- Joined
- Dec 26, 2019
I got a big shipment of dip and a buncha liquor, bought some games on sale and I have plenty of food. Talking to somebody cute on a local discord and hopefully will disappoint her sexually very soon.
How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check
- Thread starter Milk Mage
- Start date
Leonard Helplessness
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2018
I've never before been happier to have a job where I'm busy, I'm enjoying myself, and I'm doing work that makes me feel fulfilled. I spend the day doing things that directly help people and contribute to society.
As long as I'm working, I'm not thinking about the outside world. Working keeps me sane. Weekends suck more because I have less to do in my present situation. Shit's still locked down, and the riots both wrecked a lot of places I liked to go to and will ensure that shit is locked down even longer. One of the only places where I can unwind is the internet, and the internet fucking sucks these days.
There's a temptation to say that this is a new phenomenon, that the internet has turned people into monsters and set them against each other in a bloodthirsty frenzy that has finally spilled over into the streets. There's a temptation to place all the blame at the feet of some living person or some contemporary political movement. There's a particularly strong temptation to be angry, to fight back. What manages to put a damper on that anger is the realization that every way that I could fight back at the present moment would be as arbitrary, cruel, destructive, and self-defeating as what is going on the streets right now.
It helps when I remember that senseless, indiscriminate violence and destruction are not new phenomena. They literally define human history. As long as nations have existed, there has existed organized, mass, indiscriminate, nationally-sponsored violence. I've even read hypotheses that nations arose to stop people from killing anybody that wasn't a friend or family member, by providing an abstract collective identity that united people who were otherwise strangers. The end result of this was, of course, was that the killing and destruction escalated to a national scale rather than staying at the community level.
Humans are inclined to prey on each other. Society is not usually a free for all and we're usually good to our neighbors, but we need only the flimsiest of justifications to go into murder-rape-destroy mode. Natural selection has caused us to all be descended from murderers and rapists. We're genetically predisposed to spread chaos and commit atrocities. I do not like a lot of the Bible, but it got many things right about the human condition, starting with the story of Cain and Abel, the first two humans ever born. I'll paraphrase that story:
"Once upon a time there were two brothers named Cain and Abel who lived in the middle of nowhere. They worked the land and worshipped an invisible man in the sky. The land was lush and fertile, and the brothers prospered and had all the good things they could wish for. One day, they decided to thank the invisible man in the sky for being so good to them, by offering sacrifices. Nothing happened, but Cain got it into his head that the invisible man in the sky liked Abel's sacrifice more than Cain's, and Cain got into such an autistic rage about it that he murdered Abel. The invisible man in the sky found out and appeared -- very visibly -- before Cain and asked what the fuck was wrong with him; Cain responded by being a snide, self-righteous, unapologetic little shit. Cain then banged a bunch of women and sired an entire world-spanning species of self-righteous murderers who ruined absolutely everything forever."
Look at history for any length of time and you'll run into shit like the Thirty Years War, which occurred for so many petty and incomprehensible reasons that it's practically impossible to figure out why the fuck it happened in the first place or why it went on for so long and caused so much destruction and death. You'll also run into the War of the Book, which is exactly what it sounds like. War exists because humans will transform into murder machines upon being given the flimsiest possible justification -- differences of religion, language, appearance, belief, property, values, anything -- to righteously harm each other.
In the face of this, all I can do is stay calm and avoid the screaming of the mobs. I fear that if I listen for too long to either the dogma of the rioters or the people documenting the rioters' violence and destruction, I'll become infected by the rioters' bloodthirst. Hate begets hate, rage begets rage, autism begets autism. I do believe there is good in humanity, but that goodness is not served by giving into our predatory urges. He who fights with monsters and yadda yadda.
tl;dr no gay ops.
As long as I'm working, I'm not thinking about the outside world. Working keeps me sane. Weekends suck more because I have less to do in my present situation. Shit's still locked down, and the riots both wrecked a lot of places I liked to go to and will ensure that shit is locked down even longer. One of the only places where I can unwind is the internet, and the internet fucking sucks these days.
There's a temptation to say that this is a new phenomenon, that the internet has turned people into monsters and set them against each other in a bloodthirsty frenzy that has finally spilled over into the streets. There's a temptation to place all the blame at the feet of some living person or some contemporary political movement. There's a particularly strong temptation to be angry, to fight back. What manages to put a damper on that anger is the realization that every way that I could fight back at the present moment would be as arbitrary, cruel, destructive, and self-defeating as what is going on the streets right now.
It helps when I remember that senseless, indiscriminate violence and destruction are not new phenomena. They literally define human history. As long as nations have existed, there has existed organized, mass, indiscriminate, nationally-sponsored violence. I've even read hypotheses that nations arose to stop people from killing anybody that wasn't a friend or family member, by providing an abstract collective identity that united people who were otherwise strangers. The end result of this was, of course, was that the killing and destruction escalated to a national scale rather than staying at the community level.
Humans are inclined to prey on each other. Society is not usually a free for all and we're usually good to our neighbors, but we need only the flimsiest of justifications to go into murder-rape-destroy mode. Natural selection has caused us to all be descended from murderers and rapists. We're genetically predisposed to spread chaos and commit atrocities. I do not like a lot of the Bible, but it got many things right about the human condition, starting with the story of Cain and Abel, the first two humans ever born. I'll paraphrase that story:
"Once upon a time there were two brothers named Cain and Abel who lived in the middle of nowhere. They worked the land and worshipped an invisible man in the sky. The land was lush and fertile, and the brothers prospered and had all the good things they could wish for. One day, they decided to thank the invisible man in the sky for being so good to them, by offering sacrifices. Nothing happened, but Cain got it into his head that the invisible man in the sky liked Abel's sacrifice more than Cain's, and Cain got into such an autistic rage about it that he murdered Abel. The invisible man in the sky found out and appeared -- very visibly -- before Cain and asked what the fuck was wrong with him; Cain responded by being a snide, self-righteous, unapologetic little shit. Cain then banged a bunch of women and sired an entire world-spanning species of self-righteous murderers who ruined absolutely everything forever."
Look at history for any length of time and you'll run into shit like the Thirty Years War, which occurred for so many petty and incomprehensible reasons that it's practically impossible to figure out why the fuck it happened in the first place or why it went on for so long and caused so much destruction and death. You'll also run into the War of the Book, which is exactly what it sounds like. War exists because humans will transform into murder machines upon being given the flimsiest possible justification -- differences of religion, language, appearance, belief, property, values, anything -- to righteously harm each other.
In the face of this, all I can do is stay calm and avoid the screaming of the mobs. I fear that if I listen for too long to either the dogma of the rioters or the people documenting the rioters' violence and destruction, I'll become infected by the rioters' bloodthirst. Hate begets hate, rage begets rage, autism begets autism. I do believe there is good in humanity, but that goodness is not served by giving into our predatory urges. He who fights with monsters and yadda yadda.
tl;dr no gay ops.
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- Joined
- Jan 28, 2019
Try to stay comfy fren, limiting the amount of news intake certainly helps. There's definitely a propensity, particularly of late, to become anxious about world events that are realistically out of your control. Focusing on things you can improve for yourself can impact help avoid/limit this; it's part-frustrating & part-freeing that knowing you can't really impact a lot of what's going on.
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2020
Work has laid off some people and I've been made responsible for more stuff as a result. No payraise yet, but I'll be addressing it when the world starts to calm down.
I signed up for a java certification course this week since it will ultimately only help me at my current job and give me a better backup plan than returning to restaurants since I'm a dumb college dropout. It feels good to be using my brain again.
I'm on day 1 of quitting drinking (again, isolation broke me) and plan on quitting smoking after these last 2 juul pods are empty (I know, I should just throw them out) will update in two weeks if I remember. My credit is on it's way back up and I'm considering a new car in the near future.
Sucks that the world's gone to shit while I've finally begun to get my shit together.
I signed up for a java certification course this week since it will ultimately only help me at my current job and give me a better backup plan than returning to restaurants since I'm a dumb college dropout. It feels good to be using my brain again.
I'm on day 1 of quitting drinking (again, isolation broke me) and plan on quitting smoking after these last 2 juul pods are empty (I know, I should just throw them out) will update in two weeks if I remember. My credit is on it's way back up and I'm considering a new car in the near future.
Sucks that the world's gone to shit while I've finally begun to get my shit together.
- Joined
- Feb 10, 2019
My grandmother's cockatiels died 
- Joined
- May 14, 2019
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2013
I'm taking a lil' break from most social media right now until everybody stops trying to rip eachother's nipples off. I was on the verge of starting a dumb internet slapfight with someone so figured it was time for a nice time-out becasue otherwise I'm just contributing to the bullshit. It's amazing how much better my anxiety is just by limiting that and doing things that aren't utterly useless.
I'm already getting a ton more art shit done than usual. I might stretch my sabbatical out over the whole month. It's been too long since I've done any serious still-lifes, anatomy studies, or just repainted another artist's work as a practice session. Time to git gud
I've heard some news that might mean I'm going back to work which is nice, I don't like sitting around feeling like a NEET.
I'm already getting a ton more art shit done than usual. I might stretch my sabbatical out over the whole month. It's been too long since I've done any serious still-lifes, anatomy studies, or just repainted another artist's work as a practice session. Time to git gud
I've heard some news that might mean I'm going back to work which is nice, I don't like sitting around feeling like a NEET.
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2018
New project is kicking in. Talked to boyfriend today. I got some family friends here. feels good man, don't wanna jinx it but I'm pretty satisfied for the time being.
I honestly don't get the whole 2020 the year from hell meme. I decided shit wasn't gonna suck so it doesn't and I actually decided to take initiative. World events can take a backseat to what actually matters in life. The world has seen worse too. Much, much much worse. These people would have lost their minds living in 1918 as there was a global war and pandemic. 1942 wouldn't have treated them better. Forget any of that, the world could have ended in 1962 with the cuba missile crisis. Shits happening now and I betcha it'll be comparitively silent by 2025 as all the tism wouldve been released. Then we'd all be like "remember when stuff actually used to happen?"
I honestly don't get the whole 2020 the year from hell meme. I decided shit wasn't gonna suck so it doesn't and I actually decided to take initiative. World events can take a backseat to what actually matters in life. The world has seen worse too. Much, much much worse. These people would have lost their minds living in 1918 as there was a global war and pandemic. 1942 wouldn't have treated them better. Forget any of that, the world could have ended in 1962 with the cuba missile crisis. Shits happening now and I betcha it'll be comparitively silent by 2025 as all the tism wouldve been released. Then we'd all be like "remember when stuff actually used to happen?"
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- Joined
- May 24, 2019
Have you gone and got your rabies shots, just in case?
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2017
apparently she was into me back and I was merely too much of a wuss to do anything! why am I like this
I planted my vegetables today so I hope they grow nice and strong.
- Joined
- May 14, 2019
Nope
I think that if the girl knows your intentions (which she should if she's from Tinder) and cares she'll initiate a kiss herself.
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- Joined
- Dec 10, 2018
One of my nigger clients doesn't feel like paying his invoice. He's not literally a nigger, but on a spiritual level he is.
Honestly I'm thinking of catching a cheap flight to Vegas and just cutting the loss.
Honestly I'm thinking of catching a cheap flight to Vegas and just cutting the loss.
- Joined
- May 24, 2019
Just saying it might be a good idea.
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2016
To the rest of the world the United States is a reality TV show though, that's why there's Team Jacob vs. Team Edward rioters in Gothenburg and other parts of europe over George Floyd's death.
Is planting vegetables a euphemism?
My mental health's been gradually deteriorating for the past three months and has gotten noticeably bad as of late. I'm not suicidal or anything but I don't know how to cope with the world anymore.
- Joined
- May 24, 2019
Have a wank.
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2017
no
Got a bean plant, some cucumbers, and a zucchini
I’ve heard anyone can grow zucchini so I’m hopeful that includes me
- Joined
- Sep 7, 2016
If you want food tomorrow get chickens today! And just go for it dude, from my perspective it looks like angry incel culture came from the fear of being rebuffed and accused of sexual improprieties. You can call it being love-shy.
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2020
i'm alright thanks for asking. i've got a week where I don't really need to do much but should probably still be working on things because deadlines, but I won't start until the last viable second. its a feeling of boredom tinged with stress, i can't say the self care movement is helpful for people like me.
interpersonally i'm fading away a bit and trying to find more things to do alone on the internet, got through a whole book, might online shop some happiness.
Mostly I want to experience enough each day to have something interesting to think about before I go to sleep. But then, you wake up the next day and realize your obsession over something has worn thin, and you have to find something else. I've fallen into that hole of doing things just because I have to and then maybe celebrating doing them with some socially acceptable drugs. but things could be far worse
interpersonally i'm fading away a bit and trying to find more things to do alone on the internet, got through a whole book, might online shop some happiness.
Mostly I want to experience enough each day to have something interesting to think about before I go to sleep. But then, you wake up the next day and realize your obsession over something has worn thin, and you have to find something else. I've fallen into that hole of doing things just because I have to and then maybe celebrating doing them with some socially acceptable drugs. but things could be far worse
you should reach outwards. whenever my mental shit is going crazy its because im spiraling from the inside and am only relying on my own shit brain, which just digs itself into more shit. I think when you fear coping with the world you just have to take the plunge and slowly start interacting with it again, which is vague advice, but do what you can while you can even if its just for a laugh
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