Lolcow KingCobraJFS / Josh Saunders - Amateur musician, YouTube Streamer, wandmaker, and self-proclaimed "sexy goth badboy". Perpetually circling the drain.

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Buffalo Chicken Sandwich said:
Back at it with the black magic
Click to expand...
He is cutting up and signing the back of the carpet.

He is going on about the hard work he did to clean his apartment.

Who wouldn't want this piece of Cobraistory?
Screenshot_20210104-130004_YouTube.jpg

It is only $100 per carpet piece. He is considering offering a New Years sale but doesn't give the sale price.
 
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Grifter Kobes is my favourite. Hustle man!


Start:
  • Offering relationship advice straight off the bat
  • Doesn’t want every video he makes to be about gender relations
  • Checks his funds
  • Says he might lower the price of his carpet
  • Monitorization isn’t back yet. Shills his PayPal. #Donationsaren’tneccessarybutgreatlyappreciated
6:33:
  • Advertises his carpet
  • Person who get’s the smallest piece will get a free wand
  • Autographs the carpet
27:50:
  • Finished autographing the carpet pieces
  • Suggests he might do an NYE flash sale
30:01:
  • Starts watching a food challenge video
34:00:
  • For the duration of the livestream he’s lowered the price to $44
  • He originally charged $100 because he had to pay $200 for paint for the old apartment
  • Shills his Etsy link
  • Remember, free wand!
  • Back to the video. He doesn’t really say anything
40:50:
  • Fixing his beard
  • Still watching the video and not talking
43:10:
  • I thought his pants were also camouflage. WTF is all over them?
  • Still watching the video and not talking.
  • Looks like he’s gonna fall asleep.
1:00:14:
  • Checks his Etsy and he’s got 7 new carpet orders
  • Exhumed Visions asked him to put out some cigarettes on his. Kobes says he can do that
  • Once the stream ends the carpets are going back up to $100. Free wand also!
1:04:00:
  • Shills his T-shirts
1:05:44:
  • Belltower video reaction (Still better than Sydney Watson, he should do more of these)
1:07:44:
  • He didn’t like those bells
  • Back to the video
1:09:19:
  • Plays a video about Alexi Laiho’s death
  • Guitarists come and go but their music lives on
1:13:34:
  • Guitar shredding
1:32:55:
  • Smoking his pipe for Alexi Laiho
  • Back to watching the video
1:35:26:
  • Moment of silence for Alexi Laiho
  • Thank you for ‘absorbing’ a moment of silence with Kobes
1:37:25:
  • Spitting some troll slaying rhymes
1:39:50:
  • Plays a new track but decides not to use it.
1:40:27:
  • New track, new rap (This sounds awesome on 2X speed)
1:42:46:
  • New track, new rap
  • Stops for a smoke break then straight back to spitting rhymes.
1:45:53:
  • New track, new rap.
  • He’s rapping and waving his wand around. Amazing!
1:48:57:
  • Checks his Etsy again. He’s had 9 carpet orders.
  • Only $44 for the stream, also free wand!
1:50:25:
  • New track, new rap
  • Gives up after a few bars
1:51:59:
  • New video on creepy videos or something
  • Just watching the video and saying nothing
2:06:30:
  • Demon noises
  • Wants to learn pig Latin to mess with Christians
  • Googles how to say hail Satan in Latin
  • Says he fucks with demons and he’s not possessed
  • Zuuuu Zuuuuuuu
2:09:00:
  • Rant’s about the Karen meme. It’s not fair to nice women named Karen
  • Back to watching the video and not talking
2:13:46:
  • Watches another video
  • Gender relations rant
  • Bans someone in chat for spamming Socks off for gender issues lol
  • Back to gender relations rant
He's live again:
 
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Ellesse_warrior said:
Grifter Kobes is my favourite. Hustle man!

View attachment 1828592

Start:
  • Offering relationship advice straight off the bat
  • Doesn’t want every video he makes to be about gender relations
  • Checks his funds
  • Says he might lower the price of his carpet
  • Monitorization isn’t back yet. Shills his PayPal. #Donationsaren’tneccessarybutgreatlyappreciated
6:33:
  • Advertises his carpet
  • Person who get’s the smallest piece will get a free wand
  • Autographs the carpet
27:50:
  • Finished autographing the carpet pieces
  • Suggests he might do an NYE flash sale
30:01:
  • Starts watching a food challenge video
34:00:
  • For the duration of the livestream he’s lowered the price to $44
  • He originally charged $100 because he had to pay $200 for paint for the old apartment
  • Shills his Etsy link
  • Remember, free wand!
  • Back to the video. He doesn’t really say anything
40:50:
  • Fixing his beard
  • Still watching the video and not talking
43:10:
  • I thought his pants were also camouflage. WTF is all over them?
  • Still watching the video and not talking.
  • Looks like he’s gonna fall asleep.
1:00:14:
  • Checks his Etsy and he’s got 7 new carpet orders
  • Exhumed Visions asked him to put out some cigarettes on his. Kobes says he can do that
  • Once the stream ends the carpets are going back up to $100. Free wand also!
1:04:00:
  • Shills his T-shirts
1:05:44:
  • Belltower video reaction (Still better than Sydney Watson, he should do more of these)
1:07:44:
  • He didn’t like those bells
  • Back to the video
1:09:19:
  • Plays a video about Alexi Laiho’s death
  • Guitarists come and go but their music lives on
1:13:34:
  • Guitar shredding
1:32:55:
  • Smoking his pipe for Alexi Laiho
  • Back to watching the video
1:35:26:
  • Moment of silence for Alexi Laiho
  • Thank you for ‘absorbing’ a moment of silence with Kobes
1:37:25:
  • Spitting some troll slaying rhymes
1:39:50:
  • Plays a new track but decides not to use it.
1:40:27:
  • New track, new rap (This sounds awesome on 2X speed)
1:42:46:
  • New track, new rap
  • Stops for a smoke break then straight back to spitting rhymes.
1:45:53:
  • New track, new rap.
  • He’s rapping and waving his wand around. Amazing!
1:48:57:
  • Checks his Etsy again. He’s had 9 carpet orders.
  • Only $44 for the stream, also free wand!
1:50:25:
  • New track, new rap
  • Gives up after a few bars
1:51:59:
  • New video on creepy videos or something
  • Just watching the video and saying nothing
2:06:30:
  • Demon noises
  • Wants to learn pig Latin to mess with Christians
  • Googles how to say hail Satan in Latin
  • Says he fucks with demons and he’s not possessed
  • Zuuuu Zuuuuuuu
2:09:00:
  • Rant’s about the Karen meme. It’s not fair to nice women named Karen
  • Back to watching the video and not talking
2:13:46:
  • Watches another video
  • Gender relations rant
  • Bans someone in chat for spamming Socks off for gender issues lol
  • Back to gender relations rant
He's live again:
Click to expand...
Thank you once again EW!

I like grifter Cobes too but he should actually use some creative power to make something. Doesn't he sell every wand usually? You would think he would try pumping them out until the well ran dry. The album? That's primo content.
 
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Pepper Jack said:
He is cutting up and signing the back of the carpet.

He is going on about the hard work he did to clean his apartment.

Who wouldn't want this piece of Cobraistory?
View attachment 1827827

It is only $100 per carpet piece. He is considering offering a New Years sale but doesn't give the sale price.
Click to expand...
I'm juuuust spastic enough to where if he sold much, much smaller chunks for like $5, laminated where I wouldn't have to directly touch it, and I knew for sure only food and beer had been spilled on it,. I'd probably "ironically" buy one.

Knowing he's dropped Cobra venom all over that fucking place? Not if it were 10 cents. Hold a black light to that shit and it would probably combust.
 
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KillThemCrackasBabies said:
I'm juuuust spastic enough to where if he sold much, much smaller chunks for like $5, laminated where I wouldn't have to directly touch it, and I knew for sure only food and beer had been spilled on it,. I'd probably "ironically" buy one.

Knowing he's dropped Cobra venom all over that fucking place? Not if it were 10 cents. Hold a black light to that shit and it would probably combust.
Click to expand...
You know for an absolute fact he was indiscriminately dropping loads over every square inch of that carpet.
 
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KillThemCrackasBabies said:
I'm juuuust spastic enough to where if he sold much, much smaller chunks for like $5, laminated where I wouldn't have to directly touch it, and I knew for sure only food and beer had been spilled on it,. I'd probably "ironically" buy one.

Knowing he's dropped Cobra venom all over that fucking place? Not if it were 10 cents. Hold a black light to that shit and it would probably combust.
Click to expand...
I somewhat agree with this. The whole roll would be a like a literal nightmare.
Even the 1 foot squares, I imagine myself opening the package and looking at it, my face turning from a smile to a grimace. Probably shouldn't even be touching it without gloves and a mask on.
It if were laminated or put in one of those acrylic cubes you see souvenirs in, that would be okay.
In it's state now I get grossed out just thinking about holding a chunk.
 
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Start:
  • Going to do a gender relations rant and a drink combination
  • Shills his food review video
  • Liking his new apartment much more than his old one.
  • Someone calls him but he doesn’t pick up. Says he doesn’t like to use his phone on stream because it’s rude to his viewers.
3:42:
  • Starts playing Roma Army video. She’s an MRA, Kobes is an equality activist.
6:00:
  • Roma Army is being censored for being an MRA
  • He’s totally not simping
7:48:
  • He has a different perspective on his dry spell because Roma Army is still an MRA even after her ex tried to kill her
  • Sydney Watson is still an MRA even after getting raped by a bunch of men.
10:00:
  • Talks about people being widowed.
  • All these things make him feel like a piece of shit for complaining about his dry spell.
12:15:
  • Women and men are being attacked for supporting men’s rights
  • This is why MGTOW happens
  • Parrots what Roma Army says
16:00:
  • Roma Army is being accused of grooming minors because most of her following is underage boys
  • Parrots what she says in the video
18:30:
  • Teamwork!
  • Back to parroting what’s said in the video
20:30:
  • Women are attacking Roma Army because society teaches them to be victims
24:51:
  • Drinks out
  • Reads the Disorono bottle
  • Takes a shot
27:30:
  • Drink combination with added simping for Roma Army
  • Gender relations rant
35:12:
  • Women are catty
38:00:
  • Parrots what Roma Army says in her video
  • 2+2=Fish ????
40:30:
  • Arguing with women doesn’t work. Uses a Bill Barr (Burr) bit as an example.
42:00:
  • Gives terrible relationship advice
  • Boxing metaphor
  • He keeps going with this couple fight scenario
47:25:
  • Back to repeating what she says in the video
  • Food review video is finished processing
  • Back to the video and simping for Roma Army
49:48:
  • Disarono and cherry Dr. Pepper is a good above age drink combo TWU
50:40:
  • Yells at chat. He’s not harassing anyone, he’s fighting for gender equality
  • Takes a phone call.
52:40:
  • Your voice is your strongest tool!
  • Drink combo is called cobra’s blood TWU
  • Only for adults who are old enough to consume alcoholic beverages
  • Ranting at chat about how he’s fighting for gender and racial equality. Power to the people.
58:00:
  • Talking about his pizza
  • Talking about his drink combination.
  • Chug attempt
1:00:33:
  • Just sitting in silence staring at the stream
1:01:20:
  • Not going to get trashed on his tasty drink
  • He got the last bottle of Disarono on the shelf
1:02:50:
  • The liquor you drink has nothing to do with your sexuality. This is the problem with our society
1:03:49:
  • Shills his PayPal #youdon’thavetodonatebutdonationsaregreatlyappreciated
  • KingSoapraJFS!
1:06:09:
  • He wants to make pheromone soap for women so that when they are around men who use tactical soap they will react to each other.
  • Still shilling Tactical Soap
1:09:00:
  • Reading chat
1:11:08:
  • Chi Ball to finish off the stream.

Start:
  • He’s got crazy bread, mountain dew, sauces and a little ceasers pizza.
  • Buffalo ranch on pizza.
  • Drinks buffalo ranch from the pot.
4:16:
  • Garlic butter on pizza.
  • Drinks garlic butter from pot
6:05:
  • Yukbang
8:03:
  • Crust action
  • That’s pipe tobacco ash under his nails apparently
9:02:
  • #notasponsorjustfreeadvertisement
9:37:
  • Crazy bread
11:27:
  • Marinara sauce basically
12:56:
  • Puts the leftovers in the kitchen
14:27:
  • Carbonation action
  • Mountain Dew for dessert
Tard Hub posted a best of reddit video:
 
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Ellesse_warrior said:
Someone calls him but he doesn’t pick up. Says he doesn’t like to use his phone on stream because it’s rude to his viewers.
Click to expand...
Truly a polite gentleman, people like him don't exist anymore.
Ellesse_warrior said:
Disarono and cherry Dr. Pepper is a good above age drink combo TWU
Click to expand...
Christ on a bike I cannot think of a sickeningly sweeter, disgusting combination of drinks
Ellesse_warrior said:
Takes a phone call.
Click to expand...
Oh. :(
 
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If you watch his original stream, you can tell that after he serenates his bowel movement on stream he not only does not flush but also doesn't wash his hands.
Imagine homedad Clint coming to visit his son when he notices an additional aroma and sees a loaf sitting in the bowl through the open bathroom door. Casper WI is truely some sort of twilight zone.
 
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The subreddit has made frequent mentions of Jord "sexually harassing people in school" over the past several days and I have no idea what the fuck they're talking about, did new information come to light? I can't find what they're talking about and at best some people are pointing to the fact he chimped out a few times over him reminiscing on HS and droning off into stories about how "So everyone else can run around pinching asscheeks but if I so much as LOOK at them I'M the pervert?!" and that doesn't seem like it would warrant such a response.

Did something pop up or are they just being faggots?
 
KillThemCrackasBabies said:
The subreddit has made frequent mentions of Jord "sexually harassing people in school" over the past several days and I have no idea what the fuck they're talking about, did new information come to light? I can't find what they're talking about and at best some people are pointing to the fact he chimped out a few times over him reminiscing on HS and droning off into stories about how "So everyone else can run around pinching asscheeks but if I so much as LOOK at them I'M the pervert?!" and that doesn't seem like it would warrant such a response.

Did something pop up or are they just being faggots?
Click to expand...
I have no doubts that Josh was bad/creepy with girls when he was younger, but I also don't know what they're talking about. Nothing new or different has come out that I've seen. The main issue is that his reddit is filled with some of the most a loggy faggots I've ever seen. Lots of creative people, but tons of pathetic trolls who actually want to hurt Cobra.
 
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KillThemCrackasBabies said:
The subreddit has made frequent mentions of Jord "sexually harassing people in school" over the past several days and I have no idea what the fuck they're talking about, did new information come to light? I
Click to expand...

He mentioned being punished (suspended IIRC)by the school after creeping on some girl in one of his livestreams recently.
I can't be bothered to sit through several hours of good smelling dead air and gender-relations rants, so I hope someone here remembers what video that was in and posts it.
 
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January Cyst said:
He mentioned being punished (suspended IIRC)by the school after creeping on some girl in one of his livestreams recently.
I can't be bothered to sit through several hours of good smelling dead air and gender-relations rants, so I hope someone here remembers what video that was in and posts it.
Click to expand...
This stream:
Ellesse_warrior said:
:lit: This could only happen to Kobes

Also, he talks so fast in his older videos in comparison to his current ones. Alcohol and paint fumes has melted his brain.

Latest stream:
View attachment 1710163
Start:
- Talking about his plan for a ventilated wand station when he gets a new place. He'll put the table near a window and paint one wand at a time.
- Has a few prospective apartments lined up
- Started packing
- Once he's moved his stuff out he will clean, paint and replace the carpet and blinds.
4:46:
- Gender relations
6:21:
- He's happy that Roma Army has a boyfriend
- No Pusseh!
8:11:
- Drinking Joose
- Sings a Joose song
9:07:
- Starts watching incel video
- Talking about wands
11:40:
- Gender relations rant. Both men and women should be good cooks. Chicks dig home made chocolate cakes.
13:09:
- KingSoapraJFS!
- Back to watching the video
- Ranting about cat calling
15:02:
- Shills his Teespring
- Talking about catcalling with his dad. Says it would be weird to catcall women if he was walking down the street with his step mom
17:56:
- Society says it's okay for women to catcall men but not the other way around.
18:33:
- Muted DTTS's coming in nicely toobs.
- Trolls stop him from getting an of age goth girlfriend
- Muh autism
20:33:
- Muted DTTS's coming in nicely toobs
21:10:
- He will find a new place to live and improve gender relations along the way.
- Back to watching the video
23:06:
- Women are only creeped out by catcalling if the dude is unattractive or creepy
24:20:
- Shills his people suck I need a beer shirt
- Women get offended at being called attractive only when they think the dude is ugly
26:00:
- Was accused of sexual harassment at school by a girl who was definitely secretly attracted to him and dressed provocatively but she is probably sorry now because he is such a big YouTube celebrity.
29:40:
- People might like being complimented on their looks after going to the gym.
- Talks about girls making lewd comments at men in gyms or touching their muscles in the gym. Men wouldn't get away with this.
33:50:
- Men are only valued for their income or being able to fix things. Women are valued on their looks. Society is unfair to both sexes.
35:05:
- Incels= feminazis
- Ranting about how single parents are treated in the dating scene.
37:13:
- Incel rant
- Says he saw a video of himself ranting about not getting laid in 10 months and says he isn't the same person as he was in that video and doesn't like the type of person he was in that video.
- Gender relations
40:40:
- Talks about when he got his first kiss (He ditched class when he was 18 and got his first kiss)
42:00:
- Focusing on the positives of being single
44:33:
- If Trump wins don't riot.
- Stop the violence
- Body positivity movement
- There is no body positivity movement for men - unfair
- Life is shit for everyone
51:10:
- KingSoapraJFS!
52:03:
- He only has one great grandparent left.
- Talks about his great grandparents relationship
55:51:
- Incel rant
- He grew up with his step mom studying women's history so he is educated in the struggles of women
58:40:
- He's keeping his cans for Darfliny to smelt.
- Gave Darfliny tactical soap
- Homedad Clint likes Tactical soap
- KingSoapraJFS!
1:01:25:
- They can't legally make a soap that makes women want to fuck you on the spot
1:04:16:
- Gives dating advice on how to seduce men/ women
1:08:00:
- Talking about the election
1:10:15:
- Incel rant
- Video game nerds = incels
- Gamer girls exist
Click to expand...
 
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