The Worst movie ever made

[Johnny Bravo]

Pup: Black to the Moon

I'm not saying it's worse than Foodfight... but it probably is.

The trailer actually makes it look better than it is. Most of the movie doesn't focus on getting to the moon, it's about the dog rescuing the black sheep and... having the hots for her. It's also the most racist film since Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. There are Chinese sweat shop worker spiders and I swear to god the Russian dog says "vodka" at random times during his dialogue.

 

[Christ-Chan]

When it comes to movies that 've actually sat down and watched with high hopes I'd say Mulholland Drive from 2001. Worst movie in general (that was officially released by a distributor, so ignoring independent and "made-for-fun-and-put-it-on-the-Internet" flicks) is probably something like Lost in the Woods or Blood Feast.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I'm guessing Twilight and The Last Airbender are too obvious. Though I guarantee The Last Airbender is easily the worst movie adaptation.

I think Howard the Duck could give them a run for their money in the appalling adaptation stakes. What's upsetting is that it could have been great - the comic is this bizarro social satire. The film pretty much only adapts part of the basic premise, i.e. that it's about this anthropomorphic duck who finds himself trapped on Earth.

The plot is a mess. The antagonist shows up two thirds of the way through - I don't mean that's when his identity is revealed, I mean that's literally the first time anything happens other than Howard farting around Cleveland. The antagonist, who is some sort of demon beast who has pretty much nothing to do with anything prior to his appearance, is handily defeated using a deus ex machina laser thing. The dialogue is lazy, the script often contradicts itself, the jokes aren't funny and I don't care about the characters. When the hero is a talking duck and the villain is a space demon, that's almost an achievement. Even the characters don't care about the characters - Howard seems unable to decide whether he likes or hates the space demon guy. Nobody ever seems to be in any real peril, because the peril is so ineptly portrayed. The script, in short, is unbelievably lazy and screams "first draft, fuck I didn't realise the deadline was tomorrow."

Then there's the special effects. George Lucas was the producer, and was told that he'd be best off doing it as an animated film (this was 1986, before the advent of decent CGI). Lucas disagreed, and decided to instead portray Howard as a horrible, clumsy, creepy animatronic midget-in-a-suit creature with eerily human eyes. With these limitations, the makers decided he should be a master of kung fu (or "quack fu" HA HA BECAUSE HE IS A DUCK). The resulting fight scenes aren't even so bad they're funny. It's the only time I've wished for more CGI in a Lucas film.

I actually got this on DVD for £1 because I'd heard it was terrible, and thought it had to be so bad it's good. It isn't. There's no charm, no camp, no unintentional hilarity. It's just shit. You know how on the DVD case they like to quote reviews? You know how sometimes they mangle the hell out of the reviews in order to make them sound good? This one couldn't even do that. The best it could do was a couple of sentences praising the visual effects.

Basically, if you want a good Howard the Duck film, watch the stinger at the end of Guardians of the Galaxy, because those five seconds are more entertaining than the entirety of the Howard movie.

 

[Trilby]

My vote goes to this....

 

[LesmoreBeterworse]

 

[Jason Wynn]

Going Overboard, Adam Sandler's first movie is the worst one I've ever seen. It's so bad Sandler himself has disowned it and tries pretending it doesn't exist. Consider that for a moment, this movie is so shitty, Adam Sandler is ashamed of it.

 

[Midlife Sperglord]

The worst movie I ever watched was Anatomy of Hell, which is an obnoxiously misandrist feminist statement that manages to make hardcore porn footage boring, dry and clinical as hell. Seriously, it is two of the most hatavle characters in the history of cinema hate fucking each other so that the woman can prove some feminist points.

 

[Constellationzero]

> clears throat <

MARADONIAAAAAAAAHHHH!!

MARADONIAAAAAAAHHHHH!!

History: Re-written in blood stain.

 

[Pokemonquistador2]

It's no contest. The worst movie ever made and released in a theater is hands down After Last Season.

Plot? Nearly nonexistent. Something vaguely evil happens, someone gets stabbed, people read each others minds with microchips then a ghost moves things around.

Set design? Everything was filmed in a poorly lit warehouse filled with junk and in the bedroom of the director's house. The MRI "machine" featured in the movie is just butcher paper and foamcore board. The official building signs look hand-printed and attached to the wall with masking tape.

Special Effects? Bad greenscreen is used to show a person walking down a hallway (probably because that person couldn't make it to the shoot so they just filmed their part in front of said greenscreen and sent it in to the director. ) Objects moving by "telekenesis" are just pulled by fishing line. There's a long, extended CGI sequence which looks like it was animated by someone with a half-hour of Blender experience.

Writing? The dialogue in the film consists of people making meandering observations about irrelevant subjects and it only occasionally has anything to do with the overall plot. For some reason, the movie puts a lot of emphasis on a character insisting that she's been THROUGH a town, but has never actually been TO it.

Cinematography? As meadering as the writing. The camera will often focus on random objects as the characters are talking, or will have a walking point of view shot outside of a building for no reason at all. You could tie a GoPro to a box turtle and come up with a more well shot movie than this.

Acting? Not even Community Theater tier. It's basically the director asking some of his friends and coworkers over to stand around and mumble some lines in the most stilted, disinterested way possible. They act like a bunch of people whose payment consisted of a case of spring water, tictacs, and dinner at the local Applebee's. (And they were overpaid.)

Music? Consists mostly of noodling on a portable Yamaha keyboard. A groggy-from-the-vet cat on a piano would create a more coherent and compelling score than this.

ANYONE with a decent video camera could come up with a better movie than this. If you gave ME six hours to come up with the script, clothing and props, and to decorate a set in my brother's garage, I could come up with a better movie than this. A movie about paint drying on a ladder would be a more entertaining and watchable movie than this. Those student films where someone points a camera at a boring couple in a dimly lit kitchen who go through their daily routine while barely speaking for 8 hours are better films than this.

This is barely a movie. It barely moves what little plot it has forward, and it almost qualifies as an avant garde experience. The most annoying thing about it was that you felt that IT felt that it was doing SOMETHING. There were people talking. There were things happening. There was a part of the film where the movie was really insisting that something exciting was happening, but nothing really happened. Watching this movie is like having a dream where your mind is slightly out of sync with what you're experiencing. Where you feel compelled to speak or do something, but you can't quite get yourself to do it. All of the elements are there, but it's as if your mind is filled with mush. You can't interact with the world within your dream, except abstractly. That's what this movie feels like. I would warn anyone with schizotypal disorder or who has a problem processing reality to steer clear of this film. it will fuck you up severely.


As far as MST3K featured movies are concerned, the worst one I've ever seen was Invasion of the Neptune Men. Imagine a Japanese superhero movie like Prince of Space, but drained of all of the charm and excitement. With a hero made of cardboard, a bunch of kid sidekicks whose voices all sound like nails on a chalkboard, boring villains who have no real plans other than "invading earth" for no discernable reason, and with an extended sequence consisting of gray spaceships flying around in a gray sky for approximately 230,000 minutes. Oh, and it also has real footage of the WW2 bombing of Japan integrated into the spaceship scenes, so you get to see some real life death and horror with your matinee kiddie movie. Just skip the hell out of this and watch Prince of Space instead. I'd watch it ten times before I'd ever agree to watch Invasion of the Neptune Men again.

 

[Trilby]

As far as MST3K featured movies are concerned, the worst one I've ever seen was Invasion of the Neptune Men. Imagine a Japanese superhero movie like Prince of Space, but drained of all of the charm and excitement. With a hero made of cardboard, a bunch of kid sidekicks whose voices all sound like nails on a chalkboard, boring villains who have no real plans other than "invading earth" for no discernable reason, and with an extended sequence consisting of gray spaceships flying around in a gray sky for approximately 230,000 minutes. Oh, and it also has real footage of the WW2 bombing of Japan integrated into the spaceship scenes, so you get to see some real life death and horror with your matinee kiddie movie. Just skip the hell out of this and watch Prince of Space instead. I'd watch it ten times before I'd ever agree to watch Invasion of the Neptune Men again.

Nothing beats the laugh of Krankor!

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Epic Movie or Disaster Movie, because there's nothing more pathetic than a comedy with no jokes. Ballistic Ecks vs Sever also comes close being not only incredibly dull but somehow managing to have a plot that's both stupidly simple and confusing at the same time.

Or for a more recent so bad it's funny, Robin Hood. The opening scene where they're running around using longbows as if they're playing Call of Duty is unintentional comedy gold.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Shitflix's Death Note. Even if we pretend, that we are living in the universe, where original manga and anime and even godawful japanese movies don't exist, this movie is a failure on every level.

This is why I don't believe in "death of an author". Stupid people are just unable to create smart characters and in this movie, it fucking shows. The problem is if your main character is a villain of this story, but he is stupid and isn't caught in first 10 minutes, then all his opponents are even dumber. For fuck's sake, Light in this movie brings his Death Note to school without even disguising it and reads it right in the open. And when he's confronted by L, he just admits "yeah, I'm Kira, what's now?" without any second guess. You think that's because L is smart? Yeah, and after that he shows him his face, which is half of the things required to kill. And Mia is trying to kill Light's dad right in front of him, expecting that he will approve.

But what about moral side? Shit as expected. Death God first says he wants to get rid of bad people, then he doesn't give a damn and just wants to cause mayhem. Light, who movie desperately tries to paint as a victim in all this with his dead mom and him being pressured to use Note, kills school yard bully by decapitation in front of other two kids. Mia is killing people just because she didn't like to be cheerleader. L is shown all compassionate and kind, even though he introduced after he uses 20 people as bait and they all were killed.

And the tone of this fucking movie. It doesn't know what it wants to be. One second it is mystic thriller, other teenagers are fucking, then it is full of overly gory deaths like some black comedy, then it is thriller again, then romance, then chase scenes, then thriller again... Does this movie have fucking ADHD? Also, for some fucking reason it is full of 80's songs and music. Why? It completely destroys what little atmosphere this movie could have. Oh, and our thriller about killing hundreds of people around the world and moral questions about that ends with blooper reel. Yeah, they clearly didn't give a fuck.

 

[Travoltron]

It's no contest. The worst movie ever made and released in a theater is hands down After Last Season.

OK, what's the deal with that movie? I heard some people say it was an elaborate hoax. Did it actually get released in theaters? Some people said it cost millions of dollars. But it just looks like a student film to me. I saw dozens of kids in college make stuff exactly like it on $10 budgets.

The only movie I was going to walk out on was this shitty Roger Rabbit ripoff called Cool World.

It was just excruciating. I wanted to leave, but my friend with the car refused to budge. The rest of us had just had it. The movie thinks that it's so shocking and avant-garde, but it's just incoherent trash.

 

[frozenrunner]

The only movie I was going to walk out on was this shitty Roger Rabbit ripoff called Cool World.
It was just excruciating. I wanted to leave, but my friend with the car refused to budge. The rest of us had just had it. The movie thinks that it's so shocking and avant-garde, but it's just incoherent trash.

I never saw this, but I always wanted to check it out. And they couldn't even chop it into a decent trailer

 

[Michael Jacks0n]

OK, what's the deal with that movie? I heard some people say it was an elaborate hoax. Did it actually get released in theaters? Some people said it cost millions of dollars. But it just looks like a student film to me. I saw dozens of kids in college make stuff exactly like it on $10 budgets.

The only movie I was going to walk out on was this shitty Roger Rabbit ripoff called Cool World.

It was just excruciating. I wanted to leave, but my friend with the car refused to budge. The rest of us had just had it. The movie thinks that it's so shocking and avant-garde, but it's just incoherent trash.

IIRC the creator of this film had a completely different vision planned, and the producers fucked with his creative control and made into a bastardized version of Roger Rabbit. It was supposed to be way different.

 

[XYZpdq]

It's no contest. The worst movie ever made and released in a theater is hands down After Last Season.

Plot? Nearly nonexistent. Something vaguely evil happens, someone gets stabbed, people read each others minds with microchips then a ghost moves things around.

Set design? Everything was filmed in (A) a poorly lit warehouse filled with junk and (B) in the bedroom of the director's house. The MRI "machine" featured in the movie is just butcher paper and foamcore board. The official building signs look hand-printed and attached to the wall with masking tape.

Special Effects? Bad greenscreen is used to show a person walking down a hallway (probably because that person couldn't make it to the shoot so they just filmed their part in front of said greenscreen and sent it in to the director. ) Objects moving by "telekenesis" are just pulled by fishing line. There's a long, extended CGI sequence which looks like it was animated by someone with a half-hour of Blender experience.

Writing? The dialogue in the film consists of people making meandering observations about irrelevant subjects and it only occasionally has anything to do with the overall plot. For some reason, the movie puts a lot of emphasis on a character insisting that she's been THROUGH a town, but has never actually been TO it.

Cinematography? As meadering as the writing. The camera will often focus on random objects as the characters are talking, or will have a walking point of view shot outside of a building for no reason at all. You could tie a GoPro to a box turtle and come up with a more well shot movie than this.

Acting? Not even Community Theater tier. It's basically the director asking some of his friends and coworkers over to stand around and mumble some lines in the most stilted, disinterested way possible. They act like a bunch of people whose payment consisted of a case of spring water, tictacs, and dinner at the local Applebee's. (And they were overpaid.)

Music? Consists mostly of noodling on a portable Yamaha keyboard. A groggy-from-the-vet cat on a piano would create a more coherent and compelling score than this.

ANYONE with a decent video camera could come up with a better movie than this. If you gave ME six hours to come up with the script, clothing and props, and to decorate a set in my brother's garage, I could come up with a better movie than this. A movie about paint drying on a ladder would be a more entertaining and watchable movie than this. Those student films where someone points a camera at a boring couple in a dimly lit kitchen who go through their daily routine while barely speaking for 8 hours are better films than this.

This is barely a movie. It barely moves what little plot it has forward, and it almost qualifies as an avant garde experience. The most annoying thing about it was that you felt that IT felt that it was doing SOMETHING. There were people talking. There were things happening. There was a part of the film where the movie was really insisting that something exciting was happening, but nothing really happened. Watching this movie is like having a dream where your mind is slightly out of sync with what you're experiencing. Where you feel compelled to speak or do something, but you can't quite get yourself to do it. All of the elements are there, but it's as if your mind is filled with mush. You can't interact with the world within your dream, except abstractly. That's what this movie feels like. I would warn anyone with schizotypal disorder or who has a problem processing reality to steer clear of this film. it will fuck you up severely.


As far as MST3K featured movies are concerned, the worst one I've ever seen was Invasion of the Neptune Men. Imagine a Japanese superhero movie like Prince of Space, but drained of all of the charm and excitement. With a hero made of cardboard, a bunch of kid sidekicks whose voices all sound like nails on a chalkboard, boring villains who have no real plans other than "invading earth" for no discernable reason, and with an extended sequence consisting of gray spaceships flying around in a gray sky for approximately 230,000 minutes. Oh, and it also has real footage of the WW2 bombing of Japan integrated into the spaceship scenes, so you get to see some real life death and horror with your matinee kiddie movie. Just skip the hell out of this and watch Prince of Space instead. I'd watch it ten times before I'd ever agree to watch Invasion of the Neptune Men again.

I find it an enjoyable ep of mst but yeah Neptune Men is remarkably bad.
One time I was watching it with some online nerds and when it got to the endless spaceship part I explained that this was so pointless, long, and even with the riffs not _that_ funny that I was going to the gas station up the road to get a beer, came back with the beer and it was still going and they were like "holy shit you weren't fucking around."

 

[BrunoMattei]

Any of those parody movies like Epic Movie or Jack and Jill.

 

[Strange Wilderness]

Epic Movie or Disaster Movie, because there's nothing more pathetic than a comedy with no jokes. Ballistic Ecks vs Sever also comes close being not only incredibly dull but somehow managing to have a plot that's both stupidly simple and confusing at the same time.

Or for a more recent so bad it's funny, Robin Hood. The opening scene where they're running around using longbows as if they're playing Call of Duty is unintentional comedy gold.

Any of those parody movies like Epic Movie or Jack and Jill.

Jack and Jill wasn't a parody. It was a real movie

My favorite part of those movies is how every scene in them is set up and plays out the same. Every scene has the main characters walk into a scene and a someone will come out doing a poor impersonation of a character from another movie, they will either introduce themselves as the character or someone will say their name. The scene then makes the most shallow obvious jokes before the character gets beaten up or killed and the main characters move on. Every single scene.

The only humor comes from laughing at how terrible and cheap everything looks or something unintentional. One of the few things I chuckle at was a scene where Batman is evacuating the city and he's pulling a roiling suitcase behind him, for some reason its so dumb I find it amusing. When you read a summary of those movies online they're hilarious because what you're reading is so absurd you can't help but laugh at a guy saying to the Princess from Enchanted "look its Kung fu Panda" when a guy in a cheap panda fursuit walks on screen.

 

[Trombonista]

I think Howard the Duck could give them a run for their money in the appalling adaptation stakes. What's upsetting is that it could have been great - the comic is this bizarro social satire. The film pretty much only adapts part of the basic premise, i.e. that it's about this anthropomorphic duck who finds himself trapped on Earth.

The plot is a mess. The antagonist shows up two thirds of the way through - I don't mean that's when his identity is revealed, I mean that's literally the first time anything happens other than Howard farting around Cleveland. The antagonist, who is some sort of demon beast who has pretty much nothing to do with anything prior to his appearance, is handily defeated using a deus ex machina laser thing. The dialogue is lazy, the script often contradicts itself, the jokes aren't funny and I don't care about the characters. When the hero is a talking duck and the villain is a space demon, that's almost an achievement. Even the characters don't care about the characters - Howard seems unable to decide whether he likes or hates the space demon guy. Nobody ever seems to be in any real peril, because the peril is so ineptly portrayed. The script, in short, is unbelievably lazy and screams "first draft, fuck I didn't realise the deadline was tomorrow."

Then there's the special effects. George Lucas was the producer, and was told that he'd be best off doing it as an animated film (this was 1986, before the advent of decent CGI). Lucas disagreed, and decided to instead portray Howard as a horrible, clumsy, creepy animatronic midget-in-a-suit creature with eerily human eyes. With these limitations, the makers decided he should be a master of kung fu (or "quack fu" HA HA BECAUSE HE IS A DUCK). The resulting fight scenes aren't even so bad they're funny. It's the only time I've wished for more CGI in a Lucas film.

I actually got this on DVD for £1 because I'd heard it was terrible, and thought it had to be so bad it's good. It isn't. There's no charm, no camp, no unintentional hilarity. It's just shit. You know how on the DVD case they like to quote reviews? You know how sometimes they mangle the hell out of the reviews in order to make them sound good? This one couldn't even do that. The best it could do was a couple of sentences praising the visual effects.

Basically, if you want a good Howard the Duck film, watch the stinger at the end of Guardians of the Galaxy, because those five seconds are more entertaining than the entirety of the Howard movie.

Lucas himself disowned Howard the Duck.

 

[Karl der Grosse]

Arthur 2: On The Rocks. Arthur was itself a bad movie, but it had a certain charm to it and John Gielgud was superb. Arthur 2 had an absolutely nonsensical plot, zero charm, and an almost complete absence of John Gielgud. Instead you had Arthur getting sober and Liza Minelli's complete lack of acting ability. It was just bad, bad, bad.