely person. Self earned but, I digress. The fact his job has changed already and no details are two red flags to me. Now to the first part, he's a babbler mouth and huge ego. No way could he keep quiet on details. Any details not like a self dox but he does that himself normally. The second of changing spots, I'll play devil's advocate and maybe he was just demoted because they didn't understand how weak slow and off he is. If there is a job the coach probably said oh he's a college honor roll but mental health issues. Hell Dr. John Nash falls under this (the guy who invented game theory and movie a beautiful mind was about him) then there's well Lucas. As an employer who does these programs you can see how they are expecting an off but intelligent people then waddles in the gay fatter baby Huey that is the Wern

Yeah that would explain alot, though lucas must have a sketchy as fuck wrangler if he's trying to do the same shit lucas does to try to get him access to a job. Telling his employer he's a little off but totally got on the honor roll is disingenuous at best and flat out manipulative at worst. Its pretty obvious what kind of person you'd generally be expecting if someone told you that. Like you said someone who is intelligent but a little off or slow. Lucas is stupider than a bag of rocks, has no skills and acts looney all the time. Not someone any employer would want around if they knew what he was like ahead of time. I'd be none too pleased with whoever is running the job placement program if I was an employer and they pulled this kind of thing on me

and yeah like you said there is something off about him not providing details, at least by accident. Now even lucas is smart enough not to name the specific place usually but he usually lets things slip accidentally before too long cause he's an idiot who doesn't realize he's doing it. But his story keeps changing and he's being very cagey about everything so something feels off about the whole thing. I mean hell the jobs he described having are exactly the kind of jobs he's not even capable of doing properly and wouldn't even attempt to for very long, so whats going on there

Something is off about this whole thing

That said he posted again:

and the comments:

Back to the 'interesting conversation' stuff again, showing he talks like a fucking alien and doesn't understand how relationships work. For all his claims of knowing when he's being fucked with he clearly doesn't understand every comment there is fucking with him, and in a blatantly obvious way. I've said it before and i'll say it again - lucas is absolutely on the autism spectrum. Doubly so given his admission he doesn't understand the facial expressions on some emotes, like not knowing if a crying emote is agreeing with him or making fun of what he's saying so he blocks them

Here we have lucas showing he is too stupid to understand that there is a difference between an actual flag and an american flag themed disposable plate, cup, cutlery and napkin set. Its a fucking napkin not an actual flag. Nobody is wiping potato salad off their face with an american flag either

Stupid as a bag of rocks. Just stop and consider how utterly stupid a person has to be to say what lucas did in that post and to not understand the difference between a themed set like that and an actual flag. His brain must be absolute swiss cheese

EDIT:

Looks like lucas is talking all kinds of nonsense today:

Loves it huh. Sounds like gaslighting to me, from the same guy who smashed a glass against a wall in public cause he saw some guy with his teenage daughter he wanted to fuck and scared the shit out of his girlfriend and then ended up getting a restraining order that he violated and 50 days in jail over it

But go on lucas, keep trying to gaslight people claiming you're calm, rational and patient when your girlfriend kicks you out because you broke her rule about not being violent with her

Its addams so he couldn't even get that right. and if he's anyone he's a creepier pedo version of uncle fester. He's the uncle fester that isn't invited to their halloween parties and isn't allowed to be alone anywhere with wednesday

Plus gomez is a fucking nutjob, why the hell would any woman want someone that would act like gomez addams to her. That should raise all kinds of red flags

and I doubt there are many zoomer baes out there who have seen anything addams family related that didn't involve that shitty new wednesday series

and another biology post:

Lucas yet again proving he doesn't understand anything at all about basic biology and can't even understand what he is reading. a virus does not only contain RNA and not DNA, a virus can contain only RNA or only DNA. It depends on the virus. This is common knowledge. This is 8th grade high school science stuff. Lucas is talking utter nonsense and thinks it makes him sound smart

and he wonders why he gets called out for not understanding anything about science and the papers he reads and then completely misunderstands

also lol at using both viruses and virii

Fucking moron

 

[SteveGoatman]

to offer another option: Lucas is a dumbass.

i worked at a local warehouse in the 90's for a summer helping out a buddy during some crunch and we would read tickets placed via catalogue, phone, or online via email for packaging and fulfillment. it effectively was "shopping for online orders" in a way since it was a generic industrial supply shop with 5 or 6 online stores sharing physical space. i strongly doubt Lucas would be a purchaser, which is someone directly trusted to buy things on behalf of a company, but i could see him being useless at a loading dock and instead told to do order fulfillment which might require wandering around a parts room or something and scooping nuts and bolts and whatever else into bags for mailing out.

This was my first thought, that's he working in a warehouse and basically being sent to pick parts out of bins and fill orders etc. I doubt he'll last at this either but he sure as hell wasn't going to last actually loading trucks or interacting with the public...and I'll also agree he shouldn't be touching anybody's food.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

Again its no wonder myrna learned to shut that shit down the moment he started talking about physics and got him thinking about food instead. I assume that technique still works. I can just see lucas going off on some looney physics rant at mallon place and jamie suddenly asking what lucas wants for lunch and he immediately shifts to ranting about food instead for hours

Lucas has 3 topics:
1) Food
2) Sex
3) Quantum theoretical physics and astronomy

And the fact that the first two are >66% of what he talks about should give you an idea of how badly he misunderstands the third.

 

[WonderWino]

Lucas appears to be on his psycho science mating call kick tonight:

EDIT:

More science from lucas. He must have gotten himself worked up into another manic phase and fixated on science for it

Literally spouting bizarre statements without apparent context or reason. Says alot that he doesn't realize how nuts this makes him look

 

[Da Dude123]

This is all plenty good. Those Gen Z baes don't know what they're missing! Lucas has been able to buy expensive dinners in the past, so he can do it in the future. Sure, he was living in a vagrant shelter. Is that a problem, bigot? Stop being classist and stop being agephobic. Where ya at, baby zooms? Lucas has a job that his human services agency got him and he is in the mood to take you out for a fancy steak dinner once he gets paid!

Mr. I hate money and capitalism is always bringing up how much things cost, especially when he spent the money. Not just lobster tail, $89 lobster tail. And the hoody he didn't win was like $40 and that fat girl won it instead.