How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

[Moth to a flame]

Grandma's in the hospital fucking dying and I'm mentally ill, and dropped out of art school. doing great i suppose. take care

 

[Day of the Cope]

Managed to get what paint chips I could find on my car taken care of. First round of them went... okay, I guess. Found a few more, so waiting for the paint to dry before hitting it with the power polisher (instead of a fucking hand cloth), giving it the clear coat, letting that dry, and hitting that with the same polisher. Honestly not too worried about how nice it looks since just not having it exposed to the winter elements is probably more important.

Grandma's in the hospital fucking dying and I'm mentally ill, and dropped out of art school. doing great i suppose. take care

Best thing you can do is be there for your family. As grim as it sounds, be lucky that you'll be there for your family in their family moments. I know plenty of people who live with the burden of being unable to be in the same room with their loved one as they pass away.

 

[LonesomeDud]

I've really cut back on my weed and caffeine, and I was definitely using all those things to self-medicate chronic pain. I am so glad I did, because I know what I am dealing with. It's not severe pain. I feel like for a long time I was just running from feeling physical pain. I have 6 out of 10 pain as I lie here, and while it's too much to fall asleep, at least I know how I really am feeling, and that makes me feel good. I've been taking Tylenol, and it really helps. Tomorrow I'm going to a medical spa and doing some cold plunges and sauna work, and it really helps both loosen me up and deal with inflammation from my activities. I can live my days at 2/10, and that's awesome. It's a life worth living to do everything I want and just have a little kiss of joint pain and be totally lucid with perfectly healthy organs. It makes me really hopeful about the future where I'm just managing how I feel with diet and exercise.

 

[666NASTYFUCKINGFREAK666]

. If you're BADLY ANEMIC as a MALE while in a BULK you're doing something awfully wrong.

I have several autoimmune diseases that causes me to bleed internally, so that’s why I’m anemic. “holocausting” myself is merely an exaggeration.

 

[soft breathing]

Went to visit my parents on the weekend, my mum's still in the hospital and I feel like her suicide attempt caused irreparable brain damage. Doctors won't tell us much, they probably don't know much, but it doesn't feel like she'll come back from this. Idk. My dad is holding up alright ig, but it's still so weird to see him grieving and vulnerable.

I've been feeling so empty and useless ever since this all happened.

Even the fact that I found a new job with pretty good pay & benefits doesn't really increase my mood.

I'm just so tired and worn out.

 

[Up3]

I've really cut back on my weed and caffeine, and I was definitely using all those things to self-medicate chronic pain. I am so glad I did, because I know what I am dealing with.

I stopped doing drugs recently I can’t sleep or eat and I am at the lowest point of my life probably.

 

[Betonhaus]

I got a job interview tomorrow for a very good job, and I just found out my income assistance benefits have been cut off

 

[LonesomeDud]

I stopped doing drugs recently I can’t sleep or eat and I am at the lowest point of my life probably.

Give it a little longer. Get yourself some Sleep 3 (time released melatonin). Heavy cardiovascular exercise like distance running or cycling will help regulate you, and lifting really helps with anxiety.

Not having an appetite is a great time to reset bad eating habits. Time for more protein, whole grains, and vegetables. If you're miserable, why not cut out pleasure foods like sugar and caffeine? What's it to you?

 

[neverendingmidi]

Physically I'm fine. My job is going fine. However... I'm about at my breaking point for home.

My mom has been sick as a dog... for three weeks. Apparently having constant diarrhea is A-Okay as long as the person is drinking water. Even if you have to beg them to eat 20 grams of food at least twice a day. I was dealing with that, even if it was a stress and involved dealing with extra cleaning and trying to talk her down when she was upset at having made a mess... Then the dogs started joining in.

Dealing with the diarrhea of multiple residents of the household is driving me to the brink...

 

[PointOfNoReturnPoint]

I am good, I Really am. I am not in the best spot finanically ( car is also kaputt ) but overall I really would have to dig to find a problem thats worth crying over.

If anyone wants to chat in DM about anything feel free to hit me up. I will give it my best shot no matter the issue.

 

[The Feline Solution]

Why the fuck does my brain decide 5AM is the best time to wake up while also knowing i got fuck all to do all day?! Drives me nuts. I'm out of work (still haven't gotten the surgery for my arm because this country is starting to resemble the UK and Canada when it comes to hospital waiting times, i am also still not sure if i really want to get the surgery), the house is clean, i got no vidya to play and i also feel like a truck rolled over me because my sleep quality is kind of more shit than usual lately. Fuck this, all this getting up early does make me want to do is go out at 8AM and buy some beers, just out of sheer boredom and to make the time pass faster. Girlfriend went to bed when i got up so i am sitting here in the kitchen on her laptop until at least 2PM playing with my dick, metaphorically speaking.
Looking forward to the weekend, my favourite uncle invited me to his birthday and i haven't seen him in at least half a year, went out yesterday to buy him a nice bottle of wine, it will be fun. Lots of other family will be there too and some i haven't seen in even longer than a half year.

Feeling like The Craft will be in rotation.

I want to fuck 90's Fairuza Balk.Not digging the short hair she rocks in most movies but she awakens something animalistic in me. I used to date a girl that kinda looked like her just with long hair when i was a teen.

I have several autoimmune diseases that causes me to bleed internally

Not gonna lie, that sounds quite horrifying.

I stopped doing drugs recently I can’t sleep or eat and I am at the lowest point of my life probably.

Nearing a month of being clean from hard drugs again and while i'm nowhere even close to my lowest point i am just generally bored because of it. I enjoy being more human off of drugs this time around but the boredom is fucking killing me. Already put in an order when i went to see my dealer last week for non-drug related things but i'll have to wait at least a week before i get my stuff, it's ridiculous how hard it has gotten to reliably get good Speed around here, everyone and their mother just wants coke, coke, coke so most people i know in the business are selling just that and weed maybe.

 

[666NASTYFUCKINGFREAK666]

Not gonna lie, that sounds quite horrifying.

Thank you for the sympathy. Modern medicine is wonderful though and I am sitting here without any severe symptoms (besides the anemia) only at the cost of a shitty immune system.

 

[CoffeeCup]

I became self-employed. I just hope I can make enough money to visit the doctor without insurence and get my medication that is currently keeping me from being an asshole. Life is suffering.

 

[Anonitolia]

Got sick right before election day so I have the time off to watch my country try to kill itself again. Unfortunate that it has to happen while I'm coughing my lungs out, I guess.

Otherwise doing fine. Have been trying to fight the endless restlessness that comes with briefly postponing a big personal project I was into because I am physically unable to work on it to the level of quality that I accept of myself, but I'll be fine. I've dealt with it before lol.

Hoping my fellow kiwis have a good election day. Go spend time with the people that are important to you and remember to enjoy things no matter the results. Getting so invested that you become heartbroken or overcome with rage/sadness will do nothing but incapacitate or harm you, and unless you're a literal glowie who might be able to do anything about how the election turns out the best thing you can really do is remind yourself of what matters most on a day when the entire country seems to be putting two vague ideas of some crappy politicians above all else.

 

[Soup ‘n’ Salad]

I think I may be at one of the darkest points of my life right now, but just trying to shitpost the dread away

 

[Friend of Dorothy Parker]

I think I may be at one of the darkest points of my life right now, but just trying to shitpost the dread away

I'm sorry life is like that right now. The best - and hardest- approach to dread is facing it down - meaning facing reality, taking what actions you possibly can, and accepting that bad shit may be coming but doing what you can to address it and knowing that you can handle it. That often goes 100% in the face of what you really want to do, but very little is improved by avoiding its reality.

 

[Cemetery Support]

I have an important phone call in about 4 minutes. I am nervous but courageous.

EDIT: there was a miscommunication and it didn’t go half as well as I had hoped

 

[Tiggie_Tiger]

Excited about the upcoming US shitstorm! Whoever wins, I can't wait for fresh milkies!

 

[Cemetery Support]

I think I may be at one of the darkest points of my life right now, but just trying to shitpost the dread away

Fight, nigger.
Get angry at your problems and focus your anger to surmount them.
You cannot shitpost the dread away. Distraction is only an anesthetic. It only dulls the pain. the only way to kill the source of the pain is to deal with the discomfort of the unknown.
Categorize, name, and size up what you are afraid of. Identify the stakes. Make plans. Ask questions. No one is going to hold your hand. It has to be done.
You are the only person that you truly have, and you have to fight to make things better for yourself. You have to give a shit about yourself. You have to want things to be better. Be angry. Be persistent.
You’re gonna be okay.

 

[weary]

Dude... thank you for sharing. It's honestly a huge comfort to know someone else is going through the same bullshit I am. I have combined, so just extra barrels of fun. This is going to sound nuts but try to find an acupuncturist in your area. I found a damn good one that doesn't believe in woo woo crystal shit. He strikes me as an actual physician and has helped me reduce my blood pressure. I shit you not. The frustration is so real and at least we can have a little comfort knowing we're not alone in this. Hang in there my friend, I pray it gets easier for us.

Sooner or later hopefully it will get easier. Stay safe. My next doctors' appointment is tomorrow and hopefully I will get better meds, thank fuck himself my blood pressure improved. (Concerta was no match for my brain sadly, but perhaps my inattentive diagnosis has a flavour of impulsive) Edit: Sorry to all of you for ADHD sperging but.. there are reasons I'm still here on this goddamn board