DSP's scholastic journey from valedictorian to boiling ramen in a keurig and eating it with a spoon - "Look at this. It's empty. There's no brain. Did you lose it somewhere?"

[Preferred Penne]

Another example of his high school being poor is when he went to college. He took a computer class and flunked out. He blamed his high school for never teaching him how to use a computer. This is conflicting with Phil's claim that computers was his favorite subject in school.

That could mean that he liked played Oregon Trail and Number Munchers.

Which makes me want to see him play Oregon Trail to see if his whole party dies while fording the first river.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Which makes me want to see him play Oregon Trail to see if his whole party dies while fording the first river.

I'd love to see him play Oregon Trail, he's utterly lacking in the sense of humor you have to have to enjoy it.
He would, however, do a massively racist impression of the Indians who trade with you. Including making that "wuwuwuwuw" noise.

 

[Fuckyoudad]

My ex GF was only a salutatorian at her high school and got a fat scholarship to Cornell. The Vale at her school got a full ride to Columbia.

This faggot says he was a Vale and couldn’t get accepted into any college and I’m calling 100% bullshit on that unless his school was filled with equally as pathetic mongoloids.

I mean you pretty much answered the how part for yourself here. The company present around him at the time must have had a hand in deciding that he was the one for the role. When I said trust me on this one it's because I know a couple of people who made valedictorian and today both of them are drug-addled slackers. One of them didn't even finish college. I mean drugs can be a thing hitting anyone in any walk of life but even before this I would still say neither of were ever the sharpest tacks in the box. Even a dim bulb like DSP can manage to stand out for a while.. he managed it for a period on youtube afterall. Doesn't mean he can sustain it in any path he chooses because he's one lazy fucker. You also have to account for the weirdo luck he manages to pick up and squander in the blink of an eye.

 

[Colloid]

I also have a personal theory that Phil's parents did a good portion of his schoolwork for him. We have Phil's testimony to go by, but his parents allegedly went to the school to get him less homework. Daddy got him the helicopter job. They give him birthday and Christmas money to this day. They seem to have an unusual relationship with their son and I wouldn't be surprised if little Phil cried "I can't do it" and mommy and daddy did it for him.

This wouldn't surprise me at all since pretty much every manchild in existence results, at least partially, from bad parenting. The fact that Dark admits to still getting cash from them despite being in his 30's with his own income, on top of everything else, is a dead giveaway that they've coddled his ass since the beginning. He's so poorly disciplined and entitled because of them that not getting a Wolverine toy when he asked for it is considered a major life event/trauma for him.

 

[Mooty Mooty Mooty]

It is incredibly hard to believe that Phil wasn't a complete wash out in High school. I think it is almost as likely that there happened to be another student with the same name, or that he was in some kind of special needs class.

Or being a catholic school maybe the principal was willing to give out rewards to kids that stayed in his office after school for extra-curricular activities. "Darksydephil, suck my balls and lick my taint". "Dood *snort*, getting under the principals desk is a buyers market right now. Its just like playing Street Fighter 2 with an arcade stick ack ack ack".

 

[Wurstbrot]

It is incredibly hard to believe that Phil wasn't a complete wash out in High school. I think it is almost as likely that there happened to be another student with the same name, or that he was in some kind of special needs class.

Or being a catholic school maybe the principal was willing to give out rewards to kids that stayed in his office after school for extra-curricular activities. "Darksydephil, suck my balls and lick my taint". "Dood *snort*, getting under the principals desk is a buyers market right now. Its just like playing Street Fighter 2 with an arcade stick ack ack ack".

There is a rumor / people say / just one person wrote: It could be that his parents did most of his work, maybe also class-mates (he explained he was lazy and preferred playing videogames all day, he even missed school because of this). Then, probably all he had to do was memorizing data without understanding its meaning. Learn an easy mathematical formula, use it, the end. Make up theoretical solutions in a business test about a hypothetical problem, you get good grades as long as you write a lot and understand the basics. And if everyone around you is even dumber than you, you win.

I won't doubt Phil/Dave/Tom was good at school, parroting is easy and he has an absurdly good memory for useless facts. But school is nearly always theory, but praxis is always way different and this is where he fails hard. He was fired from everywhere as he can clearly not do anything on his own, is obnoxious and fails to use his knowledge properly. As can be seen in his current "job".

His education was wasted. Furthermore, maybe his education is sabotaging him as he literally things everything he does is always right, because he is valedictorian Phil Burnell, Champion of Wallet.

 

[gaarashatan]

There is a rumor / people say / just one person wrote: It could be that his parents did most of his work, maybe also class-mates (he explained he was lazy and preferred playing videogames all day, he even missed school because of this). Then, probably all he had to do was memorizing data without understanding its meaning. Learn an easy mathematical formula, use it, the end. Make up theoretical solutions in a business test about a hypothetical problem, you get good grades as long as you write a lot and understand the basics. And if everyone around you is even dumber than you, you win.

I won't doubt Phil/Dave/Tom was good at school, parroting is easy and he has an absurdly good memory for useless facts. But school is nearly always theory, but praxis is always way different and this is where he fails hard. He was fired from everywhere as he can clearly not do anything on his own, is obnoxious and fails to use his knowledge properly. As can be seen in his current "job".

His education was wasted. Furthermore, maybe his education is sabotaging him as he literally things everything he does is always right, because he is valedictorian Phil Burnell, Champion of Wallet.

i still dont believe he was valedictorian. and if we was, theres no way he earned it himself. and even if he did! didnt he go to a public school? like who cares if youre valedictorian in a public school

 

[ReentryPhantom]

i still dont believe he was valedictorian. and if we was, theres no way he earned it himself. and even if he did! didnt he go to a public school? like who cares if youre valedictorian in a public school

It was a Catholic private school in Fairfield Connecticut.

 

[gaarashatan]

It was a Catholic private school in Fairfield Connecticut.

when a man of god turns into a toxic mass, parents paid for private school. and probably his college, and yet here he lies. begging for money on the internet, thats a sad stroke of fate. i know tons of people who wouldve jumped on the chance for so many opportunities in life

 

[Pargon]

when a man of god turns into a toxic mass, parents paid for private school. and probably his college, and yet here he lies. begging for money on the internet, thats a sad stroke of fate. i know tons of people who wouldve jumped on the chance for so many opportunities in life

I don't think Phil's attendance at a private Catholic high school had anything to do with faith and everything to do with his parents knowing he'd likely be thumped on a daily basis at a public school.

On a related note I think it's a testament to Phil's overall lack of notoriety that no one he went to high school or college with has talked about what he was like. Usually when someone so tahksik crops up in the public consciousness there's some attention whore out there ready to blab about what a shitstain they were as a kid but not so with him. Outside of spergs like us no one even remotely cares about the King o' Weight.

 

[DuckSucker]

I dont think he a lot of friends in high school, especially at his own actual school, did he? It was mostly FGC stuff wasnt it? I mean he might not have been that shitty of a person back then, but I think it's really just a matter of that he used to keep it quite in check.

If you go back and look at some of his first, earliest videos, especially interacting with other people, he's actually really restrained and kind of almost a bit shy. He's someone who, if you didnt know him for his fame on the internet, you wouldnt really notice him. Maybe he would say something out of line but if you called him on it, he would back down like a scared animal, or just be somewhat gracious about it. The type of kid who would toe the line and do something to get in trouble but all you really need to do is pull him aside and scold him or lecture him and he'll get back in line.

There are some FGC videos I remember with Leanna in particular where he lost and he wasnt screaming, he wasnt blaming the game, he just did the "Hey good match man," thing, shook his hand and moved on. It's really only when he's by himself or people he's very close with and doesnt see as somewhat "greater than" him (and he insulates himself for this reason, but also now that's kind of cracked him) that he can act like himself.

 

[Q_Anon1001]

Sorry for my necroposting, but I figured since actually hasn't locked the thread, it's still fair game. Although it's pretty much confirmed by Sparkletor that Phil was Valedictorian. I went down somewhat of a rabbit hole and found a newspaper clipping that did a quick showcase of Notre Dame High School's class of 2000 graduation stating that Phil was valedictorian in a class consisting of 147 students. His yearbook isn't available digitally on the internet. There is a high school called Notre dame in new jersey that has all their yearbooks backed up on the internet which threw me off for a minute. So unless someone somehow manages to find Notre Dame's class of 2000 yearbook, I think this is as close as we'll have to a record rather than just hearsay.

At first glance I thought that phil could have possibly been one of the guys in one of the two pictures on the right hand, but unfortunately it wasn't him.


Edit: I forgot to mention that the newspaper is called fairfield minuteman, cue that x files music, tinfoil hats

 

[TJGamebox]

https://www.allhighschools.com/school/notre-dame-catholic-high-school/161927

 

[Kosher Dill]

Only 22 years to go from valedictorian to an invalid Victorian.

 

[TJGamebox]

https://digital.fairfield.edu/cdm/ his university seems to have an archive on everything, but I cant find anything on a philip burnell

 

[Gotta Groom Em All]

https://www.allhighschools.com/school/notre-dame-catholic-high-school/161927

Big ups Tom Thumb.

 

[UncleTusky]

https://digital.fairfield.edu/cdm/ his university seems to have an archive on everything, but I cant find anything on a philip burnell

You're correct that he does not appear in the yearbook (at least not in 2004 when he should have graduated or 2005 when he would have needed 5 years to finish) but from what I can tell the yearbooks just don't mention someone if s/he didn't have a senior picture, not even a "No Picture" entry with the name below it or a list of seniors without photos at the very end. If the two possibilities are Phil not having his photo taken and lying about attending Fairfield University I'm inclined to believe the former. This isn't because I suddenly think Phil's credible, it's because he is so terrible at telling plausible lies that he would probably have claimed Harvard or Yale if it were all made up - we know he has a sore spot about not getting in to Harvard since he has said that he applied but never got in because he was functionally retarded and his SATs show it a nigger took his spot he was a poor white kid.

 

[LolCowCentral]

You're correct that he does not appear in the yearbook (at least not in 2004 when he should have graduated or 2005 when he would have needed 5 years to finish) but from what I can tell the yearbooks just don't mention someone if s/he didn't have a senior picture, not even a "No Picture" entry with the name below it or a list of seniors without photos at the very end. If the two possibilities are Phil not having his photo taken and lying about attending Fairfield University I'm inclined to believe the former. This isn't because I suddenly think Phil's credible, it's because he is so terrible at telling plausible lies that he would probably have claimed Harvard or Yale if it were all made up - we know he has a sore spot about not getting in to Harvard since he has said that he applied but never got in because he was functionally retarded and his SATs show it a nigger took his spot he was a poor white kid.

Its not that complicated to verify. You can call the school posing as HR for your company citing a background check on a new hire and just doing an eduation/graduation verification.

You'd need his name, DOB, and maybe last 4 of social (which usually you don't need social).

They won't verify anything other than

"Yes he graduated" or "no he didn't".

I think we feel confident he did because didn't he show his bachelors degree on camera one day ?

Either way - 20 years of drinking and never letting yourself continue to mature and learn will make you a complete retard as we see in Phil.

 

[Corpun]

Sorry for my necroposting, but I figured since actually hasn't locked the thread, it's still fair game. Although it's pretty much confirmed by Sparkletor that Phil was Valedictorian. I went down somewhat of a rabbit hole and found a newspaper clipping that did a quick showcase of Notre Dame High School's class of 2000 graduation stating that Phil was valedictorian in a class consisting of 147 students. His yearbook isn't available digitally on the internet. There is a high school called Notre dame in new jersey that has all their yearbooks backed up on the internet which threw me off for a minute. So unless someone somehow manages to find Notre Dame's class of 2000 yearbook, I think this is as close as we'll have to a record rather than just hearsay.

At first glance I thought that phil could have possibly been one of the guys in one of the two pictures on the right hand, but unfortunately it wasn't him.
View attachment 3435227View attachment 3435228

Edit: I forgot to mention that the newspaper is called fairfield minuteman, cue that x files music, tinfoil hats

If a time machine is ever invented but has a single uses (To and from the point in time) I think a detractor should go back and record his valedictorian speech because I want to know how much gloating and ego is in that speech.

 

[Q_Anon1001]

I think we feel confident he did because didn't he show his bachelors degree on camera one day ?

Yeah. But It's typed out in latin and Roman numerals. The graduation year MMIV confirms he graduated in 2004.