I don't know where else or how else to post this, Anyways I recently found out my bestfriend from middle school is trooning out. Although hes not a complete degenerate as far as i know,
he unfortunately hit the typical Autism,Depression combo., And has apparently been in the community for years. Anyways hes been on hormones for 3 months which concerning enough with how detrimental they are to your health.
Eventually conceded on trying to get him to stop that portion when I found out he was intending to get the chop one of these days, Is there anything i can do to convince him its a horrible idea or is he to far gone. I Would much prefer it if he didnt commit suicide cause he was alloud to do somthing so harmful.
Hes still a nice guy, Didnt freak out when i tried to gently point out that its detrimental and that all the euphoria they speak of when they get the surgery is the effects of the opiates there on for pain management.
Honestly its kinda my fault for not keeping in contact more, If i were properly keeping up with him earlier i mightve been able to intervened before they really got there hooks into him.
I am not very eloquent and honestly really need advice, (assuming hes not to far gone, which he very well may be) But If i dont atleast try and stop him before he gets his ass mutilated I wont be able to forgive myself.
also wanted to post images of the text messages to see what else i could possibly say, But im not sure if this is the right thread, Nor do i know how to do that properly at the moment.
(Apologies if this is formatted like absolute garbage i dont really post on forums in general)
hey fren, got some thoughts, hope they help.
People throw around “cult” here but there is some truth. First you’re lovebombed, then you become emotionally dependent on the group, and lose contact with other people, sources of information and ultimately yourself. A lot of what follows comes from my reading up on cults and how to get out of them.
Basically, people get out of them with a combination of the following: when they know there’s someone caring and non-judgmental outside who will take them in, when they see behaviour inside the cult that is inconsistent with teachings, and/or when they are questioning and find information. Once they’re out they have to rebuild their sense of identity away from the structure of the cult.
It is tempting to dump information on your friend, but I’d advise against it for two reasons. Firstly your friend is not looking for information! He is looking for meaning - who am I, why am I unhappy? Trans groomers are giving him the meaning - he’s really a girl. Secondly, why should he trust your information over people claiming to have superior information because they’re trans? Basically, bogus information is their preferred battleground. Why fight on it?
Your preferred battleground is one they can’t fight on. That battleground is meaning, your care, and your presence in real life.
Start by meeting up with him outside - suggest a walk, volunteering at the animal shelter, cooking classes, whatever. It means there is an external activity his autism can focus on, and it’s helpful for depression. And it helps him find meaning outside of his mind - he might be a great cook, or like rescuing dogs, or identifying trees on your walk. Try to find something gender-neutral, or that has normies in it, so he can see men and women enjoying it. You might enjoy it too!
When gender comes up (and it will) ask him open-ended questions. Why does he think that about being a male? Gee, you never thought of it that way, your experience is…. Gently challenge his stereotyped views of men and women. RuPaul or Billy Paul can wear a dress without being trans. Cate Blanchett wears suits. Think of a gentle man you both know, or an uncaring woman. They’re still their biological sex, aren’t they? How does he feel on hormones? Are there other things in his life that could be affecting his mood?
Once he trusts you are not being judgmental, you can drip information into your conversations. Say he claims neovaginas are indistinguishable from the real thing. Use your knowledge (or gain some!) of the muscular sexy wonder that is a vagina - can they make muscles like a woman’s? Does it self-clean? Let’s find out! Or if he spouts crap about moobs vs boobs, be curious and Google shit together. You gain more credibility if you put yourself on his level of knowledge, because it shows you’re learning together. That’s like the good old days back in school, so you reinforce the emotional bond outside of the cult, you avoid the battle of your expertise vs the cult’s, and stuff he learns himself will be more convincing than the information handed to him by the cult or by you.
Ultimately you’re not trying to gross him out with the horrors here. You’re trying to get him offline, and explore parts of himself outside of gender. That way you can guide him to identify what it is that makes him think he’s trans, explore that with him sympathetically, and get him into therapy with someone sane, if necessary, so that he deals with the real problems he undoubtedly has and builds a stronger sense of identity and of meaning.
Good luck!
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