Jason Thor Hall / PirateSoftware / Maldavius Figtree / DarkSphere Creations / Maldavius / Thorwich / Witness X / @PotatoSec - Incompetent Furry Programmer, Blizzard Nepo Baby, Lies about almost every thing in his life, Industry Shill, Carried by his father, Hate boner against Ross Scott of Accursed Farms, False Flagger

[ifxztykgdnfvmsdjhfbSD]

This part cracks me up. Pirate's excuse of going away from his computer was that "he heard loud noises, loud enough to hear through the game-play" and he went to check out for intruders in his house with a machete, since it's the only thing he had in his house.

He comes back and says it was. Get this: Loud Paper

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Why is his printer upstairs and in a separate room from his computer? Somehow the printer scene from Unfriended was more believable.

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

Sure he could, if the wet end of the paper bag was somehow dangerous.

Or do you mean he'd be so far gone no one would be able to follow him?

He'd go on about his expertise at navigating the dark, damp, depths of the paper bag at the start. Convince everyone to join him as he traverses it. He'd dart around edges and corners frantically looking at his phone for guides on navigating the paper bag out of the sight of others praying something comes up he can use.
Then the second he hears a noise or sees something bad he'd roach out leaving the others trapped to deal with it, within the paper bag.

 

[The Thinking Tree]

Funny how him and Britbong are second life lolcows with threads here
And they apparently knew each other too
Second Life has the power to attract these types of weirdos

Jason is probably aware of britbong considering he has him blocked without any prior interactions.

https://archive.md/mZVQp

 

[Lvkester Endorser]

Keemstar made millions and a entire lifelong career out of bullshitting. I guess the lesson to learn here is don't go to college or learn a trade, instead become a egotistical streamer with a voice changer and a terracotta bathroom gnome that doubles as a dildo

No, the lesson is that bullshitting will, in the end, lead to a downfall where everyone laughs at you and you are left with nothing. Stay in school, kids.

I genuinely worry for the future of indie games if Jason is one of the people leading the charge.

Mald is not leading anything, though. He is literally an edaddy for people who are MORE lazy and autistic than he is. Don't worry about indies, just support the good ones and that's that.

 

[MaldingFerret]

I genuinely worry for the future of indie games if Jason is one of the people leading the charge. Not just because he's the biggest fucking retard on the planet, but because he's successfully shepherding a large audience into thinking his way of gamedev is the "correct" way. Luckily that cancer is mostly relegated to his youtube shorts and the larger creators he collabs with. Still gets one wondering how long an aspiring game dev who makes devlogs has to wait until Maldy's Figs come crawling asking about the good word of the Managem Marathoner.

He's not leading shit, he's playing AAA goyslop and making himself look like an idiot.
Most people following him will end up making a very basic metroidvania that will sell maybe like 10 copies on steam.
You have nothing to worry about.

 

[God's Burger Flipper]

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https://ghostarchive.org/archive/JwSRK

I am an actual expert in this field. I have been in the games industry for 20 years. I was the Lead of Application Security at Blizzard Entertainment, a Senior Red Team Specialist for Blizzard, have three black badges from DEF CON and my last job was hacking power plants for the United States Department of Energy. Over my career I have formed detections that have led to the banning of over 2,000,000 accounts. This is 100% my wheelhouse.

 

[74164978231]

The dichotomy of autism.

"I can't stand this faggot. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to wade through 89 hours of his content."

Literally sums up half of KF.

 

[Angry Lurker]

I am an actual expert in this field. I have been in the games industry for 20 years. I was the Lead of Application Security at Blizzard Entertainment, a Senior Red Team Specialist for Blizzard, have three black badges from DEF CON and my last job was hacking power plants for the United States Department of Energy. Over my career I have formed detections that have led to the banning of over 2,000,000 accounts. This is 100% my wheelhouse.

New random.txt copypasta just dropped

 

[Gravemind]

Literally sums up half of KF.

I long since stopped watching Mald's stuff and I only follow whenever you people post either stuff making fun of him, or other people criticizing him.

 

[Burnt Hog Smell]

View attachment 6880926

 

[Shuhalo]

Over my career I have formed detections that have led to the banning of over 2,000,000 accounts. This is 100% my wheelhouse.

Touching on this real quick, I saw comments on a video discussing this. His 2 million count is extremely unlikely, unless he's counting every ban from tools he likely just existed near during their creation.




He stopped working with Blizzard in 2016. In 2014, Blizzard put out an infographic (That I've cut for relevance), stating that across the decade they had had 100,000,000 players/accounts. By 2016 when he left this number would have risen as more people tried the game (And Warlords of Draenor did see a subscriber bump) but I am doubtful that it increased very much as WoD was a notoriously shit expansion that suffered a massive exodus that has impacted the game to this day. So generously, lets say the amount of accounts created for WoW by 2016 was 110,000,000. He's saying that, singlehandedly, he banned about 0.4% of all players that had ever touched the game. He's so full of shit his eyes are brown.

Edit: My math sucks, it was apparently closer to 1.8% according to The Stranger. Which is way worse tbh.

 

[Gravemind]

He's so full of shit his eyes are brown.

I guess even the gnome can't help with that much shit.

 

[TrainWreckWatcher]

I long since stopped watching Mald's stuff and I only follow whenever you people post either stuff making fun of him, or other people criticizing him.

I am forever grateful for the superb autists that do it for us. Because I Do not want to subject myself to his content on a firsthand basis.

 

[Retink Retunk]

Jason is probably aware of britbong considering he has him blocked without any prior interactions.
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https://archive.md/mZVQp

It's weird as he goes by Maldavius in AoC and Eve, not sure if that's smart because it poisons the search results or he's just really retarded. It seem like it might be the ladder as he uses Maldavius when he's the guild leader like in the two games mentioned but uses Pirate for WoW where he's a random guild member.

 

[Johnny Silverhand]

Assumed this was a joke but here are some images for proof. Also found another listing here (archive) for $23.19.
View attachment 6878427View attachment 6878445View attachment 6878443

Lmao searching "gnome dildo" led me back to this thread on Google images.

Also I refuse to believe that thing hasn't been shoved up his ass before.

 

[stupid fufu]

Are we making a comeback to the I'm sick arc? Does Jason not have cold relief medicine? It's winter ffs.
View attachment 6880466

How the fuck does this nigger get sick? He spends all of his time inside and orders literally anything online. Complete lunacy.

 

[Retink Retunk]

How the fuck does this nigger get sick? He spends all of his time inside and orders literally anything online. Complete lunacy.

Ferret Pox? That or he's hiding to try to let the heat die down.

 

[Gravemind]

How the fuck does this nigger get sick? He spends all of his time inside and orders literally anything online. Complete lunacy.

Quite easily when you spend all your time indoors and order everything online. That's not a very healthy lifestyle.

All of the ferrets probably don't help either, and neither does the presumable squalor he lives in judging by those old apartment photos.

 

[MercuryMan]

Quite easily when you spend all your time indoors and order everything online. That's not a very healthy lifestyle.

All of the ferrets probably don't help either, and neither does the presumable squalor he lives in judging by those old apartment photos.

Even with that in mind he has given himself ridiculous amounts of sick days in the past. I only see the Feb deadline being reached with a shadow programmer. Assuming he doesn't just release a minor hotfix every month to continue the larp of wholesome indie dev.

 

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

Funny how him and Britbong are second life lolcows with threads here
And they apparently knew each other too
Second Life has the power to attract these types of weirdos

Had. I've been down the deep 4chan hole of SL and from the "real funny abusing niggas" to what is considered 4chan now, it's completely neutered. SL's sperg appeal was sex and bad avataras, which is now in every other platform. It's like saying furries are interesting cause of all the porn and OCs, which is found in just about any fandom if not just on twitter in general.

If anything, these spergs who groom minors on discord or ERP on webfishing should go to second life. Findom isn't abnormal there. Ageplay isn't abnormal. "The sims online brothel!!!!", taking money for sex? Literally the standard on SL.