Orbiter "Flutter" / "Egg" / "Cabbage Patch" / "Meryl" / "Food Lion lady" - Modern Christory's biggest mystery

[185405]

Half the discussion here is people going absolutely insane over not knowing who Flutter is and the other half is one guy who's entire life purpose seems to be shitting up this specific thread with erotic Chris fanfic. What a trainwreck.
Anyway, if Caden is reading this thread and is actually smart, he probably learned through this Finland thing that he can throw people off easily by manipulating Chris into doing something seemingly odd that people will find out about. I'm on team Amerimutt bragging about 1/1024th Finnish ancestry, I will gladly eat crow if proven otherwise but I very highly doubt this chick is coming all the way from Finland just to partake in this nonsense.

The only possibility is if Flutter is some kind of under the radar female chris chan equally retarded as him, otherwise yeah no way.

 

[Skitarii]

There's an example of one just ahead of you if you need any of course lmao

Armpit fag leaked his own info. KF didn't do shit

>inb4 "erm... ackshually, halals count as doxxxxxxing because kiwis doxxxxx themselves and... because it just does okay?"

 

[sadrefrigerator]

Caden likely doesn't make that much money.

Based of off the public Etsy sales numbers and average item price, Caden is making mid to high 5 digits at LEAST. If we just multiple average cost with sales, it easily reaches well into 6 digits.

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Based of off the public Etsy sales numbers and average item price, Caden is making mid to high 5 digits at LEAST. If we just multiple average cost with sales, it easily reaches well into 6 digits.

It's nuts that CWC shit is worth that much. I guess you can never go broke betting on autism

 

[Forest Portal Triumph 747]

if that data about how much money Chris is making for his praetor homies is true.....then he truly is a bonafide magician. Which means it's even less far fetched that he has a bonafide girlfriend!

 

[sadrefrigerator]

It's nuts that CWC shit is worth that much. I guess you can never go broke betting on autism

The Chrischan brand was always worth gold. Chris was just too lazy and lacked a normal understanding of money to monetize himself.

if that data about how much money Chris is making for his praetor homies is true.....then he truly is a bonafide magician. Which means it's even less far fetched that he has a bonafide girlfriend!

I actually respect this part of Caden. He's a real hustler, even if he an entrepreneur in autism. Disregarding the fact that he's abusing a retarded motherfucker, very few people have the courage and drive to start their own business, and even fewer succeed

 

[Forest Portal Triumph 747]

I'm sure Caden really does have talent as an entrepreneur, but the fact that people are presumably spending money on rocks purported to originate from the Chandler homestead speaks to a more SUPERNATURAL element being at play.

 

[PhoBingas]

my nigga Chris Chad went to jail for around a year and a half because, from his point of view, he blabbed too much about someone he was fucking

Caden is probably Chris' corner demon sitting out of frame reminding him to keep his autistic trap shut.

Do you think that is possible?

I think it's more possible that Flutter is Caden's sister that bounced around foster care with him, if I'm remembering the lore right.

I actually respect this part of Caden. He's a real hustler, even if he an entrepreneur in autism. Disregarding the fact that he's abusing a retarded motherfucker, very few people have the courage and drive to start their own business, and even fewer succeed

If he was a half-decent hustler, he wouldn't have got busted slinging mushrooms.

 

[Pedophobe]

Chris learning Finnish because Flutter is Finnish is too normal of a reason.

"Makes sense therefore it didn't happen" is a good framework for evaluating claims about Chris-Chan.

If he was a half-decent hustler, he wouldn't have got busted slinging mushrooms.

His heart might be in the wrong place but at the same time he's just a dumb kid, mistakes happen.

 

[Optimus Prime]

if that data about how much money Chris is making for his praetor homies is true.....then he truly is a bonafide magician. Which means it's even less far fetched that he has a bonafide girlfriend!

I'm sure Caden really does have talent as an entrepreneur, but the fact that people are presumably spending money on rocks purported to originate from the Chandler homestead speaks to a more SUPERNATURAL element being at play.

No.

It's more that Caden actually knows how to monetize Chris. Most of that money isn't even going to Chris, nor does Chris have any idea of the true amount since Caden is handling most of his finances. Remember that Chris tried doing this same shit on eBay for years and repeatedly had to beg for money to actually mail things out to people because he blew the money the second it got to his digital wallet. Ever since Caden's been involved, this hasn't happened once.

I'm also still wondering if it isn't an elaborate money laundering front for Caden's drug enterprise that actually does turn a slight legit profit margin - I recall hearing a story about some woman who 'sold knit baby hats on ebay' because that was how her Johns paid her for prostitution services. With Chris, I'm sure there are weens out there actually buying this shit, but it would explain how the numbers are so high for such an extremely niche enterprise revolving around a 40 year old manchild, if most of those sales numbers and reviews are fake.

We only even know Praetor is involved because we were monitoring them before Chris went to jail. Post-jail, Caden has hidden himself very well to anybody who doesn't know who he is and where to even start looking for clues of his presence. Anybody looking at this stupid shit on Etsy would see a retard capitalizing on his e-fame and look no further. A perfect cover for a small time money laundering front, especially if Chris himself isn't aware of it.

 

[PhoBingas]

I'm also still wondering if it isn't an elaborate money laundering front for Caden's drug enterprise that actually does turn a slight legit profit margin - I recall hearing a story about some woman who 'sold knit baby hats on ebay' because that was how her Johns paid her for prostitution services. With Chris, I'm sure there are weens out there actually buying this shit, but it would explain how the numbers are so high for such an extremely niche enterprise revolving around a 40 year old manchild, if most of those sales numbers and reviews are fake.

That's an angle I never really thought of. Chris could be used to either launder money or covertly fulfill online orders for molly, shrooms or weed or whatever he's selling. If Caden had half a brain, he probably wouldn't tell Chris any of it, because I doubt Chris would keep his mouth shut. I could see Chris bragging that he sold drugs if he thinks it'll get him china.

 

[Optimus Prime]

That's an angle I never really thought of. Chris could be used to either launder money or covertly fulfill online orders for molly, shrooms or weed or whatever he's selling. If Caden had half a brain, he probably wouldn't tell Chris any of it, because I doubt Chris would keep his mouth shut. I could see Chris bragging that he sold drugs if he thinks it'll get him china.

Exactly, it makes no sense for Caden to play IRL Sims with Chris in this manner - buy him a house, a car, all sorts of toys, manage his personal finances, etc. - for no reason other than simply selling sonichu merch that has an extremely limited market to begin with. If it was just the merch alone, Caden could easily just arrange things to make it himself and completely cut Chris out since Sonichu itself isn't a trademarked IP (and even if it was, Chris wouldn't be in a position to sue over it - he's only got his head above water right now because of Caden).

Not to mention the fuck-off amount of cameras we know got mounted on the Big Island house. It's fucking Chris, in the middle of goddamn nowhere, on a road leading to a paper mill or something. That's only a number of cameras I would expect on a AirBnB leasing house...or something that's got something far more valuable than a 40 year old moron living in it. It's also a pretty big house, far more space than even Chris and the Toy Horde 3.0 needs, and we have no information regarding if Chris even is allowed in every room in the house and if anybody else comes and goes from there.

Plus, we already know Caden has his fingers in being a small time drug producer from his rap sheet and previous arrest. And the amount of money calculated from the Etsy page makes a lot more sense if it's a front for laundering drug money that's masked by actual legit sales to idiots buying gravel from 14BC's driveway (allegedly). With Chris potentially being set up as a fall guy if the operation is found out since who else is so tightly associated with Sonichu?

It's why Flutter is such an interesting facet of all this, because how she fits into the puzzle is still unclear. She showed up roughly around the same time that all this shit Caden had arranged came into play, and what little we've seen of her movements doesn't have a discernable motive or pattern as of yet. That she is tied to Praetor is certain in my mind, however, because she appeared at the same time Caden played guardian angel and gave Chris an out to being a homeless fuck on the street.

 

[King Kiwi]

My dear Kiwis, Caden is a faggot with an unconfirmed micro weiner.

The more pressing matter is that he's a tard extortionist and a would-be mushroom peddler. That much we can all agree with.

 

[BubbaRobot887]

Yeah, Flutter is either the true and honest sweetheart or she is Caden's partner in the drug business and working with him to launder money.
If it is the latter and they ever get caught there is a good chance they have set things up for Chris to take the fall and he could be looking at a long time in jail on drug and money laundering charges. Chris is the perfect fallguy.

 

[Charnel Ground]

Yeah, Flutter is either the true and honest sweetheart or she is Caden's partner in the drug business and working with him to launder money.
If it is the latter and they ever get caught there is a good chance they have set things up for Chris to take the fall and he could be looking at a long time in jail on drug and money laundering charges. Chris is the perfect fallguy.

Maybe Flutter is smuggling high quality spores and party pills from the netherlands in her chipmunk cheek pouches.

 

[PhoBingas]

Not to mention the fuck-off amount of cameras we know got mounted on the Big Island house. It's fucking Chris, in the middle of goddamn nowhere, on a road leading to a paper mill or something. That's only a number of cameras I would expect on a AirBnB leasing house...or something that's got something far more valuable than a 40 year old moron living in it. It's also a pretty big house, far more space than even Chris and the Toy Horde 3.0 needs, and we have no information regarding if Chris even is allowed in every room in the house and if anybody else comes and goes from there.

For a bit, I figured Caden was going to set up some sort of Sam Hyde's Fishtank-esque situation with all the cameras, but when nothing came of it, it sort of slipped my mind. Wild speculation on my part, but Caden might be using Chris to cover for a stash house.
Moreover, Flutter might be someone in Caden's circle that he's told "Hey, pal around with this tard and I'll give you a quarter ounce of shrooms every so often."

 

[Forest Portal Triumph 747]

Yeah, Flutter is either the true and honest sweetheart or she is Caden's partner in the drug business and working with him to launder money.
If it is the latter and they ever get caught there is a good chance they have set things up for Chris to take the fall and he could be looking at a long time in jail on drug and money laundering charges. Chris is the perfect fallguy.

If true, I don't think they'd be able to able to set up Chris for the fall. There's too much attention on him and authorities would realize he's too retarded to be a culprit, which would make it even more obvious he's the fallguy.

 

[Optimus Prime]

For a bit, I figured Caden was going to set up some sort of Sam Hyde's Fishtank-esque situation with all the cameras, but when nothing came of it, it sort of slipped my mind. Wild speculation on my part, but Caden might be using Chris to cover for a stash house.
Moreover, Flutter might be someone in Caden's circle that he's told "Hey, pal around with this tard and I'll give you a quarter ounce of shrooms every so often."

Plus, we still haven't nailed down where she's even from, since we can only trace back to Charlotte-Douglas which doesn't help much since that's a major hub for American Airlines both internationally and domestic (crosschecking the gate number on the provided information, the gate was from Terminal B which is exclusively AA), and we don't know if she was going on a trip or returning home on that flight either.

That said, looking back at the BABScon email, the fact Chris said she was his "female friend" instead of his straight up "girlfriend", means at least as of early March we can say Chris himself does not consider her his significant other. As for him being all touchy feely and shit...that's what got him in trouble at TooManyGames and the idiot has never had an idea of personal space, so specifically because it's Chris we can't really count much of what he's showing as PDA to actually mean it's a serious romance going on since he does that kind of crap regardless.

If true, I don't think they'd be able to able to set up Chris for the fall. There's too much attention on him and authorities would realize he's too retarded to be a culprit, which would make it even more obvious he's the fallguy.

All Chris would need to be is a distraction long enough for Caden to cover his tracks. Remember he's handling ALL the financial information, he could easily leave Chris holding the bag and Chris wouldn't be able to explain anything because Chris.

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

That said, looking back at the BABScon email, the fact Chris said she was his "female friend" instead of his straight up "girlfriend", means at least as of early March we can say Chris himself does not consider her his significant other.

Especially because this communication was leaked and not put out with the control of Chris or a handler.

 

[sadrefrigerator]

I'm also still wondering if it isn't an elaborate money laundering front for Caden's drug enterprise that actually does turn a slight legit profit margin - I recall hearing a story about some woman who 'sold knit baby hats on ebay' because that was how her Johns paid her for prostitution services. With Chris, I'm sure there are weens out there actually buying this shit, but it would explain how the numbers are so high for such an extremely niche enterprise revolving around a 40 year old manchild, if most of those sales numbers and reviews are fake.

Why is it hard to believe that there are enough retards who want to buy chrischan merch? He's the most documented man in history, and the motherfucking put him in from of new and old followers a like. Merch sales is very hit or miss for internet celebrities. The ones who do well off merch sales make a lot more than Caden's making off Etsy with less views.

If it was just the merch alone, Caden could easily just arrange things to make it himself and completely cut Chris out since Sonichu itself isn't a trademarked IP (and even if it was, Chris wouldn't be in a position to sue over it - he's only got his head above water right now because of Caden).

Anyone can make sonichu medallions, but only the official cwcmart sells medallion blessed by sonichu himself. None of the other ones would sell.

Po

f it is the latter and they ever get caught there is a good chance they have set things up for Chris to take the fall and he could be looking at a long time in jail on drug and money laundering charges. Chris is the perfect fallguy.

Police are not retarded. Narcotics division spend all their time breaking up drug rings. They aren't going to believe an autistic motherfucker is the mastermind when there's a convicted drug dealer connected.