Facebook FB 11/12/2013 - Chris apologizes for everything

[butt in trouble]

UNLESS, I actually, FINALLY, find IN PERSON and fall in love with a pretty or beautiful, and Truly Compassionate and Caring, woman who will Have To make the first move and everything, because after ALL of the emotional damage I have experienced, it will take a Honest and Truthful LOT to win me over.

Pretty or Beautiful? Win HIM over? Excuse me? Chris still thinks he's a hot catch for women. Even after all the whining about how depressed he is he still thinks he's in a position to make demands of people. And he STILL expects women to approach him!!!! How can someone have such low self esteem and at the same time be so in love with themselves?

 

[The Nameless One]

UNLESS, I actually, FINALLY, find IN PERSON and fall in love with a pretty or beautiful, and Truly Compassionate and Caring, woman who will Have To make the first move and everything, because after ALL of the emotional damage I have experienced, it will take a Honest and Truthful LOT to win me over.

Pretty or Beautiful? Win HIM over? Excuse me? Chris still thinks he's a hot catch for women. Even after all the whining about how depressed he is he still thinks he's in a position to make demands of people. How can someone have such low self esteem and at the same time be so in love with themselves?

I think what he means by "win me over" is just "convince me that she's not a troll." Since it's Chris, he's incapable of using idioms in their correct context, and this results in him putting his foot in his mouth time and time again.

 

[DV 259]

From what it seems, even the trolluminati are having trouble finding a willing troll girl to approach Chris.

 

[Uzumaki]

His latest reply is perfect. Not only does he expect a supermodel to fall out of the sky and be interested in him, she had better be ready to work hard at winning him over. Chris is no easy catch

 

[butt in trouble]

His latest reply is perfect. Not only does he expect a supermodel to fall out of the sky and be interested in him, she had better be ready to work hard at winning him over. Chris is no easy catch

It's Chris's fault that people become A-logs.

 

[Silver]

Christian Weston Chandler is going to die alone. He will never have love, he will never have regular sex, once Barb dies he won't have a new momma, and he will never make anything out of himself. He's living to die.

It's sad but what can you do? Nothing. Nothing at all.

We could have one of our female Christorians go after him...

... though as a female myself I think I speak for everyone when I say none of us wants to. And hell, I think the Christorians are actually probably more forgiving than most (especially since some of us, including myself, are on the autism spectrum), but... nobody wants to touch him with a forty-foot pole. I certainly don't, so I can't blame anyone else for thinking the same.

 

[Very Honest Content]

Well I had a second shitty weekend in a row, so that reply to Stuffano was almost as refreshing as the release of the lego high school video was after last weekend.

And PS4 is right around the corner? Things are looking up, for us, at least!

 

[Burning Love]

Christian Weston Chandler is going to die alone. He will never have love, he will never have regular sex, once Barb dies he won't have a new momma, and he will never make anything out of himself. He's living to die.

It's sad but what can you do? Nothing. Nothing at all.

We could have one of our female Christorians go after him...

... though as a female myself I think I speak for everyone when I say none of us wants to. And hell, I think the Christorians are actually probably more forgiving than most (especially since some of us, including myself, are on the autism spectrum), but... nobody wants to touch him with a forty-foot pole. I certainly don't, so I can't blame anyone else for thinking the same.

I think I would go about as far as anybody but Emily did. Nothing in real life but online? Certainly. And then someone would have to tell me what to do, because I have no idea how to deal with slow-in-the-minds.

 

[Marvin]

UNLESS, I actually, FINALLY, find IN PERSON and fall in love with a pretty or beautiful, and Truly Compassionate and Caring, woman who will Have To make the first move and everything, because after ALL of the emotional damage I have experienced, it will take a Honest and Truthful LOT to win me over.

Pretty or Beautiful? Win HIM over? Excuse me? Chris still thinks he's a hot catch for women. Even after all the whining about how depressed he is he still thinks he's in a position to make demands of people. How can someone have such low self esteem and at the same time be so in love with themselves?

I think what he means by "win me over" is just "convince me that she's not a troll." Since it's Chris, he's incapable of using idioms in their correct context, and this results in him putting his foot in his mouth time and time again.

Yeah, this.

Chris talks about his high standards, but in practice, he'll fold in a heartbeat.

 

[Silver]

Christian Weston Chandler is going to die alone. He will never have love, he will never have regular sex, once Barb dies he won't have a new momma, and he will never make anything out of himself. He's living to die.

It's sad but what can you do? Nothing. Nothing at all.

We could have one of our female Christorians go after him...

... though as a female myself I think I speak for everyone when I say none of us wants to. And hell, I think the Christorians are actually probably more forgiving than most (especially since some of us, including myself, are on the autism spectrum), but... nobody wants to touch him with a forty-foot pole. I certainly don't, so I can't blame anyone else for thinking the same.

I think I would go about as far as anybody but Emily did. Nothing in real life but online? Certainly. And then someone would have to tell me what to do, because I have no idea how to deal with slow-in-the-minds.

well, chris won't accept a purely online girlfriend. I've known some couples that met over the internet and had successful relationships for a couple of years (which is a lot when you're in your early 20s/late teens) without once meeting in person, but chris won't take that. i mean, just look at the jackie emails and the julie conversations and you'll see what i mean.

 

[Burning Love]

well, chris won't accept a purely online girlfriend. I've known some couples that met over the internet and had successful relationships for a couple of years (which is a lot when you're in your early 20s/late teens) without once meeting in person, but chris won't take that. i mean, just look at the jackie emails and the julie conversations and you'll see what i mean.

I think he would regardless of what he says because he's a derp.

 

[Reshiram]

I'm not a Chris hater. I'm not. I actually don't want to see any harm come to him. On the other hand I am not a white knight. I am here simply because Chris is so interesting. So I can say from an incredibly neutral viewpoint that this "apology" is so insincere.

He just says he's "SORRY FOR EVERYTHING!" literally taking zero responsibility for the consequences of his actions.
He then uses the rest of the status to talk about himself. Not the people he has hurt, not even why he feels he may not be responsible for some things, literally just talks about the people involved in relation to HIS life.
He makes it very clear he is only "apologising" because these people (I assume?) are posting about him online and he feels cornered. If he felt he had some way to get back at the people he wouldn't be apologising.
He uses emotional manipulation. "I'm sorry BUT LOOK HOW SAD I AM THO MY LIFE SO HARD THO"

I honestly feel that if Chris gave a heartfelt and actual apology a lot of shit posting about him would stop. Obviously there's the furiously-masturbating-Chris Haters that will continue to post saying he should kill himself or some shit like that, but I know the normal brained people here would take a serious apology seriously.

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

One girl could easily meet him in person then string him along and get tons of new content but the problem is they risk having their pic and eventually their name on the internet and forever associated with Chris. There are ways to minimize that risk but even talking about it hypothetically would be borderline troll planning.

Chris is trying to put up as many hoops to jump through as possible to prevent trolls but the only people willing to go through them all would be trolls.

 

[QI 541]

Amazing how someone can be so picky with choosing their friends despite having none.

 

[FearfulJesuit]

Chris just made a comment on his status...

 

[CatParty]

Lol

 

[Reshiram]

Notice the first thing he says is "pretty or beautiful"

 

[_blank_]

That is easy for you to say; your heart does not feel triple-flattened into a void of deepest sadness after losing the only closest friends you had ever before moving on into a failure of an "adulthood". Seriously, UNLESS, I actually, FINALLY, find IN PERSON and fall in love with a pretty or beautiful, and Truly Compassionate and Caring, woman who will Have To make the first move and everything, because after ALL of the emotional damage I have experienced, it will take a Honest and Truthful LOT to win me over. And I just feel total lack of true positivity, so ONLY in person consoling can help me even a smidge.

"I have gone through my tri-trails and tribulations... that would be considered warlike!"

1) You haven't seen your high school gal pals in over a decade. Get the fuck over it.
2) The main person whose fault it is that your "adulthoood" has been a failure is yourself. Get the fuck over yourself.
3) Waiting for this perfect girl to appear out of nowhere isn't going to happen unless you're gonna marry your Mom. And even then, I'm pretty close she's tired of your shit anyway.
4) Fuck you, Chris.

 

[Sakamoto]

I think this means the "Crystal dream" is dead. Chris realizes now that's it's just never gonna happen.

[youtube]BGS1rvRKR7A[/youtube]

 

[Batman VS Tony Danza]

31 years old and Chris still has no idea how friendships work. He watches cartoons centered around almost nothing but friendship yet here we are.