Best Zero Effort Food?

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SSj_Ness said:
Aside from pre-made food, or individual items serving as meals, I'd say sandwiches. They can be as simple as nut butter on bread, it literally can't get any easier.
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I was playing with the bagel setting on my toaster, but using normal bread. It just toasts one side of the bread. Then I make PB&J with the toasted parts on the inside. It's like a PB&J crunchwrap.
 
Similar to above: Let some crushed garlic sit in olive oil cold for a few minutes, heat it up, let it sit again, then serve warm over cooked pasta with a bit of parmesan and/or red pepper. It was my mom's low effort poverty meal when she was pregnant with me and I'm still a fan.
 
Rice or pasta (like macaroni or shells, not long stuff like spaghetti) are both dead easy in the microwave.

Rice: 2 cups rice, 3 cups water, 15 minutes. 1 cup rice, 2 cups water, 10 minutes. Times may vary, these work on every microwave I've ever used - 1,000-1,100 watts. if you want to be sure it doesn't burn add a little more water. If the rice is watery, microwave a couple more minutes.

I don't like rice cookers, because they only do one thing and take up space - I don't like single use gadgets. Once you get this down it works every time and is no harder than a cooker.

Pasta: 7-8 ounces (I buy seven ounce bags, the Mexican stuff because it's pre-measured and cheaper) and water until it's covered by about half an inch/a centimeter or two - err on having too much water, you can drain it. I've never gotten around to measuring how much water I use. Ten minutes for fully cooked. Eight or nine to get al dente.

Salads:
Aldi sells these salad kits that are chopped vegetables, just enough dressing, something crunchy, and something flavorful. They are about 500-700 calories for the whole thing and will keep you full forever. The southwest one is amazing, unless you don't like cilantro.
 
Heat up one of those microwave rice packets and top it with garbanzo beans cold out of the can. Sauce it with the Walmart brand chik fil a dupe sauce (“chicken sauce”)

Or top some canned pinto beans with rotel or salsa or best of all chopped onions and cilantro and scoop it up with tortilla chips.

I’m not vegan I’m just depressed.
 
When I'm feeling really lazy but want to cook, I break out the rice cooker and its steamer tray. Throw some flash frozen veg in the tray, wash the rice and get it going. Mix together once its done, and its a simple little filling veggie dish on its own, or add whatever you got (leftovers, canned beans, meat, whatever) to turn it into a fuller dish.

Shit was my go-to lunch base for years when I still had to go into the office. Easy to bulk prep for that purpose, but I just don't fill the cooker up all the way now.
 
Chugging a can of baked beans then going back to bed.


Perfect rice is easy to make. Put however much rice you want in a pan(sauce pan if you only want 2-4 portions). Put it under the tap. Swish it around a bit. Shake the pan to level the rice in the water. Form hand into a stiff claw shape and gently feel around on the top of the raw rice. If the water reaches your cuticles you're good, if it doesn't add more water, if it touches the skin pour some out. The water level is averaged across all your fingers including the thumb. Add some salt, swirl it with your fingers, put a lid on and turn the stove to high until it starts to boil. Then drop the heat so it will simmer.

Total cooking time is [whatever it say on the packaging] MINUS [time it took to reach the boiling point]. The last part will depend on the stove, after a couple of times you will have timing down to +/- 10 second and the amount of water needed exactly right. It doesn't matter how much rice you are cooking, it's still the same: water level above the rice reaching your cuticles, subtract time to boil from total cooking time. Done.

Doesn't matter what kind of rice it is, the formula is always the same. It takes 30 seconds to give it a swirl and feel out the water level, 45 seconds to go out to the kitchen and turn the heat down when your phone timer rings and that's it.

Now you have perfect rice, do whatever you want with it. Can of tuna and soy sauce on top, maybe some sambal. Sounds sad as hell but it is a guilty pleasure of mine. Or make a lot, bag it up and stuff it in the fridge. Then fry it up with some Maggi or boil stock or bullion cubes, pour that in a bowl, plunk a clump of rice in the middle with some garnish and/or appropriate lunch meat and you have [???mystery dish???]. It's a bit like instant ramen but faster, it is done when the water+bullion is boiling. Student food in a nutshell.
 
Noodle cups are tasty but I always feel kinda shitty after eating them. Madras lentil pouches are very good. A lot of foods that come in pouches like this are an easy quick meal. All you have to do is tear an inch at the top and microwave for a couple minutes. Need a spoon but bowl is optional.
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Maybe more effort than just pushing a button but it's still easy as hell. We always called them hobo dinners. You just need potatoes (preferably small ones), ground beef, baby carrots, and brocolli/cauliflower. You take all those things, sprinkle with seasoning salt and oil, wrap up in foil and pop into an oven or even better a campfire. Wait about 30 minutes and you have a great dinner. I like to top mine with A1 or Worcestershire sauce.
 
Assuming you aren't always a lazy bum who never wants to put in effort, ever, it's easy to set aside a few portions of soup whenever you make a pot. Freeze them, then defrost them at a later date when you have less time, energy, or motivation. I always keep a few meal-sized portions of soup in my freezer. I often have to travel for work, and when I get home late at night after a week on the road, it's easy to pop one in the microwave and hit defrost.
 
Shart Attack said:
Assuming you aren't always a lazy bum who never wants to put in effort, ever, it's easy to set aside a few portions of soup whenever you make a pot. Freeze them, then defrost them at a later date when you have less time, energy, or motivation. I always keep a few meal-sized portions of soup in my freezer. I often have to travel for work, and when I get home late at night after a week on the road, it's easy to pop one in the microwave and hit defrost.
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Only thing I don't like freezing in soup is potatoes. Same with frozen pot pies. It fucks up the texture and makes it weird and nasty.
 
Seriously, just shake some Old Bay onto a piece of raw salmon and broil/roast it for the best quality lazy protein. Shake some OG Mrs Dash on some pre-cut, fresh, bagged broccoli and microwave it with a lid on it for the perfect side. Legitimately delicious and incredibly lazy health food.
 
Chazuke. Recently put this in my mental list of lazy dishes. My version typically uses tumeric green tea, imitation crab, and red pepper flakes. The best rice to use is whatever you have leftover, but fresh rice is also fine. Depending on how long you want the tea steeping, this barely takes 10 minutes.
 
I take a chicken thigh or bit of fish put seasonings of choice on it put it on tinfoil and then add some veg usually green beans with a bit of butter and garlic wraped in tinfoil and roast both for however long it takes to cook. Very easy dinner after a long day.
 
AMERICA said:
Baked potatoes. So simple to make, just toss them in the oven then wait an hour and cut 'em open and enjoy with butter and sour cream. It's not quick but it's very low effort yet satisfying and also very satiating, it's also a nutrient-dense food that is very healthy as long as you don't overdo the butter/salt. I fucking love a steamy, hot baked potato.
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For lunch lately I have been microwaving a potato for 3-5 minutes, letting it sit for 5-10 minutes, and then just dumping store bought salsa over them. Very very inexpensive with the 10 lb bag of potatoes and salsa from Aldi.
 
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