Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[King Daddy Telomerase]

He should qualify for a new Obiden phone with the tugboat, even if hes "lost" his current one? You're really disappointing me here Lucas...

Lucas can get an Obamaphone and replacements at any time. He doesn't want to because he doesn't know how to use them, or some stupid reason he said. Spokane libraries are open now too, so if Lucas wanted to post his usual stupid shit online, he would be.

I theorize Lucas may finally be realizing that posting his insanity online only serves to harm him now. His latest Instagram account hid any mention of his real name. He flashed all of his BidenBux in one of his last videos just to watch it get stolen... again. I'm probably giving Lucas too much credit here, though. Optimistic ratings.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Im glad he's not posting anymore.

Looks like Bitch Boy finally gave up on his 18-24 quest.

We all KNEW it wasn't in the cards... its good to see Lucas admit that, too.

He was getting so much attention with his vids, he would've found some girl sooner or later.

Lucky for her he gave up.

He fails at everything.

 

[Da Dude123]

I am thinking that someone has tightened the screws on Lucas. I did not think he had that muçh contact anymore with social services or his handlers. But with what is going on, maybe he does?

I am wondering if his payee or one of his handlers has threatened him by telling him to stop his online behavior and posting his bullshit? By sending the men with butterfly nets to capture him and take him to the funny farm. Or, possibly sink his tugboat.

Lucas is stupid enough to believe he could not be held accountable by the courts or social services or whoever if they are unable to contact him. He couldn't be more wrong. It is his responsibility to stay in contact and in compliance with them. Him not having a phone, is not an acceptable excuse.

I have a real hard time believing he is doing this out of his own wishes or that he came to the realization that he is just making a fool of himself and ultimately damaging his life and reputation. Lucas is an lolcow through and through. He really has all the cow qualities. It is very hard to believe that he has all of a sudden voluntarily decided to quit being a sped online.

 

[holeinthedark]

I think he's trying to process what's all happening to him and doesn't know what type of lie to tell so he's just constructing his story and won't come back until he has a rehearsed story (that he will later believe in time)

 

[TurdFondler]

I think he's on meds, albeit different ones than before.

 

[Krathnami]

I think he's on meds, albeit different ones than before.

He's stated in the past that he will not take meds if they can't make him

 

[WonderWino]

I think he's on meds, albeit different ones than before.

The problem with that theory is lucas has a history of refusing medication when he's left to his own devices and not outright forced into compliance, such as when he's in the nuthouse. Whatever is going on with him it doesn't come off as medication related. Plus he hasn't stopped with his attraction signs so it isn't him giving up on his quest.

That said I would have thought it was phone related but he's already long since passed his tugboat day and didn't get a new phone as he always does in such situations, which makes me agree that there has to be something else going on. Perhaps he was warned by his wrangler about something he said or did online, or, as others have pointed out, maybe he's got it in his head that if he tossed his phone and ignores his court related responsibilities they'll somehow go away. It certainly comes off as the kind of thing he'd be stupid enough to think. On that note, didn't he have a court date on the 11th of may? If so the date fits. He may have even been warned by his wrangler to keep his mouth shut prior to his court date for his own good, or by whatever community service member they might have deal with him in such situations. Not that he is good at following such advice, but if they put a little fear into him about it then I can see him grudgingly complying with it, at least for awhile

If he hasn't reappeared online after his next payday some outside force is definitely involved, forcing him to keep his mouth shut online

 

[TurdFondler]

A lot of these questions could be answered if we knew where exactly he was staying. I know he's typically not compliant with meds but he did get arrested, possibly but in a psych hold or something and maybe they're making him medicate?

It's a longshot but definitely not typical behavior for him and he was pretty manic before, up all night yelling and stuff.

 

[ClownBrew]

There was a time once before when the cowhands gagged him. Lasted a few weeks. It was when he was caught shit-talking other residents on Youtube at a group-home he was using-- right before they found him the first fartbox.

 

[IceQueen]

Lucas strikes me as the type that thrives on attention, but he has to carefully control the circumstances of that attention and how he is perceived because of insecurities and shortcomings (real or imagined). perhaps something is out of his control right now that prevents him from sperging out in videos - maybe he finally got socked in the jaw and it's painful to speak or he's missing teeth or something obvious that would raise questions and is avoiding that look. perhaps he has an alternate outlet like some chat program or something that's eating his attention at the moment.

i doubt he would "lay low" voluntarily. since he's still posting screeds and seemingly has the same goals and ideas of how to accomplish them, he's likely unable to use IG or FB for whatever reason, and has gone back to posting hand written missives in random areas. perhaps he got robbed or is avoiding court dates by losing his phone or keeping it turned off and out of contact hoping things go away (which will net him a bench warrant). hard to say precisely.

It does pose an interesting question, though. I’ve never really been able to decide if I think Lucas would rather the only people talking about him be saying the most negative things possible, OR if he would rather be not talked about at all. I know he absolutely hates us, but would he truly want us to stop if it meant that NO ONE would be talking about or acknowledging him? I truly don’t know.

 

[Wernology]

Am I the only one who thinks those signs are not the products of Lucas Werner. Honestly, they seem super fake to me.

Yes.

It's obviously his handwriting and writing style, which you'd know if you'd looked at any of the other numerous ones posted here over the years.

Late to the party dumbass aside, youtube comment notifications today reminded me that one of my favorite days in Wern History was December 27, 2020 for the sole fact that he spent the day posting all these videos with increasing amounts of ego and "If you want to talk to me you better pay me $50-$100 per hour, because I'm in demand and people love me!", got catfished within 3 days of being catfished to LA, and was most notably the night I sent him a bag of frozen catfish and he had an entire meltdown in the hallway of the downtown Spokane Motel 6.

Bonus: The one time I DID actually vaguely troll him, admitted that pretty openly because sending him an anonymous bag of frozen catfish was fucking hilarious and also entirely harmless, is the ONE TIME he refused to believe it was me--and he still believes I'm the one who catfished him to LA, which (as a reminder), I'm not and had nothing to do with and the person who did it admitted to it here.

I have yet to be arrested by the Spokane PD for having catfish left at his motel door.

I have a real hard time believing he is doing this out of his own wishes or that he came to the realization that he is just making a fool of himself and ultimately damaging his life and reputation. Lucas is an lolcow through and through. He really has all the cow qualities. It is very hard to believe that he has all of a sudden voluntarily decided to quit being a sped online.

Yeah, if he were voluntarily doing it because he realized he was just humiliating himself, we wouldn't be seeing him posting his equally humiliating attraction signs around Spokane.

 

[ThomasAudley]

A lot of these questions could be answered if we knew where exactly he was staying. I know he's typically not compliant with meds but he did get arrested, possibly but in a psych hold or something and maybe they're making him medicate?

It's a longshot but definitely not typical behavior for him and he was pretty manic before, up all night yelling and stuff.

He was cited and released I believe, not arrested.

 

[LeeLoo]

The field of Wernology seems to be bursting with theories about Fatty’s absence, however I think my fellow Wernologists will agree on three main points:
1. Fatty is incredibly stupid.
2. Fatty is incredibly delusional.
3. Fatty is incredibly narcissistic.

There is no way he woke up one day and realized what he was doing was a huge embarrassment, pointless, or totally wrong. He isn’t capable of that type of thinking or self-reflection. Nor would he ever think any of his thoughts or ideas were wrong.

This is the guy who breggs about losing 200 pounds, even though he’s still morbidly obese. The guy who claims to be “cute and handsome” but who looks (and smells) like a misshapen bag of smashed assholes.

This is the guy who is certain there IS a party; a place where all the QueefyBaes are waiting. He just needs an invite or secret password.

His absence has to be imposed by his payee or the courts. As much as I hate it, I do revel in the idea that this horrid creature has finally been held somewhat accountable, and in the most hurtful way possible.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

I eagerly await Lucas resurfacing.

 

[Wernology]

While looking for the video in which Lucas hilariously describes how plant reproduction works entirely incorrectly, I remembered this gem in which he talks about choice and free will being illusions, with everything being dictated by nature and without realizing that he essentially spent an entire video explaining that the reason he's single and nobody wants to fuck him or date him isn't because of bigotry or them choosing not to, it's because nature (the driving will behind his...theory...here) has pre-determined him to be a genetic dead end.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

While looking for the video in which Lucas hilariously describes how plant reproduction works entirely incorrectly, I remembered this gem in which he talks about choice and free will being illusions, with everything being dictated by nature and without realizing that he essentially spent an entire video explaining that the reason he's single and nobody wants to fuck him or date him isn't because of bigotry or them choosing not to, it's because nature (the driving will behind his...theory...here) has pre-determined him to be a genetic dead end.

Has has quite the queer lisp there.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

Has has quite the queer lisp there.

His head has such a uniquely unflattering shape, too.

It's like, it's bulbous, but kind of squished in the middle, to the point where his ears bend in a kind of concave way.

Its rather like a gourd or large squash.

He has enormous, pendulous jowels, doughy cheeks, a piggish nose, (not to a Jake Alley extent, obviously) an excess of fat around his ocular cavities, and of course, the piece de resistance, psycho-killer eyes.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

His head has such a uniquely unflattering shape, too.

It's like, it's bulbous, but kind of squished in the middle, to the point where his ears bend in a kind of concave way.

Its rather like a gourd or large squash.

He has enormous, pendulous jowels, doughy cheeks, a piggish nose, (not to a Jake Alley extent, obviously) an excess of fat around his ocular cavities, and of course, the piece de resistance, psycho-killer eyes.

He looks like the troll from Ernest Scared Stupid.

 

[Ghjkl63]

It took a week but I'm finally caught up

 

[Niggasaurus Rex]

I'm a little disappointed that on a stalker forum full of exceptional individuals known for going above and beyond to dox the fuck out of people, none of us can figure out why a retarded hobo who spends every waking minute of his day being as much of a public nuisance as possible, has gone silent.