Feminism and leftist created the incel problem.

[Celestial Peace]

Are you in your late teens or early twenties?

I'm older than that.

I don't have the energy no more to keep up with youth antics. I'd rather be doing something productive with my life than acting like I'm in some high school drama.

It seems to me you have issues with accepting your age.

@spurggist, stop worrying about that. Learn to accept yourself and stop giving a fuck to social butterflies who'll only give you advice to keep embarrassing yourself.

You're past the age to keep searching for a partner. To society you should have had one already.

Just let go of it and live for yourself from now on.

 

[YHWH's Strongest Soldier]

You're past the age to keep searching for a partner.

Nigger, he's just 28. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you tell someone to give up when they still have literal decades ahead of them?

 

[Kiwisee]

Much of the death of "third spaces" is illusory, or can be explained by timidity of men.

It's mostly fear. I have noticed this about many of the individuals I know who are "male feminists", but not exclusively. This may apply to a person of any political persuasion, race, or creed. They use performative concern for women as a cover for their own anxiety and lack of courage.

I do not believe that approaching women is nearly as taboo or uncommon as those on social media platforms would like to make it.

Incels live in a prison of their own creation. They do not accept advice if it is given. Any advice will be picked apart and overly scrutinised to justify their own learned helplessness.

True. I've always tried to get myself involved in local bookclubs, which is full of all sorts of different people. Some younger than me and some are decades older with a wealth of knowledge they're happy to pass on to whomever listens.

The best advice I heard from a nice old lady in the book club was, “It is nice to be intelligent, but its smart to be nice.” when referring to interpersonal interactions. I used to exclusively socialize with middle aged women as a kid and it taught me how to read the room fast. It also taught me to pick up on subtle signs people give off when they're actually engaged in a conversation you're interested in.

I get the feeling that a lot of incels didn't have a lot of adults in their lives who were equipped to teach them how to socialize, period. While it's not impossible to find a partner with poor social skills (as long as manners come naturally to you); it is considerably harder.

Mind you, I still see the death of third spaces in my country as a factor for declining social skills. I also think helicopter parenting paired with unfettered internet access also destroyed an entire generation’s psyche.

People see how influencers behave and think its all of society that is like that.

 

[Celestial Peace]

Why would you tell someone to give up

You're missing the point: This dude is 28 while NEVER having had a girlfriend. How many men you personally know are like this?

It requires a certain kind of woman (which he'll find nowhere) to gloss over the fact he's almost 30 and has no relationship experience.

Being single wouldn't be a problem if he had previous relationship experience. But he doesn't.

It's like having no job experience at that same age. People will look at you as if you were a loser, because you are.

Plus, I ain't telling him to kill himself. I'm telling him to let go of this tfw no gf bullshit and get on with life.

 

[waffle]

@spurggist

Just spend the next couple years focusing on making money and developing as many social skills as possible, then date college girls or foreigners. Probably just exaggerate your romantic experience as much as possible without losing credibility. Your looking of groups that don't actually know what adult social skills or a lot of money looks like. You'll impress them early and if you choose well they'll like you enough to stick around.

 

[spurggist]

Nigger, he's just 28. What the fuck is wrong with you? Why would you tell someone to give up when they still have literal decades ahead of them?

Statistically speaking in every respect I am a failure and will remain so, its just how it is.

 

[Safari]

People see how influencers behave and think its all of society that is like that.

I hear online that women shouldn't be approached because they are afraid they will be murdered or raped if they reject someone. I also hear online that if a man approaches a woman and asks her out then he will be accused of rape or be publicly shamed.

It is all very melodramatic. No reality to it. And all these memes are very convenient for those who want to self sabotage. Catastrophize, compartmentalize. That's what they do.

Statistically speaking in every respect I am a failure and will remain so, its just how it is.

If you are a failure and have no hope, why should anyone care? Help yourself before you demand advice from others.

It would be shameful for even a cancer patient to act like this...

 

[spurggist]

I hear online that women shouldn't be approached because they are afraid they will be murdered or raped if they reject someone. I also hear online that if a man approaches a woman and asks her out then he will be accused of rape or be publicly shamed.

It is all very melodramatic. No reality to it. And all these memes are very convenient for those who want to self sabotage. Catastrophize, compartmentalize. That's what they do.

If you are a failure and have no hope, why should anyone care? Help yourself before you demand advice from others.

It would be shameful for even a cancer patient to act like this...

Please point out exactly where I demanded or even asked for advice from anyone.

 

[Safari]

Please point out exactly where I demanded or even asked for advice from anyone.

You posted in a thread without the expectation of being responded to? Are you retarded?

No one believes that.

 

[Celestial Peace]

It still amuses me people think incels have a chance at finding someone.

I'm unsure if people are trolling or are that retarded.

 

[Qonas]

The best advice I heard from a nice old lady in the book club was, “It is nice to be intelligent, but its smart to be nice.”

You can't be nice to women now. Doing so gets you the label of "nice guy", which has extremely negative connotations.

 

[Dawdler]

Good

For some reason your rant reminds me of BPD people trying to justify why they live the way they do. Lots of addiction to adrenaline and drama.

Good observation

 

[Kiwisee]

You can't be nice to women now. Doing so gets you the label of "nice guy", which has extremely negative connotations.

Define what “being nice” means to you specifically. If every single woman is put off by you being “nice”, it means you’re doing something really off putting.

The only common denominator here is you.

It still amuses me people think incels have a chance at finding someone.

Being an incel means that you’re a terminally online sperg, with ideas that doom you to stay out of the gene pool. Which is for the best for people who don’t wish to take easy steps to help themselves because wallowing in self pity is a lot easier.

 

[Celestial Peace]

Define what “being nice” means to you specifically

I'll take a guess and say that "being nice" in this context means "being courteous, kind and respectful towards women" something that women claim to like in a generic and vague manner.

But everybody knows that alone isn't enough.

Being an incel means that you’re a terminally online sperg

The "terminally online" part is a modern phenomenon. Incels are not something never seen before in society. They were just called by another name back then.

with ideas that doom you to stay out of the gene pool

These ideas are complementary but what's really behind all that misandry are psychological issues that are usually inherited and toxic upbringing. The Internet just gave them a place to vent it out but they would do it one way or another.

easy steps

Taking a shower or changing clothes ain't gonna make a loony less of a loony. If you're talking about seeing a shrink, well, therapy is something that can go on for one's entire life. Some mental damages are harder to fix than others.

And like I've wrote before an incel or a sperg who's past 25 and has no relationship experience ain't gonna find a woman willing to date them. Only in fanfics you'll see that happening.

 

[Kiwisee]

I'll take a guess and say that "being nice" in this context means "being courteous, kind and respectful towards women" something that women claim to like in a generic and vague manner.

But everybody knows that alone isn't enough.

What does being “courteous, kind and respectful” towards someone mean to you specifically. There’s a lot of people out there who describe themselves that way (Chris Chan, most infamously) who are anything but.

I’ve met many people who claimed that they were “nice”, but what “nice” meant to them was “if I don’t call this person a bitch, maybe she’ll fuck me”. Desperation can be smelled from a mile away, by anyone with any social awareness. Not just women.

Taking a shower or changing clothes ain't gonna make a loony less of a loony. If you're talking about seeing a shrink, well, therapy is something that can go on for one's entire life. Some mental damages are harder to fix than others.

Seeing a shrink and practicing good hygiene is a lot better than not doing so. When you’re unhygienic, you’re actually going to make your own mental health a lot worse than it has to be. Keeping your home organized is one small thing that helps with building confidence in oneself.

It’s why therapists always suggest cleaning your home and yourself as a first, crucial step to self improvement.

Incels have zero confidence, because they give themselves nothing to be confident about outside of vague ideas as to what “nice” means.

Wallowing in self pity is a defining characteristic of almost all incels, whenever they don’t have inflated grandiose ideas of themselves. Both traits are repulsive to just about everyone, not just women.

Women as a whole are a lot quicker to pick up on those things as red flags, because of how women grew up being socialized.

Which in turns boils down to the fact that women are the selectors. Humans are social animals, which means socialization comes with rules. Those who cannot follow social rules are doomed to never contribute to the gene pool. Those who refuse to learn and choose to isolate themselves would have never survived past 15 in ye olden days.

 

[Celestial Peace]

What does being “courteous, kind and respectful” towards someone mean to you specifically

I meant the dictionary definition and not my personal interpretation so as to not keep it vague and we start beating around the bush.

Or are you going to pretend that people don't need to have any sort of charisma which can vary from person to person? Basic social skills alone will make you a milquetoast.

I’ve met many people who claimed that they were “nice”, but what “nice” meant to them was “if I don’t call this person a bitch, maybe she’ll fuck me”.

Pure straw man. Being nice is being nice not what one thinks what is. But this is not enough that's what I'm saying.

Incels have zero confidence, because they give themselves nothing to be confident about outside of vague ideas as to what “nice” means.

It's asinine to expect a socially incompetent person to read between the lines and understand what "being nice" actually entails to. Also, confidence doesn't come from nowhere, it is taught. If they grew up in an environment where they weren't taught that how can you expect them to have it?

Wallowing in self pity is a defining characteristic of almost all incels

Comes with being depressive and shit. It's part of the package.

Women as a whole are a lot quicker to pick up on those things as red flags

Then it makes me wonder why there are so many abusive relationships if they're so sharp to pick up on that.

Humans are social animals

You're aware there's different levels of socializing, right? The social skills it requires to buy grocery at a convenience store is different from searching for a partner. Guess which one incels/spergs have?

There's too much of this "humans are social creatures" being thrown around but it seems to miss a lot of things.

Finding a girlfriend isn't that crucial for survival whereas landing a job is. And before you go with the "muh tribal instincts eek ook" fallacy we live in a modern society not in a mesolithic one. Try to consider that before conjecturing about humans as social creatures.

 

[Neodanthril]

I wonder how high the overlap for autism and in seldom are.

 

[Kiwisee]

Comes with being depressive and shit. It's part of the package.

And that’s why you sound like someone who needs an XXL prescription of antidepressants, seeing as how I’m easily able to get under your skin with truths.

Like how an addict will always make excuses for their addictions, Inceldom is a 100% self imposed mindset that doesn’t benefit them.

Getting help isn’t easy, but it’s worth it when you lift yourself out of the crab bucket mentality that comes with being an incel.

 

[Celestial Peace]

seeing as how I’m easily able to get under your skin with truths.

You're confusing understanding how a disease works with having it.

But, given your takes I would expect you'd write that while thinking "A-HA! Gotcha'!". Try harder next time.

 

[Maker's Mark]

I feel like the only Incels who deserve pity are the ones who are incel due to medical/health issues. The guys who are Incel because they watched too many Andrew Tate videos got there on their own.