owed to joy
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2023
@Friend of Dorothy Parker I'm sorry to hear that, but glad to know you've gained wisdom enough to reflect on it all. I grew up with a single mom who worked harder than anyone I've ever met and I've never not felt so much gratitude and respect for her, although I've always said to my wife I would love to be a parent but I don't want to be a single one. It seemed very hard.
Trust I've tried direct conversations but as I say she will take it as though I'm picking a fight. I'll say what am I doing wrong, why are you so annoyed with me today, and she will say what do you mean. She knows what I mean but I'll humor her and say well you are being sarcastic and impatient, and she will then receive that as an insult and begin insulting me back. It is exhausting. She would prefer that I accept it and say nothing about it though really.
She has moved abroad before we both have we both met as very adventurous people and we have moved lots of places individually and together. To me I'm easy going I'd be willing even to do something like she asks but I would need her to be serious and take into account serious factors such as cost, health insurance, you know normal shit and have some kind of plan... but she is not thinking about any of that and if I bring it up I'm basically raining on her parade. Like i say she would rather not ever hear me say I've to go to work, but she would similarly not accept it if I were not paying bills or we were not able to go out to eat or plan vacations. Her mother is the kind of person who has always told her she is impulsive and irresponsible, partly because she can be and partly because she chose another path, while her father is very coddling and would sooner tell her she can do anything, he will forgive her easily every time. I believe this dynamic is influencing our relationship quite a bit now.
The weird thing is though that when we got married my wife very easily and comfortably kind of conformed right away to stable predictable kind of planned living and long term goals. She was grateful that we met so we could have this kind of life to end up in together and was excited to look for houses and decide together on schools and sports and stuff like that. It's only now that all this "what if we just went to Portugal for a year or two" started coming up suddenly.
As for our baby, I know my wife trusts me. She goes to the gym and I'm with my daughter alone every morning and I take her for walks just us often. I think she thinks I take better care sometimes as wife can be forgetful or gets nervous easily when things happen like sneeze or bumps and bruises etc. I've been looking after kids since i was a kid so I'm good, she a little less hands on experienced. But I think like you said maybe she feels insecure and that makes her very insistent to show everyone she has it all figured out.
Trust I've tried direct conversations but as I say she will take it as though I'm picking a fight. I'll say what am I doing wrong, why are you so annoyed with me today, and she will say what do you mean. She knows what I mean but I'll humor her and say well you are being sarcastic and impatient, and she will then receive that as an insult and begin insulting me back. It is exhausting. She would prefer that I accept it and say nothing about it though really.
She has moved abroad before we both have we both met as very adventurous people and we have moved lots of places individually and together. To me I'm easy going I'd be willing even to do something like she asks but I would need her to be serious and take into account serious factors such as cost, health insurance, you know normal shit and have some kind of plan... but she is not thinking about any of that and if I bring it up I'm basically raining on her parade. Like i say she would rather not ever hear me say I've to go to work, but she would similarly not accept it if I were not paying bills or we were not able to go out to eat or plan vacations. Her mother is the kind of person who has always told her she is impulsive and irresponsible, partly because she can be and partly because she chose another path, while her father is very coddling and would sooner tell her she can do anything, he will forgive her easily every time. I believe this dynamic is influencing our relationship quite a bit now.
The weird thing is though that when we got married my wife very easily and comfortably kind of conformed right away to stable predictable kind of planned living and long term goals. She was grateful that we met so we could have this kind of life to end up in together and was excited to look for houses and decide together on schools and sports and stuff like that. It's only now that all this "what if we just went to Portugal for a year or two" started coming up suddenly.
As for our baby, I know my wife trusts me. She goes to the gym and I'm with my daughter alone every morning and I take her for walks just us often. I think she thinks I take better care sometimes as wife can be forgetful or gets nervous easily when things happen like sneeze or bumps and bruises etc. I've been looking after kids since i was a kid so I'm good, she a little less hands on experienced. But I think like you said maybe she feels insecure and that makes her very insistent to show everyone she has it all figured out.
