Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[wenttobermuda]

He fights a hip, flatbill millennial Batman that hordes all the fertile zoomer baes.

I'm not a fan of cape shit, but I'd watch a Lucas movie.

I'd rather see something like Don Quixote. We see Lucas's fertile poonaner quest from his fantastic, schizo pov, and also through the eyes of his Sancho Panza: Goldoar.

Instead of Dulcinae there is Zoomerbae--he sees all 4-24 year olds as her. Rather than tilt at windmills (or giants) he duels graybeards, etc.

There should also be a gay rape scene, where a flatbill wigger noisily tops him. This scene would make up approximately half of the film's running time, and be presented in slow motion. We could omit this scene if it would detract from the whimsical nature of the film.

I shall begin working on the screen play, as my substance abuse permits.

 

[Wernology]

Since he's on a "making memes of himself" kick, I grabbed the last 3 short videos then threw all of his stupid self-memes in at the end.

 

[Stilgar of Troon]

Since he's on a "making memes of himself" kick, I grabbed the last 3 short videos then threw all of his stupid self-memes in at the end.

Every time he starts with the "#agephobia" thing, I have to laugh...
Yeah, it's your age, Lucas; not your lack of personal hygiene, poor continence, lack of prospects, mental illness, disgusting table manners... No, it's definitely the age thing...

Spoiler: Semi-related - mild powerlevel

I'm older than he is and my wife is 30. It definitely isn't the age that's hindering him.

 

[Da Dude123]

His age is part of it. While there are 18-21 year old women who are willing to date 40 year old men, they are in the minority. 23-24 year olds may be more open to it. Even if Lucas would be a completely different person with a good job, nice looks, good personality, etc. Many women that age would still say "you're too old" or they would worry about what their parents would think, especially the ones who still rely on their parents for support like tuition or housing (which is a lot of them).

However, with Lucas, he is such a shit person in every aspect from looks to hygiene, to personality and beyond. His age is the least of his problems. So he is already trying to get a very small population of women just on his age alone. And of course, the ones who would be open to dating a man his age would not touch him with a ten foot pole because he is a crazy, fat, smelly, ragman who goes Reeee all the time.

Lucas would have a hard time meeting any woman. A woman in his age range? File under "not gonna happen".

Every time he starts with the "#agephobia" thing, I have to laugh...
Yeah, it's your age, Lucas; not your lack of personal hygiene, poor continence, lack of prospects, mental illness, disgusting table manners... No, it's definitely the age thing...

Spoiler: Semi-related - mild powerlevel

I'm older than he is and my wife is 30. It definitely isn't the age that's hindering him.

 

[mothman96]

I mean Lucas barely understands anything that isn't fuck or eat. But at 10,000 followers and 3000 friends 90% of which (and that's being generous) are probably there to Chronicle his retardation, it's easy to understand how he gets these weird delusions of grandiour.

But you figure he would have learned by now how little people who follow him respond, but lucas strikes me as the any attention is good attention type of guy.

Heck, there's a Lucas video where he says he's got more followers than Jesus.

 

[WonderWino]

I'm not a fan of cape shit, but I'd watch a Lucas movie.

I'd rather see something like Don Quixote. We see Lucas's fertile poonaner quest from his fantastic, schizo pov, and also through the eyes of his Sancho Panza: Goldoar.

Instead of Dulcinae there is Zoomerbae--he sees all 4-24 year olds as her. Rather than tilt at windmills (or giants) he duels graybeards, etc.

There should also be a gay rape scene, where a flatbill wigger noisily tops him. This scene would make up approximately half of the film's running time, and be presented in slow motion. We could omit this scene if it would detract from the whimsical nature of the film.

I shall begin working on the screen play, as my substance abuse permits.

....that sounds like a twisted crossover between the wern and the second south park game. only instead of the player seeing their parents fucking and it being traumatic and sending lucas on his quest it would be a 40 year old flatbill fucking a zoomer bae in his fartbox and then giving him a good old fashioned prison style raping when he tried to steal the girl as he so often claims he will

come to think of it that sounds a bit like how he claimed he had all those friends who used to have orgies and exclude him, to sit in a different room and suffer for lack of poonanner

someone needs to get in touch with comedy central about this. I can see the trilogy pack on a steam sale already:

- south park: the stick of truth
- south park: the fractured but whole
- south park: the court of the telomere king: an EBT RPG

you just know there is an inevitable scene with lucas squealing like a pig while the flatbill gives him a good dicking down and a bunch of hillbilly republicans play banjos in the background

Heck, there's a Lucas video where he says he's got more followers than Jesus.

.....because statements like that went over so well for the beatles

 

[Rafal Gan Ganowicz]

Heck, there's a Lucas video where he says he's got more followers than Jesus.

Interestly, apropos of this , Mark David Chapman is coming up for parole soon. Optimistic.

 

[Brian Butterfield]

Lucas being 40 is the same as Chris being 38 - the least of their problems.

 

[PrincessKidana]

Praise whatever deity you believe in, Lucas has FINALLY got a new shirt. My boyfriend and I are giving it twenty minutes until his sweat and dirt permanently discolors it.


He also shows, yet again, that he doesn't understand ACAB and that he believes that women are little more than property, meant to be given or bartered for. He is truly a pathetic example of a "man".

 

[teleméres69]

Lucas once again showing his virtue signalling is purely for sex, despite how much he tries to insist he's not after it like the other guys. Nobody cares about your baby dick Lucas, getting a young 'acab' woman is not in the cards for you

Praise whatever deity you believe in, Lucas has FINALLY got a new shirt. My boyfriend and I are giving it twenty minutes until his sweat and dirt permanently discolors it.
View attachment 1391419

He also shows, yet again, that he doesn't understand ACAB and that he believes that women are little more than property, meant to be given or bartered for. He is truly a pathetic example of a "man".
View attachment 1391415

 

[WonderWino]

Praise whatever deity you believe in, Lucas has FINALLY got a new shirt. My boyfriend and I are giving it twenty minutes until his sweat and dirt permanently discolors it.
View attachment 1391419

He also shows, yet again, that he doesn't understand ACAB and that he believes that women are little more than property, meant to be given or bartered for. He is truly a pathetic example of a "man".
View attachment 1391415

1. That shirt is hideous. Of course he would wear some piss yellow shirt that looks like its from 1991

2. Something about that pic reminds me of the casa bonita south park episode where cartman didn't understand that dressing nice doesn't mean he is nice. Lucas thinks hes dressed to the nines here and i'll bet he has the same thought process as cartman does in that regard. 'I dress to the nines so i'm a great guy and nice and all the zoomers should want me because of it!'

3. That expression is exactly the kind of dumbass smug look he is going to make to the wrong person some day and get his ass kicked as a result. It shows just how much of an ignorant, passive aggressive twit he is that he does shit like that

 

[wenttobermuda]

Nobody cares about your baby dick Lucas, getting a young 'acab' woman is not in the cards for you

Did you say "baby dick"? Is it time for us to marvel at Lucas's dick pics again? Its been at least a few pages.

Some of the cruelest Wernologists care about his baby dick, right? It's funny.

Spoiler: Dic lol

Raise your hands for dick.

Spoiler: Ok

Lucas can't control his bladder
Lucas has no jizz to splatter
Crows about his baby batter
Impotent, pants pissing satyr
Has no bae, but if he had her
There would be the sorry matter:
Just too little dick to stab her.

 

[PrincessKidana]

Did you say "baby dick"? Is it time for us to marvel at Lucas's dick pics again? Its been at least a few pages.

Some of the cruelest Wernologists care about his baby dick, right? It's funny.

Spoiler: Dic lol

Raise your hands for dick.
View attachment 1391612

Spoiler: Ok

View attachment 1391613

Lucas can't control his bladder
Lucas has no jizz to splatter
Crows about his baby batter
Impotent, pants pissing satyr
Has no bae, but if he had her
There would be the sorry matter:
Just too little dick to stab her.

He has such a small fucking dick, he couldn't even boop the clit. He really just has an oversized clit and hairy nuts. Fuck, he is repulsive in every fucking way.

 

[VoidFace]

Did you say "baby dick"? Is it time for us to marvel at Lucas's dick pics again? Its been at least a few pages.

Some of the cruelest Wernologists care about his baby dick, right? It's funny.

Spoiler: Dic lol

Raise your hands for dick.
View attachment 1391612

Spoiler: Ok

View attachment 1391613

Lucas can't control his bladder
Lucas has no jizz to splatter
Crows about his baby batter
Impotent, pants pissing satyr
Has no bae, but if he had her
There would be the sorry matter:
Just too little dick to stab her.

Lucas is so small that even if he lost weight to get some of that out of the way, he'd STILL have a tiny dick.

 

[PrincessKidana]

Lucas is so small that even if he lost weight to get some of that out of the way, he'd STILL have a tiny dick.

He probably hasn't seen his dick in over a decade.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

Did you say "baby dick"? Is it time for us to marvel at Lucas's dick pics again? Its been at least a few pages.

Some of the cruelest Wernologists care about his baby dick, right? It's funny.

Spoiler: Dic lol

Raise your hands for dick.
View attachment 1391612

Spoiler: Ok

View attachment 1391613

Lucas can't control his bladder
Lucas has no jizz to splatter
Crows about his baby batter
Impotent, pants pissing satyr
Has no bae, but if he had her
There would be the sorry matter:
Just too little dick to stab her.

Jesus, that put me off my breakfast. I'm sure all the hot teenage girls are just gagging for it*, now they've seen those photos.

* bleach and a shotgun

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

You guys are all bigots.

He's got ARMS, right?

Does he need to make that disgusting "hand-going-thru-hole" gesture again to show you?

Geeeeeez.







Ps (In that bottom right pic, what is that odd semicircular "shadow" under the head? I know this invites closer inspection of lil' Wern than we're comfortable with, but that suuuuuure looks like a scab or lesion. And here I was, about to say that the worst thing about his baby dick wasn't the size, it was how crusty it looked. And how you can smell it through the screen, like shrimp left out in the summer sun for a week. But if that's a MRSA sore, and I suspect it is......All bets are off.)

 

[mothman96]

Hey Lucas, if you think we are going to forget you pee your pants and need a diaper, Nope we won't. We also won't forget you pee in the kitchen sink.

 

[Wernology]

Hey Lucas, if you think we are going to forget you pee your pants and need a diaper, Nope we won't. We also won't forget you pee in the kitchen sink.

Given his size, do you think he had to stand on a chair to not just piss all over the front of the counter or did he just sit in the sink while he did it?

Also, if you're a hot college chick and not staying in a hurtles homeless shelter, you're somehow a hypocrite.

 

[Stilgar of Troon]

Given his size, do you think he had to stand on a chair to not just piss all over the front of the counter or did he just sit in the sink while he did it?

Also, if you're a hot college chick and not staying in a hurtles homeless shelter, you're somehow a hypocrite.

View attachment 1391957

I genuinely don't understand how he gets hypocrite from "college chicks" not staying in a homeless shelter... So they shouldn't dorm or live at home with their folks, then? Mental illness is fucking rad.