Chris-Chan: A Comprehensive History

[Tennis-Ball-Tony]

Chris is, and has always been, a mentally ill man with no Behavior Support Plan, coddled by out of touch parents who had no clue what he really needed.

One of the things I always found interesting was the early trolls and fake girlfriends actually tried to help Chris more than his parents did. There's this myth that every troll was BlueSpike, but if you go through and actually listen to the calls, or read the correspondence, there was a lot of times of the various trolls/gfs actually trying to get Chris to do the right thing, but at every turn, Chris would weasel something in, or do it exactly one time, and never learn. A phony girlfriend would tell him to eat better, he'd have one meal of vegetables, then just lie about eating them. He'd make one video "jogging", then after that just lie.

 

[Fapcop]

The latest episode isn’t available in Europe for whatever reason?! Does anyone know why? Music rights or something?

 

[elkinbub]

A phony girlfriend would tell him to eat better, he'd have one meal of vegetables, then just lie about eating them.

OH COME ON!!!!
HE HAD THE SALAD AT THE MCDONALDS ALONG WITH A LEMONADE!!!!

 

[Heckler1]

One of the things I always found interesting was the early trolls and fake girlfriends actually tried to help Chris more than his parents did. There's this myth that every troll was BlueSpike, but if you go through and actually listen to the calls, or read the correspondence, there was a lot of times of the various trolls/gfs actually trying to get Chris to do the right thing, but at every turn, Chris would weasel something in, or do it exactly one time, and never learn. A phony girlfriend would tell him to eat better, he'd have one meal of vegetables, then just lie about eating them. He'd make one video "jogging", then after that just lie.

The early trolls are a weird mix of good advice, moral fagging, and generally humorous catfishing. I don't know how much weight I put into the "the trolls trying to help Chris" angle, and at best I think it was wishful thinking on their part, and at worst it's just an excuse to laugh at a gullible retard. Even if they all were pretending to be his friends with the best of intentions, and even IF Chris had followed through with some of the things he was asked to do, it would be undermined by the fact it was built on a fabrication to get his attention in the first place. Granted, it's easy to look back in hindsight and say that nothing was going to ever work because of both Chris' nature and nurture working against any attempts at meaningful change. Chris does/did always hide in his autism as a excuse for why he did/didn't do things, but the truth of it is that his level of functioning and support made any attempt at helping like trying to break through a brick wall with your face.

 

[Arctic Bullet]

Fair enough but I wish Geno made those narrative threads more clear when it involves trolling. I guess that's my real complaint. I feel like this documentary is very well structured and beautiful, but I find the segments about trolls to be more unstructured and too chaotic.

I feel like its a part of the whole Unbiased Recorder going down a list thing that Geno in the early parts tried to present as.
Over time its slowly gone away likely due to the sheer amount of bullshit you would need to go through to reach this point affecting his ability to keep personal biases out of it.
Even then he keeps most thoughts in the short outro parts of the videos.

 

[The American Hedgehog]

Marvin has said that the overall goal of the trolls wasn't to help Chris but to prod him into being funny.

Anyway, I think people are arguing about the wrong things. Our goal in trolling Chris is to get laughs, not to help him.

When Chris is helped by trolling, it's because trolls try to push Chris outside of his comfort zone. Chris doing the same things over and over again is boring and unfunny. It just so happens that sometimes (not often, but sometimes) that's a good thing for Chris.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

the fact it was built on a fabrication to get his attention in the first place.

So like a child, Chris had to be tricked in order to go do things.

 

[Fapcop]

Marvin has said that the overall goal of the trolls wasn't to help Chris but to prod him into being funny.

Well... Marvin was only part of one group of trolls.

While the trolling obviously was done with lulz in mind, some of the trolls seemed more set on “helping” Chris than others.

It of course helps that it’s funny to see Chris squirm and try to apply for jobs in a halfassed way and get exercise.

Weee the trolls dead set on improving Chris? No they were out for lulz. But along the way they did more to try and make Chris better himself than his parents did.

 

[Trigger Me Timbers]

Oooh we're getting close to the "DON'T CALL ANYBODY" moment, possibly my fave moments of the entire thing.

"Null shared a photo of close up of Chirs recent "taint" piecing on the forums, it's not known how Null got this photo"

... I really want to know how he got it..

 

[Uncle Meat]

No one's ever done anything to help Chris. He wouldn't let them if they tried. All people have ever done is nag him. He'll let people nag him because he's so desperate for company.

 

[PhoBingas]

No one's ever done anything to help Chris. He wouldn't let them if they tried. All people have ever done is nag him. He'll let people nag him because he's so desperate for company.

If Chris actually wanted to ''get better'' he would. He's not that bad off imo. He's self-aware enough to manipulate people to attempt to get what he wants.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

If Chris actually wanted to ''get better'' he would. He's not that bad off imo. He's self-aware enough to manipulate people to attempt to get what he wants.

Isn't that going into Tommy Tooter territory?

 

[Tiger Tanaka]

No one's ever done anything to help Chris. He wouldn't let them if they tried. All people have ever done is nag him. He'll let people nag him because he's so desperate for company.

He's had a couple of white knights who've helped him out or thrown money his way. I can see why the trolls would create trust issues and make it hard for him to differentiate help from harm in online circumstances too. The bigger issue is Chris has never had an incentive to improve. You need to fall, fail, and get royally fucked. This motivates you to climb back up. Not Chris though, because

1 He's always been near rock bottom
2 People have always picked him up without his effort

At school, his dad gets him friends/mercenaries. At college, he's allowed back in after soliciting sex with his sign. At the Gameplace, Michael Snyder continually refrains from taking it further than it to a felony. His house burns down, but nobody dies, and insurance pays for it all. White knights donate money. Tugboat keeps on pulling into port. Dad dies, but Chris inherits no responsibility. He maces someone, and Chris doesn't do serious jail time, and the court appointed psychiatrist just gives up. Doesn't meet his patreon requirements, but people still donate.

I will say you are right in one regard. Some people try to paint trolls in a more positive light by saying they had hidden messages to help Chris. They tried to bully him into making better choices. It's all BS because their primary motive was always to get the lulz from their lolcow. The father call wasn't about motivating Chris to get a job, but in speaking to him like dirt for hours on end, for example.

My own personal note. I did once try to help chris, and got burned for it. Never again. Pearls before swine, and all that.

 

[Alex Krycek]

Saying Chris doesn’t wasn’t to get better isn’t 100% accurate imho. He wants instant gratification is a more accurate statement.

 

[Mr. 0]

"Null shared a photo of close up of Chirs recent "taint" piecing on the forums, it's not known how Null got this photo"

... I really want to know how he got it..

Didn't Chris post it on his facebook? Or someone on his friends list shared it with the farms and people freaked out thinking he was going to get an infection and die from sepsis or something? I might be thinking of when he slit his taint but I don't remember Null specifically being the one to reveal this.

 

[Flavius Anthemius]

If he wanted to actually get help for his deteriorating mental state and to become a more level-headed person, he would have left this role-playing power godess bullshit years ago, but here we are. I do wonder though if he ever managed to make any sort of legitimate friends or acquaintances at those Churches he attended whilst his dad was still alive. They probably would have had a certain degree of understanding that he probably wasn't very interested in making any legitimate friends unless they were willing to put up with his fictional fantasy bullshit and suck up to his overarching opinion on any sort of pop culture trend that Chris was interested in at the time. Actually considering people his age at that point in time were probably not into the Pokemans or transformers he really wouldn't have had anything in common with any of those types of people anyway, especially as he started to transform into the swamp monster (I don't think a Church in Virginia would have been that welcoming to people of that particular caliber).

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

If Chris actually wanted to ''get better'' he would. He's not that bad off imo. He's self-aware enough to manipulate people to attempt to get what he wants.

Exactly, i used to believe he was really handicapped and could not do shit but that was not the case. Chris can actually do all the basic things a normal person can, he is just prefers to be useless. Dude can drive, travel on his own, do all bookings for himself like when he goes to bronycons, he actually has good vocabulary and can communicate verbally and in written form properly enough, i know these are not exactly nobel prize awards but there are millions of niggers people currently in employment below that treshold of capabilities, lots of retarded functional analphabets still doing their 9 to 5 just fine. All while acting coy he was stealing money from Bob and Barbs bank accounts and credit cards, he is capable of a lot.

I don't think Chris even deserves the tugboat, he has never been unable to be employed, he is just unwilling, he is high functioning enough to flip burguers, scrub floors or stock shelves at wallmart, he is high functioning enough to bate himself, save money for his debt, clean his fucking house if he gave a single fuck.

My own personal note. I did once try to help chris, and got burned for it. Never again. Pearls before swine, and all that.

What did you do? how did you get burned?

 

[Tiger Tanaka]

What did you do? how did you get burned?

Oh it's just real real real small potatoes. The month I had to put my cat to sleep from cancer, Chris needed money for animal medicine or veterinary surgery (I forget which), and I threw him a wedge of green. Not a massive amount, but enough to ensure he bought a game, some transformers, or a commission from an MLP artist. He got a few people this way. At first I was angry, not about the money but being lied to. Then I realized I was the fucking idiot for giving money to Chris. Sometime later I find the Kiwi Farms and Null has some sage advice: don't buy from Chris.

It wasn't the money but that he'd used my kindness. My cat's name was Tiger (Tanaka) and it's how I picked this username.

Now I find it best to just sit back and let nature take its course. The only time I get angry with Chris now is when I see him live-streaming and hissing/growling/meowing at his cats and dogs. Someone once commented somewhere he sounds like Toshio from The Grudge, and given the life expectancy of those animals it seems apt. As content as I am to watch Chris and Barb crash and burn, I still feel a lot of concern for those pets.

 

[2021Murder]

I dunno why he has these segments. Straight up unbiased honesty:

Pretty boring

A short one time “about me” segment would be ok but not this monthly release shit.

There are bigger retards whose content consists (mainly) of reaction vids and they get way more views/subs. So I’ll give Geno some sympathy in that regard.

i agree, maybe make some director commentaries or have some remarks about the episode but hours of streams about nothing is sort of dumb.

he even plays up the stupid kiddie voice

why do they all have that voice? it sounds like the tard bugs bunny messes with in looney tunes cartoons. nothing signals the "fuck this guy/this guy's a tard" signal in people's brains like that voice. they all have it and its such a bizarre thing for their vocal cords to give them. and because the terms are so generic i can't find a reason/link as to why online

I don't know if I can blame Geno or not for the episodes that slump.

Geno as a Christorian I can appreciate. I can watch his videos and enjoy them. Geno as the Japanese busker with the guitar and album covers I have no interest in watching. If he's using Chris as a stepping stone, he wouldn't be the first.

there's a reason he did this when his songs didn't take off. he should try being a beige frequency for lolcows, that seems more his style. i have a feeling he knows people will stop giving a fuck once we reach 2020 with Chris which is why he's spacing these out more and more. we got 8 more episodes left at most. one every other week would mean people stop giving a fuck before the end of the year.

 

[AnAccount]

I'd love to see him cover that tommy tooter guy. I just don't know where to start with that cow and he doesn't have a similiar amount of cover you see with other big cows.