How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

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I can muster a lot of empathy for people getting their ass kicked by depression and self doubt, but not when they demand that others feel that same way based on something as retarded as their race.
I 100% disagree (and have said so) with that perspective (self-immolation based on race). And so I have 0 interest in encouraging someone to lean into it.
 
I mainly want people to talk to, at least just one person would be enough for me. I will probably do it if things will go down the hill with the person I was writing about here previously, and if we'll figure out all the problems I'll put this idea aside for a while.
Start now, mate. Don't even think about the friendship and where it's going. Do something for yourself. Easier said then done but truly I implore you to do it.
I've made a lot of mistakes, but the single biggest regret in my life was that I spent so many years (still do) trying to socialize with people and be that normal guy instead of working towards my dreams.

I promise you if you actually fully commit to one or two things that give you some artistic fulfillment, you WILL find those people. And they will usually be way better friends than just people in a fandom who like the same things as you. A lot of amazing filmmakers and writers met their wives through their fields. You'll make those connections if you just truly trust yourself and do the damn things.
I'm not saying it's easy. But some of your posts remind me a little of myself and you seem young. I really think you should go for it. Even if you don't publish that stuff anywhere, you'll just be in a zone when you're working on something you're really good at.
Please, please work towards those things my pal.
 
I've found my people in the Chud The Builder thread :) I knew not everyone was like this
>Grr I'm racist and I hate all niggers TND I want all niggers dead!
>Oh, I agree! I'm black and I'd happily be lynched! White people are inherently superior
>Oh :( That's sad, bro, no you should love yourself :( Have black pride, dude, we all bleed the same color :(
 
I've found my people in the Chud The Builder thread :) I knew not everyone was like this
All due respect, I feel for some of the things you say and go through.
But you really are a giant fucking pick me.
Still think there might be some validity to the idea that you're a certain Lone Wanderer.

Self hate and doubt is okay, but stop shitting up the thread with
"Aw man, I'm a nigger why can't anybody see it."
"Yeah, you are lowkey acting like a nigger right now."
"You guys aren't cool for not telling me to lynch myself in the support thread!1111!! I'm going over here with the cool kids, be back in five with the same bullshit."
 
When have I acted like a nigger? I'm sorry. But it also lends credance to what I'm saying.
As a general rule, wanting people to feel bad for you for being black while also not taking help or advice on how you could become a better person and making it your defining character trait that you bring up in every conversation is pretty much the hallmark of being a nigger, no?
 
As a general rule, wanting people to feel bad for you for being black
I don't want people to feel bad for me for being black. Nothing I say should illicit sympathy.
also not taking help or advice on how you could become a better person
How does not hating myself make me a better person?
making it your defining character trait that you bring up in every conversation
This is the only accurate part, and it's good to warn people that you're not to be taken seriously.
 
How does not hating myself make me a better person?
Well, depends on your spiritual or teleological perspective, but imo, we owe it to our...for lack of a better word, essence*...to be our best selves. Which you cannot do if you hate yourself.

* some might say to God or the universe or humanity or self or whatever. It's a fundamental aspect of humanity/ being a living, sentient human.
 
Still think there might be some validity to the idea that you're a certain Lone Wanderer.
Nope.

There's nothing wrong with being a pick me for white people tho
This is where you pass the point of belief. Like, I cannot even process this concept in the context you're talking about.

But FYI, if for some reason you're looking to curry favor with white people, at least make it a productive effort. Self-denigration to online people is not it.

Let me ask you: would it make you feel good for people to agree with you, to tell you you're forever worthless because you're black? What benefit would that have for you?

Or, conversely, what do you get from people disagreeing with you? You think that would mean you're a lone, shining star among black people? News: oodles of black people are - like I said above - wonderful, brilliant, accomplished people.

If statistics (that vary by circumstance and a million other factors) were dispositive of individuals' fates - or worse, natures - you would NEVER see an accomplishment by anyone other than those in charge (present or past).

Go read some W.E.B. Dubois or Thomas Sowell or James Baldwin or something.
 
Let me ask you: would it make you feel good for people to agree with you, to tell you you're forever worthless because you're black? What benefit would that have for you?
Yes, it makes white people happy. It doesn't benefit me, but it doesn't have to.
 
When have I acted like a nigger? I'm sorry. But it also lends credance to what I'm saying.
You've been acting like an annoying nigger with a severely underdeveloped pre-frontal cortex because you insist on spamming this cringe shit despite allegedly being on your medication, and knowing it's bad for your mental health. You are a nigger with no impulse control who must indulge herself in self-harm fantasies.

I'm beginning to suspect it's just some sexual fetish thing and you're a pervert. You aren't that crazy, you're just stupid enough to rationalize "black mental health doesn't matter" so you can continue with your self-harm fixation and not make the effort to mitigate it. You aren't good at racism and should really avoid the topic. This is why no one -- including racists, takes your attempts at racism seriously. It's self-indulgent.

You are shitting up multiple threads, and the guy who is roleplaying nigger torture fantasies in your DMs with you should be banned from the site for taking advantage of someone with obvious mental health problems.

In typical nigger fashion, you've shown an arrogant and insulting disregard for the advice of people who know better than you and want the best for you. If your shit is so fucked up that you can't be reasoned with, you will need to change your medication or get on additional medication, because I'm sure your lack of effort to get healthy is a massive hassle for your friends and family.
 
I don't want people to feel bad for me for being black. Nothing I say should illicit sympathy.

How does not hating myself make me a better person?

This is the only accurate part, and it's good to warn people that you're not to be taken seriously.
You seem to be one of those people who have no real life friends and tried compensating it with online ones, even if the online people are "not normal" (as in people from edgy discords). By commingling with terminally online retards you have warped your own common sense and its basically effecting how you think/talk normally (on this forum). To put it into perspective, you are like those awkward anime kids in high school trying to be funny but instead of anime it's hating niggers. Perhaps being a nigger hating nigger could be tolerable but due to having no other redeemable characteristics, it become off-putting to others.
 
You've been acting like an annoying nigger with a severely underdeveloped pre-frontal cortex
You aren't good at racism
In typical nigger fashion, you've shown an arrogant and insulting disregard
This is why no one -- including racists, takes your attempts at racism seriously. It's self-indulgent.
You are shitting up multiple threads
You're right, I'm sorry. I'm a mega nigger tbh. I should really get better at this and be less loud and annoying, I genuinely apologize.
 
Yes, it makes white people happy.
No it doesn't.

It doesn't benefit me, but it doesn't have to.
Christ. Just take the W and stop the goofy self- undermining.

You're being manipulative. Just know that the indulgence you're receiving isn't due to your cleverness. And if this:
You are shitting up multiple threads, and the guy who is roleplaying nigger torture fantasies in your DMs with you should be banned from the site for taking advantage of someone with obvious mental health problems.
is true and you are playing into it, then you can fuck right off.

You're right, I'm sorry. I'm a mega nigger tbh. I should really get better at this and be less loud and annoying, I genuinely apologize.
Manipulation.
 
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