11/24 Happy thanksgiving from Chris

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Why the fuck would you put a shitty, cheap, old technology stove in your rebuilt kitchen?

I didn't even realise they still sell stoves with the old coil hotplates.

I'd love one of those. We tried to find one a couple of years ago, and you can't get the flat coil type any more. Okay, I'm used to gas now and wouldn't want anything else now, but still...
 
It feels weird to have a callback to the days when he used to sell to CUTCO after years of him not mentioning them, especially considering how this is practically an unpaid shill but I highly doubt he's moonlighting as a CUTCO salesman all the same.

Saying that there's actually something endearing about him autistically endorsing cutlery and teabags over Thanksgiving. It's slightly dull but it's much more wholesome and realaxed than him talking about how he's going to bring down the Farms to avenge the death of some random tran like ADF has been doing.
 
Thanksgiving is best spent with friends and family, so why sit around a table when you can unbuckle those trousers and eat spam from a hoarder's oven instead?

Hi there, M. Ornutz here with a special one-time only offer of not one, not two, but three undercooked dishes by culinary genius and professional chef Christine Chandler. These dishes are guaranteed to make your mouth water at the sight of the turkey ham, cut by our very own Christine with love and impatience, served with a side of fake cheese and slow-cooked noodles and a fine glass of aged navy to wash it all down.

Remember folks, this offer won't last long, so buy buy buy!

Chris could have at least made his own macaroni in the microwave. All it takes is boiled noodles, cheddar, salt, milk, and butter. Far better than Kraft is.

....Actually what the hell am I saying, he'd burn the house down before the microwave even dings.
 
I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't make any of it and it was all donated.
Chris probably went to Rocky for lego money, and she just gave that to him to go away.

Yeah, Which is pretty sad
It would be a lot sadder if you did not know about the road that has led them both to this point.
Chris has been given a chance to be friends with so many people, yet all he does is act like a pompous lunatic around most of them.
 
Kraft Mac n Cheese? Processed Turkey-Ham? Jesus, he probably could've gotten better food going to a homeless shelter

It's sad that's literally true. Most homeless shelters make real turkey and ham and lots of it, with all the fixings and dessert.

Most towns also have at least one restaurant that does something similar. I remember a diner that used to have a thanksgiving dinner for a quarter, for the down and out and cheap bastards alike.
 
The Silence of the Hams

Oh wait

The_silence_of_the_hams_poster.jpg
Chicken Griddle.
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Chris tried, and it don't look half bad
Turkey ham and Kraft mac and cheese? I'd rather eat food from the 7-11.

I mean, I know that the art of the Thanksgiving turkey is a skill not really being passed down to current generations like it should, and Charb is extremely lazy, but they could get a proper cooked turkey from somewhere. Even grocery stores sell that.

Real mac and cheese is a thing of southern pride. Way to betray your local heritage, Chris.

The potatoes look OK, though. Probably instant, though, so nevermind.
 
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