Alcoholism Support Thread - Down the hatch

[Manwithamask2]

I have an addictive personality. Its great if you can substitute booze with a couple of joints or shrooms, then give all that shit up. That's great i am jelaous of you. Hell even porn can take you for a ride. To me the main issue with me was boredom, loneliness, isolation and self pity. Today i drink coffee like a madman and smoke cigarettes (that's substitution for you baby). The thing is how can you open yourself up, how can you go on an dating app and get a date. How can you not be lonely. How can you get that human touch that makes you feel like a human. It's not alla about quittin the booze and bad habits, but you need to be human again. TBH i struggle with that to this day.

 

[Second Alter Ego]

Buy some GABA and L-Tyrosine. Drink electrolytes. Take a different route home from work, avoid the liquor store.

I did get GABA after reading your post and some research papers, but I've done a lot of thinking and concluded I don't want to stop drinking. Not that I shouldn't stop, just being honest about my own motives and shit. I have wanted to stop in the past and tried very hard to ensure I would succeed, and currently there is simply no underlying urge to get better like I used to have. I don't do anything to stop myself or discourage it like dumping my bottles or trying to cut back. It consumes my mind literally every minute I have to abstain, and I do not have any equivalent crutch I can lean on to deal with stress. The thought of stopping drinking fills me with dread because I can't fucking deal with anything without it.
So maybe I'll come back at some point when I've changed my mind and actually regret what I'm doing.
Sorry for shitting up the thread and being negative in general. That does not help anyone.

 

[ASCHQ]

I used to sip a glass of red wine most every night before bed. Now I drink about 6-12oz of 70 proof a couple times a week as a workout motivator. Nothing else plants me in the gym without me getting bored and leaving. To myself, this isn't a recipe for addiction, but my friends and family say otherwise. Only red flag is a day or two afterwards I start to randomly smell it.

TLDR My question is this: What was (or should have been) your cut-off point? or How can I tell it isn't helping anymore?

 

[666NASTYFUCKINGFREAK666]

Drank today after two and a half weeks sober unfortunately. Good thing is I only bought a fifth, got 7 shots deep then immediately vomited it out, and I only exceeded my daily calories by about 180 not including whatever I vomited out.

 

[Overwritten Tapes]

I did get GABA after reading your post and some research papers, but I've done a lot of thinking and concluded I don't want to stop drinking. Not that I shouldn't stop, just being honest about my own motives and shit. I have wanted to stop in the past and tried very hard to ensure I would succeed, and currently there is simply no underlying urge to get better like I used to have. I don't do anything to stop myself or discourage it like dumping my bottles or trying to cut back. It consumes my mind literally every minute I have to abstain, and I do not have any equivalent crutch I can lean on to deal with stress. The thought of stopping drinking fills me with dread because I can't fucking deal with anything without it.
So maybe I'll come back at some point when I've changed my mind and actually regret what I'm doing.
Sorry for shitting up the thread and being negative in general. That does not help anyone.

Up to you. Every day lost is a day you'll never get back.

 

[Nigger Respecter]

I did get GABA after reading your post and some research papers, but I've done a lot of thinking and concluded I don't want to stop drinking. Not that I shouldn't stop, just being honest about my own motives and shit. I have wanted to stop in the past and tried very hard to ensure I would succeed, and currently there is simply no underlying urge to get better like I used to have. I don't do anything to stop myself or discourage it like dumping my bottles or trying to cut back. It consumes my mind literally every minute I have to abstain, and I do not have any equivalent crutch I can lean on to deal with stress. The thought of stopping drinking fills me with dread because I can't fucking deal with anything without it.
So maybe I'll come back at some point when I've changed my mind and actually regret what I'm doing.
Sorry for shitting up the thread and being negative in general. That does not help anyone.

Yeah I remember being like this too. Then it changed. Good luck

 

[Burger Kong]

TLDR My question is this: What was (or should have been) your cut-off point? or How can I tell it isn't helping anymore?

I spent years regularly getting black out drunk at night which looking back was already pretty bad. But at least at that point I got drunk, and had time to sober up in the morning before drinking again at night.

I feel a real turning point for the worse was when I started drinking in the morning. I wake up from a blackout, see a glass of whiskey I poured out, drink it because it's there. Now it's not just a thing you do to relax at night it's a full throttle booze cruise night and day and before you know you it wake up a week or two later with a severe case of withdrawals and you don't remember what you've done.

That's a real "oh shit I'm an alcoholic" moment when you realize you aren't getting hangovers anymore, you're getting withdrawals.

 

[dick brain]

TLDR My question is this: What was (or should have been) your cut-off point? or How can I tell it isn't helping anymore?

I had to lose everything.

I had a dumb gay life growing up and I had to swallow my feelings and soldier on in order to escape it, alcohol helped me do that. But then my existence became contingent upon my ability to soldier on, and my ability to soldier on became contingent on 1) alcohol and 2) suppressing my feelings. So I became completely unwilling to acknowledge that there was anything wrong with me, because unpacking that carried the risk of falling apart, which would impede my ability to soldier on, which would put me out on the street or back with my dysfunctional family. Inevitably that's exactly what happened anyway, I just didn't get to choose when or how. Only when I had nothing left to lose was I able to really introspect and be honest with myself and accept that I have a lot of baggage to sort out. Maybe if I bit the bullet and addressed those things earlier, maybe I would have still lost everything, maybe I wouldn't have, who's to say. But by neglecting it I guaranteed it.

Face your demons before they come for you.

 

[666NASTYFUCKINGFREAK666]

Drank today after two and a half weeks sober unfortunately. Good thing is I only bought a fifth, got 7 shots deep then immediately vomited it out, and I only exceeded my daily calories by about 180 not including whatever I vomited out.

Got to thinking but after I woke up I immediately realized how sluggish and disgusting I felt so hopefully that’s a good reminder for another month.

 

[Your Girlfriend's Dad]

I did get GABA after reading your post and some research papers, but I've done a lot of thinking and concluded I don't want to stop drinking. Not that I shouldn't stop, just being honest about my own motives and shit. I have wanted to stop in the past and tried very hard to ensure I would succeed, and currently there is simply no underlying urge to get better like I used to have. I don't do anything to stop myself or discourage it like dumping my bottles or trying to cut back. It consumes my mind literally every minute I have to abstain, and I do not have any equivalent crutch I can lean on to deal with stress. The thought of stopping drinking fills me with dread because I can't fucking deal with anything without it.
So maybe I'll come back at some point when I've changed my mind and actually regret what I'm doing.
Sorry for shitting up the thread and being negative in general. That does not help anyone.

Don't apologize. The thread is here for this reason.

That being said, if the conclusion you came to is to keep drinking, you've come to the wrong conclusion.

Those withdrawal symptoms are severe. They will only get worse. They'll get to a point where you won't be able to get off without an Ativan drip in the hospital.

Refer to Nick Rekeita. Pull up. You can and will be that guy if you continue to go down this path.

 

[Second Alter Ego]

Don't apologize. The thread is here for this reason.

That being said, if the conclusion you came to is to keep drinking, you've come to the wrong conclusion.

Those withdrawal symptoms are severe. They will only get worse. They'll get to a point where you won't be able to get off without an Ativan drip in the hospital.

Refer to Nick Rekeita. Pull up. You can and will be that guy if you continue to go down this path.

Yeah but it's fine because I'm a piece of shit and I deserve it lol

 

[pyrogon]

I don't know if this advice is of any use for others. But you guys should look into Kava. I was a hopeless alcoholic and couldn't quit. Drank to the point of DT's and shakes. Kava messes with those GABA receptors without giving your brain that reward circuit. It tastes like dirt and makes your tongue numb. It sucks to drink but it gives your brain what it wants and the bad experience of drinking it causes a negative feedback circuit. I attribute my sobriety to kava usage to curb the urges. If you're already an alcoholic you're doing extreme harm to your body. Kava isn't good for you but it's significantly less toxic. It's worth trying.

 

[Jarl Varg]

Started 3 new medications in the past month, and tried to drink tonight. It's 95 degrees on my back patio, shit air quality, and I felt it immediately. Stomach started burning on 1st beer, started puking till dry heaving on beer 4. Shutting it down, water time!

 

[The Token Ethnic]

I’ve had an on-and-off relationship with alcohol. I didn’t really start drinking heavily until my late 20s or early 30s. During the week, I usually avoid alcohol, but once Friday and Saturday nights roll around, I’d work my way through half a handle of vodka mixed with diet soda or some high-ABV beers. Whenever life got tough—due to work stress, family problems, or relationship issues, such as my ex passing away—it gave me the perfect excuse to let off steam, since I tend to internalize everything, which only makes things worse.

Yesterday, I really fucked up. I work remotely and thought I could handle drinking during work like I used to. But I’m not in my 20s anymore, and I got sloppy drunk on some IPAs and followed that with vodka and diet soda. I blacked out and have no idea how I managed to fool my supervisor, but I was told to log off around noon. I’m also house-sitting, so it was especially embarrassing to let myself get that out of control when I was trusted to take care of someone else’s place. I know I need to stop drinking and just leave it behind. I’ve been considering CBD/THC gummies to help me ease off alcohol, though I’ve never been much of a fan of weed. Now I’m dreading going back to work on Monday, worried about a write-up or verbal warning, even though I still have my login access and wasn’t fired... yet.

Drinking has lost all its appeal—it feels like a chore now. The hangover from yesterday is only just fading. My uncle passed away recently from alcohol-related illnesses and was homeless. I don’t want to end up like that. I desperately want to avoid such a grim outcome. I genuinely wish the best for everyone dealing with this, and I appreciate the chance to share my thoughts here.

 

[pyrogon]

I’ve had an on-and-off relationship with alcohol. I didn’t really start drinking heavily until my late 20s or early 30s. During the week, I usually avoid alcohol, but once Friday and Saturday nights roll around, I’d work my way through half a handle of vodka mixed with diet soda or some high-ABV beers. Whenever life got tough—due to work stress, family problems, or relationship issues, such as my ex passing away—it gave me the perfect excuse to let off steam, since I tend to internalize everything, which only makes things worse.

Yesterday, I really fucked up. I work remotely and thought I could handle drinking during work like I used to. But I’m not in my 20s anymore, and I got sloppy drunk on some IPAs and followed that with vodka and diet soda. I blacked out and have no idea how I managed to fool my supervisor, but I was told to log off around noon. I’m also house-sitting, so it was especially embarrassing to let myself get that out of control when I was trusted to take care of someone else’s place. I know I need to stop drinking and just leave it behind. I’ve been considering CBD/THC gummies to help me ease off alcohol, though I’ve never been much of a fan of weed. Now I’m dreading going back to work on Monday, worried about a write-up or verbal warning, even though I still have my login access and wasn’t fired... yet.

Drinking has lost all its appeal—it feels like a chore now. The hangover from yesterday is only just fading. My uncle passed away recently from alcohol-related illnesses and was homeless. I don’t want to end up like that. I desperately want to avoid such a grim outcome. I genuinely wish the best for everyone dealing with this, and I appreciate the chance to share my thoughts here.

Just be careful with CBD and THC usage. THC is a productivity killer. But ultimately if you had to choose one or the other THC is much better.

 

[Vibromatic Heart Bed]

I used to sip a glass of red wine most every night before bed. Now I drink about 6-12oz of 70 proof a couple times a week as a workout motivator. Nothing else plants me in the gym without me getting bored and leaving. To myself, this isn't a recipe for addiction, but my friends and family say otherwise. Only red flag is a day or two afterwards I start to randomly smell it.

TLDR My question is this: What was (or should have been) your cut-off point? or How can I tell it isn't helping anymore?

I used to drink as a workout motivator, but it was more for social anxiety reasons. it helped me loosen up and make friends at the gym. It was great for a while until I started acting retarded, as in hitting on married people and taking dumb risks with weights. I injured my back going for a ridiculous deadlift PR and I was laughing the whole time. that was the wakeup call for me. I've stopped going to the gym cause of the pain and embarrassment. trying to get back into it but it's hard.
Mixing alcohol with hobbies is just not a good idea. You shouldn't have to drink to enjoy the little things in life. that should've been the cut-off point, when you can't enjoy the activity (or in my case, make friends and weights) without it.

 

[Jerk Sausage]

I’ve had an on-and-off relationship with alcohol. I didn’t really start drinking heavily until my late 20s or early 30s. During the week, I usually avoid alcohol, but once Friday and Saturday nights roll around, I’d work my way through half a handle of vodka mixed with diet soda or some high-ABV beers. Whenever life got tough—due to work stress, family problems, or relationship issues, such as my ex passing away—it gave me the perfect excuse to let off steam, since I tend to internalize everything, which only makes things worse.

Was a similar progression for me; the older I got, the more I drank to deal with work and life stress. It let me "enjoy" an evening without having to learn a method to solve my obsessive thinking patterns in a healthy way. Booze would just drown out the noise.

For your work thing; one time, during the early Covid months when everyone was working from home, I was day drinking and became incoherent. I had a big client call where I had to explain some technical things and could not string a single sentence together. I have no idea what our clients thought, but the only coworker on the call with me knew what was going on, and DMed me saying I sounded very clearly drunk, but he didn't share with anyone else. 2 years ago I had a small spell of disappearing on random mornings to deal with hangovers, and lied and said I had a lot of dental appointments or whatever bullshit sounded convincing enough.

Nothing became of any of it, and now I don't drink, so I don't have to lie. If I'm at this company after this year, I'll probably come clean eventually and share that I had years of struggling with alcohol. There were days I seriously worried people and the bullshit never sits right with anyone. I don't really have advice on how to handle it in your situation, but since you blacked out and aren't sure what happened, honesty might be a good trick.

Whatever you do, good luck, hope you don't get fired as well.

 

[dick brain]

2 years.

 

[ASCHQ]

Mixing alcohol with hobbies is just not a good idea. You shouldn't have to drink to enjoy the little things in life. that should've been the cut-off point, when you can't enjoy the activity (or in my case, make friends and weights) without it.

I never enjoyed working out but I suppose you're right, last week I decided to go sober for the summer and see where it takes me. It's already been unpleasant but I have to keep myself in check because I'm not public enough for anyone else to.

 

[Town Drunk]

Picked this name as a self depricating joke, but spent a decade plus getting hammered every night. Never hit the rock bottom where I got a DUI, or where I drank in the mornings, or needed to drink during the day. or where my family fell apart, but I was addicted. I think that's part of why I didn't stop until recently.

I managed to quit a few monthes ago, and man the first week was rough trying to sleep. I'd tried to quit before, but insomnia is a bastard. Powered through though, what is one shitty week in your over all life?

Not going to be a popular opinion, but once I stopped drinking every night for a while, I could enjoy doing it once a week. I didn't quit it all together. Because I do like the feeling. It's just more under my control now. It doesn't control me.

Your experince may be diffrent, and maybe you never want to ever touch a drop again.

That's fine. But part of what turned my away from quitting for a while was the thought that it would always have a hold on me. That I could never drink again like a normal person who wasn't an addict.

This has been my TED talk. thank you for listening.