Biggest bullshit in a video game

[Twitter Hate Mob]

Some of the intervention battles as The Empire in Total Warhammer 2 are straight up unwinnable. Did you roll an army consisting of the lord, 2 swordsmen, and a single unit each of knights and handgunners? Better hope you haven't got the fucking awful "Statue of Sigmar" map which spawns you in the woods right next to the much larger and more powerful enemy force and your "allies" on the other side of the map who'll do nothing whilst you get zerg-rushed every time.

2000 gold for the privilege, please. Bullshit.

 

[Ebonic Tutor]

Watch Dogs

I'm playing this single player game, liking the world and the mechanics, then I get a mission:
Find a hacker.
OK, let's go find that asshole.
The game tells me to access the web. Since the game is all about tech and hacking stuff, I assume that it refers to some in-game equivalent of the internet.

The game actually wants me to go online in order to find a hacker.
A motherfucking single player game needs me to go online in order to finish the mission and I can't continue the game until I do so.
FUCK THAT!!!
I went out and sold the damn game on the same day.

I'm reminded of Meryl's codec number in MGS being on the back of the box and the little slip of paper with Startropics that you had to put into water to reveal the code for the submarine. If you ever rented either of those games as a kid and didn't have access to the internet or the right magazine good fuckin' luck.

 

[A Welsh Cake]

I have like 396 Mods for Rimworld installed and it takes forever to fucking load. But I refuse to uninstall any.

 

[Damn Near]

the entirety of Hotline Miami 2

 

[wtfNeedSignUp]

FFXIII-3 being a timed game.
Now timed games aren't necessarily bad (for example Atelier), but when you combine them with "What the fuck I'm supposed to be doing" and quests that can only be advanced in certain parts of the already limited amount of days, you get a game that can only be played with a guide unless you wish to risk several hours of gameplay going down the drain.

 

[BrunoMattei]

This game (Dead by Daylight) is 4 years old and to this day the devs still refuse to punish ragequitting.

 

[Belvedere]

This shit in any game, more so if it is not F2P:

 

[Neet Tokusatsu]

This one part of the jungle level of Sonic Heroes where you have to do a ring dash with the camera facing away, and if you press the button when not perfectly aligned you dash off the ledge and have to do the whole difficult segment over again. 6-year-old me ended up breaking the controller after game overing enough

Every single time i saw a trail of rings above a bottomless pit in Sonic Heroes i thought "hmm, i wonder how many times i'm going to die", the lightspeed dash was a very finicky mechanic if not borderline broken, and the game expects you to pull it off flawlessly every single time

I don't think I ever got that far in Sonic Heroes, I can never get past that one part in a future city-type level where you're in some kind of round building filling with lava and you have to jump from ledge to ledge to escape it which shouldn't be that difficult were it not for the forced overhead camera angle that makes it nigh impossible to aim your jump properly.

I remember i had to look at a YT playthrough in order to see how to beat that part of the stage, not a good sign to have something like that very early in the game, however, my most bullshit thing in Sonic Heroes by far, is the rail grinding, fucking rail canyon and bullet station can go to hell, rail grinding in Sonic Heroes, just like the lightspeed dash or the physics (or lack of thereof) in casino park. feels unfinished, you spend like 80% of the time in both stages grinding on rails, and you have to switch rails constantly in order to avoid hazards or progress in the stage, the problem is, it is very easy to miss the next rail since you have to jump and to land in the other rail, but you most likely miss the rail since the hit detection feels broken, and both stages are pretty much giant rail sections above a bottomless pit, if you miss a single jump, be prepared to redo a good chunk of the stage again, seriously, those two stages are the sole reason why i most likely won't play Sonic Heroes ever again

 

[FIetchling]

Off the top of my head:

In Pokémon Black and White, by the time you've finished the main story and head on to post-game stuff, your party is probably at level 50 and above on average, after performing hours of mass wild Audino genocide.

You get into a battle with another trainer on the new routes that are available post-game, and their Pokémon are at level 60 and above, at least 10 levels above your entire team.

 

[Well Intentioned]

Plutonia abuses the shit out of chaingunners, way more than Doom II ever did. Levels like Ghost Town were a goddamn nightmare because they weren't so much levels as much as they were giant circular arenas where you were turned into Swiss cheese by asshole chaingunners that deal damage faster than you can. And the Casali brothers knew this, they deliberately made Plutonia as ball-busting as possible, and what enemy is more cheap and annoying than the goddamn chaingunner?

The Archvile/Chaingunner combos were always a delight.

For those not familiar: Archviles have the ability to resurrect dead enemies and Plutonia was notorious for placing Archviles in areas where you couldn't kill them, so they'd just endlessly resurrect Chaingunners over and over.

 

[GethN7]

Super Robot Wars K was the shittiest game in the Super Robot Wars series, but one level in particular was utter bullshit even by the bullshit standards of the rest of the game.

You re-enact the assault on the DSSD station from Gundam Seed Destiny: Stargazer, and the level design is basically intended to piss you off. You're screwed if the enemy sets foot on one tile of the station, and by default already halfway to the goal while the game places you at the ass end of a really huge map.

It gets worse because any pilot on your team that didn't have "Accel" (move +3 spaces at turn) was basically screwed getting to the station first, and over half your team doesn't have it. Worse, the few defenders the station has at the start are laughably weak and don't even count as minor speedbumps for the hordes of GSD goons killing them.

Once you managed to cover the station with enough troops to fend people off, it's still BS, because this is a game where every enemy has a barrier whether it makes sense or not while the same does not apply to you in almost all cases, so you are pissing away ammo like crazy hoping you can kill off the rampaging hordes while they are tanking obscene amounts of damage.

The entire level took me over a dozen tries to finally beat and I still got half my team killed trying to pull it off.

 

[Inflatable Julay]

All of mirrors edge

 

[Shroom King]

The chaingunner was awful in Doom II, he's a cheap bastard that can rapidly snipe you from tall buildings with strangely impeccable accuracy.

However, he didn't get truly awful until Plutonia.

Plutonia abuses the shit out of chaingunners, way more than Doom II ever did. Levels like Ghost Town were a goddamn nightmare because they weren't so much levels as much as they were giant circular arenas where you were turned into Swiss cheese by asshole chaingunners that deal damage faster than you can. And the Casali brothers knew this, they deliberately made Plutonia as ball-busting as possible, and what enemy is more cheap and annoying than the goddamn chaingunner?

The only redeeming quality about these bastards is that their death animation is beautifully cathartic, with half their bodies being blown in half. Doesn't make up for the rest of their bullshit though.

The beautiful thing about Plutonia is that it wasn't like the Kazio-level hard megaWADs that followed that only assumed you would play on Ultra-Violence (and would design the maps around that). Plutonia would absolutely fucking destroy you even on the wuss difficulty.

 

[JoyfulDarter]

This shit in any game, more so if it is not F2P:

I still don't mind lootboxes if it's purely cosmetic shit that you can unlock in other ways. But it bothers me in games like Overwatch where it's patently obvious a lot of developer resources go towards said cosmetics rather than actual content for the game. I know there's arguments about "well not all members of a dev team do the same things" etc but when they have the exact same Halloween event map since the game launched and cosmetics come during special "events" that don't offer any new maps/content it's pretty obvious lootboxes drive development, not content.

 

[Duncan Hills Coffee]

The Archvile/Chaingunner combos were always a delight.

For those not familiar: Archviles have the ability to resurrect dead enemies and Plutonia was notorious for placing Archviles in areas where you couldn't kill them, so they'd just endlessly resurrect Chaingunners over and over.

There's something similar in the first map of Plutonia where that Archvile continually resurrects the chaingunner. You can kill it, but you better find that secret rocket launcher.

That right there is pretty much the harbinger of the kind of pain Plutonia inflicts on anyone who plays it.

The beautiful thing about Plutonia is that it wasn't like the Kazio-level hard megaWADs that followed that only assumed you would play on Ultra-Violence (and would design the maps around that). Plutonia would absolutely fucking destroy you even on the wuss difficulty.

I tried playing on Hurt Me Plenty and even that felt like the equivalent of the Ultra-Violence difficulty in other WADs. If nothing else I can commend the Casali brothers for making a legitimately difficult WAD, one that actually challenges you no matter what difficulty you decide to play on.

 

[Kaede Did Nothing Wrong]

the biggest bullshit is when game devs remove stuff so the can sell a shittier feature back as microtransaction. like when valve removed custom sprays from CS to sell graffiti.

 

[Stasi]

Any game with an abrupt and unexpected spike in difficulty at the end. One that is fresh in the mind is the last boss in Puzzle Quest. Whatever strategy you had up to that point is now useless and nothing works. You just have to slam your head against the wall until you get lucky. Which you wont.

It was so bad that when the game came out the developer had to make a public statement telling people the AI definitely wasn't cheating. Which just tells you they made a game with piss poor progression with a brick wall at the end instead of a difficulty curve.

 

[Dom Cruise]

Watch Dogs

I'm playing this single player game, liking the world and the mechanics, then I get a mission:
Find a hacker.
OK, let's go find that asshole.
The game tells me to access the web. Since the game is all about tech and hacking stuff, I assume that it refers to some in-game equivalent of the internet.

The game actually wants me to go online in order to find a hacker.
A motherfucking single player game needs me to go online in order to finish the mission and I can't continue the game until I do so.
FUCK THAT!!!
I went out and sold the damn game on the same day.

The Secret World has quests like that where you were supposed to use the real life internet to get info, but in that case they actually had an in game web browser, though it was still stupid.

I'm reminded of Meryl's codec number in MGS being on the back of the box and the little slip of paper with Startropics that you had to put into water to reveal the code for the submarine. If you ever rented either of those games as a kid and didn't have access to the internet or the right magazine good fuckin' luck.

I owned the game as a kid but still couldn't figure out by what the Colonel meant by "the back of the CD case" so I had to just slowly go through the Codec number by number till I found Meryl's.

If he had said "game case" it would have been clearer, but I would never have described a Playstation game case as a "CD case", CD meant music to me, so I had no fucking clue.

 

[Shield Breaker]

I'm still asshurt about how enemy attacks phase through terrain in Soulsborne games but yours don't.
How didn't they fix that within four fucking games?

Because it's not an oversight. I don't remember which interview, but they admitted they allow it instead of making the enemies smarter and more reactive. I don't know why.

 

[Megaroad 2012]

Going broad.

I'll take unskippable cinematic cutscenes over scripted unskippable events scenes like Half-Life where I'll wind up facing a wall to wait for the stupid scene to play out.

Crafting.

Skill trees.