Boring Lolcows who you don't get the appeal of

[ye's Official KF Burner]

I enjoy jokingly Patposting but I think Fatty Patty isn't as funny as people think he is. He does the same shit and reacts predictably. The concept of Pat is funny but the reality is pretty lame. Every so often he does something funny but every single blowup especially in the past year or so aren't anything completely shocking or interesting.

I think as far as cows in the writing community go, Chuck Wendig was far more hilarious for organic content but he fell off the relevancy wagon hard.

 

[Chris Konon]

Zoey. I got interested in her, because she was spamming stickers in random threads and seemed to me that she has a potential to provide milk, but every time I see her thread gaining multiple pages in one day it's always turning out to be a boring nothing burger.

I was reading posts from her thread from December 16th, and I kid you not, there are like 10 pages of users telling her to go to sleep, and her refusing. She got 170 pages since August and didn't do anything worth following her.

 

[Grog]

Boogie kills any interest pretty much instantly the second he is involved.
He is a punching bag that is milked for fake reactions and everything involving him is a guaranteed nothingburger. Which is why Keemstar just put him in all this manufactured drama that is forgotten after a week. Anyone who gives it even a minute of attention ends up as a sucker.

The only thing I want to know of Boogie any more is being notified when he dies so I can celebrate it.

 

[Throng of Titans]

I never got the appeal of the fat women. other than making fun of them for being fat, I don't get it.

Most of the people who follow those threads are also women who are also fat and want to feel better about themselves. The few that aren't are typically gay men.

It's the same phenomenon as autists comparing themselves to Chris and saying "at least I'm not him!"

 

[Broadside]

I don't get the fixation people have with BMJ, though he's quite funny at times, very memeworthy. I also think Chris Chan isn't that interesting, just psychotic and autistic. And I imagine 90% of his spiel now is just about being a tranny.
I can only go by the cows who's threads I've read though. I think Pixyterri is just depressing, for example.

I enjoy jokingly Patposting but I think Fatty Patty isn't as funny as people think he is. He does the same shit and reacts predictably. The concept of Pat is funny but the reality is pretty lame. Every so often he does something funny but every single blowup especially in the past year or so aren't anything completely shocking or interesting.

It's not that he's *funny*
It's just the sheer marvel that someone is this pig-headed a retard and it's not an act. He is hilarious in the sense of "I cannot believe this is a real person" I'd say. He's also utterly detestable as a person so it's especially nice seeing him inevitably rake-step as is his fate.

 

[isalaide]

Anything even tangentially Gamergate related. Not even so much the cows themselves, but the commentary from the thread regulars is so fucking dull and shrill and repetitive. It's the same shit literally year upon year.

The fat people threads. The fat people themselves contribute nothing of interest but again, the thread regulars. The threads are nothing but fat people screaming copium about how at least they aren't that fat, straight up LARPing that they aren't fat cunts themselves, and/or screeching that they would never put their penis near a fat person like their penile preferences can have any commentary value whatsoever.

I don't know if the cows are dead boring in themselves, but the culture around many of them and the content it produces is absolutely valueless. Screaming repetitively into the void.

The Fatrick thing is the same. He continues to be a fat wank but repeating this fact 50 times a day makes the thread as entertaining as Devin shouting out porn stars. It's the same level of subnormal IQ content on display.

 

[74164978231]

95-99%. Its one thing when you read about Nick getting arrested for being a retarded coke head. Its another to be glued to your screen jerking off to every single second of his shitty stream.

A lot of the users here are absolutely no different than the mindless retards consuming the modern reality slop on network/cable tv or kpop slop on social media.

 

[Broadside]

Anything even tangentially Gamergate related.

Oh we got ourselves a triggered SJW?! That's so cringe!! *MLG sound effects*

 

[Schizoid Wife]

Most of the Beauty Parlor is very boring to me, very rarely do these cows do anything that your average woman could have also very easily have done. The only one I really enjoy is Trish, even though she's slowed down a ton, she was always going through some new weird phase every week. I miss her when she was in her prime

 

[Terfmaster9000]

Rakieta, Daniel Larsen. I just don't fucking get the appeal, and it feels like 50% of CFS is posts about these two specifically.

 

[Jobama]

I agree with you on daniel larson and cyraxxx. I guess I'm not zoomer enough, but I don't get the appeal. I also agree with you 100% on the 'zoomers messing with for clout' that just doesn't appeal to me, and it comes across as disgusting manipulation of mentally ill people. that's not funny, but sad and the people doing it should get clout but should be in jail.

Yeah this newer crop of lolcows like Daniel Larson and World of Tshirts are not interesting to me at all. They’re just mentally ill people getting messed with. I can go to the rough part of any major American city and find a dozen people just like them. People putting them in the same tier as Chris Chan or Cobra are insane. The video of Daniel Larson with a bunch of frat guys was one of the gayest things I’ve ever seen.

 

[Punished Derich]

Rakieta, Daniel Larsen. I just don't fucking get the appeal,

Danny is like the one lolcow who was rarely boring, he was always doing some new shit often in a new place! It's an eclectic mix of schizocow and public freakout enjoyment that created a megastar never meant to last. Because of what Terfmaster posted, we are going on lockdown

 

[Terfmaster9000]

Danny is like the one lolcow who was rarely boring, he was always doing some new shit often in a new place! It's an eclectic mix of schizocow and public freakout enjoyment that created a megastar never meant to last. Because of what Terfmaster posted, we are going on lockdown

Yeah, I guess this particular flavor of cow is just not doing it for me. But glad so many of you are being fed well.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

I also think Chris Chan isn't that interesting, just psychotic and autistic. And I imagine 90% of his spiel now is just about being a tranny.

To be fair he wasn't that interesting to begin with. His comic was funny just as "I can't believe someone would unironically make this" and despite what others here might say, 90% of his golden age was just him sperging at trolls, as soon as the people who were good at trolling him went away he became boring as fuck. "You are nothing without me" works both ways. People here just follow him out of some retarded idea that they should since it all began with him. His only upside is that he was the first major lolcow, that's literally it. And by God I really fucking hate zoomers who follow him and give him money because they think it's funny. Chris is a narcissistic scumbag who fucked his own demented mother, there are 0 reasons to support him beyond enjoying the existence of a narcissistic scumbag who fucked his own demented mother. People who do this are arguably worse than him since he can't go back in time and unchoose to do it, but they have the luxury of deciding to not support him here and now thus letting him rot away, yet they choose not to.

 

[DoNotFeedTheSneed]

Regardless of if you view him as a cow or not (personally, I don’t), The Donald Trump thread is inherently boring because of how high profile he is. The news will inevitably cover and circlejerk over every remotely funny event long before the thread does, so you’ll never find anything new and/or of substance in there.

Tyler McVicker is another one I don’t get the appeal of at all. He’s just a run of the mill fart sniffer like any real journalist. the only difference is that he’s not writing for an actual publication

 

[Grog]

Regardless of if you view him as a cow or not (personally, I don’t), The Donald Trump thread is inherently boring because of how high profile he is. The news will inevitably cover and circlejerk over every remotely funny event long before the thread does, so you’ll never find anything new and/or of substance in there.

That thread was closed (of course, not before Null banned a bunch of people for disrupting the hugbox) because he is again a political figure and as such, by the site's own rules, not a lolcow. Posters of that thread could continue posting in A&N, if only the purpose of the thread hadn't been serving as a safe space for sufferers of Article & News Derangement Syndrome.

 

[Turquoise]

Penguinz / MoistCritikal

I'm baffled by his popularity. His airy baritone is sleep inducing. He's not funny. He's not a thinker. He doesn't have any expertise or insight. He's not even a lolcow. Might as well just put his baseball cap on the chair and press record.

15million followers!

 

[I Just Want To Read]

I tried so many times to read Keffals and Liz Fong-Jones (spelling?) threads but I'm always left with the impression that the only interesting thing about these two is their hate for Kiwifarms.

 

[Elysian]

I think Kay’s Cooking is self-aware and plays up her bad cooking skills on purpose for views so I don’t really watch her anymore. Maybe some of her early videos were authentic but you don’t go mainstream enough to appear on Harry Hill’s TV Burp without knowing that people laugh at you because your cooking is absurdly bad.

 

[Dick Johnson]

I enjoy jokingly Patposting but I think Fatty Patty isn't as funny as people think he is. He does the same shit and reacts predictably. The concept of Pat is funny but the reality is pretty lame. Every so often he does something funny but every single blowup especially in the past year or so aren't anything completely shocking or interesting.

I think as far as cows in the writing community go, Chuck Wendig was far more hilarious for organic content but he fell off the relevancy wagon hard.

Patrick is like the Law and Order or CSI of lolcows. There's going to be a familiarity to the goings-on, so you don't really need to keep up with the whole thing. If you're in the mood for that particular thing you can just pop in and read for a few pages and he'll be no-childing some trolling stalker who will no doubt enjoy prison, with a slightly different flavor than the last time you caught the thread. With the occasional no-childing of someone who tried to talk with him like he was a regular person that they had a minor disagreement with, making yet another detractor.

And amusing that you bring up Wendig, I'll check in on him from time to time hoping that he'll go back to acting like a jackass but he never does. He sticks to promoting his books, promoting other authors' books and promoting appearances. He learned his lesson about what shooting your fingers off with no filter does to your life, so he stays away from angryposting about politics and getting into internet fights. He cranks out his poorly-written novels and his poorly-written books about how to write poorly, and he hawks them. He's walking on the road not taken by Patrick, which is kind of an interesting comparison.