Leaked stuff

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There's a lot of competition, I know, but "thanks a lump" may still be my favorite CWC-ism. It just hits the perfect notes of pathetic resignation.

Also, Chris telling Catie to grow some empathy, calling her "bitchy" and "common," then trying to reconcile like none of that shit happened remains amazing. Chris really has no theory of mind when it comes to people he's hurt.
 
"You can't rationalize or disillusion yourself like Daffy Duck did." I don't know what Looney Toons shorts Chris has been watching, but I wanna watch'em too.
 
There is being childish, and then there is being Chris. How...just...HOW can he honestly say that he is mature enough for any kind of a romantic/sexual relationship when they only way he can convey his feelings is through toy analogies and cartoon references?

Fuck... @Marvin pass the booze and/or cannabis.
 
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The Dude said:
How...just...HOW can he honestly say that he is mature enough for any kind of a romantic/sexual relationship when they only way he can convey his feelings is through toy analogies and cartoon references?
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"BECAUSE I DESERVE IT AND HAVE GOOD EMPATHY FOR LONELY-HEARTED SADNESS AND THE BEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SONIC'S ARMS ARE NOT FREAKING BLUEEEEEEEEEE!"

That's how.
 
The Dude said:
How...just...HOW can he honestly say that he is mature enough for any kind of a romantic/sexual relationship when they only way he can convey his feelings is through toy analogies and cartoon references?
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I'll have you know that Chris is a man. He pulled weeds and moved ten ton doghouses under the hot hot sun.

Honestly, I should be surprised, but it's Chris. The fact that this is almost par for the course is almost terrifying now, but I would honestly have been surprised if Chris had backed off.

I suppose... shame on Chris for meeting our expectations. ... Shame on Chris for even having expectations on being this kind of person.
 
I can't believe he didn't make a metaphor about how his heart aches like stepping on a thousand razor-edged lego bricks, scattered across his filthy floor in the middle of the night. That shit actually hurts.
 
Hellblazer said:
Very much so. If he pulls off an upset and somehow wins Lolcow of the Year again, we should send him a commemorative Sonichu trilby instead of a statue.
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All the greats have that extra 20% that they can call on when they need it. We saw that the day after Christmas with the "don't call anybody" video. I was able to see 5 greats at their peek in my lifetime: Michael Jordan, Wayne Gretzky, Payton Manning, Tiger Woods and Christian Weston Chandler. If he wants to make a run for it, he can.
 
All the toy and cartoon analogies are really childish, but what really gets to me is him shamelessly saying how his mother feels about her. It just adds a whole different level of kiddie and creepy to the situation. What Barb thinks of her SHOULD be completely irrelevant to his relationship with Catie, platonic or not-- but sadly, that's just not how Chris works. It's just really toxic and depressing.
 
"If we were in bed, you could enjoy this near seven incher damn cock!"

I think this is my favorite quote in this entire batch. If there was ever something that shows this whole LGBT is just another attempt for china, this is it. Even after deeming his duck an "ugly growth", covering it up with a strap on in an effort to pretend it's not there, zealously proclaiming to be a feminine soul who wants lesbian sex, he still glorifies his duck.

If he ever was able to (assuming first that hell froze over, a thousand years of darkness descended on the world, all of Narnia was overturned in fire and water, and Leonardo DiCaprio won an Oscar) get a woman in bed without paying her, he'd still fuck her. Strait sex, not lesbian sex.

When being manly didn't get him free china, he switched to trying to get it with a lesbian soul. And now when getting it with his "lesbian soul" didn't work, he went back to trying to get it by trying to act manly.

I have to wonder if Impulse banned him (be it because he tried to bring his Anti-Blarms movement into the place or for some other stupid reason), how long would this "lesbian soul" thing last afterward.
 
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CountOlaf said:
If he ever was able to (assuming first that hell froze over, a thousand years of darkness descended on the world, all of Narnia was overturned in fire and water, and Leonardo DiCaprio won an Oscar) get a woman in bed, he'd still fuck her. Strait sex, not lesbian sex.
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He did. He just had to pay for it.
 
Chris still hasn't learned that the "Friendzone" cannot be overcomed.
Shit, it's one of the first things you learn the hard way when you are a pathetic teenager trying to woo a girl for the first time.
 
CWCissey said:
He did. He just had to pay for it.
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Just a reminder: we're talking about the current tomgirl saga.
CountOlaf said:
Fair point, fixed my post.
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I see no reason to. He did pay, but before finding his inner lesbian.

As far as our sources go, he didn't pay nor received china for free, since he donned Barb's clothes his original crazy old aunt costume.
If he did, we'd be greeted with something along these lines on his facebook:
 
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