I couldn’t spend even 5 mins in the presence, let alone live with, someone who is such an annoying twat like her. Jade needs either a medal or serious psychiatric testing voluntarily live in this world.
I seriously think Jade is of low iq, the same as the rest of the past girlfriends. The way she seems emotionally immature (like 13 year old big al) too, suggests this imo. I mean you would have to have some similarities re; hygiene and lack thereof, to be able to put up with someone like Amber? Kissing, sucking her neck? Smelling her through those leggings? Living with that cackling laugh, her narcissism, having to do everything for her because she cannot pull her weight due to her having to well…. Pull all of that weight. You have to REALLY love someone and see good things in them to be their full time caregiver. Another 20lbs and big al will be back to pissing and shitting on mats in the living room floor. Are you ready for the bed- bound era Jadey?
Well, fam, I started working through Hamber's last day of vlogmas, but I'm going to pull a Hamber and quit. Just could not take her slack-jawed amazement at every. Single. Cheap;. Tacky. Thing.
The only things to know are:
- she sent a bunch of tacky shit to PiinkSparkles, who I have heard of but never watched. I popped over there, and now I know where Hamber has lifted her some of her latest terrible acting/speaking/cackling/etc.
- she got the same thing from PS, so at least they were evenly matched
- it feels like this is just both of them filling up the other's Goodwill boxes
- watching her hanging her mouth open over every tacky thing is like landing the same fish over and over and over on 2x speed. Lulz.
- once again, shows off that 3.9 GPA by saying "reason" for "resin" and "reef" for "wreath". There may be more, but those are specific ones I heard
- Hamber, for all of her haute couture ways, doesn't know Salvador Ferragama when even I know that brand, so certainly does not appreciate the earrings MG,W got her.
- said earrings are the only ones worth shit in her vast collection of shtuper kyute old lady earrings
- these retards continue to pound "baby" into the ground
- the end is her showing off her third grade Playdoh creations, and then smushing all of it together with her fat fucking hands and sausage fingers. Says she's looking forward to 2023. I'm looking forward to her attaining 600+ pounds in the new year, just as she managed at the gaycare.
I skimmed the comments, and the complaints about the overuse of "baby" are starting to increase significantly.
Maybe a few years ago this would’ve been a hell frozen over situation type deal but I’m just “so Jade got her to finish a challenge for once, lol. She’s still not making big coin like in previous years since her views are total crap”
That's the impression I got. No desire whatsoever to view that shitshow.
I see a bunch of ambabies in the comments of the exchange vid talking about how the picture thing with Twonk was just so charming and sweet and made them cry. Ugh. Such hard work plucking that image off one of her ever-changing terrible intros and having some service slap it on a board!
Those same people are falling over themselves to congratulate her on finishing something. When even your supporters are amazed that you did the bare minimum for your job, that's fucking loserville territory.
The betting is already starting as to whether MG,W will be around at this point in 2023. Hell, the way Hamber's channel is tanking, she might not be around herself.
A pair of adult women falling over with laughter whilst wearing plastic children’s masks was so fucking bizarre. Mortifying even.
And the wheezy laughter was even worse in the newest video. Puke.
Who the fuck is this PinkSparkles character and why the absolute fuck would she consent to being associated with Fat AL? Is she some kind of troll too? That’s the only person I can think of that would do that.
I’m also in the camp that believes Jade has a feeding fetish and age regression fetish. She loves this gigantic adult baby being completely helpless, struggling with even the most basic of tasks and being 100% reliant on her to live. She probably gains more from that then she does from the grifting. Absolute fucking garbage human being, I can’t wait until she finally fucks the hell off.
Personally, I don’t care much for Christmas myself, it doesn’t have a whole lot of meaning to me. However, it’s nice to have a day when the family gets together and does something nice. Isn’t Amberlynn’s version of Christmas just fucking sad? And that’s what it’s been for years. Sitting in that apartment with her current caretaker and buying a bunch of useless junk. Absolutely devoid of anything beyond consumerism. No friends, no family, no religious or any other special meaning, nothing. But then again, she doesn’t care about anything other than food and consoooming, so I guess she likes it that way. Again, fucking sad.
Anyway, hope you’re all having happy holidays, gorls. Godspeed to poor Null whose ass earned another stupid DDOS attack for Christmas.
Amber was more excited for the candy in Piinksparkles' gift exchange than she was for the $170 Ferragamo earrings her girlfriend gave her. Classic Amber.
"Faline wants me to lose weight more than I probably want to lose weight."
I mean, by definition that's obviously true, given that Amber doesn't want to lose weight. (Or at least doesn't want to put in the effort to, so same result.) But if Jade really wanted Amber to lose the weight, you'd think that she'd nix the daily Christmas gift idea and instead hand Amber a check made out to Georgetown Bariatrics, or whichever other weight loss clinic Amber's pretending to actually be interested.
With that said, these are the gifts they've purchased each other with the money Amber's meant to be saving up for surgery:
Jade's Total: $1,209.09
Amber's Total: $914.88
Combined Total: $2,123.97 for vlogmas alone, without even factoring in Christmas itself. *Prices recorded on day of vlogmas item was opened. Obvious, but: prices may have since changed, and items may have been purchased elsewhere and/or for different prices than ones listed here; this just serves as a rough estimate for around how much was spent.
Not sure how throwing away a good chunk of money (enough to make a nice dent in weight loss surgery costs) on a truckload of mass-produced plastic and polyester (but I repeat myself) garbage that will almost certainly wind up in either a landfill or a Lexington, KY Goodwill within the year is considered "creative," but I guess that's just me. And as always: it's nobody's business if you keep it to yourself. If you make it a central focus of your mind-numbingly boring videos, it's fair game.
So per usual: still boring, still fat, still spending a month's rent money on worthless crap.
I am not sure what’s left for Amber to do. She said that bariatric surgery is not certain in her usually cryptic way. It probably mean that she was told by the clinic that she needs to have both physical and psychological evaluations even before starting to look at surgery. We all know and she knows that it is not happening, so there is no point of saving money for it.
She mentioned on Instagram thar she is not ready to get married. Of course she is, but it is not in Jade’s plans. Jade has been there long enough to know that Amber is not going to change and will become more and more disabled. They are not sleeping together, they are not sleeping at the same time, and they do not have much in common. It is just a question of time before Amber annoys Jade enough before she calls it quit.
I can’t see her views getting much better after vlogmas. She tried every clickbait possible and nothing really worked. Vlogmas was probably her worst idea; it was concentrated shite that probably turned off a lot of her views. Her New Year resolutions will be a laugh, but not much else will be enjoyable in 2023.
Wow, super late and missed Vlogmas. oh darn . I swear I have a good excuse - I had to keep the entire sled dog team inside with me out of the wind. You know how hard it is to use a computer in an igloo with 10 huskies trying to lay on your keyboard, lick your monitor, and howling along to Amber's singing?
How unfortunate for Amber that she wasn’t alive, say, during the Great Depression era. She would have made some good coin as a freakshow act. Basically the same job, but back then the audience could gawk and leer and laugh in person rather than through a screen. How fun would that be! And you wouldn’t even have those pesky fatphobic reaction channels, either! Our quirky gorl surely was born in the wrong generation.
Come one, come all, to witness the Giant Gorl! A true planet sized adult toddler, alive and breathing… for now!
If Amber were alive during the Great Depression Era, she wouldn't be able to maintain her freakshow girth. Having to prioritize nutrition over taste for survival? Sugar unavailable? NO DOORDASH?! The Binge Monster(TM) would magically disappear.
Vlogmas 23 legitimately made me angry just now.
Christmas Eve, I'm tryin' ta be festive here, and now my jaw is clenched and my hands are lidurally shaking liek omg.
To quote Amber - "Kiwifarms? It is such a vile, vile area to be... For anyone to be able to look at me and say 'You're a bad person' or whatever it may be and support places like Kiwi Farms, you're nothing but hypocrite. Period."
If this stupid bitch drops dead suddenly this weekend I will happily take the credit for wishing it upon her.
She just hates that we can see her and help other people see what she is. Period.
That was her entire intent with the episode, don't spike your blood pressure over it. She's been maxing out at 46K (and that's her best video after over a week), and is doing everything she can for engagement.
Although I do have to admit that I found myself gritting my teeth a little when she bitched about the 'crazy storm' she got - with power and heat in her apartment and an entire 1/2 inch of snow on the ground. It's estimated that at least 100,000 Canuckians are still without power almost 96 hours into Snowmageddon, and I'd assume many, MANY more Burgerlandians.
In Toronto (Canada), a tree fell on a passenger train (story kept changing from the tracks, to the locomotive, to a passenger car), trapping hundreds without food, water, heat, or bathrooms until the NEXT DAY. They couldn't get emergency response vehicles to them. Out of desperation, passengers forced the traincar doors open and ran out onto the tracks into the storm (75 mile/hr wind, 10-15F temps) to seek out proper shelter.
Some people spent Christmas trying to figure out how to get out of their homes (with their doors drifted shut), and then dug out drifts the size of a truck, only to find their buried generator TOTALLY FUCKED (if the generator wasn't already fucked by a falling tree/flying debris). And they were the lucky ones, as others had their homes crushed by giants trees that were torn out by the roots. People relying on electronic medical equipment didn't have electricity, sufficient battery backups, OR any means to call for help as landline AND cellular services were down in some areas. Another thing people who don't know anyone from around the Great Lakes don't realize with these storms - FLOODING. A lot of homes built around the lakes need sump pumps. So you could lose power, lose heat, lose running water, pipes bursting, AND then worry about murky ice cold water slowly filling your basement.
And her only comments are of the wind looking 'crazy' and complaints that it's cold when she opens her door to look outside. Such an empath!
Yeah.... I really have no sympathy for her bullshit.
HOLY SHIT this gorl is EVERYTHING AMBER WANTS TO BE! It's all there! The open-mouthed suffocating fish face. The cackling. The over the top reactions to everything. The screwing up of simple words and phrases. The caterpillar eyelashes. Taste Testing fast food and trash. Consumerism and consumption. Acting like a 7 year old. A partner who seems to totally dote on her in the background. Physically, she is the opposite of Amber: a healthy body weight with one chin and massive boobs, where Amber has multiple chins, a massive body and no boobs - but again, everything Amber WANTS to be.
That's the impression I got. No desire whatsoever to view that shitshow.
I see a bunch of ambabies in the comments of the exchange vid talking about how the picture thing with Twonk was just so charming and sweet and made them cry. Ugh. Such hard work plucking that image off one of her ever-changing terrible intros and having some service slap it on a board!
Those same people are falling over themselves to congratulate her on finishing something. When even your supporters are amazed that you did the bare minimum for your job, that's fucking loserville territory.
The betting is already starting as to whether MG,W will be around at this point in 2023. Hell, the way Hamber's channel is tanking, she might not be around herself.
I found it funny that the picture she chose was when Amber was at her absolute fatest. And I don't know if it's just me, but that stupid picture ALWAYS reminds me of that time where she clickbaited suicide and enraged her audience, because her video the very next day had that annoying intro with this picture.
Oh, and with your previous comment. Don't bother trying to get her to read a thesaurus: she'd probably look at the cover and declare that she likes YA novels and not thick, heavy textbooks about dinosaurs.
Still fat. Still boring. Still not showing Jade's face. If she does propose will it be a disembodied voice off camera?
I don't get what Jade's endgame is anymore. She's wasting so much money on crap for hamber it's not the money (not that alr has any at this point). It's obviously not clout because no one gives a fuck about hamber. I don't buy this "we have all the sex in all the ways" bullshit being spewed either. Is it possible these two retards with a combined vocabulary of 10 words are actually into each other or is there another something I'm missing?...
...PS: Merry Christmas degenerates. I hope you all have a good day.
This baffles me, too, and I find myself constantly changing my opinion between this being some sort of grift/long-con, and Jade being as profoundly retarded as Amber. After seeing Jade's gingerbread house, I'm now leaning towards the latter.
I am not sure what’s left for Amber to do. She said that bariatric surgery is not certain in her usually cryptic way. It probably mean that she was told by the clinic that she needs to have both physical and psychological evaluations even before starting to look at surgery. We all know and she knows that it is not happening, so there is no point of saving money for it.
She mentioned on Instagram thar she is not ready to get married. Of course she is, but it is not in Jade’s plans. Jade has been there long enough to know that Amber is not going to change and will become more and more disabled. They are not sleeping together, they are not sleeping at the same time, and they do not have much in common. It is just a question of time before Amber annoys Jade enough before she calls it quit.
I can’t see her views getting much better after vlogmas. She tried every clickbait possible and nothing really worked. Vlogmas was probably her worst idea; it was concentrated shite that probably turned off a lot of her views. Her New Year resolutions will be a laugh, but not much else will be enjoyable in 2023.
She's not going after WLS bc she simply doesn't care about it more than she cares about eating. I'm sure the very thought of not being able to eat as much lip-smacking, eye-rolling food as she does now has zero appeal.
Plus they'll want her to lose weight before the surgery, and she is actively gaining right now. Her head's not close to there. No way is she letting go of that security blanket/life's meaning.
Plus (again), even if she did and lost, say, 200 pounds, she'd still be fat, but not "a super-special fat," and she'd have the loose skin, and she'd have to moderate her intake, maybe wouldn't have so many excuses for not exercising now and then....
I'm sure the whole endeavor just sounds hard, which might be the biggest negative in her mind.
Amber will never voluntarily lose weight, she thinks she's pretty and look! her shoulders are getting that hump again!
Amber mentioned wanting to eat Vicks Vaporub and wanting to eat one of the scented candles she got from Piinksparkles, but no one got her any wintergreen Altoids for Christmas? Slackers.
As an avid Amber watcher for nearly all her channel life, I warned in here that her doing Vlogmas 2022 is a death sentence. People hate Jade because she is just some disembodied voice that no one really can mesh with because she is some weird cow tipper. Again year on the year she loses about 35% of her audience so next year her average video views will be 38k or less.
The worst thing is looming for Amber and that is reactors are shifting to other cows. Tammy lemon is a goldmine as is Allicia Doherty and last night on Alex is Shook's lives he almost flat-out refused to go over her content. This is due to the past several weeks chatters have almost left stream because they cannot stand her and Alex is tired of her too. That is one of the biggest Amber streamers too.
The decline in Amber's footprint from other creators will mean viewers are more likely to leave her content as they have no alternative and grow bored. I think 2023 is going to be really rough for Amber as inflation and her rent will likely increase. She is still buying a shit ton of take out and she is not stopping. My prediction is still Jade is going by February and she will search for a new carer.
To be fair , PiinkSparkles from 5 years ago could sit on my face and I'd not be mad at her for it. Now she looks like a Trisha Peytus-bound mess.
Amber is fucked when Jade calls it a day and boogies. But, someone earlier suggested Jade is a low IQ near-SPED and that starts to make sense when I think about it more. Jade may be co-dependent who knows.
Amber will burst views with a drunk breakup live.
InB4 "FELINE BREAKING UP W ME? Shopping Haul" click bait title
I will say it. I will never understand why this Lardass thinks that she has a 'pretty face'. Probably average for Kentucky ( which is probably why she's still there) but she claims to be a CaLiGorLL and bitch.... we would eat her fucking alive here.
I will say it. I will never understand why this Lardass thinks that she has a 'pretty face'. Probably average for Kentucky ( which is probably why she's still there) but she claims to be a CaLiGorLL and bitch.... we would eat her fucking alive here.
She's delusional, for one. She loves to eyefuck herself and has claimed that she only pictures her mosquito tits up when she imagines herself.
People also used to say that she had a pretty face or would have a pretty face if she lost weight back in the early days when she was 300-400 pounds. She was never a looker (and never would be one- dat chin) but those people fed into her delusion.
Amber knows how much she fucked up her body. She just enjoys food too much and cannot commit to long term change to (literally) save her life.
While I'm not a member, Kicking Geese and Narc Alert's discord, downloaded the Georgetown Bariatrics information session and watch partied it after Amber mentioned sending an email for a link. Kicking Geese has shown a screen shot of the advice they give to prepare pre-appointment (pre 1st appointment that is) and Amber has done none of it. While I don't know exactly what that information session said, I have a pretty good idea. Amber already knows she'll be turned away before she even gets started, and that's why she's been gaining ever since. For the time being she's given up. Sure she'll put up some new year's resolution video to draw in the views, but even she knows she can't do it herself, and no one is going to give her that magic bullet WLS because she couldn't change her eating habits even if she could afford the surgery, and Dr Smith is very likely ruing the day he ever got involved with TLC and the Slaton's so he's not plugging to get Amber her own show...and I do believe that was her intention when she choose that clinic.
. I swear I have a good excuse - I had to keep the entire sled dog team inside with me out of the wind. You know how hard it is to use a computer in an igloo with 10 huskies trying to lay on your keyboard, lick your monitor, and howling along to Amber's singing?
