Let's Sperg Let's plays awful, and or mediocre games. - There a ton of them out there. (Starting with Virus: It's aware)

[ChucklesTheJester]

Evil Dead: Hail To the King Part 2: The Infamous Rape Tree, and Scouts.

Spoiler

I find it charming that in some screens it looks like leaves are falling down when you enter them.

Of couse with the limits of 2000 era graphics looks less like leaves, and more like we have a sudden onset of sleet.

With our weed killer we can open a new path in the maze. The trouble is navigating the god damn maze.

I love these first frame shots where we see default model pose. He just wants a hug THIS BIG.

left

left again.

Going straight here, despite the angle of the camera making it look like you can't, you can. drew a little arrow there encase any one foolish enough to want to play this game reads this LP.

We are home free from here just follow the path.

and bullied by fucking skeletons.

and I mean bullied by them.

God I hate nonstop respawning enemies with a passion.

At the end of the path we come across thee roots blocking our way

No wonder this weed killer is banned in the US, it strong enough to kill haunted roots.

Say hello to "Tree Bitch"

Yes that the name of the boss. It's even the name of it's theme.

Not a fan of it. This boss is so boring that a 7 second clip will tell you everything you need to know about it.

That what the whole fight boils down to. A damage race to see who can kill who first. Encase you guys are wondering why I keep opening the inventory. It's a speedrunning trick.



If you open your inv after being knocked down, you skip the long animation to get up, and save your self some HP and Time.

God bless the people who speed run this game.

In fact Rather then torture you guys with this stupid boss any longer, I will talk quickly about the infamy that trees have in evil dead.

Spoiler

In the first movie and the remake. A deadite possessed tree rapes one of the teens. That is not me clutching pearls here, It happens in the movie, hell in the remake it even fucking weirder.

In the remake the deadite possessing the tree, takes the form of the girl, pukes out black liquid covered vines that then rapes her.

Evil dead 2 lightens this up a lot. Rather then raping a girl. It just tangles her up in vines, throws her to the ground, and then drags her at a high speed into a tree truck to her doom.

Hell I am willing to youtube that clip from evil dead 2 because evil dead 2 is still a great movie, and anyone who has not seen it should.

A evil tree even shows up in Ash Vs Evil dead, and that one just trees to eat a person.

I hope anyone reading that not familiar with evil dead isn't too weirded out about that spoiler for the movies.

THE EVIL Better tell Joan and Shitter to look out next time they in the woods.

Key to the car is needed to get to the next boss.

Like every boss killing it drops a save item with in a screen or two from the fight.

Killing tree bitch removes the maze. One of the best fucking things this game does.

We have to go down the path below the cabin to get to our car.

Fuck this large gas can.

Very poor placement.

I feel like princess from spaceballs.

The next page is too high up to grab.

Look at ash giving up, accepting he can never save his cars.

Ashe's cars are a lot like every girlfriend he gets. Taken away from him.

We can now get up on the car to get the page.

We also snag the battery out of it.

Next stop is upwards towards a camp.

Here we meet a new respawning enemy Skull bat. They have the same bug with oneliners as skeletons, but are super easy to kill and you could reasonablly farm a few small HP kits off them if you wanted to feel safe.

Ready for our next new enemy?

That's right, we going need a bunch of animatronics pizza mascots to stuff these little shits into.

: Sorry kids, next time. Don't trust fucking furries.

There a two hidden items here.

Which you can turn into a small gas.

Fish jerky.

We find some shotgun shells here.

The enemies really wanted to be shitty with me and not drop any shotgun ammo, but now I can switch to using it over the pistol.

Anyway we want to take the path downwards again.
Leading us to more scouts.

The thing is scouts don't respawn. There a set number of them that will spawn once enough of them die, they stop spawning all together.

Also good thing to note that one with the bow can shoot you, but get close enough and they rather just try to melee you.

I make sure to target them first.

Just because they don't respawn doesn't mean they don't bullshit spawn out of nowhere on you.

Loony toons shit here with that one.

We just need to keep going left.

Which leads us to this screen we came from the left hand side where that scout is chasing us from.

I know evil dead takes place in america, but uh.

Why the hell did this one have 20 shotgun shells on it?

Was this Dick Cheney as a child?

Another case of spawning out of nowhere right in front of us. This one has one of those one frame windows to see the default pose.

In this case, is melted into the floor pose.

See those rocks pass this guy that where we need to go. It's a mine.

If we look at the rocks close up.

Using the shovel

Ash doesn't like this haunted ass moan. So much so he makes the world's smallest fucking hole to get in.

Here we find the second crafting manual. We just get it for popping into this cave.

We can now turn the brown (looks white) mushrooms into small HP kits.

This is what the battery is for.

Ash refuses to go down the mine shaft with out the lights on. And to be fair to ash, after Evil dead 1 and 2, I don't blame him.

I make a safety save at the box as well. Just because I am semi decent at this, the next boss still trips me up.

Don't have to worry you can't fall off this. I've tried.

here the intro and full fight with the scout master.
We need to talk about how goofy this intro for the boss is.

This deadite was waiting not only in a god damn mine that was blocked with rocks. Also missing battery power for the lights.
Where does he wait inside this place? IN SOME HOLE IN THE WALL FULL OF SKULL BATS. Waiting for some chump to walk in so he can jump out, like this was some fucking NetherRealm fighting game intro. Seriously this whole intro plays out like we about to start a Mortal Kombat fight.

It even follows the way those intros are written. Which is very Ironic in hindsight, as ash was at one point going to be in the MK11 before being mysteriously Cancelled.

I do love the way this guy is textured.

This is a hint to how to beat this boss.

Look at this goofy ass fucking waddle run he does. This boss fight is a joy to look at, not to play.

You asking what do you need to do to beat this guy right?

See the 3 support beams. You have to lure him close to one AND HIT IT YOURSELF.

He says the same line every time you do it as well as makes that glitchy motion with his knife.

Small pebbles drop on him with the purple gas textures. It also looks this way in the DC version, so I suspect the PC version might be a port of it, or vise versa.
This leads to something interesting about the PS1 version.

Skip to the boss fight in this guys play through of it. (Look I am not in that much need of pain to play this a third time on the PS1)

While it still looks like shit overall. It looks like rocks are falling on him now.

Another thing to mention about this fight. If the scout master isn't close enough YOU TAKE THE DAMAGE FROM THE ROCKS WHEN YOU HIT IT.

Look at this shit. Apparently having a deadite far enough up ash's ass isn't considered close enough .

OH AND DON'T GET ME STARTED HOW EACH POLE CAN ONLY DAMAGE HIM A SET AMOUNT OF TIMES.

LOOK AT THIS. WHY DESIGN IT LIKE THIS? THIS ISN'T FUN. This is just frustrating.

It also feels like he gets faster the more you damage him. But that could just be my mind slowly breaking down from playing bad games too much.

There no special animation or anything for killing him. He just falls over dead from the pebbles hitting him.


You don't get the page directly from him, you get a key. And to get out of this stupid cave.

You have to go between these two small wooden stakes and interact.

Time to go get out next and last page.

You can start to understand why this game got under 50/100's when this is the better half of this game.

Back here to the right.

We can open this gate, but first a page on the ground.

Ohhh Cookie mixer.

Here the key we got from the boss.

Yes this message stays for quite a long time.

Hey guys looks, the page is out in the open, ours for the taking what could ruin this?

You can see why I target these little bastards first.

We randomly get this message killing them.

The rifle deals less damage then the shotgun but has more ammo loaded at a time. It's the middle weapon.

Before I end this.

I forgot to mention we have a map. Nothing wrong with it.

And I guess I'll show text from pages 2-5 of the Necronomicon.

With that we end update 2. Next update we finish the first half of this game. Yes it's that short we almost half way done.

 

[ChucklesTheJester]

I didn't want this post to be part of the second update.

I wanted to ask you guys. What makes a game mediocre, and what makes a game great in your opinion?

For me I think age is truly the definite factor. Games that age well stay great, while games that age poorly will fall into obscurity, or at worst end up being unplayable as standards slowly rise over time. A game that is truly good will be able to get you to play it from start to end no matter how old it is.

But that just my Opinion.

 

[Mary the Goldsmith]

A evil tree even shows up in Ash Vs Evil dead, and that one just trees to eat a person.

I see what you did there.

 

[eternal dog mongler]

I wanted to ask you guys. What makes a game mediocre, and what makes a game great in your opinion?

At this point, there's no difference. You make your own fun.

 

[TheRetardKing]

POV: You wanted Mortal Kombat on Sega for Christmas. Mom bought you Barney instead because MK is too violent.

Shit.

 

[ChucklesTheJester]

I'm chipping away at getting the video cuts and screenshots for update 3. It's going to be pretty small update.

But here a (not) fun little spoiler you wont see in the video when ever it's done.

I made sure to cut this out of the video (and update) as no one should be stuck waiting 8 god damn seconds for a god damn cut scene to load.

Seriously I thought the game froze at this point as other cut scenes never took this long according to my hazy recollection.

 

[Mary the Goldsmith]

Its funny some modern triple A titles also have this problem of taking too long to load a cutscene

 

[ChucklesTheJester]

Its funny some modern triple A titles also have this problem of taking too long to load a cutscene

I can forgive this one as the cutscene is a long one, but I aint making any of you who care enough to watch the video on youtube, the painful awkward 8 second still image pause.

Evil Dead: Hail To the King Part 3: MEMBER EVIL DEAD 2?

Spoiler: MEMBER WHEN WHEN ASH SAID GROOVY?

For what ever reason the church main door is locked. Trust me this lock is resident evil tier outlandish.

Welcome to the graveyard.

There 4 Mausoleums in all. two on each side. They are not all useful, but I'll show whats inside each.

First one contains our first item for the lock. And a skeleton that popped out of the stone floors.

Ash asks it the real hard hitting questions.

That is a lot of blood for a thing that only old bones.

How did it get here? Why is it involved in this lock? Because FUCK YOU, that why.

There our next item, that weirdly colored grave.

Have you figured out the gimmick yet?

Just the chest in here.

You can see the "puzzle" lock above me there.

Just a save tape in here.

I have no idea if this is a reference to something, and I am far too tired trying to get this out to google.
Also weirdly we don't get any medical items from this. You think ash would steal that medic bag but he doesn't.

Just a better shot of the doctor in the coffin.

The last one has a sapling AND A SKULL BAT OoooOoo spooky.

Ash saving a future girl from being raped by a tree by stealing this.

Okay this lock.

Pretty sure this ted is Ted Raimi. No he is not dead. He even came back for Ash vs the Evil dead to reprise his role as a certain deadite.
The hat goes here, which I guess means scout boss's name is ted.

Also I swear I did not edit this in.

It seriously plays that voice clip when you place it. Even in death he is blessing us with his SON OF A.

MEMBER LINDA FROM EVIL DEAD 2?

Leaving.

The tree sapling for the last one.

And that UNLOCKS THE DOOR FOR SOME REASON. WHY DOES THE DOOR LOCK AND UNLOCK BASED ON 4 RANDOM ASS GRAVES IN FRONT OF IT?

This really isn't even a puzzle, you can't place the wrong thing in the wrong spot.

Time for boss fight.

This is bone ash.

Just another damage race. I hope you stocked up on HP kits.

But we get something good for beating him.

According to the guides on this game. WE JUST TRIPLED OUR FUEL TIME.

from 30 to 90 seconds.

After beating him this happens.

And ash jumps walks(and then falls because ash gets no breaks) down.

Welcome to the confusing tunnel that exists under the church that connects back to the house.

Deadites and skeletons spawn down here.

In the next room

We find a projector that useless. That record player plays some kind of music but the soundtrack didn't list it.

You can also turn it off.

That was purely accidental it spawned at the perfect time like that.
Even deadites like music I guess.

There also a pipe in here. We get back to that.

The next room our path gets blocked by steam,

Thankfully on the ground is a

All we need to do is to tighten a nut.

MEMBER THE WALL BLOOD FLOOD IN EVIL DEAD 2?

I really like how it colors the room red.

Even the screen is covered.

I also make sure to save my game because BOSS FIGHT TIME.

This time I am separating the intro to it and the fight.

MEMBER ANNA KNOWBY?

Spoiler: Spoilers for evil dead 2

Anyway member berry aside in evil dead 2 she helps ash open the portal to send the deadites back, only to be stabbed in the back by ash's still possessed hand with the dagger.
And then ash gets pulled into the portal.

MEMEBER HENRIETTA FRUIT CELLAR LINE?
MEMBER FRESH SOUL LINE?

And for any of you have not seen the movie.

This is a two stage boss fight.

Stage one also has this funny looking range attack where she uses the dagger as a wand.
Just damage race her for the most part there is a cheese of sorts to her I'll talk about in a bit.


Once you get to 1/3 life on her she transforms into

MEMBER WHEN HENRIETTA TRANSFORMED INTO LONG NECK DEMON?

Okay I'll stop member berrying you guys.

All it does is replace the wand attack with one hell of a neck attack .

The cheese is she can be stun locked with the guns.

You can do this for both forms, but you have limited ammo so just pick which form you hate the most and shoot it.

For anyone not into watch a 3 and a half minute long cutscene I'll give a quick run down of the events.

Ash goes back into the cabin from the fruit celler door we couldn't open before.

Pastor 100% true and honest is at the top already waiting for us.

He got jenny here ready to be exercised

He says the mumbo jumbo words.

and he TORE OPEN A PORTAL IN TIME, AND FLUNG HIM INTO THE FUTURE.

WHERE HIS EVIL IS LAW

NOW THE FOOL SEEKS TO RETURN TO THE PAST

AND UNDO THE EVIL THAT IS AKU.

Oh wait that the wrong script. my bad.

He send the deadite into the past.

and uh oh I don't like the look on Pastor Aku there.

Turns out he not 100% true and honest. At this rate he going to fiddle diddle some kiddles.

It was really EVIL ASH.

Who steals out girl.

Which leads to the 2022 Oscars. He better keep's ash's name out of his mouth.

Would be extra funny if someone added a slide whistle to this.

ash follows

leaving behind the hat.

We see some random Arab in jail after 9/11

Talking bout some man from the sky falling.

The sky shits out ash.

And we meet the off spring of a black and jew mating.

He tells us the basic shit we need to know.

Find the guy locked up because he prophesied us falling out of the sky.

I'll end this with the note on the floor.

We are now officially half way done. And the game only going to get shorter from here.

Till next time.

 

[Anon88]

Already half way done? This really is a short game. I guess I shouldn't be too surprised though most survival horror games tend to not be very long.

 

[TheRetardKing]

If we bring back the M&Ms for the Series X and PS5 using Unreal Engine 5, we could upgrade from N64 to PS2 textures, and then add fancy raytracing graphics.

The Switch version would then give it DS graphics.

 

[ChucklesTheJester]

At first glance, I thought this was a more general thread, I'll retool the post I intended to make as a suggestion in case you're looking for a crappy, obscure RTS game to play.

https://www.gamespot.com/reviews/armored-moon-the-next-eden-review/1900-2538027/

As said in the article it's not the worst RTS game by far, even when the review was written, but it has two attributes that imho should be sufficient to grant it a spot in some kind of Hall of Shame:

1. It has arguably worse graphics than the original Warcraft, despite requiring a more advanced graphics card.

2. It came out 31st of January, 1998 in USA. Original Starcraft was released in 31st of March the same year.

Little update on Armored moon game.

I was planning to scout out what game I should do next after evil dead as I like to be prepared ahead of time. yeah fuck trying to get this game to even install.

You can't even play it in DOSBox with out jumping through hoops such as installing windows 3.1 in DOSBOX Because people who made the game thought of the wonderful idea to have the installer use windows 3.1 to install the game but not to play it. It still uses DOS to play the game. So

Not worth the hassle for just a bland game.

I did play the demo of it. Any of you can as well, in your browser no less.

https://www.dosgamesarchive.com/download/armored-moon-the-next-eden/

The Idea of having only a limited number of troops you can spawn in total is interesting. But that alone not enough to warrant wading the DOSbox window 3.1 headaches.

But thank you for suggesting this game.

 

[blood in coom]

Played a game called Haven the other day, made by the same people that made Furi.
Furi was a good game, a bit tricky, but you can see where the fun is.
Haven on the other hand, amazes me how close it gets to almost being fun. Its gets so close, it is hard to describe the feeling it gave me during my time with it. I had more fun thinking about this than the game itself.
It's like the feeling you get when you complete/understand the core gameplay loop of a game. Eg, completing a shrine in botw, glory kills in Doom or rounding tight corner in Forza.
Haven only takes you halfway with this, you will clear an area and defeat enemies but never feel satisfied with anything. Just expecting if there was more to it or a larger payoff.
This isnt including any of the troon pandering all of this thing, everything about this game is very halfassed. Half of the devs working on it were twitter artists/freelancers. Odd because Furi sold pretty well and they had an entire in-house team for that.

 

[ChucklesTheJester]

I am tired of waiting for Troonites to stop attacking the farms, so I am going to get to working on the next update. Sorry it took this long, I had the video recorded before this fourm turned into a battleground, but the day I was going to get started on screencapping an editing bits of the video into smaller segments. Happen to be when the current attack started. I've been biding my time so when I do write up the post it's not me waiting for screencap failing to upload for a hour.

Anyway here a spoiler of what I nicknamed Drip Skeleton.

I have never seen one of these armored skeletons spawn so blatantly like this, even better it happen behind me.
Normally They spawn off screen, unless I am now misremembering shit.


Oh and for the sake of the meme.

 

[ChucklesTheJester]

Evil Dead: Hail To the King Part 4: Good, Bad, I am the guy with the awful memes.
(If anything is fucked up tell me I'll fix it when I wake up)

Spoiler

Small recap because it's been some time.
Evil ash is back. Evil ash stole our girl. We killed a few bosses, one of them looking like what I expect the people attacking this site to look like in real life. Ash got transported through time again.

Back to the LP

The game is nice enough to give us a save tape over on the slope. I don't need it with how many I have stocked up.

Of course this is nothing compared to the like 3 others in the save chest.

Thank god mushrooms spawn in this day and age that we can make mentos out of.

Let's move a bit froward shall we.

Uhhhh.

You okay there skeletons?

Yeah they do that headless chicken run even in other ports of this game. Maybe they are just happy to see someone worth fighting after so many years.

So are you guys ready to know what the gimmick is with these guys?

They play dead. There a good chance (Not sure the % but it's seems to be high) that rather then dying they just lay on the ground for a bit then get up ready to fight again.

After enough kills ( Full kills, not that playing dead bullshit) they drop a piece of a pulley system. We need to kill enough for all three.

And I caught one uh spazzing out like he just read he has a thread on kiwi farms. Look at him go.

And for some reason despite being in 9th century they drop ammo for our guns.

Trust me this is far from the weirdest ammo that can drop, wait till you see one of the upgraded guns later.

After killing this one we get the "drip skeleton" as I go for the mushroom.

You think this meme is dead, I got more dead memes for ya guys later. All this extra non LP free time from the attack on the farms gave me a time to learn how to green screen towards the end of this update a very shitty meme.

I accidentally got a screenshot of the middle of animation these guys do when shot. I thought it was funny. I can just hear it now.

Oh fuck right off. I am not crazy right? He spawned right on top of me and got a free hit.

You get a finishing move on a skeleton and they don't play dead ever.

Thank god evil ash didn't tell the skeleton to jump off the sides of this place and off the mountain. We never get these items if he was smart like that.

Once you got the last piece Deadites start to spawn instead.

Disabled? Mother fucker, they dissembled it, and ran like this was the ghetto.

You know according to the comic version of army of darkness written by both of the Raimies ( So I guess it's canon) Ash has a engineering degree.

God I love the prerended backgrounds in this game.

Half on me, half on the game.


Also want to see a skeleton who refuses to die?

I counted it goes downs 6 times (5 on screen 1 off screen) before it finally dies.

Also I swear the game is mocking me at this point.

This piece of shit AI decided to spin after getting up like I do when I beat a boss. Okay speak up which member of the 41% is haunting this version of the game?
Anyway lore time with that paper on the ground.

So nice of them to leave this OUTSIDE OF HIS CELL. Was the skeleton reading it waiting for us?

Time we talk to this guy in jail.

Cliff notes:

Someone (likely evil ash) fucks with the skyrim time scale option.

Oh and before I show you the next part reminder this game came a little under a year before 9/11.

Yeah he a good guy and all, but if this came out a year later I bet ya he would have not looked like a orange reskin of Osama bin Laden.

Anyway he tells us he was translating the book of the dead ash gets reasonably uppity about anything to do with that book.

Anyway Evil ash shows up with the full already translated book, so the guild throws this fuck in jail because he tried to warn them that the book is bad news bears.

(Ash being ash when anyone mentions the book of the dead)

Anyway we agree to break this fuck out of jail. We get told to ask the people who are now around about something called. "White Scimitar" as it is part of the bomb.

Onto the game.

It's night time now as shown by that gif. Which means no enemies will spawn for now, and we have 2 NPCs. One hidden behind a door and this merchant guy over here.

Can you blame him? We got a mother fucking chainsaw for a hand.

The other man is pass this door to a newly unlocked room.

Inside we also find our first of 3 gun upgrades.

You can use it on any of the guns. Melee sadly can not be upgraded. I always go for the shotgun first.

The upgrade give any gun you use it on double the ammo capacity, and up the damage. According to a guide I saw on game faqs. If shotgun was High damage, it is now VERY HIGH damage.

Let's go talk to the merchant.

He ask him about the keyword and turns out WE ARE MAKING A FUCKING BOMB.

he asks us to find the powder in the building, and we also need to find a fuse.

So we have to go to the left here off screen for a hidden room.

We have to do this to open the temple.

By interacting with this the big old front doors we walked pass a few times are now open.

Thank god mushrooms still spawn.

We can also now talk to this guy and get rope. Hey maybe we can use it to hang all the lost accounts in the great password reset.

After getting the rope deadites now spawn here. and that guy disappears. Ohhhh spooky.

Now it's time for another Fuck you moment.

On the other side of the room is the white stuff we need.

I also spot another fun bug.

Poor guy tries one attack gives up.

Time we go give the stuff to the mechant.

He uh, pulls a fuel tank our of his pocket dimension.

I get what the devs was trying here, But to me it looks like he reaches into his pocket and pulls it out.

Once he gives us this we combine all 3 of the items together.

And then this happens.

Maybe the idea is they NPC hides and deadites show up. my headcanon is deadites are helping ash purely to fool him and get these hits in as payment.

Anyway it's time we use the bomb.

Ash puts the bomb down in front of the door and lights it.

Uh Ash, I am no bomb expert but wouldn't the fireball go inside THE SMALL ENCLOSED ROOM AND INCINERATE THE GUY?

God it even looks like he not expecting to live.

Seriously look how big this explosion is. He is 100% dead. I don't care about no game logic here, this mofu has to have anime plot armor to not die to this.

That or he a deadite. Verdict is still out on which one so far.

Anyway he tells us to go do some puzzle or something to drain the water and to get his notes.

He has to open the door first.

Which he opens by doing this.

I think he might be a anime.

Originally I was planning to stop here, but as the FNAF 2 fan song goes. " IT'S BEEN SO LONG"

So I'll treat ya guys to a extra long episode. Thank the trannies who attacked the farms.

Our second upgrade.

I use it on the rifle to make it now fire spikes. Yeah sure.

We just need to find the two orbs to place on these spots.

We take the left path first, and then a right at the end of the hallway.

This is where we meet my favorite enemy. The familiar they come in 3 colors, and for the most part harmless. They easily stun lockable, and are like walking pinatas.

They can drop ammo and small HP kits.

So about that new types of ammo.

Once you upgrade the shotgun shells no longer drop. you get FUCKING ROCK SALT.

Questioning how,why ,or anything else is pointless. We just making the enemy very SALTY.

As you can see it now holds 4 ammo rather then 2.

Drip familiar.

in that chest we find spikes.

I just noticed the paper is floating.

What you about to see next will be pretty unexpected.

That's right.

YE OLD KKK DEADITES.

I don't care if they not really the KKK. They got the hoods that all that matters to me.

(FUCK BRO LET'S KILL US SOME GAYS!)

He drops us a key.

We can use the key on the other side.

here a good shot of one of the familiar models. IT'S A HEAD.

Use the key and inside is.

Blue Or maybe purple (Blame Ao oni for gaslighting me on what the fuck color blue and purple apparently are) flavored KKK.

This fight makes these guys look like chumps. I've even added some fitting music.

Fun Fact, like granny, if you hit them when they attack, the attack wont hurt you.

Also here another reason I shouldn't fucking play in the middle of the time dead tired.

I spend a good 7 seconds trying to grab it from the wrong angle. (The song is buttercup)

At the end of the corrdor we are in this room has the other key. Alsoanother note.

Another KoolaidKK.

Btw is it just me or does this feel like if you added some chains, this would turn into a scooby doo game with those phantoms.

(SOME OF MY BEST FRIENDS ARE NEO NAZIS)

With this we can open a locked door in the first hallway.

We also get a looked at the tentacle model of the familiar.

You guys semi know where the next room is. So I'll skip showing me go to it.

UH OH INVERSE KKK.

(Loud music meme warning) (Also A classic RE song.) Just as sad as the blue ones.

This familiar waited outside let's "pet it"

I really do find these things cute. In a pet sort of way.

This does remind me. Off topic but at some point a familiar ran around a corner like it was trying to jump scare me.

You go little scamp keep trying.

We place the sun

and the earth here. and suddenly we are a Indana Jones game for a hot second.

It opens up a boss room

Not with this, but with

Look at this fucking reject G virus monster.






Here the boss fight with "Mr fancy pants"

Oh and just want to say if you are the type to ignore all the videos I post. Please look at this next one. Cringe with the rest of us.
I did say the best dead meme would be towards the end. So here it is.

Spoiler

Encase you wondered how I did it, Gmod GreenScreen.

So the water drains

Evil ash is evil. And says who cares if ash is getting closer we have the full book.

He sends us down to make sure everything is clear and free of monsters or something so he can get to his lair.

We not ending it quite yet little more.

Are you ready for our next puzzle?

This is in fact the hardest puzzle in the game, getting all 6 of the earthly comp-

Yes the game really just did that.

I can't tell if this was meant as a joke, or the devs lampshading how they had to rush stuff towards the end here.

When we walk in here out of nowhere we get another boss fight.

It's a m1 fest like all of them, but encase you wondering why there this random ass skeleton with overalls in here with a Boss HP bar.

it's a reference to the second movie. Spoilers ahoy!

Spoiler

https://evildead.fandom.com/wiki/Jake

In the second movie he gets pulled down into the cellar and killed with ash layer finding his skeleton.

Right pump we can't do, the left one drains the water one more level.

In this room we find .

The last lever before I end this update.

We know where we must go. Till next time.

 

[Mary the Goldsmith]

Glad to see this LP back, I'm really lost due to knowing jack about the Evil dead franchaise, but its entertaining to watch

 

[ChucklesTheJester]

Glad to see this LP back, I'm really lost due to knowing jack about the Evil dead franchaise, but its entertaining to watch

You aint missing much but the references I point out such as Jake's skeleton. Anything that happens in this game wont carry over to other media for Evil dead. Hell even the second game A Fistful of Boomstick, doesn't reference anything in this game. The third game Regeneration, follows it's own bizarro plot where Army of Darkness(The third movie) never happens.

Just treat the story as it's own thing.

 

[ChucklesTheJester]

(I want to say now I am sorry for this rabbit holey partly off partly on topic post for the game)

Okay Okay I want to point something out here.

I was looking at some game faq guides just to see what other people think, or said back when this game came out. (Feel free to insult me for caring this much about a funny ha ha bad game. ) To my shock what I thought was a very obvious reference to Jake from evil dead 2 was lost on people. 2 out of 5 of them didn't try to give a name to the boss just mentioning he is easy.

Then we have one that flipped between.

and

The next one called him wimpy skeleton as well.

and the last one most bafflingly called it

I want to give these people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it was the small CRT monitors or what ever computer monitors was made from back in the early 2000's making it hard to see.

BUT A PITCH FORK?

If you close your eyes almost all the way maybe you could mistake what is a wrench for a pitchfork.

But Hear me out here guys.

Wouldn't it make more sense to call it a FARMER rather then a mechanic if it used a pitchfork? Is it because he doesn't wear a straw hat he can't be called farmer?

AND THEN, AND THEN I FOUND A VIDEO ON FACE BOOK FROM 2020 GIVING NAMES TO THE BOSSES WHICH I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF THEY PLAYED THE GAME OR KNOW EVIL DEAD HAS MOVIES.

(fun fact this guy has a official name according to the sound track.

)

Trust me the names somehow get worse in the video, but I can't show them for spoiler reasons.


Am I going overly emotional over this pointless ass shit? Yes. Yes I am. And I might be the only person neurotic, and or autistic enough to care enough.


Again I am sorry for this post being me springing out at nonsense. Again feel free to insult me for this.

God damn this is going to haunt the back of my mind like how every time I see something purple I think of the word blue.

 

[ChucklesTheJester]

Evil Dead: Hail To the King Part 5:

Spoiler

First thing let's get out of this sewer.

Fucker tried to hit me and missed. Ash really gets no breaks.

I spent a good second going for the mushroom.

I will like to mention this is not one of those up at 3 am moments. The game really for some reason didn't want me to go down there.

Boy let me tell ya what. This next area pretty damn short. If you check the video length it's something like 10 minutes around there.

This is the possessed suit of armor our next main boss.

I can't be the only one here thinking this guy looks out of place right?

He looks like something you might see in a bad mobile ad.

Look out ash! The WoW Paladin with a transmog set gonna use his over sized pizza cutter and hammer on you.

Funny thing is if the head was slightly changed to a skeleton in a helmet, and the horns pointed up more you could have easily flavored it after a skeleton in Army of darkness movie.

But Nah we get god damn RAID EVIL DEAD LEGENDS OVER HERE.

I do wonder if this model was designed for some other game, and just reused here because of how vastly different in both design and lighting it is. Look at how bright it was compared to ash.

Ash locks the door so need to worry about the bootleg overlord 7 years before that game was even a thing. Real shame that series had only 2 games, and trying to convince me other wise will be met with fingers in the ears.

Thankfully box is here encase you for what ever reason forgot to get something out of it.

Seriously the box is pretty damn useless.

Little hook on the wall requires we get a item to open the door to the right.

Door to the left is opened for us.
The painting on the wall there a clue of sorts on how to beat the armor. Now of course you literally don't need to notice it because the boss is so piss easy you have to be a child to not figure it out in seconds.

No idea why they give us a cutscene of these 2.

Maybe I got lucky, or Rocksalt shotgun is OP.

Door to the right is once again unopenabled right now. That one says " locked from the other side" So left we go.

There nails in this what ever the fuck it is. They used for the nail gun, the upgraded hand gun.

I didn't screencap the nails but it's not like anyone cares about learning that nails are shocker of shocks nails .

Also when closing the menu

I got a gif of the frame or two of these skeletons spawn pose.

Aw how cute, it just tried. But now that I think about it, if all skeletons here spawn in the asleep pose and they waking up a frame or two later. THEN I KNOW WHO EVIL ASH REALLY IS.

I Was bound to reference the best game ever at some point.

No challenge from any of these mook. Pepper em with salt. This one does drop something we need.

We can open that door now.

For some reason there also a save film in this room.

On our way back the room where the 2 skeletons danced for a second, we can check this thing for rock salt.

Use the hook on this thing.

And away we go!

The only door we can open in this hall is that one. The one way below us off screen is locked right now.

Welcome to the black smiths.

Ignore the scrap box we grab it on the way back.

We need to go up the stairs.

Just like you ,I have no reason why that needed to be a cut scene.

I will note about this skeleton fought more bravely then the rest.

Despite me shooting him a bunch he powers through to hit me.

and die right after from one last shot.


Evil ash doesn't deserve a skeleton as good as you.

The skeleton didn't drop this. It's just always here.

Thing is there only one door that locked and needs a key. So this little thing is both kinds of skeleton key.

I nab the scrap box.

Yeah sure nails that work better then fucking bullets.

If salt is somehow working better then nails must also.

I spotted this while looking through he video recording. Look under ashes feet.

For a few frames this showed up, and I can tell what it is now.

This lighting fixture is for what ever reason being rendered down there as well for a few frames. Not sure if this is a Game bug, or a emulator issue.

Oh well.

Out of all the rooms in the armory I think this one looks the best. I am a real sucker for fireplaces.

Also that chest there has a large first aid kit.

LORE!

Dur, I wonder if this note outlining how to stop the unkillable armor will come in handy .

Anyway we go into the next room and.

UH OH POINTLESS HP BAR ON A BOSS THAT IS PISS EASY AND NOT WORTH EVEN TAKING A VIDEO OF ALERT!
But it is worth a gif of when you enter the room.

This is the skeleton captain. Or as the facebook video that gave those random ass names to the other bosses calls him.

I have no idea what the fuck the head armor even meant to be maybe wings type of design .

Which you could try to tie into army of darkness with one of the many random ass skeletons in the undead army.

But we stretching it at this point. I will say we are stretching it less then calling it a FUCKING VIKING.

He drops the key mold. Why not a key? Because fuck you we needed a tiny but of extra padding.

Oh and deadites now spawn in the hallway to block your way also because

fuck you that's why.

See this table here you need to use the mold here.

You wouldn't know to do this at first.

If you inspect the table.

Please note we have no metals of strange origins, and yet we can do this.

I had to look up a guide for this because I was stuck for a good 20 minutes my first time playing. You can really start to see them rushing a bit now.

Let's use the key.

For any one not willing to watch 12 seconds.

One of the big cups has issue and we need to go fix it.

Then these two show up here looking around like abbot and Costello unlocking the door to the right.
You guys know who that is right? Or am I being a boomer again referencing things far far too old ?

When they hear the big cup humping the broken rail.

Let's pick us up a rail.

I hear the track saw a artist posting art of a gen shin ship it didn't like.

I fucking hate these guys spawning here they block the way every time.

Doesn't help the skeletons are filler at this point.

Let's see whats behind the door.

Lovely more filler. Next room.

This guy drops what we need.

Deadites can't touch us now.

You can also inspect the rack of weapons.

God these fucks are wearing me thin

Very thin.

( song is buttercup)

At the anvil if we interact with it now that we have both a hammer and bent track.

Our inventory opens and we can combine the two.

HeHeHeheHe.

I know I have a real bad habbit of making fun of gays, and others preferences but that stems from my hatred not towards the cool ones I have met, and seen offline, but towards the ones who use it as a shield to be sexual deviants and ruin shit for others.

In other words. Just put the stereotypical school shooter line here.

Let's fix this oversized cup and fight the boss.

Ash would do awful on MXC.

Opps I doing the boomer thing again.

Anyway let's fight grey shovel knight here. He is in fact a puzzle boss.

You need to pull the chain on both doors first. The first one here

fills it with water.

Second one is

Looks to be molten metal.

Pull the fire one again when he close to get this effect.

You know it hit him when he starts glowing red like this.

Do the water one, which has no effect when you do it other then the armor reacting like he been hit ,and his HP going down 50%.

Hey wanna see bullshit?

Look at that delay on the hit.

Do the whole fire and water shit again and you know you won when you see this frame for a full second follow by.

The armor getting so hot that despite it being POSSESSED, it acts like it was tommy, and tears apart.

YOU ARE TEARING ME APART ASH WILLIAM!

Gonna end this update here, but let's see if you notice the new thing yet.

I'll point it out next screenshot.

Ash has randomly stolen the over sized pizza cutter from the armor. No fan fair, no line he just now has it.

In the room we find

Drain time baby.



Next update will be the last for this game. Yeah we at the end it's pretty short game. If it wasn't for the fact Virus was even shorter then this, it wouldn't feel like it's way longer then it really is.

Till next time, and stay classy.

 

[ChucklesTheJester]

Little heads up because I like you keep you all updated on the insanity that happens around everything I touch. Final update might take some extra time. I go to start up game in PCem to get the final footage, and suddenly direct draw isn't working. Throwing out some error about unable to find the path to Ddraw or what ever.

Worst comes to worst I will have to reset the emualtor to defult and high chance to lose my save, I will edit this if I solve the problem.


Edit: I have solved the problem by completely removing direct X 8 by turning the Direct X buster program into a ISO and loading it into the emulator as a CD, using it to remove all of Direct 8, and then reinstalled it from scratch.

LP IS BACK ON BOYS IGNORE THE DOOM AND GLOOM

 

[Mary the Goldsmith]

this level reminded me of the first Devil May Cry game, good times, and of course I know whi Abbot and Costello are, they are the aliens from that one movie with Amy Adams and the guy who plays Hawkeye, can't remember the name....