Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

  • Happy Easter!
I still think Lucas prefers teenage & adolescent girls; much like most men would prefer Ana de Armas or Blake Lively to Rachel Zeigler or Elizabeth Moss, though most men will probably settle for something closer to the latter.
But Lucas is a degenerate who will take any sex he can get, because all fantasizing about teenage girls aside, he is still desperate for sex. If the opportunity arises, Lucas will likely settle for any sex of any kind with any woman(+), even if its not his disgusting fantasy sex with his ideal type. Lucas probably would (has) suck(ed) a dick, his ego just doesn't want him to be the guy who sucks dicks but can't get any pussy.
Agreed. I think his preference is absolutely for young girls but also he's a desperate degenerate who is a threat to anyone in his orbit.
 
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He's driving himself nuts trying to figure this out and its going to build up into another spaz out before too long at this rate

Somebody should fuck with him by telling him they know exactly what she sees in him - he gumjobs her clit. Perhaps then he'd finally try to jump on that and admit he can do the same cause he has dentures

EDIT:

Lucas is starting to talk seriously mental again:
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Mallon place had better start thinking about putting eastern state on speed dial. If lucas keeps this up they're going to need it

EDIT 2:

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We have an age for her. Lucas claims shes 25. I'd take that with a grain of salt considering a 25 year old in a nursing home is a very rare thing unless they're completely debilitated and we all know how lucas tends to invent ages for people


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and a brain shaped hole in your head apparently as well
 
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I still think Lucas prefers teenage & adolescent girls; much like most men would prefer Ana de Armas or Blake Lively to Rachel Zeigler or Elizabeth Moss, though most men will probably settle for something closer to the latter.
But Lucas is a degenerate who will take any sex he can get, because all fantasizing about teenage girls aside, he is still desperate for sex. If the opportunity arises, Lucas will likely settle for any sex of any kind with any woman(+), even if its not his disgusting fantasy sex with his ideal type. Lucas probably would (has) suck(ed) a dick, his ego just doesn't want him to be the guy who sucks dicks but can't get any pussy.
Lucas is an opportunist. A sexual scavenger. If he were a bit more competent or bold, had a bit more resources, he’d be an outright sexual predator. However, given that he is a retarded, bumbling hobo, and also very lazy and terrified of competition, he just can’t go around raping everything in sight, and must resort to scavenging. Any easily accessible scraps of gash left lying around? He’ll try to swoop those up. This may contribute to his interest in young girls. Other men don’t see them as sexual objects, so to Lucas that means less competition. Perhaps this would also mean that Lucas would identify granny gash as an under-utilized resource, and go for it, too? Yet, Lucas also maintains standards, clings to the notion that he deserves a dime. He’s a sexual scavenger prowling the streets of Spokane, looking for smoking hot zoomer baes, unchallenged.

I wrote earlier that Lucas is terrified of competition, and this is accurate inasmuch as he certainly seems to avoid it at all costs, but he is also obsessed with sexual competition as represented by stealing girlfriends away from flatbills. This is one of his more amusing traits, and reflects his total sense of inferiority around other males which coexists with his sense of “plenty-goodness.”

That his current sexual contest matches him against a toothless redneck, whom Mallon Belle prefers anyway, is telling and amusing. If Mallon Belle is indeed 25, and with a toothless dude, we can make certain assumptions about her and her history. I think it's fair to say that she is vulnerable, and has a history of mental health problems and/or substance abuse. Lucas is drawn to vulnerability. Many of his tales of the laughing academy include bragging about flirting with baes there. You know, sick people in crisis who can't get away from him. On at least two separate occasions that I can recall off the top of my head, he went to great lengths to contact girls he met after being discharge, even tried sending them junkfood (classic Werner seduction technique). I personally find this a bit gross, and remind myself: laugh at the cow, do not growl at the cow.
 
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The latest comment on lucas's post....

King roy has now taken notice. I checked the profile, it looks like its actually legitimately him. Word must be getting around the family of lucas's latest psych hold adventure and aren't liking what they have seen or heard and king roy himself has thought it wise to reach out and have a little chat. Probably aware that if lucas fucks things up at mallon place he's going to be in a real bad place real quick
 
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The latest comment on lucas's post....

King roy has now taken notice. I checked the profile, it looks like its actually legitimately him. Word must be getting around the family of lucas's latest psych hold adventure and aren't liking what they have seen or heard and king roy himself has thought it wise to reach out and have a little chat. Probably aware that if lucas fucks things up at mallon place he's going to be in a real bad place real quick

He's gotta be losing his shit over that
 
He's gotta be losing his shit over that
He might not have noticed the post yet but when he does that should be interesting. Even lucas has enough brains to notice thats a low key stfu and stop obsessing over women like a crazy person statement and publicly at that. Its criticism from king roy of all people in public where others can see it and worst of all - has multiple likes already. Lucas will not react well to it. I won't be surprised if he either replies angrily or deletes it and sends king roy an angry looney rant and then blocks him again. He's definitely going to have some kind of reaction to it that won't be nice. Whether its public or not we've seen him go off at his parents enough times in the past to know how he's going to take this
 
Lucas is like a band that put out some dull, ponderous recordings, causing them to be written off by all but their most diehard fans, only to experience a sudden and dramatic return to form late in their career. Is there still life in this sick, nasty ol' cow? Maybe just a little?

This is turning out to be a productive winter for wernology. Laughing academy trips, freaking out about romantic rivals on social media, and now publicly getting roasted by his own father for being a weirdo, where people can leave a thumbs up or laughing emoji? Right on. That’s either the true and honest King Roy, or a particularly patient and detail oriented troll, and either way the future looks bright for Wernology for the first time in ages. I am guardedly optimistic that Luas will fire back at King Roy. Do it (fat) faggot. Do it.
 
View attachment 6723285
The latest comment on lucas's post....

King roy has now taken notice. I checked the profile, it looks like its actually legitimately him. Word must be getting around the family of lucas's latest psych hold adventure and aren't liking what they have seen or heard and king roy himself has thought it wise to reach out and have a little chat. Probably aware that if lucas fucks things up at mallon place he's going to be in a real bad place real quick
>she's 25
>a guy 1 year older than me

I don't know if this is the universe truly coming together to pwn Lucas or this is literally just Lucas unreliable schizobabble. What are the odds Mallon place just so happens to have a girl in her 20s and what are the odds she just so happens to pick a man older than the Wern?
Maybe this is why Lucas is so BIG MAD! because her picking an older dude shows Lucas that the issue is him and not his age; or maybe Lucas is fucked so hard in the head he's making this whole situation about "zoomer bae do sex with gen x sperm!".
I legitimately cannot tell right now if this is the most laughable set of coincidences or once again Lucas is making so much shit up that the truth is obscured.
:stress:

Lmao at the Elk King clowning on his exiled heir though
 
>she's 25
>a guy 1 year older than me

I don't know if this is the universe truly coming together to pwn Lucas or this is literally just Lucas unreliable schizobabble. What are the odds Mallon place just so happens to have a girl in her 20s and what are the odds she just so happens to pick a man older than the Wern?
Maybe this is why Lucas is so BIG MAD! because her picking an older dude shows Lucas that the issue is him and not his age; or maybe Lucas is fucked so hard in the head he's making this whole situation about "zoomer bae do sex with gen x sperm!".
I legitimately cannot tell right now if this is the most laughable set of coincidences or once again Lucas is making so much shit up that the truth is obscured.
:stress:

Lmao at the Elk King clowning on his exiled heir though
It's possible since Mallon is not a typical "senior" ALF but for those with mental problems. If she went off her rocker she'd fit in with the rest at Mallon Place. The Mallon Creeper was stalking/creeping on her and I'd say she wanted to get rid of him so when he went into the hospital it was her chance. Friending the other guy was her way of getting the Creeper off her back.

ETA:

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Shows how broke brained and entitled he is that he thinks a god if it exists is somehow required to give him a girlfriend and anything else he wants to prove its existence
No God would force a woman to submit to this evil freak's vile desires. If Lucas wants a reason that God doesn't exist, the fact that God hasn't struck him with lightning and sent him directly to Hell is a much better reason.
 
It's possible since Mallon is not a typical "senior" ALF but for those with mental problems. If she went off her rocker she'd fit in with the rest at Mallon Place. The Mallon Creeper was stalking/creeping on her and I'd say she wanted to get rid of him so when he went into the hospital it was her chance. Friending the other guy was her way of getting the Creeper off her back.

ETA:

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If I didn't know better i'd be wondering if he is deliberately trying to fuck with us by posting that but lucas being lucas he is completely oblivious to the fact that this is not the kind of thing he should be posting under the circumstances. Its a bad look and doesn't exactly help with the impression that he's working his way up to one of his famous spastic rants that'll get him into trouble again

Obsession by wern is not the gift this woman wants this holiday season i'm sure
 
God damn, Lucas is back to pure loon and King Roy kicks him when he's down. AMAZING.

Ok, so from my understanding (and half a bottle of bullit rye in) Mallon house is a old retard house but legally speaking any retardo can go there but mostly it's for old tardos that no one wants. Lucas is probably the youngest in there. He's a liar, all around. If the girl who he's into is 25, she's an employee (making way too little) they don't seem to be a half way dumping ground. I don't know WA states rules but here in the fetty cap of the world people get dumped into care homes for short terms till rehab beds show up, so maybe some junkie Lucas crushed on was in Mallon? But same time what they do probably not taking them?

Again, I dunno WA state rules. I just don't think any 25 year old no matter how many needle marks and mixed race kids she abandoned is there.

Lucas yes has major sexual hang ups, because as I said not joking he's had more sex with men than women. He's both a pedophile but anti LGBT. I say it because it's funny and he gets mad reading it but he's never had sex. His biggest sexual interaction was sucking Perva off. As a total perv and want to be "alpha" that looks bad. Some people experiment, and move on. A person who's married 10+ years smashing the wife might say ok yah I did X with another guy/girl. No one would doubt them as hetero. Lucas is a pedo and tries to comes off hetero, his only sex act was blowing a guy. Like a FAGGOT. (PS King Roy, I'm sorry to insult your disowned son, lets go hunting together and I'll bring some cubans and bourbon... oh wait you're poor and can't even hunt the elk on your land lol pleb)

He's going to lose his shit ASAP. This is amazing.

Again he says god isn't real because he/her/it doesn't bend to his will. I didn't win the lottery today, I mean I didn't play but... so god's not real? Lucas at the best doesn't bathe, and some how an unshowered fat freak being single disproved religion? It's interesting he reminds me of fat faggot and worse cook (amazing) Cooking with Jack. Lucas thinks if you insult god he will bend over for you, Jack thinks if you thank god you'll be gifted everything with no effort.

Sorry if I'm taking a religious turn because, it's something I've been studying lately i don't mean to be church lady (from old snl)

God he's so fat, I hope they cut the foot off at the knee, it'll be even funnier when he's booted from Mallon.
 
Obsession by wern is not the gift this woman wants this holiday season i'm sure
It's a men's cologne, you flatbill Gen-ZEEE credit card christian bigot!

Infused with the scent of piss-soaked sink, unwashed sweatpants and Clinkerdagger's salmon salad left out on the hotel nightstand overnight.
 
Lucas is an opportunist. A sexual scavenger. If he were a bit more competent or bold, had a bit more resources, he’d be an outright sexual predator. However, given that he is a retarded, bumbling hobo, and also very lazy and terrified of competition, he just can’t go around raping everything in sight, and must resort to scavenging. Any easily accessible scraps of gash left lying around? He’ll try to swoop those up. This may contribute to his interest in young girls. Other men don’t see them as sexual objects, so to Lucas that means less competition. Perhaps this would also mean that Lucas would identify granny gash as an under-utilized resource, and go for it, too? Yet, Lucas also maintains standards, clings to the notion that he deserves a dime. He’s a sexual scavenger prowling the streets of Spokane, looking for smoking hot zoomer baes, unchallenged.

I wrote earlier that Lucas is terrified of competition, and this is accurate inasmuch as he certainly seems to avoid it at all costs, but he is also obsessed with sexual competition as represented by stealing girlfriends away from flatbills. This is one of his more amusing traits, and reflects his total sense of inferiority around other males which coexists with his sense of “plenty-goodness.”

That his current sexual contest matches him against a toothless redneck, whom Mallon Belle prefers anyway, is telling and amusing. If Mallon Belle is indeed 25, and with a toothless dude, we can make certain assumptions about her and her history. I think it's fair to say that she is vulnerable, and has a history of mental health problems and/or substance abuse. Lucas is drawn to vulnerability. Many of his tales of the laughing academy include bragging about flirting with baes there. You know, sick people in crisis who can't get away from him. On at least two separate occasions that I can recall off the top of my head, he went to great lengths to contact girls he met after being discharge, even tried sending them junkfood (classic Werner seduction technique). I personally find this a bit gross, and remind myself: laugh at the cow, do not growl at the cow.

This is a very astute analysis.

I would recommend all Kiwis listen to this interview with a sex crimes detective. It totally changed the way I think about sexual predators and paedophiles and why they do what they do. One of the hardest things to do for normal people is to try to get into the headspace of someone who would commit crimes like that. It leads to a lot of people making assumptions about why they do and if you care about protecting kids just going with your hunches isn't good enough. Listen to a guy who spent 4 decades putting these creeps away.

Men who rape kids fall into two distinct categories. The first is the "Classic Paedophile". This is someone who isn't just interested in sex, they want a romantic relationship with a child. They are usually specifically attracted to children and not to adults, and their offending is only against children. This is the "children can consent" crowd. Lucas does not fall into this category. Lucas falls into the second category - "The Rapist".

Rapists, unlike Classic Pedos, are not particularly attracted to children. They are attracted to weakness and vulnerability. They are motivated not by physical sexual attraction to their victims, but by massive insecurity about their sexual prowess. They might have a micropenis or another physical deformity, body dysmorphia about their genitalia or general physical attractiveness, or have a massive complex about being too old to lose their virginity. They are frightened and intimidated by most women because they see them as more sexually experienced than them, and they are terrified of those women judging their ability in bed. Often they will fetishise purity and virginity, maybe making some kind of moral or political argument, but really because they think a child bride won't have been "spoiled" by having had sexual experiences with other men that the Rapist won't measure up to. They want naivety, because they want a partner who literally doesn't know any better.

Because their motivation is to find sexual partners who won't reject them for their lack of experience or ability, they don't only target children in the way the Classic Pedo does. They will target any woman who they think won't judge them. The Rapist's rap sheet will therefore also include attacks on the elderly, the disabled, nuns, anyone they think will be impressed by them or won't laugh at them. Think about CWC's attacks on Barb - he waited until she had such severe dementia that he figured she would have forgotten about her previous partners. In the Janke calls, he boasts about how much he thinks Barb enjoyed his raping her. Chris as we know had a massive inferiority complex about losing his virginity and looking for a "boyfriend-free girl". He was terrified of being in competition with any other man because he thought (or frankly knew) that he wouldn't measure up, so he waited until he had access to a vulnerable woman who no other man would even dream of sleeping with so he could have her all to himself.

Lucas is exactly the same. He is utterly terrified of competition from other men, because he has a gigantic inferiority complex about his sexual ability and experience. It's why he is fixated on "flatbills" - his preferred term for more sexually experienced men (the same way Incels talk about "Chad"). His resentment of these men taking women off the market and "ruining" them for him stems from his belief that no woman who has literally ever slept with any other man would ever choose to sleep with him (and frankly he's not wrong about that). The only thing that separates him from Incels is that he uses progressive terminology to express his beliefs rather than conservative terms - calling it "bigotry" against him and tries to leverage his massive sense of entitlement (to sex, money and frankly everything else in life) into some kind of social justice idea that he can use to blackmail young, vulnerable, impressionable liberal zoomer women into sleeping with him (exactly the way that transbians use progressive ideology to blackmail lesbians into taking the girldick). He also uses his idiotic "telomeres" pseudoscience to try to give himself more value on the sexual market - and of course "sexual market value" is an Incel concept as well.

Whether this woman is 25 or not I don't know. Personally I doubt it, but if she is then she must have some really serious issues to be at Mallon Place. There's a women visible in some of his bowling/pool hall pictures. I don't know if that's her but I suspect it might be. She looks older than 25 to me but a lot of profoundly disabled people look older than they are. It wouldn't matter anyway. Lucas has an age preference, sure, but age is not his real criterion. What Lucas looks for in a partner is a lack of sexual experience and an inability to judge him for his sexual inadequacies. That's why, despite his protestations that he wants a women in her 20s, he actually creeps on teenagers, because they are more likely to be sexually inexperienced.

And when he thought he'd finally found someone who fit those criteria, he fixated on her and she rejected him anyway. His entire "dating" strategy for the last two decades had been leading up to this moment, and he failed. He reacted as if his life's work had burned to the ground, which in a way it had. Everything he thought he knew about sex and relationships was disproven in an incident. And he was once again judged by a woman and found wanting. A guy with no teeth beat him in a sex competition. Not only had he lost his chance, but he must have felt utter despair at ever getting laid again. In a way, that's funny, but in another way, that's dangerous. We all know Lucas doesn't learn or self-reflect. He will feel, especially given his failing health, that he has less and less to lose and more to gain by just dragging a woman into the bushes and raping her. Let us hope that Lucas' cowardice and physical frailty continue to outweigh his desperation.
 
Whether this woman is 25 or not I don't know. Personally I doubt it, but if she is then she must have some really serious issues to be at Mallon Place. There's a women visible in some of his bowling/pool hall pictures. I don't know if that's her but I suspect it might be. She looks older than 25 to me but a lot of profoundly disabled people look older than they are. It wouldn't matter anyway. Lucas has an age preference, sure, but age is not his real criterion. What Lucas looks for in a partner is a lack of sexual experience and an inability to judge him for his sexual inadequacies. That's why, despite his protestations that he wants a women in her 20s, he actually creeps on teenagers, because they are more likely to be sexually inexperienced.
As I said prior- there could be a woman that age at Mallon. I do not think the woman in the pool hall picture is the one he is obsessed with but could be the younger woman's roommate. The one he talked about here:

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Whether this woman is 25 or not I don't know

What if he only thinks she's a resident but she's actually either a) an employee (who is possibly joined by a resident on her smoke breaks) or b) a daughter/granddaughter of a resident (who possibly smokes with her dad/granddad). He seems to have more auditory hallucinations than anything else (see: Lucas's story about a 4-ish-year-old girl asking him about sex or whatever that was) so he could have seen a younger woman talking to and/or smoking with an older man and jumped to his usual age-gap relationship conclusions, complete with hallucinating any sex-related conversations.
 
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