Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

So... according to this super important tie-in (that is "essential to understanding" Plan 9 and Snoke's reason for existing) that was released today, this greenhouse planet is where Snoke lived and its where he and Kylo Ren spent their first night of passion together.
Graphic novels explaining shit movie plot threads didn't work for The Matrix 2 & 3, didn't work for Transformers and didn't work for J.J.'s Star Treks. The people buying and reading these number in the 4-5 digits. And I actually like this shit. Movies need to be able to stand on their own legs in the theater, and cannot be propped up by this "multimedia approach." It's bad storytelling. At least in the case of the three franchises above it was done for the fans, and an effort was made, but in the case of Star Wars they're trying to justify woke-shit after the fact and shitting on fans non-stop. It doesn't work. Fuckers.
 
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Can't have surprises I guess.
 
Exactly. They had everything they needed to cruise smoothly into record profits and chose to crash into a ditch and set the car on fire instead. Alas for what was and what could have been.
I refuse to believe that Star Wars is a hard brand to maintain, especially as originally developed. George's autism and counterproductive leadership style tricked everybody into thinking that there was something unwieldy about the brand itself. There isn't, it's simple as hell. Disney had hundreds of stories to draw upon from the Extended Universe, just like Marvel had literally thousands of stories to draw upon for the MCU.

All they had to do was leave it to the preprogrammed autopilot, but they went and grabbed the controls and nosed down as hard as they could.
 
This franchise has become a really drawn out way to burn money and I can’t wait to see the fire.

Part of me considers that this actually may be applicable here.

Remember the movie the 'Producers'? Where the main characters borrowed so heavily and prayed the movie to tank and thereby kept all that sweet sweet money.

Could, in all the 'hype' leading up to TROS have many loans, guarantees, bank notes and all other hollywood accounting shenanigans attached to it and then have it fail to meet 'expectations' and wipe out Disney's debt from all the other movies it propped up throughout the year? Compare it to being married, your spouse, your kids have debt, you transfer all that debt to your name, you declare bankruptcy, they walk away debt free. 4D chess or "Creative Use of Game Mechanics"?
 
Y'know, despite how much of a meme it became, I gained a newfound appreciation for Eisner after watching a lot of Defunctland, particularly the season 2 finale. Sure, we can poke fun at how he greenlit a bunch of questionable/edgy ideas to try and give Disney a more mature image, and the entire EuroDisney debacle is funny in hindsight, but I have to give the man some credit. He presided over the Disney Renaissance, releasing hit after hit that turned the company's fortunes around and helped to create the modern Disney empire (for better or worse). And at least when they released unnecessary sequels back then, they went straight-to-video where they belonged, unlike modern Disney that shoves that garbage into theaters for full price.

Hearing Eisner talk about how Hollywood is completely uncreative and risk-averse in the season 2 finale was kind of an eye-opener, and made me realize just how shit of a job Iger has been doing in his stead. I was also floored to find out that his company was behind BoJack Horseman, one of my favorite shows of the past few years.

The fact he hated Lost with a passion is just icing on the cake. Keep on truckin', Eisner.


Man, it's really hard to choose between Parasite and The Lighthouse for me as best movie of the year (that I've seen). Everyone in this thread: if you haven't seen them, you owe it to yourself to cleanse JJ's filth from your mind and watch some great movies. Both are excellent films in every aspect, and JJ wishes he had even a modicum of their directors' talent.
I would also recommend you see Richard Jewell. It’s a refreshing movie that doesn’t have any lefty bullshit in it.
 
So can we forget about all this shit and get on with a Revan movie now?
Fuck that, gimme a Republic Commando film, and do it like Saving Private Ryan; gritty, violent as hell and not afraid to show the horrors of warfare.

And instead of saving said private, it's saving Sev.

No, I am not angry at Boss, YOU are.

Please jesus let me just know if he's alive out there I can't handle the pain anymore
 
Of course, in Old EU, the Solo children are waaaaaay more fucking important in the story arcs than Ben Skywalker. That is fine. No one honestly was gonna bitch about that. Leia is Luke's twin; the idea that her children would be powerful in the Force is perfectly logical.

The thing that has always left me on the curb about Rey is, if they wanted a female protagonist so badly (I'm all cool with that, we know there are lots of female Jedi already) what was wrong with the Jaina arc?

(Okay, we can shit on Kevin Anderson here, but let's say that Jaina's arc is adapted more or less from the novels but by writers who are much more competent that Anderson, and also they are only doing three movies' worth as opposed to nine million novels)

The idea of "girl has to kill her Sith twin because he's the big villain but he kinda only went that way because their baby bro died and they are both super fucked up over that" just gives your girl protag so much more actual motive to Get Shit Done. Also, the death of little Anakin fucking up the Solo twins gives Jacen (your Kylo replacement) some actual fucking character depth.

Rey doesn't know Emps from shit even though he is her grandfather, so there's no emotional resonance in the Big Final Duel. Jaina versus Caedus/Jacen? And when she kills Caedus, she feels Jacen - still in there - die in the Force whilst trying to save his unborn daughter? Fucking brutal.

if you really wanted to Subvert Le Expectations, give the entire nine film cycle a bummer ending like that. Yes, the Sith are gone, the galaxy is saved and the Jedi win... but at what a cost to the Skywalker extended family. Give your heroine shades of grey.
Ben was pretty damn powerful, actually, and really the only reason he wasn't important was because Fate of the Jedi was the last series to feature him, and he was pretty young. However, I agree with you that ultimately it was Jacen Solo that saved the galaxy from the Vong and shaped the Galactic Alliance into what it was by his actions as Darth Caedus. Ben was mostly along for the ride.

That's one thing I DID like, Luke having no kids. Lucas never liked the idea and it was never set up in the films. I liked the idea of Luke being married to the force(I never cared for Mara Jade either-outside of Zahn stuff)...

He only did it to capitulate to whining fans.

Narratively, it makes way more sense the bloodline would pass through Leia/Han...

Now, adopted child of Luke? I could get behind that, if it was developed and earned....

As far as female lead? I have no issues. The original idea for 7-9 protagonist was Luke's sister(before she became leia)with Luke as a supporting lead.

But, in hindsight, I think Finn would have made for a better protagonist than Rey. Boyega is a better actor than Ridley. Plus, the idea of a defecting force sensitive stormtrooper with no past/name, inherenting the Skywalker legacy sounds pretty great.

That would have been a wonderful foil with the Kylo's entitled natural bloodline.

You lose the romance/sexual tension between Rey/Ren but wasn't much there anyway...
I've never minded Luke having kids, the absolute first thing he'd get rid of is the no marriage requirement of being a Jedi, considering it's what fucked his father over.
 
Anybody want some free cancer?

Watch this video from 1:30 to 3:54, keeping in mind what we now know about this fucking shitshow...

Please note that it will not be held against you if you shut the video down when he starts grunting like a horny gorilla.

There is no shame in retreating from the face of true horror
 
mass reply because damn you guys work fast (and the mods seem to dislike doubleposts to keep it tidier, even without postcounters for some reason)

Jar Jar Binks
+Lives a long fulfilling life in a powerful Senate position

Because of his role in abetting the rise of the Empire, Binks was once again exiled by his people. After the Battle of Endor and the rise of the New Republic, he performed in the streets of Theed as a clown who was popular with children but not so much with their parents. Many Gungan and Naboo adults refused to speak to him or say his name. Binks entertained the children by performing numerous antics including wagging his tongue, juggling glombo shells, spitting fish up in the air and catching them, dancing around, and swallowing and flushing out water through his ears.

you can thank that little shit wendig and his soybuddies at the story group for this.

Speaking of Yoda, I know I’m late to this but what’s the general consensus on how Yoda was treated in The Last Jedi? I don’t really hear many people talk about it but the little I do hear people say he was alright.

>alright

the whole yoda scene was retarded from start to finish

- yoda behaves like the idiot the first time he met luke back on dagobaah to trick him. is he senile? can force ghosts have dementia now?
- pokes luke on the the shoulder because force ghosts can interact on a physical level now.
- being over 800 year old and considered one of the wisest jedi around goes "lawl dawg pageturners they're not"
- proceeds to torch the whole tree to make a point, which opens another can of worms
-> if force ghosts have that kind of power, why doesn't he just zap kylo while taking a shit or jerking it to rey snoke?
-> if he wanted to burn the books - which rey already stole as later shown - didn't he know? did he know and he was just fucking with luke?

You don’t ever want to do reshoots if you can avoid it. They had to know it could be an issue because Ron Howard had to scrap god knows how much shit when he was brought on, and unlike JJ he’s a competent director and Solo was still fucked.

I don't even think solo was bad initially, it just wasn't what disneytards wanted (same as rogue one). the reshots probably did more harm than good - but hey, better get the highest focus group score!

I remember seeing that a few hundred pages back when people were wondering who the fuck Vi was, and I think it illustrates a major problem with the way "woke" writers execute their craft.

I keep seeing posts on other sites about how to world build "properly" that come across as complete nonsense. It's stuff like "How does this society handle disability?" Or "Who controls the wealth in this society?" It comes across as completely irrelevant at best and outright propagandist at worst.

really depends on the context. having a writer or GM get a second opinion usually works out better for everyone involved. let's say you want your protagonist to lose a leg - what would that mean for his character? in cyberpunk he would just get a metal leg, while in low-fantasy he would be basically fucked (unless "it's just magic bro!" it gets healed, completely diminishing the effects of bodily harm). or more ontopic: resurrection is now canon in star wars. so how does that work? can some sith just come along and resurrect sheev? why didn't finn who's apparently force-sensitive now just ress kylo? what's the half-life on a corpse to be resurrected? are sith-necromancers a thing now?

same with wealth and other details. a good "world" needs to make sense, and not everybody knows how a society shapes over time and what that implies. remember, we had a similar discussion in this very thread when some kiwi noted how it bothered him how poe literally sends bombers while having cease-fire talks in the beginning of TLJ.

Boba's only popular cause he looked cool.

same can be said about vader actually. in ANH the first time we meet him he was only black dude among whites. then he chocked a bitch. can't remember much else till he shows up in the end and gets "saved" by han.
you know when I thought kylo ren was somewhat cool? when I played eafront 2 and all he did was spout vader-like phrases and ignored anything else around that character.
sometimes less is simply more.

It feels like the worse Disney has gotten at handling the franchise the more EA SEEMS to be be turning things around (at least in regards to how it handles the Star Wars liscense. Battlefront 2 has gradually worked it’s way up from complete disaster to a game that although not as good as og BF2 is a pretty fun multiplayer shooter on its own right. Jedi Fallen Order wasn’t KOTOR or Jedi Academy tier but it was still a pretty solid title.

this has nothing to do with disney but EA getting desperate. you could see the same effect when dice sweden fucked up bf4's launch and ea had to pump millions into post-launch support to not have the whole IP crater instead of dropping the game then and there like they usually do. was probably cheaper than trying to establish a new franchise that can compete with cod - especially after they tried it with MOH and battlefield spinoffs (latter only bombed because of EA's greed) and failed.
of course in their infinite wisdom EA kept letting dice sweden shit up the games, like battlefront which only sold because of the name only to deliver their magnum opus battlefield 5 to finish what they couldn't with 4.

eafront 2' launch followed a pretty lackluster first game and only showed up in the news when EA tried to bring their ultimate team shit from fifa into their shooter franchises. it's possible that disney gave them a dickpunching for it, but considering how disney handled star wars as a whole that's unlikely.
it's more probable that EA is fucking scared people getting fed up with loot boxes since that's what actually makes the biggest chunk of EA's money and it gets put into law. belgium banned them outright already, and while you might say "who cares about belgium?", having a whole country not buying your scratch tickets still stings.

For the record, how many agree that the problem wasn't inherently the idea of a female protagonist for the sequel trilogy, it was just done poorly?

the problem isn't females, but shit writing. contrary to woketard beliefs the majority of people don't hate women - they just want entertainment, be it male of female.
you could cast rey as a dude and it wouldn't improve the trilogy one bit.
 
Anybody want some free cancer?

Watch this video from 1:30 to 3:54, keeping in mind what we now know about this fucking shitshow...

Please note that it will not be held against you if you shut the video down when he starts grunting like a horny gorilla.

There is no shame in retreating from the face of true horror
Oh hey, that guy!

Someone grab a link to his original video, that shit is hilarious.
 
Anybody want some free cancer?

Watch this video from 1:30 to 3:54, keeping in mind what we now know about this fucking shitshow...

Please note that it will not be held against you if you shut the video down when he starts grunting like a horny gorilla. There is no shame in retreating from the face of true horror
Even the thumbnail is akin to catching a glimpse of Cthulhu himself.
 
Oh hey, that guy!

Someone grab a link to his original video, that shit is hilarious.
1:54 to 4:00 is the actual reaction bit...christ disney and mark hamil actually tried to use this as free marketing....jesus fucking christ

Lol this whole fucking star wars apocalypse made me forget one potentially amusing question...

...how the fuck are the toys gonna sell once the dust settles?

Like will they even fucking hit shelves or will they be online purchase only and rot for the next 30 years in a warehouse?
 
But, in hindsight, I think Finn would have made for a better protagonist than Rey. Boyega is a better actor than Ridley. Plus, the idea of a defecting force sensitive stormtrooper with no past/name, inherenting the Skywalker legacy sounds pretty great.

would've never worked. the prequel-hate was still strong back them and the last thing disney wanted was politics or even too much talking.
but more importantly the first order are space nazis. which makes finn a space nazi too, because there is no redemption for anyone on the wrong side of history.
if you do, could that mean the space nazis are redeemable? maybe they're not that bad. maybe there's a reason people react like that and join or even form empires. wait why is the FO depicted like literal nazis then? that doesn't make much sense...

TLDR: don't make the cattle question the product. there's a reason finn's origin was quietly dropped.
 
Lol this whole fucking star wars apocalypse made me forget one potentially amusing question...

...how the fuck are the toys gonna sell once the dust settles?

Like will they even fucking hit shelves or will they be online purchase only and rot for the next 30 years in a warehouse?

I look forward to more coverage of this by WorldClassBullshitters.
 
Anybody want some free cancer?

Watch this video from 1:30 to 3:54, keeping in mind what we now know about this fucking shitshow...

Please note that it will not be held against you if you shut the video down when he starts grunting like a horny gorilla.

There is no shame in retreating from the face of true horror
He has to be hamming it up for attention at this point.
 
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