He Man Reboot Announced

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I want to talk about this promotional picture making the rounds for a second because it sums this shit show up perfectly. Let me explain in autistic and pedantic detail why I hate it and you should too.

Let's just start with the elephant in the room. Teela is front and Center while Prince Adam is in the back. Probably the first thing you notice and basically says what clownfish rumored a year ago. This is the Teela show.

Next let's talk about the set up. Everyone in this picture is carrying Arms. In the case of beastman his arms are literally his Arms. All are striking powerful combat stances with their weapons. Except for one person. Prince Adam. This means that not only is Prince Adam not the focus of the show, the show wants you to know that he is actually a weakling in need of protection.

Now let's talk about the design of the characters themselves. For the claims that people hate this because it has a strong female lead are wrong. Whatever is front and center in this picture is most decidedly NOT a woman. You can tell your brain it is all day long, but your subconscious will never believe you.

Starting with the shoulders and muscle design, Teela and Beastman have very similar lines. Very broad, well defined with a boxy layer. You can tell that for the first penciling of this frame the Artist used the exact same template for Beastman and Teela. The lines of the shoulder and arms are identical. The beastman lining is just slightly longer to make him appear taller then Teela. Functionally when you juxtapose the two your brain sees a big man and a slightly smaller man.

No effort is made to break this as the next thing your eyes will do will be to try and verify first glance. If Teela does have secondary female characteristics (boobs) they are hidden by her pose and in every other picture I've seen of her are very understated. The hips are no help either, especially standing next to beastman. Remember the artist used the same template outline for both characters and you can see Beastmans waist taper in a very similar manner to Teelas. Made all the worst by the overlapping sword belts which break the flow of her design and prevent your brain from just editing in the missing hourglass shape of a woman.

It all just adds to the image that Teela is in fact a man. The showrunners can argue that He is not but the simple fact is they drew a slightly smaller version of Beastman, and gave him less fur and a female voice actress. I am sure if I ever watch this abortion hearing a woman's voice coming out of what my brain is clearly categorizing as a man will cause an immediate dive into the uncanny Valley.

Now let's talk about Prince Adam. Whoever drew the first sketch of this very clearly used a female body template to start with as you have all the standard design of symmetry between the head and legs, with the tapered waist and hips in between. It is slightly less Pronounced then it could be, but it's helped by the fact that his vest is cut for female fashion with the plunging V shape designed to support and show off the inside curves of a woman's breasts. Additionally the belt is not located at the typical place for men, on the hips but rather slightly higher above the hips. Again, a facet of female fashion designed to emphasize the apex of the torso curve. Unlike Teelas very masculine sword belts, Prince Adam's belt is designed to draw your eye along the curve of his body in order to emphasize his feminine attributes.

I imagine hearing a boys voice coming out of a woman's body will also cause a plunge straight down into uncanny Valley. Your brain will see all of this in half a second and immediately issue you the predator warning or disgust reaction.

It's all in all a VERY disturbing picture. And remember, someone spent hours drawing this. Every line is deliberately placed. These things are deliberately done. When we talk about subversion it's not just in the story telling.
 
It's bad enough that all the rumours were true, them killing off He-Man TWICE, killed off Orko, made King Gray Skull Black, which makes no sense when all his children are white, but Teela, oh God, Teela is such a cunt in this show.
Teela Master of the Universe 2.PNG
When Man-at-Arm has to tell Kill Randor that his son is dead and is He-Man, King Randor gets so pissed he banishes Man-at-Arm for failing to save. Wanna know how Teela reacts, which results in abandoning her post?

A- She despairs because she ultimately failed the protect Adam and feels unworthy of the role of protector.

B-She gets upset that King Randor would dare to banish her father, even threatened to execute him despite years of service.

C- Whine at everyone for not telling her the truth about He-Man is Price Adam and basically say, "fuck the world, I'm on my own. you all can suck it."

If you guessed C, then congratulation you made Teela into the biggest self-important brat in this universe and to add insult to injury, she ends up blaming Adam for not telling her he was He-Man and complained about not trusting her with the truth even though he sacrificed his life to save the world.

Here's the thing, the reason why Adam didn't tell Teela about his secret identity is that Skelator spent years after the power of Grey Skull which is strong enough to take over all Eternia, so if Adam reveals who is, Skelator would constantly invade Adam kingdom and put his family at risk, guess what happens at the end of this show.
Teela Master of the Universe 1.PNG

This is the same reason why people hated Amber from invincible and Korra from Avatar.
That act like the world should revolve around them and blame everyone for petty shit.
As a result, they become so insufferable for audiences, and they walk away because they don't want to deal with their horrible behaviours.

So yeah, fuck this show and fuck Kevin Smith for lying.
 
Jesus Christ.


Yes, that's the actual dialogue.

Yep, he literally died for her and everyone else, saving the entire world. And she just makes it all about her. Literal narcissism.

Sarah Michelle Geller is horribly miscast in this. That character writing is poor, but she just has this smug 40 year old wine aunt voice she used that just screams "IT'S ALL ABOUT ME!"

Also, it gets worse. Watch for screen caps. A LOT of dialogue is terrible and makes the characters seem like they are BPD.

At the very least, the Sailor Moon transformation is going to get a ton of memes.
 
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Jesus Christ.


Yes, that's the actual dialogue.
This is precisely why nobody likes this version of Teela.
She makes everything about herself and even blames everyone, even the dead, for not trusting her with vital information.

It's just as bad as Amber blaming Mark for not telling her that he was Invincible.
\

These are the modern female heroes of this generation.
Vindictive, bitter, cunts.
 
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It's bad enough that all the rumours were true, them killing off He-Man TWICE, killed off Orko, made King Gray Skull Black, which makes no sense when all his children are white, but Teela, oh God, Teela is such a cunt in this show.
...quite a lot of death for a supposed kid's cartoon which leads me to ask who was this for? It can't be for kids, otherwise why would you kill off characters never mind of all characters He-man/Prince Adam. It also can't be for fans for pretty much the same reason. So why even bother?

Edit : I'm interested how the toy sales will fare after this debacle.
 
It's a well known fact that Kevin Smith is heavily despised in Hollywood. He's a lazy filmmaker, he has a big fucking mouth, and he's pissed off A LOT of people. I think this is why he is so over-the-top with his fanboy-isms because his "fanbase" is the only thing keeping him employed. Back in the day, Smith was one of the few "celebrities" that remained accessible to normal schlubs. He would always do the "I'm a geeky fanboy just like YOU" thing.
After Weinstein went down, there was no one left in Hollywood to protect Smith, so he had to really lean into the fanboy identity to remain employed. This is another interesting point about Smith: For someone who claims to be pro-women's rights and anti-rape culture, he sure as fuck didn't seem to mind all the raping that Harvey was doing. Smith worked with Weinstein for over 20 years almost exclusively. There is NO WAY he didn't know what Harv was doing to the actresses. Yet Smith would constantly promote rape charities like RAINN, and champion female empowerment.
Therefore, Smith is an amoral piece of shit and a hypocrite.

I'm actually beginning to suspect that MOTU was a setup to destroy what's left of this fanbase, thus permanently ending his career.
 
I've just finished the first 5 episodes and so far it writes like Kevin Smith's edgy fanfic where everything and everyone is so grimdark and angsty, not helped by the cliffhanger ending.

Teela from the get go is so antagonistic and bitter towards everything that isn't her black butt buddy.

Speaking of black butt buddies, Andra is superfluous to the whole story. You could easily write her out and nothing would change. I heard she's supposed to be the audiences POV but she certainly doesn't ask questions or make commentary about this fantasy/sci-fi world, she just throws cybernetic shuriken and goes along with Teela. There's that conflict with wanting to go to Grayskull in episode 2 but thats resolved in under a minute. Andra hardly ever argues with Teela after that. she's only good for queer-bait.
 
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