How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Stan]

If you're working or studying, (or both!) then I would absolutely expect for others in the household to pick up and clean after themselves. One of the things that made me certain that I was choosing the right man to marry was my husband's patience when I was learning how to manage the household when we were newlyweds, and I was sure to repay it when he was building up his career and money and time were tight. I'd have felt pretty resentful if I was the only one expected to carry our household without fumbling and without support.

I work part-time, 25 hours per week. I'd share more but it'd be PLing, but thank you for your support and kind words.

 

[Lone Wandering Courier]

Having a cold really sucks even if it could be so much worse.

 

[Betonhaus]

My feet hurt. But I didn't spend all day with my ass on a chair so that's an improvement.

 

[Mayor Cody Travers]

Spoiler: Warning: large and autistic update since my last post.

I've since moved into the relatives' house. They are good to me, and do not ask anything big of me and while I've made it clear I'm on tap to help with anything, my aunt and family matriarch in turn made it clear they appreciate it but will absolutely not make me beholden to them as I was to the lazy members of my immediate family. So I've been able to feel good with tasks they needed a pair of hands for, but still free to keep making myself more relaxed and de-stress myself from feeling I couldn't actually do anything in my day, lest I need to be by family "just in case" for anything. Hopefully, the job interviews I have tomorrow and Thursday - Thursday's the one I really want - will go well. I'm ready to stop being between jobs and get back to work. I hope Thursday's interview will go well. I really do.

I'm trying to find stuff to do and meet up at. In full irony of above an event I planned to attend tonight I had to pass up on to help relatives (and I won't blame them, because I didn't think they'd need me nor would they have asked had they known - it was last-second help), but I have a second event Thursday and we'll see how it goes. I know, cringe and all to have to find stuff to do, but I'm willing to take it in return for working on learning to socialize much better than I usually do. It goes hand in hand with finally accepting someone near-and-dear to me will not work out past a very strong friendship. Truth be told... she is one of the best people I have ever met, my best friend, and always looks out for me, and I've always tried my best to do the same for her. And thus I'm feeling relieved my "acceptance" phase seems to finally be happening - I want to focus on myself for a while, not fret on anything deep relationship-wise, and learn to network and interact with lots of people again. The last time I did so successfully was years ago when I forced myself to begin talking to others to have hands on deck if I ever needed help with an abandoned cat I adopted. I had drive back then thanks to that cat and it's really driven home I do best when I have someone or something to be my best for, but I need to think of myself as worthy of as well, somehow.

The above goes hand-in-hand with this post I made in the whatcha reading thread about a book with short stories on cats. I always had the idea to volunteer at a shelter somewhere and the stories have quite tugged at me and made me remember how I felt on keeping my previously-mentioned cat and the family pets overall safe and happy - it gave me a genuine peace I never knew before in my life and cleared the depression in my head like nothing else did. I like to suspect if I can get that rolling I'll feel that peace again, helping some souls that need love, and perhaps becoming a crazy cat dude and that aged fitness pseudo-monk just relaxing in solitude as my future if I can't really learn how to make connections. And, really, I do want to make some. Believe me on THAT. But at least I think I finally know some things to fall back upon to feel good with in case it doesn't work out.

 

[Betonhaus]

I slipped on the ice and twisted my ankle really really bad and can't walk on it. I'm at the hospital waiting to see a doctor to get x-rays

 

[Storm Surge]

My friend of many years has come out as trans, MtF. He's a depressed failure at life, so I figure his dysphoria is a symptom rather than the root problem, but I find it hard to discuss that matter with him without wanting to physically slap some sense into him. He's already got some brain-dead takes (like being a marxist) but he's still my friend and I want to help him to avoid disfiguring himself. Part of the problem is that we've just made some new friends who are trans, and they're decent people, but their first idea of him coming out as trans is to support him.

Now, I do feel like some people should get gender affirming care, but my buddy isn't one of them. I don't fault the other trannies for supporting his transition, they've had their own fights with the illness and they're decent people, and we've just met them so it's not like they've been whispering in his ear to "recruit" him, but their support is gonna do more harm than good. (He'd also make for a very ugly woman, our new friends pass pretty well.)

Anyone got any tips to steer him away from transitioning, or help him find his manhood? I could describe specifically how much of a failure he is at life, but that might be power-leveling too hard. Before this, his choices were either join the military or go to therapy for his depression, but he can't join the military if he's getting treatment.

 

[Betonhaus]

Anyone got any tips to steer him away from transitioning, or help him find his manhood? I could describe specifically how much of a failure he is at life, but that might be power-leveling too hard. Before this, his choices were either join the military or go to therapy for his depression, but he can't join the military if he's getting treatment.

I'd suggest getting him to get all dolled up as a woman, then get him to look at himself in a mirror and ask himself if he will be happier seeing himself as that for the rest of his life.
If not, take him jogging or something? Once you get used to jogging or similar activities your mind sorta switches off so you don't think of anything else

 

[Betonhaus]

Update: I got breaks in two spots and something major slipped out of place. I got a boot brace now and the doctor is consulting with an orthopedic surgeon. Yay.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Before this, his choices were either join the military or go to therapy for his depression, but he can't join the military if he's getting treatment.

One recurring takeaway from the loosing people to transgenderism thread is thinking of it as if your friend is joining a cult. because thats pretty much what it is.

Deppresed suicidal people are the most vulnerable for the idea the trans hugbox is peddling. Killing your past self and beginning as a new life as a different person is appealing for those who hate themselves.

They also get lovebombed and showered with free validation which they are desperately craving. Its actually very hard to bring someone down to earth when they are in an euphoric or manic phase, they will resent you for it and won't understand your point of view, you'd be a naysayer and an obstacle. Still, the best policy imo is to be straight with them for your own sake as well, if they ever come back they'll remember the one person that cared enough about their wellbeing to be honest, if they don't then encouraging a sad person to hurt themselves won't weight on your conscience.

 

[Storm Surge]

One recurring takeaway from the loosing people to transgenderism thread is thinking of it as if your friend is joining a cult. because thats pretty much what it is.

Ah, didn't know that thread existed. Thanks, I'll be sure to look into it!

 

[Betonhaus]

Correction, I got three breaks. After the doctor consulted with the Orthopedic surgeon he widened the x-rays to look all the way up to my knee and lo and behold there is another fracture. Now to see the surgeon for a consultation tomorrow

 

[Harbinger of Kali Yuga]

My friend of many years has come out as trans, MtF. He's a depressed failure at life, so I figure his dysphoria is a symptom rather than the root problem, but I find it hard to discuss that matter with him without wanting to physically slap some sense into him. He's already got some brain-dead takes (like being a marxist) but he's still my friend and I want to help him to avoid disfiguring himself. Part of the problem is that we've just made some new friends who are trans, and they're decent people, but their first idea of him coming out as trans is to support him.

Now, I do feel like some people should get gender affirming care, but my buddy isn't one of them. I don't fault the other trannies for supporting his transition, they've had their own fights with the illness and they're decent people, and we've just met them so it's not like they've been whispering in his ear to "recruit" him, but their support is gonna do more harm than good. (He'd also make for a very ugly woman, our new friends pass pretty well.)

Anyone got any tips to steer him away from transitioning, or help him find his manhood? I could describe specifically how much of a failure he is at life, but that might be power-leveling too hard. Before this, his choices were either join the military or go to therapy for his depression, but he can't join the military if he's getting treatment.

The friendship is gone. This stuff is like a drug because society socially rewards these people with attention, which they have not gotten prior to transitioning.

 

[doomocract]

My wrist is broken from third story fall to the ground. No, I have no idea why I'm still alive. (I wasn't suicidal, it just happened thanks to my retarded-self) This is same arm who's thumb I knifed accidently

Doing good in all other senses

 

[Waifuwars]

A few months and some undisclosed amount of money later, the scammer is finally out of my life but she is also back in town after leaving for a couple of months. I've realized just how much she gaslit me and lied about absolutely everything. Talk about a sociopathic narcissist. Delusions of grandeur? Check. She constantly bragged about an old business partner begging for her to come back as CEO to "revitalize" their company. An outsized sense of entitlement and "specialness"? Check (and double check especially as she was weirdly difficult with service workers). Always a victim and never her fault? Check. Something always was happening to either her or her family. Extremely shallow? Check. I should've known better the moment she said she didn't have a lot of female friends because of drama and painted herself as a "guy's girl" (aka a pick-me girl). She hated girls who slept with men to get things, but I suspect she did the same since there's no way she could constantly borrow money for her lavish lifestyle without a sugar daddy or something similar.

I could go on and on but the thing that really pissed me off was her posting shit like "my life is so hard", "xoxo friends who don't abandon you as soon as times get hard", etc. Life is so hard when you've scammed $15k+ out of people and committed wire fraud boo hoo. Anyhow, I really hope I don't bump into her but I know her favorite spots so I'll be trying my best to minimize my footprint in those areas until she's gone.

 

[Sergeant Major Buzzkill]

I’m alright. Trying to settle down from this Halloween party I attended.

 

[Anonitolia]

I've ended up staying with the former friend group (the one that split in two) much longer than I anticipated.

Spoiler: older friend group update again, probably still tmi

Today marks one month since I rejoined... I was supposed to stay there for a week maximum.
I probably should've seen this coming, though. Not because I have issues with attachment or anything- I could get up and leave whenever I wanted to, and I don't plan on sticking around until December by any means- but because it's the first friendly contact I've had outside of a small bubble of relatives for years now. It's the first time I've ever revisited an old friend (let alone 5+), too, so it's kind of all hitting me like a truck.
It's almost like a car crash. I can't look away. I hardly recognize anybody there by now and stick out like a sore thumb, but we all still talk like we're vague acquaintances despite my most recent memories of them being as close friends and it's so strange.

I guess it's harder for me to leave because it's attached to an old hobby that I recently picked up again, anyways. It's a pretty niche thing too so the people there are probably 30% of the ones I'd be interacting with if I were to indulge in it, and a good 60% of available hobbyists likely have connections to or somehow know this group. That 10% is such a minor fraction that I'll either have to stick to them if i ever want to discuss this hobby without baggage again or just retreat from socializing about it altogether (which is what I'm planning on doing after I get myself away from this place).

The group and I are planning on indulging in that hobby together for a few hours in maybe a week or two I think. The date is unclear but it's supposedly happening soonish. I haven't told them yet, but I'm going to stop talking to them and leave right after that ends. Just bounce without explanation. Better I do that than stir up drama by announcing it ahead of time or sticking around and being honest about what I think of them.
Then again, I don't even know if I have the willpower to stick around that long, either.
Hearing the troon guy's voice physically hurts me on levels that I find hard to put into words. Very hard to shake the probable fact that it's partially my fault he turned out this way. (I can't remember if I mentioned him here or in another thread- it's the guy who infiltrated the girls-only place.)

In other, slightly less powerlevely news... I've applied for a bunch of new jobs in the hopes of making some extra cash. Fuck every single place wanting 2+ years in the service industry for entry-level fast food, especially those barely paying minimum wage.

No clue what to do for Halloween. I forgot to decorate my place because I was too busy deciding on a costume and now there's less than a week left. It's at times like these when I wish I was more of a party person so I had an easy out, but alas...

 

[Secret Messages]

My wrist is broken from third story fall to the ground. No, I have no idea why I'm still alive. (I wasn't suicidal, it just happened thanks to my retarded-self) This is same arm who's thumb I knifed accidently

Doing good in all other senses

damn how the fuck did that happen

 

[Blop]

My people are going through CRAZY shit lately. My general malaise is nothing compared to the LITERAL CRAZINESS that has been removed from my friends’ bodies recently. This is middle age I guess.

 

[Nick Obre]

Wanna power level a little bit. Nothing dramatic, just a thing I wanna put into words I guess.

I live in a small apartment and I'm sick of it.
I want a place with space for my kid to have her own permanent room, not just have to take mine when she's here (which is like half the week, so aside from an aspiration, it's also a practical matter). Just like everywhere, in my country, house and apartment rent (and purchase) prices are on a bubble because of mass migration, real estate speculators, etc.
But I'm in a bit better of a financial situation than I was a few months back, and what I want is something in the same area (to be close to the kid's main living place and her school), and something with at least 3 rooms (which is not a small thing to ask for, I know).
The current one is ok: the area is nice, the people are nice, it's close to businesses and the subway and so on; but it is just too small. I've had hopes for a bigger apartment in the same building to become available, but when they do, it's too expensive.

There's been a handful of places that have popped up that I could afford on a month to month basis. One was a house literally right across the street from my apartment, but it got rented out before I could make a move.
There's 2 other apartments which are within about the same distance from the kid's house as my current apartment, just in the completely opposite direction.
The pros is they're large apartments (larger than the house I couldn't get, even), and one of them is in the same block of buildings where the kid's best friend lives (and the other one is like one street away, so it's no biggie).
The cons are that they're, by virtue of being in the other direction, twice as far from the school, which would mean a lot more time wasted the days I take her to school and back. From here it's walking distance, from there, it's a bus ride (a short one, but a ride nonetheless). Also, I don't like the area in general.

And I guess more importantly, I can afford the rent; I can't right this moment afford the expenses associated with moving.
I don't know, I'm normally conservative in situations like this, when in doubt, abstain. But I feel I won't get the same space (and kid's friend adjacentness) for a price I can afford if I don't catch one of these.

Eh. I'm just frustrated I guess, I just wish things could happen more smoothly than having to always be weighing pros and cons and kind of betting on the outcomes.
Still, I've had worse problems and talked about them here. So here's to things getting better, even if not as good and as fast as one would wish.

 

[Betonhaus]

I have surgery on Saturday to suture my bones together, then I'm in the cast for 2 weeks and air boot for another 4 to 6 weeks