Best Zero Effort Food?

[Gimmick Account]

Walking all the way to the microwave isn't exactly zero effort. Gnaw on a big lump of smoked pork or something and there's no real need to get out of bed for days

 

[Conan O'Barbarian]

I like to keep vegetables and some kind of dip around the house for snacking. Baby carrots, celery, cucumbers, peppers, and either hummus or something with dill. No prep required.

If you want to be a pig, bagel bites. If you want to be a philistine, use the microwave instead of the oven.

 

[Akashic Retard]

Protip: use an air fryer over a microwave for bready things like pizza. Slightly more effort, far better taste. Just don't overdo it or you'll end up with a crouton.

 

[🔪Cold Steel Brand Rep🔪]

Maybe not zero effort, more like a half an effort, but Banh Mi is one of the easiest, best sandwiches to make if you don't want to slave over a huge meal, just pickled veggies and broiled pork on a bun.

 

[Sourceress]

My typical breakfast is a fruit & veggie applesauce packet and a string cheese, so that's really zero effort at all and really good. Add a pb&j sandwich or some chive and onion cream cheese on rye bread (toasted, untoasted, doesn't matter) if you don't feel like that's enough food.

That bagged salad mix with the carrot and purple cabbage in (I think they call it "American mix" at my store lmao) + dressing from a jar in the produce section of the grocery store (that's where they keep the good stuff). You can buy precooked chicken pieces or whatever to put in these days if you want.

Takes a little more effort, but pasta is so easy to make. Ragu Simply sauce + Barilla veggie spaghetti = the best and healthiest pasta you'll make in like ten minutes. If you want a protein, grab a bag of precooked meatballs at the store, microwave them and then just stick 'em in the sauce until the pasta (which you're obviously heating up on the stove lbr) is done so they stay hot.

 

[Bloitzhole]

Something that doesn't seem to be as prevalent in the states: Slice of (ciabatta) bread, pinch of salt, olive oil. Try it. Dont go soaking it.
It's legitimately great and very comforting.

Invest in a rice cooker, wash rice (5-6 minutes), add water, turn cooker on. Total time, 9 minutes. Take another 3 minutes to portion once the cooker is done. A pound of rice gives you like 5 meals and if properly refrigerated asap will stay edible for 5-6 days.
Nuke in microwave for 90 seconds with a few drops of water to reheat/steam. Add peanuts, soy sauce, sriracha, spring onions, whatever leftover veg or meat, and ideally top with a fried egg and lots of pepper.

Rice also works well in the oven with a can of tomatoes, some broth, various spices (think like a chilli - so paprika, chilli powder, cumin) and cans of beans+corn. Wash rice, throw it all in a baking dish, cover in foil, bake for 80 minutes. Super quick to prep and again, keeps well in the fridge for 5 days.

Pasta sauces, it's hard to beat Marcella Hazan's marinara. Can of tomato, nice knob of butter, half an onion, salt
cook on low for an hour covered, then uncover until reduced to desired consistency. What's that, like 3 minutes of actual work?

I have an electric steamer and it's great for zero-effort food.
Shrimp gyoza, steamed pork buns, edomame beans, pork and chive dumplings, shrimp hargow and more.
They're inexpensive and take about 15 minutes.
Dress with soy, sesame oil, maybe some black vinegar.
If you want to pretend to be healthy, throw in some bok choy or choy sum for the last couple of minutes.

Dude, making dumplings/gyoza from scratch takes forever though, especially if you can't find the wrappers and have to make them yourself

Protip: use an air fryer over a microwave for bready things like pizza. Slightly more effort, far better taste. Just don't overdo it or you'll end up with a crouton.

An Air Fryer is just a glorified convection oven. If you have a stove with an oven, it essentially already contains an "air fryer". I do agree with the sentiment though.
Just use the oven unless you're nuking food to warm it up for like 20 seconds from the fridge.

 

[Akashic Retard]

An Air Fryer is just a glorified convection oven. If you have a stove with an oven, it essentially already contains an "air fryer". I do agree with the sentiment though.
Just use the oven unless you're nuking food to warm it up for like 20 seconds from the fridge.

Yeah the difference is my oven would take 20 minutes to do this while the air fryer can do it in less than 10.

 

[Had]

My fav is doing meal prep then freezing or putting it in the fridge. It's not zero effort because you do have to make a lot of one meal and package it up, but I much prefer it to basic microwave meals and it's also a lot cheaper, tastier and healthier.

 

[SITHRAK!]

Dude, making dumplings/gyoza from scratch takes forever though, especially if you can't find the wrappers and have to make them yourself

You… don’t have these things readily available and inexpensive in your local supermarket and Chinatown?

 

[murgatroid]

Open face PB&J and cereal with milk. One of my cereal hacks is putting chocolate syrup on top of it. This is great if you have a boring cereal or want to change a cereal you like up a bit for variety.

 

[Bloitzhole]

You… don’t have these things readily available and inexpensive in your local supermarket and Chinatown?

I was as incredulous/horrified as you seem to be when I moved places and my local azn store didn't have gyoza wrappers Just a ton of starchy summer roll wrappers and a handful of viatnemese spring roll wrappers used for deep frying.

 

[Mister Uno]

Invest in a rice cooker, wash rice (5-6 minutes), add water, turn cooker on. Total time, 9 minutes. Take another 3 minutes to portion once the cooker is done. A pound of rice gives you like 5 meals and if properly refrigerated asap will stay edible for 5-6 days.
Nuke in microwave for 90 seconds with a few drops of water to reheat/steam. Add peanuts, soy sauce, sriracha, spring onions, whatever leftover veg or meat, and ideally top with a fried egg and lots of pepper.

Going to have to second this. If you want to go the extra mile, and have a Costco or anywhere with cheap frozen shrimp, fill pot with cold water, throw it in for around 10 minutes. Then boil for 5 to 7 minutes, or until it looks cooked (usually the lines are red or pink). While its boiling I'll throw in some sea salt or garlic salt for a bit of flavor. By the time you're done, the rice should be finished. Mix in the shrimp, maybe add some soy sauce as a bonus, or even an over easy egg, and you got a sweet rice bowl with shrimp and egg. Usually takes me less than 20 minutes. Rice cookers are a god send.

 

[Absurdist Laughter]

Zero effort food, spaghetti noodles, butter, smashed garlic and salt. GTG, fuck Ramen.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

Ripped lettuce, some cabbage mixed with a handfull of dark blue* Lays chips, crushed into your preferred dressing.
Makes a great side for chicken. Or just throw it into, as well.

*sourcream and onion flavour

 

[Vietnam Ron]

Banana, white bread, honey, peanut butter and mayo

 

[Eureka Coffee Grinder]

if you have cooked enough that you have a well seasoned cast iron/carbon steel pan, 2 fried eggs, i like mine over hard b/c that fried crust is amazing.

 

[Freya]

You… don’t have these things readily available and inexpensive in your local supermarket and Chinatown?

Do you fucking think everyone lives near a chinatown?

 

[TC-P]

Marry someone who loves to cook and just let them do it. When it comes your turn bang some pots and ask a lot of stupid questions till they huff come in and take over.

 

[Getwhatyou]

Expired protein bars. Cheap and all I have to do is open it.

 

[SITHRAK!]

Do you fucking think everyone lives near a chinatown?

Maybe not, but the point that was being made is that there was an incorrect assumption that I was making the bao, dumplings etc.

Marry someone who loves to cook and just let them do it. When it comes your turn bang some pots and ask a lot of stupid questions till they huff come in and take over.

It’s people like you who keep domestic violence rates high.