Lovequest Chris's Strap-On

[bradsternum]

Spoiler: idk

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If you look at it sideways, it looks like rolling hills with a crooked black tower and rivers of blood. That's if you look at it too long and your brain decides it wants to see something else.

 

[tehpope]

So wait, that Red area on his ass is Jock Itch?

 

[Pickle Inspector]

So, in the comics, if his DNA was used to cure the homosexuals, does that actually mean everyone became a lesbian instead?

That would explain how Sonichu's kids turned out the way they did.

 

[registereduser]

Qt nail polish.

 

[The Knife's Husbando]

I can only think of two reasons why a man would own a strapon:

1) Its OPL's way of saying "I am hopelessly 'inadequate' as a lover and need special tools to artificially 'supplement' my lack of 'manhood' "
or
2) "Peg me, Renee."

You can also add:

3. Medical reasons. Erectile dysfunction sucks, but there are ways around it.
4. Your female partner is in the mood for double penetration.
5. Your partner wants to continue playing, but you've "emptied your clip".
6. Your partner wants a alternative/more intense/more painful sensation than a normal penis can provide.
7. Pure kinky fun. Look up mouth and thigh harnesses.
8. If you're alone & feeling "needy" a strap on harness is an easy way to attach a toy to a convenient bedpost or whatever.

TL;DR? A strap-on harness is a great addition to a healthy sexual relationship.

 

[MY 405]

Chris, honey....Google is your friend. Use her.

(All links NSFW)

Basic model: http://stockroom.com/Original-Vee-String-Vagina-Prosthesis-P2849.aspx

Deluxe, top-of the line model: http://stockroom.com/Sheath-with-Urinating-Bladder-Vee-String-Vagina-Prosthesis-P2837.aspx

Well ... at least he'd finally learn where all the parts are located.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

So wait, that Red area on his ass is Jock Itch?

Or scabies? Didn't Chris say that Barb had scabies at one point?

 

[navydeckink]

The last one is in profile, at waist level. Losing weight my aching ass.

I've got a few lesbian friends that sometimes wear strap-ons as an everyday accessory. Maybe Chris picked up on that type of thing, but in his warped mind, taking the dildo part off let him both use it as something to hold his uh, duck, outta the way, while simultaneously claiming something he associates with being a sexually active lesbian for his own male lesbian shtick.

(also, yuck!)

 

[LordCustos3]

You can also add:

3. Medical reasons. Erectile dysfunction sucks, but there are ways around it.
4. Your female partner is in the mood for double penetration.
5. Your partner wants to continue playing, but you've "emptied your clip".
6. Your partner wants a alternative/more intense/more painful sensation than a normal penis can provide.
7. Pure kinky fun. Look up mouth and thigh harnesses.
8. If you're alone & feeling "needy" a strap on harness is an easy way to attach a toy to a convenient bedpost or whatever.

TL;DR? A strap-on harness is a great addition to a healthy sexual relationship.

These are all fine and dandy reasons for mature adults in a relationship. But remember we are talking about someone for whom the words "mature", "adult", "Healthy", "sexual" and "relationship" do not apply.
Though -- and maybe I'm just being far too imaginative here -- maybe reason #8 does apply to OPL.

Brrrrrr.

So wait, that Red area on his ass is Jock Itch?

I've postulated in the past that OPL would get "diaper rash" from his inadequate hygiene and dirty crapped panties.

 

[sparklemilhouse]

From what I can theorise, he is using it to hide his penis and have a smoother crotch. He took off the fake penis part.

but chris, they make special tape for this.

 

[Flamey]

Well now I need to spoon my eyes out

 

[Male]

a strap on dildo is probably the closest thing chris will get to seeing his dick again

 

[pickletickle]

I'm not even sure what to say...my nightmares will forever be haunted by what I have seen here tonight...this is even somehow worse than the migrating piercing/"LOOK I GREW LABIA!" picture...the balls...dear God WHY...they're so shiny and swollen...

 

[MY 405]

but chris, they make special tape for this.

It's called "duck" tape...

 

[Enjoy your spaghetti]

Yo dawg I heard you like hiding your duck so I got you a belt to wear a duck while you hide your duck.

 

[4Macie]

My brain literally cannot comprehend whatever the fuck it is I'm seeing

 

[Rogowski]

Any word from Ricardo about what he did with the dildo? As a hater of dicks he surely must have thrown it away.

EDIT" Sarcasm translates poorly in text.

 

[Conrix]

When I saw the third image, I made a sound. It kinda sounded like this:

Mine sounded like this:

(16:59)

 

[Dio Brando]

Honestly, seeing Chris' life has desensitized me to the point where stuff like this doesn't even faze me anymore. I can still eat, I can still sleep. I'm only able simply ask, "why?"

 

[Skeletor]

That can't be good for his balls. Like "Crystal now literally has zero chance" not good for his balls.

Ya, I've been told pro cyclists can develop complications with the constant pressure of the bike seat on the boys. I don't want to know what the combo attack of Chris's lifestyle, diet, and strapon jammed onto his crotch will do to his equipment.