If it's not out of the ordinary for you to have contact with the girlfriend, that might be something to make sympathetic noises about. Lot of change going on at once, sometimes people just grow apart, it's not a personal failing to not be polyamorous, be very certain of your birth control methods, does your lender allow loan assumption?
Thank you for the advice, and to everyone who read that massive blogpost lol, I really appreciate it.
I don't have contact with the girlfriend normally, but I'm gonna try to wrangle some kind of social get-together with all of them and my sister, who's gonna pull her aside and talk to her about the situation. Sister is a Tumblr-feminist artsy type, but completely agrees with me about the situation, perfect for this.
The core issue two-faceted:
1.) The two of them are/were 100% brainwashed enough to think that my cousin trooning out then sleeping around with other people, whilst still keeping the core relationship intact was not only possible, but anyone who would think otherwise is a bigoted, archaic, religious Drumpftard. While GF is obviously miserable and their relationship is failing, I don't know how much she accepts
why, and that it's ok for her to feel that way.
My cousin is still completely in denial, hence the panicking at her being sad. He's trying to tell himself that he can keep both those plates spinning. All his "friends" are gaslighting him into thinking he can. It's not possible, it never was, and it isn't right.
2.) My cousin likes to describe himself as being "As left-wing as humanly possible". Aside from general perversion, the reason that all this is happening is that he deliberately goes out of his way to take the most far-left stance on everything possible. It's his whole identity at this point.
In the late 00s, he was a spiky-clothes wearing, flag burning, "Fuck Bush" punk/metal guy.
Then, in the 10s he became a Bernie-voting, soybeard/hipster glasses, weed vaping ORANGE MAN BAD guy.
Now, he's a porn-addicted, COVID mask wearing, estrogen-taking, Sailor-Moon watching troon.
My overall point is that this retarded pattern of behavior means he's probably not going to do this forever (he and his troon friends have no plans on getting bottom surgery). Ultimately, my biggest fear in all this is that they both lose their soul mates and catastrophically fuck up their finances simultaneously over a stupid phase/fetish. If that happened, I could legitimately see him commiting suicide.
The difficult thing for me, is that everyone in his life who would push back against this are the stereotypical Fox News boomers in my family, who they would never listen to. Everyone else is either too liberal or passive to say anything.
I'm viewed more as the fun-loving, legal cocaine and machine guns libertarian.
Therefore, he still trusts and cares about me. I
might be able to get him to recognize what he's doing if I approach it the right way.
The OnlyFans thing made me realize the window's starting to close, and prompted me to vent here. Shit's gonna be like a bomb defusal; do or die, only gonna get one shot at this.