Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[Rogowski]

Glad I caught it when I did, almost all of the posts are already down.

 

[Fancy Carstairs]

Glad I caught it when I did, almost all of the posts are already down.

there is an insta account that has been documenting everything he uploads under the name c_k_y_5

 

[Totally Awesome]

He’s still hung up on trying to goad Knoxville and Tremaine into legally giving Bam the right to punch them in the face.
View attachment 2159612View attachment 2159613View attachment 2159614

What the fuck does he mean by "Team Water"?

 

[Big Nasty]

What the fuck does he mean by "Team Water"?

Walter?

 

[Barbarus]

Wolfe had his heart set on a Jackass cameo?

Hi I'm bam margera and this is the baby slingshot

 

[Julie Newmar]

Hi I'm bam margera and this is the baby slingshot

While that would be a super fun stunt name, we’ll also believe that “baby slingshot” is what he calls it when his boyfriend shoots rope

 

[Lucas Silva #4903141]

there is an insta account that has been documenting everything he uploads under the name c_k_y_5

Yeah, he found some posts this thread missed. Archive.md is giving me a hard time, so I'll just post screencaps.
Source: https://www.instagram.com/c_k_y_5/
To sum it up: he writes shit like a teenager, claims that he saved Novak because he spent a lot of money.
A quote that is too long to screencap (it's from a random instagram user, krys_flowers, responding to Bam's claim of saving Novak):

Man, Bam is so obsessed with Novak. And he did so many weird things to Novak over the years (sticking an antenna up his ass, jerking off on his arm and making him get a tattoo of the outline of the semen that landed on his arm). I understand friends prank each other and have their own sense of humor but wtf kinda shit is that? That isn't a friend thats someone feeling they own a person who is in the throes of addiction and they can do whatever they want to them because they think they owe them for all their help. I don't doubt that Bam cares about Novak but I think he also felt some sort of power getting to boss him around and have him under his thumb. So glad Novak got clean and doesn't have to endure that anymore.

On top of this, I attached a video from that account. Apparently, Bam deleted this very quickly, all he did was point the camera around a very messy room, with dollar bills all over the ground. Doesn't seem like a sober person's place, but alright.

 

[Bowl of Ramen]

Well, at least he’s admitting he’s gay, finally. In the most 15-year-old way possible.

 

[TrippinKahlua]

I used to really hate Novak back in the 00s due to the way Bam portrayed him on VLB.

He didn’t seem to be around for the first two Seasons but then showed up in the background visiting Terry in the Compton district of Los Angeles. He then appeared hanging out with them during Dico’s Record Store prank after Mall of America.

Then out of nowhere in the Season Four premiere, he’s seemingly now a main character, getting a paint splash screen identifying him as a “Pro Skater” (if Novak really was a skater at one point, I doubt he got above Am) and he even got a mini-skit where he said he couldn’t go to Europe because he was on probation. So he got replaced with Tim O’Connor.

Then everything was Novak. Bam called him “my partner”, painted clothes on him with body paint, got jealous when he’d walk in to find Novak bedding some random chick he macked on. Novak at the time seemed to represent Bam’s homo fantasy.

It reminds me of James Spader and Robert Downey Jr in the 80s movie Less Than Zero. Spader was the drug dealer forcing his drug addict to do humiliating acts for crack. Novak seemed to join the VLB cast for smack.

If Bam was hard for Ville Valo but couldn’t express it, why did he instead chose someone like Novak as “his partner?”

This is why Bam is disgusted when he hears about Novak’s sobriety. He’s lost his drug slave.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I used to really hate Novak back in the 00s due to the way Bam portrayed him on VLB.

He didn’t seem to be around for the first two Seasons but then showed up in the background visiting Terry in the Compton district of Los Angeles. He then appeared hanging out with them during Dico’s Record Store prank after Mall of America.

Then out of nowhere in the Season Four premiere, he’s seemingly now a main character, getting a paint splash screen identifying him as a “Pro Skater” (if Novak really was a skater at one point, I doubt he got above Am) and he even got a mini-skit where he said he couldn’t go to Europe because he was on probation. So he got replaced with Tim O’Connor.

Then everything was Novak. Bam called him “my partner”, painted clothes on him with body paint, got jealous when he’d walk in to find Novak bedding some random chick he macked on. Novak at the time seemed to represent Bam’s homo fantasy.

It reminds me of James Spader and Robert Downey Jr in the 80s movie Less Than Zero. Spader was the drug dealer forcing his drug addict to do humiliating acts for crack. Novak seemed to join the VLB cast for smack.

If Bam was hard for Ville Valo but couldn’t express it, why did he instead chose someone like Novak as “his partner?”

This is why Bam is disgusted when he hears about Novak’s sobriety. He’s lost his drug slave.

Because he could control Novak with smack, a paycheck and keep things on the DL. He couldn’t have that power dynamic with Valo.

Novak was sucking dick for smack on the streets of Baltimore, so compared to that pleasuring Bam was much easier and better money.

Novak knowing Bam’s dirty secrets, getting sober and not being “gay for pay” anymore enrages Bam. Novak is supposed to be the junkie POS that makes Bam feel good about himself. Seeing Novak with his shit together makes Bam realize he’s now the bottom rung on the ladder and it’s intolerable to him.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Every time I see this thread rise to the top of the thread list, I wonder if today’s the day he died of an overdose. I guess not yet, but soon? Things sure ain’t looking good.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

Knoxville is probably fucking pissed.

He dealt with all this manic psychosis with Steve-O over a decade ago and that was absolutely bad. In Steve-O’s home video you can clearly see Knoxville is not in character and is dead serious about stopping Steve-O from himself.

A decade later, these guys are all in their late forties and now the ringleader(s) have to deal with this immature baby and his bad puns (“Knox you out?” Wtf!)

It's hard watching somebody you know fall victim to drugs and mental-illness. I applaud Knoxville for knowing when to take things seriously. He saw the path Steve-0 was heading down and knew tough love was needed to help him fix his issues.

I don't think however Bam is in the same position as Steve-O. If he does recover and fix his life, I envision his road to recovery being much tougher and harder than Steve-0's was.

 

[marfusha]

Looks like his son has fetal alcohol syndrome. Poor kid

 

[DumbDude42]

I don't think however Bam is in the same position as Steve-O. If he does recover and fix his life, I envision his road to recovery being much tougher and harder than Steve-0's was.

i dont know about steve-o but one of bams main obstacles is the fact that he's a complete manchild. like, mind of a 13 year old retard in the body of a 40-ish year old junkie.

also his parents are enabling him, so he never ever hit rock bottom. for many junkies it takes hitting rock bottom not just once but several times until they really register it as a wake-up call. but bam never got there, and likely never will as long as he has the family safety net.

 

[Brett DeLawyer]

Looks like his son has fetal alcohol syndrome. Poor kid
View attachment 2167371View attachment 2167372

Either that, or autism face. Him not seeming very verbal at his age is a red flag of some sort, at least.

 

[A Series Of Tubes]

Every time I see this thread rise to the top of the thread list, I wonder if today’s the day he died of an overdose. I guess not yet, but soon? Things sure ain’t looking good.

At the current rate, if he keeps this shit up he's got maybe? 5 years left before he keels over and that's being too optimistic.

 

[Rogowski]

i dont know about steve-o but one of bams main obstacles is the fact that he's a complete manchild. like, mind of a 13 year old retard in the body of a 40-ish year old junkie.

also his parents are enabling him, so he never ever hit rock bottom. for many junkies it takes hitting rock bottom not just once but several times until they really register it as a wake-up call. but bam never got there, and likely never will as long as he has the family safety net.

I don’t think his family is enabling Bam so much as they’re keeping him from pissing away the last of his money while keep their distance.

Bam would have to pull Gator move and murder/rape a girl to truly have nobody to count on. Consider that he could alienate the entire skate industry () , the cable television industry (), and the film industry (currently in progress, because despite Bam’s crying Jeff Tremaine has built a production studio from scratch who’s latest Netflix offering starred Eric Andre and received critic acclaim and topped the streaming charts for weeks), and sure his career opportunities from here on out are weak co-star features in YouTube videos like this one he was plugging on his Instagram today:

I can’t imagine these features are paying much, if anything. Compared to an MTV or Paramount salary it’s probably enough keep him from being completely broke but also just small enough to remind him how badly he fucked up his free ride.

But given his track record it’s only a matter of time before he has a disagreement over compensation with a YouTuber and starts ranting on Instagram about how he wants to have gay incest with a 19-year old YouTube influencer and then he’s blackballed from another industry for bullying people young enough to be his children.

And when is the last time he has been seen in Pennsylvania? Looking at his brothers Instagram he seems to be running a music studio out of Bam’s old house and the comments of his latest post allude to the fact this is about Bam.


Best case scenario Bam is getting rent money
and a couple percentage points off of all music made in his studio and he’s been told to fuck off after that. If he fucks that up then it’s as close to rock bottom as he will ever get; nobody with any celebrity status will touch him and he’ll be reduced to hanging out in random bars and skateparks, living off the kindness of strangers who grew up watching his antics until he dies of an overdose or cirrhosis of the liver.

 

[LordofCringe7206]

i dont know about steve-o but one of bams main obstacles is the fact that he's a complete manchild. like, mind of a 13 year old retard in the body of a 40-ish year old junkie.

also his parents are enabling him, so he never ever hit rock bottom. for many junkies it takes hitting rock bottom not just once but several times until they really register it as a wake-up call. but bam never got there, and likely never will as long as he has the family safety net.

I obviously don't know what Steve-O went through and why he fell into drug abuse. But is seems to me looking over his history that his problems really just were developing an addiction. Bam's problems on the other hand seem to stem much deeper. Issues that are rooted in his personality and his mindset. Like you said, he's nothing more than a manchild.

He has never displayed any instances of having an adult mindset. Nothing that shows him thinking about his responsibilities or his future. He literally dropped out of High School just because a friend stopped going. If he's to conquer his addiction, he is going to have to literally rewrite his entire mind and make the jump from kid to adult.

 

[Celestine]

I think about this bit all the time reading this thread.

 

[The Un-Clit]

I obviously don't know what Steve-O went through and why he fell into drug abuse. But is seems to me looking over his history that his problems really just were developing an addiction. Bam's problems on the other hand seem to stem much deeper. Issues that are rooted in his personality and his mindset. Like you said, he's nothing more than a manchild.

He has never displayed any instances of having an adult mindset. Nothing that shows him thinking about his responsibilities or his future. He literally dropped out of High School just because a friend stopped going. If he's to conquer his addiction, he is going to have to literally rewrite his entire mind and make the jump from kid to adult.

From what I have seen of Steve-O was that even at his most mental, he still loved his family and was on good terms. He even apologized to his father on film in the segment where he took a drink of horse cum. I am sure he was still willing and able to ask and recieve help from his family even after he did brutally hit rock bottom. (heard the guy's voice lately? He always had a hoarse voice but now it sounds like he's gargling razor blades whenever he talks. Must have completely trashed his throat and vocal cords with all that frozen nitrous oxide he was doing during his final big crashdown.)

Bam on the other hand, of all the CKY crew in the Jackass team, it was always Bam I disliked the most. His practical jokes far too often had an edge of cruel bullying to it rather then funny goofing. Especially towards his father. Phil has the patience of a goddamn saint. (Though it must be said, the fireworks wake-up call segment was a fucking gutbuster) Bam burns his bridges with the arrogance of one who expects to always be forgiven and loved no matter what. And guess what asshole, that ship sailed YEARS ago when you never grew up.