- Joined
- Jun 23, 2020
Amber has spent so much time living in delusion, cutting corners, making excuses, finding ways to hide what she’s really doing and bullshitting everyone (including herself) and the craziest thing to me is that she’s doing it for absolutely no reason. She could have lost her current excess weight at least twice by now if she had just made reasonable changes a decade ago, but that’s not how she thinks. One of her biggest issues is all or nothing thinking. She thinks that she either has to live in excess or live with nothing at all. She absolutely cannot comprehend the concept of moderation or small steps. She uses that cognitive distortion to sabotage herself so that she’s never too uncomfortable.
She either has to eat until she can’t move or starve herself. She takes everything she does to some kind of extreme and gets obsessed with things like shopping, going to the same restaurants repeatedly, fixating on things like the scratch art, the stupid Tiktok organization shit she’s been doing and so on and so on. She lives in a constant state of transferring her weird repetitive compulsive behavior into anything and everything as long as it isn’t challenging.
And that leads me to my second point:
Other than being a retard, she is challenged by NOTHING and NO ONE. She doesn’t have to work or worry about paying her bills. She doesn’t even put effort into her videos and the money just rolls in every month. She surrounds herself with only people who will tolerate her bullshit and that’s why Becky isn’t around anymore. The minute she even made a slight attempt at putting her foot down, Amber hit the fuckin roof. They made that clear in the breakup stream. Becky was tired of living Amber’s lifestyle and while she isn’t exactly reaching for the stars now that she left, she’s at least able to if that’s what she wants. That could have never happened if she stayed with Amber.
There has never been any kind of rock bottom for Big Ham and until something drastic comes along to deviate her trajectory, she’s going to keep doing the absolute bare minimum in every aspect of her life. As long as she keeps finding grifters who will gas her up and enable her in exchange for somewhere to live, she will keep going. The only other disruptions I can see besides that would be some major health event or her channel dying. Cancer wasn’t enough to wake her up so as far as health events, death is probably the only thing that can stop her.
And I know you guys keep talking about her channel dying but I still don’t see it. She’s steadily getting 50-60k views per upload, which is more than enough to keep maintaining her lifestyle as long as she uploads regularly. If Jade really does work, she’s in an even better position because now she’s getting the YouTube money and she has a second income that wasn’t there before. She’s doing just fine. She’s not going broke and obviously people are retarded enough to keep coming back for the same video over and over again with no end in sight.
So yeah, she doesn’t want to lose weight and she thinks she’s the shit, but why wouldn’t she? Regardless of how we perceive her life, she thinks she’s winning. Dodging the cancer bullet, finding Jade after Becky left, still being able to pull views and attention… all of those things have emboldened her even more. She sees herself as untouchable. In her lizard brain, the fact that she can still walk- even if barely-is a win. Being able to keep a “girlfriend” is a win. Every question she receives on Instagram, every comment she receives on YouTube is winning no matter the context. She’s comfortable and her audience keeps her that way. She constantly evades any real consequences for anything so why should she change? As far as she’s concerned, this is how she’s going to coast through the rest of her life. I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t feel the same way if I was in her position.
Like I said, there has been no rock bottom for her. Mine or yours might just be the ground. Amber’s is the core of the fuckin earth and she’s not there yet. She’s not even close.
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