FIGGIN 14 Oct 19 - Phil bought a set of "body armor" - Declares Portland a Warzone

Monika H. said:
Here's the photos in question.
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He reminds me of this one total badass I saw in a movie. Let me see if I can find a picture of him. Ah, here we go, a pic of him and his crew.

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Bullshit.
Vest and a plate costs like $200 at a minimum, anything decent will run you $400-$800 or more for the really nice shit.
He either is wearing some cheapo surplus garbage, an airsoft vest, or he's actually full on retarded and spent hundreds of dollars on a plate carrier when no one on earth is aware he exists, much less gonna shoot at him.

The hilarious thing is that if he has the real deal, that's actually worse. He's starving himself for cosplay.
 
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Haesindang Park said:
I was expecting you to say "Power armor is for pussies!" in this thread due to your username. lol
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You need hydraulics to be power armor so a normal vest is okay. Besides, gimmick posting is kinda frowned upon around here.

Still funny as shit though. And oh God that DNF joke was SO out of date before the game was even released.
 
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PowersOfPowers said:
For those not up on body armor/guns, IIIA is what most police used to wear/wear and it will stop most pistol rounds. It will not stop any rifles rounds, particularly those from an AR. Even if he was fighting NATSEES in a warzone, and even if those were in fact IIIA plates and not an airsoft carrier with foam/cardboard "plates", the vast majority of rounds fired at him in this hypothetical made up situation would zip right through that.
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small correction: III and IIIA are different levels of protection. IIA and IIIA are commonly used soft armor by police because they're very good against most small arms and lightweight enough to give good mobility. II and III are "hard" armor that have ceramics, steel, or similar backing material as the primary means of stopping a bullet, while the kevlar is relegated to spall protection. the US Army's IOTV is IIIA by itself without any plates, and often SAPI/ESAPI and a IV plate is used. it is also very difficult to be highly mobile in, which is why mobility-focused units often use plate carriers that thin down protection to the barest levels.
Dr. Boe Jangles Esq. said:
Vest and a plate costs like $200 at a minimum, anything decent will run you $400-$800 or more for the really nice shit.
He either is wearing some cheapo surplus garbage, an airsoft vest, or he's actually full on exceptional and spent hundreds of dollars on a plate carrier when no one on earth is aware he exists, much less gonna shoot at him.

The hilarious thing is that if he has the real deal, that's actually worse. He's starving himself for cosplay.
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genuine 3M OTV/IOTV armor is $1k/unit in 1000 unit quantities and sold as complete "kits" requiring only minor modifications. an FLC or whatever is worn over it or purchased along with it.

Phil has an older model Condor Outdoors Compact Plate Carrier, or a knock off clone, with poorly adjusted shoulder straps. you can tell from the molded breathing panel on the back, and the "double d ring" retainers on the shoulders. i think it's one of the older models because the fold under method for plate retention has given way to weak side installation around 2010 or so. a plate carrier is not body armor of any kind by itself and is used purely to (as the name implies) carry plates. it's also meant to be worn over your clothing, because MOLLE is pointless if you have no gear on it. the only way it's 18lbs is if he's smuggling a couple pizzas in there. a single level III plate of the smallest size is around 5-6 lbs of steel. something of appropriate size for a man of Phil's size would need two 10 lbs plates purely for the dimensions to cover the body significantly. that's in addition to the PC itself, which is probably 5 lbs.

the CO CPC is around $50 or less MSRP. since it's "old tech" in body armor land, it's often found for $30-40 if you shop around. this is because it is a plate carrier - not body armor. it has zero bullet resistant properties by itself.
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this is 3M IOTV from an NSN ordering page (used by military suppliers to sell to the government). note that this is genuine body armor and not a plate carrier:
1571205098818.png
 
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Thumb Butler said:
If any of his Antifa "buddies" happens to find this thread, this is what he looks like under the mall goth shit.

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Oh god he looks like a pig in BDSM gear being fucked by a black guy from behind telling him to squeal and oink like a pig through that gag. I'm just going to assume Phil has a BDSM fetish and that he's a bottom.
 
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Haesindang Park said:
I'm just going to assume Phil has a BDSM fetish and that he's a bottom.
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Phil has a BDSM fetish, but not sexually (if that even makes sense). He is attracted to leather, bondage and whips because these symbolize power, which he yearns for. He doesn't want to fuck anyone because his brain has not matured enough to understand sex.
 
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Positron said:
He doesn't want to fuck anyone because his brain has not matured enough to understand sex.
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Isn't it true Phil lore that the one time he actually came close to something even remotely sexual he fearshit himself?

I know he was handcuffed to a radiator and totally thought he was being 'punished' but in reality it was to shut him up.
 
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Club Sandwich said:
small correction: III and IIIA are different levels of protection. IIA and IIIA are commonly used soft armor by police because they're very good against most small arms and lightweight enough to give good mobility. II and III are "hard" armor that have ceramics, steel, or similar backing material as the primary means of stopping a bullet, while the kevlar is relegated to spall protection. the US Army's IOTV is IIIA by itself without any plates, and often SAPI/ESAPI and a IV plate is used. it is also very difficult to be highly mobile in, which is why mobility-focused units often use plate carriers that thin down protection to the barest levels.

genuine 3M OTV/IOTV armor is $1k/unit in 1000 unit quantities and sold as complete "kits" requiring only minor modifications. an FLC or whatever is worn over it or purchased along with it.

Phil has an older model Condor Outdoors Compact Plate Carrier, or a knock off clone, with poorly adjusted shoulder straps. you can tell from the molded breathing panel on the back, and the "double d ring" retainers on the shoulders. i think it's one of the older models because the fold under method for plate retention has given way to weak side installation around 2010 or so. a plate carrier is not body armor of any kind by itself and is used purely to (as the name implies) carry plates. it's also meant to be worn over your clothing, because MOLLE is pointless if you have no gear on it. the only way it's 18lbs is if he's smuggling a couple pizzas in there. a single level III plate of the smallest size is around 5-6 lbs of steel. something of appropriate size for a man of Phil's size would need two 10 lbs plates purely for the dimensions to cover the body significantly. that's in addition to the PC itself, which is probably 5 lbs.

the CO CPC is around $50 or less MSRP. since it's "old tech" in body armor land, it's often found for $30-40 if you shop around.
View attachment 972984

this is 3M IOTV from an NSN ordering page (used by military suppliers to sell to the government). note that this is genuine body armor and not a plate carrier:
View attachment 972983
Click to expand...
There’s a chance he got it used. From either a seller at a gun show or eBay. The price he put down for that would be consistent.
MasterDisaster said:
Isn't it true Phil lore that the one time he actually came close to something even remotely sexual he fearshit himself?

I know he was handcuffed to a radiator and totally thought he was being 'punished' but in reality it was to shut him up.
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He and Maria had sex at least once. He started crying like halfway into it.
 
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The Reaper said:
Anti-Fascist looks to be Anti-Fashion as well. I've never understood how anyone, regardless of political ideology, could turn protesting and these street fights into a fashion show. "I've got to look cool with all my gear," says the man with no intention making use of it.

Makes me sad that the punk rock lifestyle I found fascinating when I was young has turned into this.
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Social media has made it so that nothing is truly counter-cultural any more. Just yesterday, I went to the record store and the guy at the counter had no eyebrows and "eat shit" tattooed where his eyebrows would be. Those are the sort of lengths you have to go to be counter-cultural now. Walking around in pseudo-military gear calling for the total abolition of government doesn't even get a second glance.
 
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Positron said:
Phil has a BDSM fetish, but not sexually (if that even makes sense). He is attracted to leather, bondage and whips because these symbolize power, which he yearns for. He doesn't want to fuck anyone because his brain has not matured enough to understand sex.
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I think there’s also an element of overcompensation to it. He knows it doesn’t exactly look badass to cry during sex, so he thinks by skipping straight to the kinky stuff, everyone will assume he’s the sexiest sexer who ever sexed.
 
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