Amberlynn Reid - 600 pound pathological liar and U-Haul lesbian moving in with her next live-in maid/nurse/girlfriend.

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

That was the stuff of nightmares, thanks for that fucking image, @FickleFuck.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

She claimed her hymen was still intact and that the surgeon "repaired" it when she had her emergency surgery.

The fact that Amber felt the need to say this shows she’s really fucked in the head. I think Amber’s relationships don’t end with lesbian bed death, they just start with it.

Yet it's one of the first thing these MtFs ask, like it's some fetish. "How often a week should I douche?!" Unless it's different with a stinkditch, the answer is never. You're basically making your vagina gargle with bacteria for no reason.

It is definitely different with stinkditches.

Stinkditches are wounds so they are entirely different from vaginas when it comes to care and cleaning. I mean I don’t have to stick dildos up my vagina x3 a day to keep it from closing shut.

 

[Yellow Monday]

Being massively obese makes it harder for doctors to use a speculum to examine the vagina and cervix. I’m guessing that’s what the doctor was talking around. I’ve even heard that some speculums will buckle under the weight of someone Amber’s size.

I would suggest vaginismus, which is involuntary contraction of the vaginal walls. Once that happens, it would keep even The Rock out. Doesn’t matter if you are experienced or a virgin - once it kicks in, there’s no going further. If it keeps happening, they end up sedating/anaesthetising you to be able to get anywhere.

 

[Hentai-4-Senpai]

I am positive that the reason they had a hard time with her cooch issues is because of all the fat she carries in her gut. That shit is pressing down and making it damn near impossible for a vag doc to do shit down there. Her muscles are garbage and she's probably all prolapsed or will be, especially now that her uterus was yeeted. Older women that have their shit yoinked out and since their muscle tone is about gone too, things will end up hanging out of there and they have to get corrective surgery to put things back up where they belong. Imagine the day Hambutt goes to wipe and there's a penis-like length of intestine busting out her dainty hole.

That was the stuff of nightmares, thanks for that fucking image, @FickleFuck.

I blame @FickleFuck and @Situation Type Deal Gorl

Spoiler: Image

Last chance

Spoiler: Are you sure?

 

[Insulin reid]

Yeah hymens can't grow back, that's a myth but i doubt ALR could reach her vagina to check

Oh no, ambers has not only held on into her 20s, but has been stitched back up before. The doctor sewed it back or whatever after her surgery. Bless them for restoring our gorls honor as a fair lezbean maiden who only does clit stuff.
Amber loves larping as a young girl that wishes to be wed and has her whole life ahead of her.

I am positive that the reason they had a hard time with her cooch issues is because of all the fat she carries in her gut. That shit is pressing down and making it damn near impossible for a vag doc to do shit down there. Her muscles are garbage and she's probably all prolapsed or will be, especially now that her uterus was yeeted.

Her weight up top must be making her essentially leak urine just a little bit all day too. Everything just pressing on stuff below, she must smell like straight up piss if you get close enough to her. Theres no amount of showering that will stop her bladder from being just slightly leaky forever.

I would suggest vaginismus, which is involuntary contraction of the vaginal walls. Once that happens, it would keep even The Rock out. Doesn’t matter if you are experienced or a virgin - once it kicks in, there’s no going further. If it keeps happening, they end up sedating/anaesthetising you to be able to get anywhere.

I wonder if obsessively brushing one's teeth will help with that.

 

[Agoodpotroast]

“I’m writing a novel that is plotted around that topic”

Writer-Lynn, future NYT bestselling author and expert Laygo architect.

View attachment 3000459

Yeah, that's gonna be a hard pass for a multitude of reasons. Although it would be mildly interesting to read what Amber's misguided and ignorant interpretation of what a BDSM relationship would be

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

With sentences like “she put her fingers into my period hole.”

"It felt sho gud. Like, shoooo guuuud, you guise. 10/10 recommend."

 

[FromTheRiverToTheBeeze]

Destiny was answering questions on Snapchat or similar. These can be found on Faxx Machines community tab. They were all "This or That" questions.

One of the questions was "Jade or Becky?"

Weirdly, she didn't answer "Who's Jade?"

 

[Yellow Monday]

I wonder if obsessively brushing one's teeth will help with that.

That would depend on her gag reflex. So, possibly …

 

[Free the Pedos]

I would suggest vaginismus, which is involuntary contraction of the vaginal walls. Once that happens, it would keep even The Rock out. Doesn’t matter if you are experienced or a virgin - once it kicks in, there’s no going further. If it keeps happening, they end up sedating/anaesthetising you to be able to get anywhere.

Vaginismus would’ve shown up before though. She certainly wasn’t complaining about it when Density was fingering her on the regular.

 

[Princess Peetz]

There is no way in hell she didn't know what she was doing with those cow-printed overalls.

Cow print is trendy with younger women. Amber likes to think she’s a skinny, trendy pre-teen. I really don’t think so.

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

What's the excuse du jour?

The fact that Amber felt the need to say this shows she’s really fucked in the head. I think Amber’s relationships don’t end with lesbian bed death, they just start with it.

I think if she were honest, she'd classify herself as asexual.

I would suggest vaginismus, which is involuntary contraction of the vaginal walls. Once that happens, it would keep even The Rock out. Doesn’t matter if you are experienced or a virgin - once it kicks in, there’s no going further. If it keeps happening, they end up sedating/anaesthetising you to be able to get anywhere.

I was going to suggest this as well. It makes sense based on what she's told us.

I blame @FickleFuck and @Situation Type Deal Gorl

Go fuck yourself, my dude. LOL

Her weight up top must be making her essentially leak urine just a little bit all day too. Everything just pressing on stuff below, she must smell like straight up piss if you get close enough to her. Theres no amount of showering that will stop her bladder from being just slightly leaky forever.

I bet she smells like the men's bathroom at the end of a football game.

Vaginismus would’ve shown up before though. She certainly wasn’t complaining about it when Density was fingering her on the regular.

But was Density actually doing that, I wonder. There's no reason for her to be yammering about not liking penetrative sex if she were already used to it from the Density Era.

 

[jerkop jamboree]

I am positive that the reason they had a hard time with her cooch issues is because of all the fat she carries in her gut. That shit is pressing down and making it damn near impossible for a vag doc to do shit down there. Her muscles are garbage and she's probably all prolapsed or will be, especially now that her uterus was yeeted. Older women that have their shit yoinked out and since their muscle tone is about gone too, things will end up hanging out of there and they have to get corrective surgery to put things back up where they belong. Imagine the day Hambutt goes to wipe and there's a penis-like length of intestine busting out her dainty hole.

the terms “dainty period hole”/“dainty hole” will never fail to trigger my gag reflex.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

What's the excuse du jour?


View attachment 3003223

She already made her excuse. Wasn't she going to stay with a friend over the weekend? And she's already told us how she always gains weight when she spends time with friends...

 

[Situation Type Deal Gorl]

She already made her excuse. Wasn't she going to stay with a friend over the weekend? And she's already told us how she always gains weight when she spends time with friends...

Right, rahht - swoleeen from being in the car for 20 minutes or whatever.

 

[FromTheRiverToTheBeeze]

View attachment 3003223

132.6 lbs above starting weight.

 

[Turd Fergusson]

She already made her excuse. Wasn't she going to stay with a friend over the weekend? And she's already told us how she always gains weight when she spends time with friends...

I do not buy her statement that she is spending the weekend with friends.

1. Amber does not have friends. All her friends have been Becky's or her other girlfriends. So, who could it be? Eric and Rickie possibly but we would have mentioned them, so I say NO. Therefore, they are Jade's friends. This is strange since Jade is not from the area and to have to stay overnight means that they are not local to Lexington. Otherwise either drive back after the evening or Uber if you are intending to drink.

2. Amber and Jade are roommates the same way Becky and Amber were roommates. Amber abhors being left alone in the flat and she will tag along even if Jade has a hot date. She went to the retirement home with Destiny even if she was not working there just not to be left alone. If Jade intent to stay the night with someone, Amber has no problem staying in the next room as long as she is not alone.

 

[w4vy_gr4vy]

I don't think for a second that Amber actually went anywhere, and I'm sure no one else believes her either. "Staying with friends" is Amberspeak for "I sat at home bingeeeeeen on ramen and whatever the Uber Eats guy delivered", but she's got to keep up the pretence of being a popular dainty gorl about town with a busy social life.

 

[StrawberryDouche]

She already made her excuse. Wasn't she going to stay with a friend over the weekend? And she's already told us how she always gains weight when she spends time with friends...

No no no. She gains weight from riding in the car. She's like one of those plants that absorbs water and potato chips through the air.

 

[Autistic Asparagus]

Right, rahht - swoleeen from being in the car for 20 minutes or whatever.

Maybe if she could actually fit into a car properly, she would not be SWOLLLLEEEEN