deep thots on polyamory - and other relationships with more than 2 people

[Miss Misery]

https://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/latest-man-chokes-cougar-attacked-colorado-60858347

Wildlife officials say a man who fought off a young mountain lion on a northern Colorado trail killed the animal by choking it.

Cougars don't leave their mothers until they're two years old. It was young and hungry, not the size of a full grown, well fed lion and that is what enabled the man to fight it off.

 

[Ser Prize]

Cougars don't leave their mothers until they're two years old. It was young and hungry, not the size of a full grown, well fed lion and that is what enabled the man to fight it off.

Edited my post to include another example, though this time of a leopard.

 

[Ted_Logan]

Poly is cheating with extra steps and more retarted

 

[CiaphasCain]

I remember Mister Metokur talking about the ProJared polyamory situation and he put it best. Metokur said something along the lines of "people are way too susceptible to jealousy for a polyamorous relationship to work".

Personally I think polyamory is unhealthy behaviour and definitely bad for a family that has children. At the end of the day, one of you is going to get cucked way more than the other and your 'relationship' will collapse.

If you want to be polyamorous go for it but I believe things like that just leave you hollow and alone in the end.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

The one thing that always gets me: If you're in a stable and happy relationship why in the fuck would you ever risk that just for some extra sex? Sure, in the one in a million odds it'd work out I'd get two sets of boobs, that'd be nifty. But in the 99.9999% chance it fails you lose a good relationship, which in itself is hard to come by. Poly-niggers can't into basic risk assessment because they're coomerism has short circuited their brain.

 

[Professor G. Raff]

I'm pretty liberal about everything that isn't pedophilia as long as it's not rubbed in my face, and while this includes polyamory it is the thing that disgusts me the most outside of pedophilia. The level is bothers me on is just the absolute loss of everything that makes a committed relationship special and you are willingly disposing of it for the empty shell of one.

I don't think it's a stretch to say most people in polyamorous relationships are are some combination of deeply unhappy, desperate, sexually degenerate/lustful, opportunistic and sociopathic. The most common version seems to be a conventionally unattractive woman with several very desperate soyboys, even when it involves less stereotypical people the dynamics tend to be the same.

I have a personal philosophy many would disagree with though I think it is just to hide the uncomfortable truth they don't want to think about - there is no such thing as the apples and oranges comparison, that is to say anything and be compared to anything and humans absolutely have a preference for their loved ones. A mother might say she can't choose between her children but if it truly came down to a Sophie's choice she does have a preference, and absolutely already knows which she'd chose. In the context of relationships this becomes exponentially less challenging without familial ties, and the preference is much more lopsided.

The odds are extremely high that the core person of the poly group is receiving all the advantages at the expense of the others. They either don't care about any emotional connection at all and are just exploiting the group for personal gain (sex, finanacial gain, control, etc.), or one person in the group they do consider on a deeper level but still want to take advantage of those willing to vie for their affection... in this case they are probably a manipulative sociopath as they only care about their one way affection for the main partner ignoring that partner's own well-being by keeping them feeling inadequate. I bet the goal of those who aren't the central person in most poly groups is to win attention and become the sole partner... if not just a vie for occasional pity sex.

TL;DR
The idea of a poly relationship disgusts me and they are an emotionally manipulative scam by the central person for personal gain.

 

[Divine right to rule]

I think monogamy should be the gold standard, but going by history, exceptionally rich, powerful or charming men had often multiple wives/concubines. It would be preferrable for chads to have like 3 women in a permanent arrangement than them fucking hundreds of chicks without any attachment, probably also cucking other men.

 

[Alex Hogendorp]

Polyamory is just an excuse to cheat on your wives or husbands. You just cannot keep that relationship stable.

 

[God of Nothing]

The Virgin Polaymory Vs The Chad Polygamy

 

[Donker]

I know a few very successful Polyamorous couples, been together decade+, very stable etc
Hell I know I can be Polyamorous because I don't get relationship jealousy, casual sex is just glorified masturbation and I've never really had a problem with the concept of being in a relationship while having fuckbuddies, same with partners. No "poly" relationship I've been in has fallen to pieces over the Poly part or Jealousy. (More because I have seinfield episode level pickiness/OCD when it comes to relationships)

That said I can understand why it won't work for most people 90%+ of the time. You often see Poly in "nerd couples" where one rainbow hammy will make their relationship poly with the promise the soi male partner can fuck some other girls (knowing soi nerd never will) while she builds a harem of other nerd ass guys. Suddenly, you see the guy fall down the totem pole in the relationship and just become another harem member. I think most people aren't actually particularly honest about Polyarmoury in their relationships.

Another issue is time, I just don't see how having multiple ACTUAL boyfriend/girlfriend spouses would work time wise. The "poly" relationships I was in was me and the woman just maintained our own fuckbuddy contacts or could just have one night stands, never did the actual multiple committed relationships, I could see maybe 1 other person? but Polycules just seem like bullshit.

 

[Cnaiur urs Skiotha]

Okay for the sake of discussion I'll tell you my personal experience with it. In general my opinion is that it can work but most people can't hack it. Poly is more complicated and you need more relationship skills, sanity, and self awareness than the average person has. Moreover as has been pointed out poly tends to appeal to exactly the type of people who will be bad at it, namely ugly nerds and SJWs, Cluster Bs, and people who think a lack of exclusivity means they don't have to care about the other party's feelings. There are also some good looking and sane people who do it, fortunately. Remember that this site is about the worst of the worst; r/polyamory is a trash fire, as are the poly cows here such as the Tranchers. And fuck "rElAtiOnsHip aNArChy". Anyway...

Spoiler: powerlevel

I had never considered poly but 4 years ago at a previous job I was working with a girl, who I'll call "A", and we ended up developing a mutual crush and eventually starting a relationship. She was polyamorous and already had a boyfriend, who she had been dating for 10 years at that point, and they had been poly for about 5. Both had started new relationships over that time so they were pretty experienced and able to handle it by the time I came into the picture. At first my relationship with A was pretty casual and basically just an FWB situation. We both knew she was leaving for grad school in 6 months so it sort of had a timer on it. We split up amicably when she left but ended up getting back together 3 years later when she moved back. The whole time her boyfriend was very cool to me and I didn't feel like I caused any tension between them. The fact that they had a long established relationship definitely helped I think. They became poly because they both wanted to: he had been a virgin when the relationship started and wanted to experience sex with other people, and she wanted to explore her bisexuality. I do agree with some of the posters here who see a lot of poly relationships that are only really wanted by one partner. Obviously that will make the other partner unhappy and is untenable long-term. Anyway A and her bf had a very secure, drama-free relationship which definitely made it possible for me to come in without disrupting things.

Anyway about 6 months after getting back together with A, I met B on Tinder. She had never been poly but was open to it. I put that I was poly in my dating profile so she knew upfront. We ended up dating, and there was definitely an adjustment period where A felt a little jealous and needed reassurance, and B felt a little intimidated by the existing relationship. But we communicated through it and A and B ended up becoming friends and even hooking up a couple times, although they don't date each other. B has recently started seeing another guy and I've also felt some minor jealousy but honestly not as much as you'd probably expect.

Really it comes down to being secure in your existing relationship so that you can trust that a new partner for either person isn't going to threaten that bond. At the end of the day I know that both A and B love me even though they also love other people. Everybody shares their partner's heart anyway with their partner's friends and family. You already share their time with their employer and their hobbies. If you can accept that your love is real without being exclusive, and that your partner's feelings for another person don't change their feelings for you, I think it's possible. All people involved have to genuinely want it, know what they're getting into, and accept that it is what it is. You have to put in more time and manage your time wisely, you have to consider the feelings of multiple people, and for fuck's sake you need to get tested regularly and/or use condoms.

Also (perhaps stereotypically) none of the people in my polycule want kids, which makes it a lot easier I think. Poly with kids is a whole other minefield that I can't really speak to.

I hope this has been interesting, now feel free to bury this post in bad stickers for not being based and trad, I deserve it.

 

[AMHOLIO]

Cougars don't leave their mothers until they're two years old. It was young and hungry, not the size of a full grown, well fed lion and that is what enabled the man to fight it off.

Edited my post to include another example, though this time of a leopard.

Made a spinoff thread for man and his place in the animal kingdom based off the past 2 pages.

I know a few very successful Polyamorous couples, been together decade+,

How? Legit question, it's always fascinating. What has helped them keep together for so long?

I hope this has been interesting, now feel free to bury this post in bad stickers for not being based and trad, I deserve it.

Honestly, not forcing it into a family, not bringing in children, and defining clearly what you want really helps. I ain't upset, I just hope if anything ends again it's all amicable.

 

[BPD Gunt Rider]

I've never seen a polyamory situation work beyond a few months.

The only possible scenario I could see it work is with an extremely attractive man and a lesser woman where value and potential jealousy are equalized.

 

[The Great Chandler]

Casual sex while having a spouse is fine as long as there's communication. Polygamy? Well there is a reason why some people are afraid of committed relationships

 

[Petronella]

I had known I had poly tendencies for a long time, but suppressed it for years (for a number of reasons) until recently. It's definitely not for everyone, communication is key.
I will say I think gender also plays a big role. In my experience, guys will say they get it or "aren't the jealous type," then turn around and try to turn it into a competition. Or quiz the woman on shit like "Well if you had to pick just one of us, who would you choose (and I'll get jelly if you don't say me)?"

 

[Yarp64371234]

I had known I had poly tendencies for a long time, but suppressed it for years (for a number of reasons) until recently. It's definitely not for everyone, communication is key.
I will say I think gender also plays a big role. In my experience, guys will say they get it or "aren't the jealous type," then turn around and try to turn it into a competition. Or quiz the woman on shit like "Well if you had to pick just one of us, who would you choose (and I'll get jelly if you don't say me)?"

Having attachment issues by bad relationships and an extreme socialization isn't normal, everyone should have some respect of itself and atleast try to take care of an specific person.
It's impossible for those relationships to be equal, they will always be a burden to you as a way to appease someone or a relationship where you abuse somebody else.
Casual sex within your gf/wife is ok, that's a thing that has no limit.

 

[MachoMan]

Having some personal experience in this, without powerleveling, the best comment I ever saw was from a chick I met on a dating site who said “I tried poly once but I simply don’t have enough Vicodin for that shit.”

 

[Sarcastic sockpuppet]

I have seen documentaries on remotes tribes, for exemple in the Amazon, who don't really have big hang ups on monogamy. A woman could have two "husbands" and it's fine.
It's not a giga-complex polycule but it's not strict monogamy. They can both "marry" and divorce pretty freely.

I am also vaguely aware of people who have several partners in different cities, with the consent of all the parties involved, and seems to be able to manage... I don't know them very well tho.

So I don't think it's that big of a stretch that it could work for some. I think you would need to be really secure, level-headed, with great conflict-resolving skills, to make it work.
In our current society the poly community is often plagued.

Like someone said, the concept of Polyamory attracts all the people who are ill-suited for it, mostly people who don't want to commit/care about their partner, narc and abusers.

Also actual polygamy in very patriarcal societies when it's "traditional" seems to quite often strong-arm women into accepting that their husband will have multiple wives at the same time and take new ones without their sincere permission. But they can't have multiple husbands. It's filled with abusive dynamics and it puts all the women in competition for one dude. It's a deeply unequal kind of partnership.

In theory, it could work.
In practice, I am deeply skeptical of anybody looking at it with rose-colored glasses.

 

[ArnoldPalmer]

They don't work, and those who engage in poly should not be seen as people. They are objectively less than people for failing to value the importance of a true relationship. That, or they're completely pathetic people with 0 self-worth. It's the same thing as being a whore, except worse, because you're doing it for free.

 

[mario if smoke weed]

One woman is hard enough, unless you're Muslim.