How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Don't worry, there are bottoms that are nazi about tops not liking dick. As in, a top should never touch dick. Ever.

If he's under 18, you could maybe get CPS involved?
I don't know. Mom and dad are both telling different stories and I don't know who to believe at this point. Idk, I'm on the verge of a meltdown at this second so I'm probably not thinking clearly. Less than usual. I'm tired of cycling between feeling numb and getting bursts of extreme emotions. And even when I'm numb emotionally I still feel the physical effects of the stress. I hate this. I really do.
 
Clearly not either of them. Your mom is a shrieking retard, while your dad sext minors like he's some big shot youtuber.
If only he was a big shot YouTuber, at least we'd have money after mom rage quit her last job. And I'm not about to start selling my feet or whatever people do for quick money these days, even if that's the only thing I could hold onto with my current mental state. (That's just some humor to help myself here). I just want everything to be okay again but I know it probably won't be. At least I'm back in the numbness phase and can think clearly right now.

Expect me to be shitting up this thread a lot though.
 
If only he was a big shot YouTuber, at least we'd have money after mom rage quit her last job. And I'm not about to start selling my feet or whatever people do for quick money these days, even if that's the only thing I could hold onto with my current mental state. (That's just some humor to help myself here). I just want everything to be okay again but I know it probably won't be. At least I'm back in the numbness phase and can think clearly right now.

Expect me to be shitting up this thread a lot though.


I hope you get better mate.
 
I started on the dating apps - it's pretty dire. I'd probably be happier if I just gave up, but that feels like saying my life is over.
There may be options. Most cities have professional matchmaking services and there a sites like Christianmingle. If you do use a matchmaking service do a background check on the company or person to avoid obvious shenanigans. Plus you can still get effectively mail-order brides from the Philippines
 
There may be options. Most cities have professional matchmaking services and there a sites like Christianmingle. If you do use a matchmaking service do a background check on the company or person to avoid obvious shenanigans. Plus you can still get effectively mail-order brides from the Philippines
Not my thing - settling for an asian feels the same as giving up.
 
Not my thing - settling for an asian feels the same as giving up.
There are still matchmaking services. Try not to go through the big expensive corporate ones but find someone's granny who does it as a side hustle. But really, most white women are beyond saving.

Otherwise, I fucking hate not being able to walk. My leg doesn't really hurt but I can only use it to balance carefully as my ankle bones shift around like a bag of Jenga. I have to pee and despite the bathroom being next door I have to deal with fucking crutches and hopping around while my other leg's hip still hurts. So looking forward to my surgery tomorrow so I can get my bones stitched together and I can hopefully go home soon where the whole Condo is one floor and I'm not being told to hop a flight of stairs four times a day.
 
Not my thing - settling for an asian feels the same as giving up.
What about an Ukrainian? It may not be an ideal starting point, but that doesn't really matter if it gets better over time.
I have to pee and despite the bathroom being next door I have to deal with fucking crutches and hopping around while my other leg's hip still hurts.
Time to start on the piss bottle collection.
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How I'm doing? As usual, I went to the gym at opening hours. Cut my workout short, because I'm hungry and I feel sore in my arms.
Otherwise.
It's fucking cold. Rest of my body is fine. but my hands feel like they're gonna necrosis from hypothermia. I wear gloves, but eh.
It's -6 celcius/21.2 fahrenheit outside.
 
It's been a pretty shit 2 months tbh.
I think I'm being iced out of my job and it stems from an incident that ended in me also losing one of my closest friend who helped me get the job. I'm really resentful that my boss won't just fire me and instead has strung me along by telling me that I can do this or that project but then the work never materializes- but I guess that's what happens when you're being iced out. Part of me wants to descend into coping that maybe it really is just the economy and time of year, my field of work does slow down in the winter, or that maybe even if my boss doesn't want me around right now if I can wait her out she might change her tune in a few months when they need people, but it doesn't really matter. Right now I'm sitting here not working and with no income coming in. I'm not even sure if I want to stay with a company that won't even send me for training or let me sit in workload meetings, or that I want around to be around my former friend.

Everything that has happened has been borderline devastating for me. I thought I had finally made this stupid fuck-off shit I've been doing coalesce into a viable career. I had plans to move to an area of the country I really wanted to be in and start putting down roots and setting up my own life in my own place I was planning to be in for a while. I thought I would be near one of my closest friends and have a whole network of coworkers and since it's a town with a university I would have the best chance I'll probably ever get of expanding my social circle and maybe finding more people I could really trust and form bonds with. And now it's all gone.

I know I should be looking for other jobs, and I actually did a resume for one job that I think I have a decent shot at if it hasn't been filled already, but it's only funded for 2 years. The job boards are pretty shit right now too. I suppose I could try another company in the same vein as the one I'm currently at, but I'd start out at an even lower position than I am right now and I'm not so sure being able to work my way up is even a thing I could do like I used to think it was. I thought about asking to transfer to another office within the company, but I don't even know how I would go about doing that or where I would go. I've also thought about contacting one of my former bosses and a professor at the university I mentioned since the professor had a graduate student partner with my former company to do her research and seeing if he would be willing to take me on as a student and they would be able to do the same set up with me, but I think that's the biggest pipe dream of all. I honestly don't know where to go from here and I'm having to battle my own demotivation and depression to try and do something.
 
I started on the dating apps - it's pretty dire. I'd probably be happier if I just gave up, but that feels like saying my life is over.
It really is that bad. It shows that people's internal narratives are very stunted and small. They live in small words, small thoughts, and it's all directed and engineered by society as a whole. A love of celebrities, shallow pop gossip, whatever the trends are.
 
So, my ex is smearing me again.

Unsurprising.

I cannot do anything about it. If a woman libels you, due to feminism you have to take it. Every move is the wrong move.

These people seriously are nuts and evil.

I cannot move or do anything to her now.

I will just have to wait a few years.

I'm patient. She's BPD and impulsive.

I will let her go through a few men until the kraken arises from the deep dark sea.

People with such shadowy pasts should be more careful.

For what it's worth, KF, white women are not the prize. They're damaged and psycho.
 
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Thankful for one of my cats. With all the stress lately it gets hard to sleep at night. He sleeps by my feet or next to my face. He didn't start doing this until things got rough here. I know there's probably another reason but I like to think he's protecting me from the stress in his own weird little way. Thank you Bob.
 
So, my ex is smearing me again.

Unsurprising.

I cannot do anything about it. If a woman libels you, due to feminism you have to take it. Every move is the wrong move.

These people seriously are nuts and evil.

I cannot move or do anything to her now.

I will just have to wait a few years.

I'm patient. She's BPD and impulsive.

I will let her go through a few men until the kraken arises from the deep dark sea.

People with such shadowy pasts should be more careful.

For what it's worth, KF, white women are not the prize. They're damaged and psycho.
Mate, don't.
Do what you must to clear your name, but don't sink into the shit. Not just for moral reasons, "be better than them, he who fights demons blah blah", but for practical reasons. It's not worth the effort and the guaranteed retaliation.

Just try to untangle yourself from her shit and live the best you can.
 
Surgery went well. I elected for an epidural and I'm slowly getting feeling back in my lower legs. I'll be here tonight and back to where I was staying tomorrow, and back home Tuesday
Did you pick out your new tranny name prior to the surgery or are you waiting to fully commit to this new lifestyle?
 
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