Boring Lolcows who you don't get the appeal of

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Most of the deathfats that were fun to keep up with are now stagnant in comparison to the glory days of 2015-2021. Occasionally ALR or Chantal will do something interesting once in a while but that's about it.

Tophiachu is a boring e-beggar with a lolcow family. All she does is ramble the most shit tier sociopolitical takes in her diarrhea covered car... over and over.
 
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Honestly, I can't really get into very many public figure or political cows unless there's something that makes them stand out from the herd. The former is basically just celebrity gossip with a focus on webcomic artists and YouTubers, while the latter are usually boring and all blend together once you've seen two or three with the same ideology (unless, of course, their ideas are completely insane; I haven't seen a Possadist cow yet, but that could be genuinely entertaining).
 
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Most of the people that have threads in this website, actually. That's why I keep to a few threads only.
But if I had to choose one that I used to think was funny and no longer is, that would be CWC. It's pretty obvious since he came out of prison that he became self-aware and is leveraging his infamy into a business, aided by a team of grifting handlers. CWC stopped being the king of lolcows and became just another e-celeb.
 
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Any has-been eceleb whose primary haters are just ex-fans. Most of the time, they’re not interesting unless you used to be a fan of them. Dick Masterson for example is not interesting at all as a lolcow and it seems like Josh only talks about him a lot because he had a personal relationship with him. I felt similar about Rekieta before all of the Coke stuff came out.
 
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I've probably said this before, but I dislike how overly politicised everything on the Internet is nowadays. An awful lot of the new lolcows can be effectively boiled down to: "This individual has political opinions different to my own! What a moron! Look at this tweet! I don't agree with his political alignment!"

For my money, the best lolcows nowadays are the ones that have an old fashioned sort of feel, like Elphaba or Dansburst Studios. The sort I can imagine having ED pages, back in the day.

I dunno, I guess maybe I've become jaded, but I kind of miss that very distinct, amused but slightly disbelieving feeling of 'This isn't real!' as you scroll through their bios and learn more about them, only to come to the disturbing and amusing conclusion that, yes, actually, this is real. This ridiculous over-the-top person - who would more than often wear 'a costume', a sort of signature outfit (Chris-chan's medallion and striped shirt, A-Log's top hat, Linkara's whole deal), further cementing their weird, almost clownish, cartoon character appeal - isn't doing a bit for a YouTube sketch or whatever, they are, in fact, a very real person, somewhere out there in the world, causing chaos and making bad life decisions.
 
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Jobama said:
Any has-been eceleb whose primary haters are just ex-fans. Most of the time, they’re not interesting unless you used to be a fan of them. Dick Masterson for example is not interesting at all as a lolcow and it seems like Josh only talks about him a lot because he had a personal relationship with him. I felt similar about Rekieta before all of the Coke stuff came out.
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Yeah, it's obvious that people here are trying to blow him out of proportions especially with that Juju retardation they post every time just to suck Null off one more time, when Masterson is just your average Californian. What I find ironic is that if I am not mistaken Null and him had a fallout after some off hand comment about age gap, while before that Dick had a stream with Onision where he basically deended him and all Null could say was "well ehm he just lets his guests to bury themselves". Ironic.
 
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Miriam Margoyles said:
I've probably said this before, but I dislike how overly politicised everything on the Internet is nowadays. An awful lot of the new lolcows can be effectively boiled down to: "This individual has political opinions different to my own! What a moron! Look at this tweet! I don't agree with his political alignment!"

For my money, the best lolcows nowadays are the ones that have an old fashioned sort of feel, like Elphaba or Dansburst Studios. The sort I can imagine having ED pages, back in the day.

I dunno, I guess maybe I've become jaded, but I kind of miss that very distinct, amused but slightly disbelieving feeling of 'This isn't real!' as you scroll through their bios and learn more about them, only to come to the disturbing and amusing conclusion that, yes, actually, this is real. This ridiculous over-the-top person - who would more than often wear 'a costume', a sort of signature outfit (Chris-chan's medallion and striped shirt, A-Log's top hat, Linkara's whole deal), further cementing their weird, almost clownish, cartoon character appeal - isn't doing a bit for a YouTube sketch or whatever, they are, in fact, a very real person, somewhere out there in the world, causing chaos and making bad life decisions.
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It is tragic that BossmanJack is in jail. He is what you crave.
 
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I don’t get the appeal of any of these newer TikTok cows - basically anyone someone like the ‘Kiwi tapes’ YouTuber will cover. Tophiachu, Nova (?), Daniel Larson, WorldofTshirts… they all just seem unfortunate. I don’t find any of their antics particularly noteworthy or amusing.
 
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you guys have basically covered everyone I'd say.

i agree, DSP is mostly just a dumb fat schlub who does boring streams. i was introduced to him via the 'how you don't play mgs' and i found it funny, but beyond that, he is boring and his a-logs are just cringe. I don't see anything about him worth raging over.

I never got the appeal of the fat women. other than making fun of them for being fat, I don't get it.

CWC starting from the tom girl saga to today is kind of boring. the jail letters were a total snooze fest, and post jail has been a big nothing burger. His arrest was interesting, but the 'I am Jesus" thing just is a snore for me.

Kiwisee said:
Bossmanjack, Cyraxx, Daniel Larson, Smartschoolboy guy and a few others that I can’t name at the top of my head. Any cow that Zoomers fuck with for clout instantly loses hilarity for me because it’s artificial milk.
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I agree with you on daniel larson and cyraxxx. I guess I'm not zoomer enough, but I don't get the appeal. I also agree with you 100% on the 'zoomers messing with for clout' that just doesn't appeal to me, and it comes across as disgusting manipulation of mentally ill people. that's not funny, but sad and the people doing it should get clout but should be in jail.

Throng of Titans said:
Meanwhile, the worst are the ones that are slowly rotting away, Jack Scalfani, Lou Gagliardi, and even DSP to some degree, they're repetitive and the threads just boil down to them doing the same thing over and over as they slowly degrade away into nothing. Wake me up when Jack has another stroke, or Lou's foot finally rots off.
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as much as I like cobes, I have to say he, sadly, falls into this camp. outside the recent stuff with jessica, he has done nothing but repeat the same patterns for years: drinking/drug himself into a slow death, eat bad food,and make long, boring live streams where he repeats himself in every single one.

Grog said:
I like seeing PPP and Warski laugh at her profoundly retarded takes.
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agree. she is very dumb, unbelievably so in some cases. seeing PPP or other commentators like bigbunjeee make fun of her is funny. Also, as someone who was never a fan of idubbz but got spammed with his stuff, I find her destroying his life funny. but otherwise, she is just yet another dumb BPD hoe.

The Man With No Name said:
Rekieta does nothing for me - I didn't care about his content when people "liked" him and I don't give a fuck about the 10 to 15 community updates he gets per week in the community updates thread. Sick of hearing BALLDO BALLDO BALLDO.
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back when people liked him I still thought he was a massive douchecock. so I like his fall from grace as a sort of Schadenfreude moment for me. I also find the coke meltdowns funny in general. before the coke arrest, he wasnt that interesting as a lolcow, and when it isnt about him suffering as a result of his own actions, he is boring as well.
 
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Mike Matei's Penis said:
How is cobra funny he just make dogshit food for 3 hours
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Cobra from 2016-2022 was one undefeated Lolcow era for me personally, within that span of time we got these highlights.
  • Cut up a sex doll after fucking it because of post nut clarity
  • Was given another sex doll that was midget sized, allegedly he also fucked it, but was also cut up that he blames on "using the wrong soap"
  • Was given a used fleshlight that he also used and cut up on camera
  • Feuded with Scrapper Steve over a one night stand that he called a "girlfriend" that he obviously didn't want after sex
  • Made said girlfriend tattoo his knuckles with the name "Ozzy" but put them on the bottom of his knuckles instead of on them
  • For her birthday, he gave her a used Pikachu blanket from Homeboy Scotty that wasn't clean
  • After giving him a blowjob, she obtained a throat infection that he didn't pay for
    • He also promised to pay for it but never did
  • After breaking up with him from the previous 2 reasons, he cried that Angry Grandpa died than her leaving him
  • It was found out that Scrapper Steve and her were planning to get together but threw Steve under the bus when Homeboy Scotty was using this to start drama
  • Quit working as a dishwasher to do his juans
  • The Gothic Dee saga
  • Being given a shirt with Warlord naked on it
  • He believed Dani Divine bought him a custom bag of Lays which were from a troll
    • Said troll made a fake Instagram of her saying "Chilling out watching KingCobraJFS after a long day modeling"
  • The infamous Avocado video
  • The infamous cooking while drunk video
  • Bragged that he got a blowjob on Facebook where his dad said, "Did we really need to know this"
  • The Ellen saga
  • The Chazz Razz saga where an equally infamous Lolcow that was a failtroll where he tried to convince Cobra that he was going to be a voice actor for a cartoon
    • "I was supposed to pay back that 50 dollars, but I got caught in the glitz and glamour of it all"
  • Warlord was his wand apprentice
    • Warlord called Cobra, "master" and it made him uncomfortable
  • The fake Donald Trump letter where he believes Cobra's magic took down ISIS
  • Evicted from his apartment while being billed 5,000 dollars in damages
    • The paint smell from doing his wands juans made all the apartments around him and above him unlivable
  • The Warlord fight
There's a lot more, but this is as autistic as it is.
 
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Boogie kills any interest pretty much instantly the second he is involved.
He is a punching bag that is milked for fake reactions and everything involving him is a guaranteed nothingburger. Which is why Keemstar just put him in all this manufactured drama that is forgotten after a week. Anyone who gives it even a minute of attention ends up as a sucker.
 
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