Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

[itskaon]

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This movie is flawless so long as you dont think

Never criticize a product just consoom

 

[Monokuma]

Not joking, Redditor manbabies are killing themselves in droves. Check the news.

Biggest mass suicide since Heaven's Gate - perhaps even Jonestown.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

I'm so glad Parasite is doing well.

Carrie clearly saw the future the series was headed and literally force-An Herod herself to depart from this world to escape the shitshow. I still miss her but she'll always be our space mom

Kathleen needs to go. Cunt. "Women aren't ready to direct a star wars lol" but Mandolorian is proving her wrong.

Baby Yoda unites us. Not this hacked franchise continuation nobody asked for.

 

[InsolentGaylord]

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Finance Results
Market Summary > Walt Disney Co
NYSE: DIS
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146.54 USD −1.19 (0.81%)
Dec 18, 3:02 PM EST · Disclaimer


Was at a high of $151 Nov 29th (right after thanksgiving and right before the interviews and marketing started) and is now down $5 in two weeks after spending the last 6 months climbing out of a $128 hole.

If the stock drops below $120, you sure as shit know this movie had an impact.

I'd short the stock at $118 and you'll make your money back and then some by Summer when the next marvel movies come out.

Note on Marvel.

With the direction it's going down I would advise you sell off after the stock increases (if it does) with the release of Black Widow. The Eternals is likely to suck.

 

[Grotesque Bushes]

That and the 479,000 hour long Mauler video.

It'll be interesting to correlate the changes in star charts between the start and end of the bideo. I wonder if it'll last longer than a galactic year.

 

[ConfederateIrishman]

This moment in time will be remembered for centuries to come.

I doubt it, unless this somehow gets tied in as the prime example of the decline of American culture or something like that.

Not joking, Redditor manbabies are killing themselves in droves. Check the news.

Biggest mass suicide since Heaven's Gate - perhaps even Jonestown.

Link?

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Apparently both Rich and Mike are angry and are also angry at jay for not caring and jay is angry that people care too much.

The review is going to be fucking amazing.

Source? Twitter? Anyway, when their review drops, it's gonna be great. Very cool.

DSP HAS NOW OFFICIALLY OUTLASTED STAR WARS!
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Who will he outlast next? The Queen of England? The US Banking System? Find out next week!

Can he outlast his foreclosure though?

Well folks, it was a good run, but I got some bad news.

I got tickets for Plan 9.

Now before you guys crucify me, I did NOT pay for these; I was gifted them by my poor ol' grandma who didn't know better, since she knows how much I enjoy the series.

I will provide first hand thoughts after the showing tomorrow, where hopefully the mental trauma will be shoved off for long enough for me to make coherent, sane statements.

Bless me God Emperor, for I am going into Hell tomorrow.

Frankly, whatever you do, it goes without saying that you tell your grandma that you thoroughly enjoyed the movie and that you're very grateful for having seen it thanks to her present.
Whether you watch it or sell the tickets, it's up to you, but I guess you can at least experience the cringe first hand in the theatre.

My fucking step-dad unironically loves TFA and TLJ and preordered tickets to this dogshit back in October. He's the biggest redneck you could think of yet has the soyest tastes imaginable. This nigga watched ANH on opening day and has watched every movie except the Ewok films at least 50 times yet is hyped beyond all belief.

He invited me to go see a showing next week at some big theater, should I even go? I haven't spent a dime on this drivel, and I haven't exactly been the biggest Star Wars fan (I think the only thing that ever really appealed to me was that one pod racing game on the N64), so there's not really any catharsis factor going for me, but I want to be nice and spend time with my folks since they rarely go out of the house to see movies.

Similar thing here. Grab a beer and enjoy the ride if you want to spend some time with your step-dad. Maybe you can at least laugh at the shittiness of it all...

...no freaking way. They actually named it the Holdo maneuver.

I think they named it somewhere earlier in a book and media pushed it a lot under that name, too.

And now they handwave it as something that only works on a one out of a million chance... utterly laughable. Utterly laughable.

He's already started

Rian Johnson says pandering to fans is a "mistake"

Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker premiered this week, and reactions to the concluding chapter of the saga have been largely negative. As of this writing, the sequel has a 57% rating on Rotten Tomatoes—compared to The Force Awakens at 93% and The Last Jedi at 91%. Rian Johnson, who directed the...

film.avclub.com

God beware you make something the people you intend to sell to actually want...

Because why the fuck when you just dumped billions into developing something would you do some dumb fucking thing like actually try to appeal to the people willing to pay for it? Who would do that, what are you, stupid, you fucking Nazi?

Great idea "subert audience expectation" by dropping a fucking deuce in the audience's mouth when it was hoping for a movie.

Maybe he is a cuck and him not getting what he wants, that is: fucking a gf, and instead getting off on the idea of her getting fucked by someone else (ie: Star Wars gets fucked up), that might explain his attitude. He thinks if fans have to watch Star Wars getting fucked, they will enjoy it just like he enjoys the idea of a hot gf being fucked by someone else.

 

[Iwasamwillbe]

Not joking, Redditor manbabies are killing themselves in droves. Check the news.

Biggest mass suicide since Heaven's Gate - perhaps even Jonestown.

Used both Google and Bing and still can't find where such insane shit is coming from.

 

[The Last Stand]

This is the Battlefront II of Star Wars movies. Disney must really be proud of themselves they butchered a beloved franchise.

 

[AtomicAgeBoy]

Act 3

Addition: in the Ochi's ship, BB- 8 finds the hairdrier robot and fixes him. I believe here is when Ray says that she believes this is the ship that brought her to Jakku as a kid, earlier in act 2 Ray mentions how the ship looks familiar the first time they spot it before they fall in the sand.

They leave the asteroid field and an F.O ship starts to follow them, scene reminicent of when Boba started to follow the Falcon in Empire. REMEMBER EMPIRE STRIKES BACK!? WE DO!

It is also revealed that there were 2 transport ships other having imperial troops and Knights Of Ren, that is the one that got destroyed. The one that had chewie got safeky out and now chewie is their prisoner and have the dagger


They go to Kijimi where Poe says there is a source which could help them translate the Dagger,
(Sort of, they can find a guy who can help 3PO to get over the restriction)

they find Zorri Bliss, a female bounty hunter which was Poe's gf before he became a pilot, he tries to say hello there and she makes fun of him, how he could have guts to come back to her, she agrees to help them because of Rey, she tells her they need to be strong in this galaxy because they aren't as many as them and she looks at Finn and Poe.
(Another sort of. Rey beats her and her goonies in a fight and simply tells Ray she likes her)

They get to a cute alien called Babu Friek
(Yes, Babu Friek is cute and based)

F.O. arrives on Kijimi but this time with a new weapon from Sidious, a Star Destroyer with Death Star tech,
(This happens way later near the end when they want to send a message to the resistance of their force and blow up Kijmi. Also, this is when Rey senses chewie on the ship)

Kylo goes to Kijimi to find Rey but they already left and got to his ship to get the Falcon (And Chewie) back using Ochi's ship.
(Addition. They get a pass that helps them get in to the ship from Poe's ex gf. She was going to use it herself to get out of Kijmi since it has universal clearance to almost anywhere. She couldnt leave before due to hyperspace lanes being guarded. Which brings out the guestion how our heroes got here or how she later can come help our heroes in the end but I am ahead of myself.)

Addition: In the ship Rey goes on her own to find the dagger since she senses. It ends up being in Kylo's room

during their fight Rey destroys Vader's helmet and Kylo goes nooo,
(Cant remember Kylo reacting other than that him realizing they are in the ship)

then Rey senses Chewbacca on the ship and cuts the force bond,
(This happens when the F.o arrive on Kijmi and she senses Chewie being alive on the ship which also means they have the dagger)

Kylo says to prepare his ship and get there. On the ship General Pryde is contacte by Sidious via hologram and tells him to blow up Kijimi to show his loyalty to him as Pryde worked for Sidious 30 years ago before the Empire fell.
(This is towards the end way later)

They do it though troops tell him supreme leader Ren is still there and he says it doesn't matter, Kylo leave Kijimi before it's blown up and he is very angry,
(false)
Rey and Finn and Poe are captured and put with Chewbacca in a cell.
(Rey is not captured as she is on her own, they capture Poe Chewie and Finn after they find and rescue Chewie. They are sent to be executed, there are 3 troopers and Hux, Hux says he wants to do it himself and one trooper gives him the gun, Hux then kills the troopers and reveals he is the spy. He tells them the way to Falcon and they thank him, Finns hoots him in his leg. because Hux wanted to look like he put up a fight to keep the facade. Finn asks why is he helping them and Hux says he would rather die than see Ren win. I think somewhere in here is 3PO hijinks where he carries all of their weapons including Chewies bow.

Rey meets up with Kylo in the hangar as he arrives and F.o surround them. They talks some gay stuff, Kylo gives ray his hand again. Falcon arrives and blows in to the hangar from the thrusters that blow everybody away except Kylo and Ren, Finn stands in the falcon enterance telling Rey to come and she does, they escape

They are freed by Hux who tells them he would rather die than see Ren win. Pryde finds Hux and kills him

Someone posted the supposed plot on 4chan. Here we go...

THE PLOT OF PLAN IX:

Act 4

Addition: Hux acts all wounded and saying he couldnt stop them from escaping, Pryde shoots him and says to tell Kylo that they found the traitor


Kylo makes Pryde supreme commander of the First Order and sends them to Exegol to prepare the ships and conquer the galaxy under the new Empire called The Final Order.
(Could be, I cant remember honestly. So this part is iffy. But the Final Order is mentioned way earlier)

Our heroes go to Kef Bir
(Addition, this is where the dagger said to bring them)

Addition: Falcons breaks dont work and it crash lands , Jannah spots them

ewoks inhabit Kef Bir too which means they found some way to travel to Planets thanks to rebels.
(False)

They meet Jannah, they join forces and find the thing Rey is looking for,
(Kinda, Jannah finds them when they are looking at the death star trying to figure out where the wayfinder is. Here Ray remember that the translated message said something along the lines of "With this dagger" dont remember exactly. Here Rey opesn a half circle thingy from the crossguard of the dagger. She looks trough the dagger at the death star and lines up a section of the dagger with the death star and the half circle point where to go. How fucking convenient that they are just at the right place or esle this wouldnt have worked. This is where Jannah appears with her goonies.)

Kylo goes after them, he crashes his ship on death star and waits for Rey to come,
(False)

Rey wants to go there but Jannah tells her it's too dangerous, she doesn't understand the planet as she does,
(The waves were too big and violent so they were going to wait for the morning. Our heroes tell that is too long, they need to get there now. They agree to fix the falcon with any spares they can find to get there faster. )

Addition: In the falcon Jannah and Finn bond and Jannah tells Finn that she andriends a all her fre Ex-storm troopers like Finn who rose against their commanders. Here Finn explains it was the force that lead him and them agains F.O.

she doesn't care and takes a ship there,
(During Falcon fixing Ray takes a water glider and rides to the death star, Jannah tells Finn there is one more and they get to it to after Ray)

gets in the death star and finds a cube,
(Additional info, there is a secret room in the emperor's throne room that leads to the holocron)

a red Sith cube, she touches it and everything changes she meets her darkside self and fights her but she is losing then she gets out of it because of Leia's voice.
(No Leia's voice as far as I can remember)

Kylo is there, he tells her he knows the truth, her father was a bounty hunter and her mother was a normal lady from Naboo.
(This happens back in Kylo's room where they bond and I dont remember the lady being said from Naboo)

But her grandfather, it was Darth Sidious. She ignites her lightsaber and throws Kylo through the window outside the death star,
(Rey swings at Kylo but he does dodges and leaps down a hole to lead Ray away. We dont see what happens here between since they cut to Finn and Jannah but when we return they are fighitng outside)


fight happens, Rey falls in water and dives back, Finn and Jannah arrive and they try to help her, Rey force pushed them away and sends Kylo through another window entering another room
(They fight on the platform and dodging waves with Force jumps, Finn and Jannah arrive and look at them fight from affar)


she kills him then ressurects him and tells him she will never be like him,
(I dont remeber last part happening but adding some info: It was previously shown that Leia senses their fight and gets weak when trying to contact Kylo and is lead away to her private quarters. During the fight, Leia speaks to Kylo who stops and looks back, this is where Leia dies after using all of her strenght and at the same time Ray staps Kylo but doesnt feel Leia's death untill after she has done this. Her and Kylo both seem shocked and Rey sues her powers to heal Kylo's wound, Kylo wasnt dead yet.)

Kylo on the death star alone hears his father's voice, then Han appears in flesh and Kylo says he is sorry, he tells him he loves him and Han says I know.
(To my memmory this doesnt happen immedialetly after but basically this happens minus the last part (EDIT: Turns out my memmory might be shit and it is possiple has does say "I know"). Kylo asks how is he there and Han says he is his memmory or some bullshit, Han calls him Ben and kylo says Ben is dead, Han responds saying, no, Kylo Ren is dead. then Han asks Kylo to come back and says its too late or something, Han says some fatherly bullshit I can't remember. Anyhow, this ends with Kylo throwing his lightsaber to the ocean, turning back to Han to see he is gone)

 

[Monokuma]

Used both Google and Bing and still can't find where such insane shit is coming from.

hit me with that "schizoid" tag my nigga

 

[ThePurpleProse]

The flood gates are open, we all know those who don't like Disney SW have to say, but what about the other side?

The mouse soldiers are marching!

 

[School of Fish]

Honestly, I hope that Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker does do poorly in the box office. The stupid 'woke' shit that Hollywood has been pushing for far too long needs to finally stop and the more that this 'woke' stuff fails then the more it will force Hollywood to finally produce better content then.

The 'woke' crap didn't really work for Ghostbusters, it didn't work for Jurassic Park, it didn't work for Men in Black, it didn't work for Charlie's Angels, it didn't work for The Terminator, and it won't work now with Star Wars either.

It's really hialrious to see Disney run something as iconic as Star Wars into the ground and when you can't even make a gold mine like Star Wars work then you know that you have royally fucked up big time.

 

[Love Machine]

IT'S FINE!!!!!!!! JUST LIKE THE MANDALORIAN, ITS FINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Buster O'Keefe]

Because why the fuck when you just dumped billions into developing something would you do some dumb fucking thing like actually try to appeal to the people willing to pay for it? Who would do that, what are you, stupid, you fucking Nazi?

Great idea "subert audience expectation" by dropping a fucking deuce in the audience's mouth when it was hoping for a movie.

I would honestly like to hear what, if any, ideas Johnson had for a continuation of the story after TLJ. It's like he was participating in a retarded round-robin story, and made it almost impossible to pick up again, like Lovecraft in this pulp garbage. At least Bob Howard took it and went full balls out alien Conan.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

This is the Battlefront II of Star Wars movies. Disney must really be proud of themselves they butchered a beloved franchise.

What are te microtransactions and loot crates?

 

[Antipathy]

What are te microtransactions and loot crates?

Novels and other tie ins to explain plot holes.

 

[Scarlett Johansson]

Honestly, I hope that Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker does do poorly in the box office. The stupid 'woke' shit that Hollywood has been pushing for so long needs to finally stop and the more that this 'woke' stuff fails then the more it will force Hollywood to finally produce better content then.

The 'woke' crap didn't work for Ghostbusters, it didn't work for Jurassic Park, it did work for Men in Black, it didn't work Charlie's Angles, it didn't work for The Terminator, and it won't work now with Star Wars either.

It's really hialrious to see Disney run something as iconic as Star Wars into the ground and when you can't even make a gold mine like Star Wars work then you know that you have royally fucked up big time.

Honestly I will never understand how Jurassic World is one of the highest grossing films of all time? Crisp Rat is a boring protagonist.

Shame Hollywood thinks that rehashing shit does anything.

 

[fuckass]

What are te microtransactions and loot crates?

funko pops and nerd gear

 

[Iwasamwillbe]

hit me with that "schizoid" tag my nigga

I mean if people are actually killing themselves over Star Wars Plan IX, then surely you could at least bring up a link.

Just to clarify, I wasn't saying that you were making up insane shit, just that people offing themselves over Star Wars was insane shit.