Mar-27-2023 - Chris is out of custody

[MrTroll]

Come on, gang, let's crowdfund him a PS5. He's earned it.

 

[FamicomGorby]

What, do fatties not believe the laws of thermodynamics apply to them?

Yes. Many believe that human bodies have a "set point" weight that they will automatically reach regardless of what they eat.

Good one.

Good point, but I feel in this case the chance to pocket legos from the production line would override Chris' endless laziness.

 

[Rockin da Worm]

What if some massive ween bailed him out and in like a week somebody makes a thread going "I freed Chris Chan, declare me your leader" or something similarly autistic?

 

[Cuddlebug]

Lock up your grandmas, CWC is on the prowl!

Ten bucks says he violates any possible court orders before the day is out. We all know he can't help himself.

Also...

Sex: male.

 

[Idiot Asshole]

He is risen!

 

[Cpl. Long Dong Silver]

Sonichu carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen it's true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of Fanta and when the drains finally scab over, all the jerkops will drown. The accumulated filth of all their trolling and weenery will foam up about their waists and all the true and honest boyfriend free girls and GameStop employees will look up and shout "Save us!"...

...and I'll look down, and whisper "no."

They had a choice, all of them. They could have followed in the footsteps of good men like my father, or President Truman. Decent men, who believed in a day's work for a day's Barbussy. Instead the followed the droppings of lechers and Liquid Chris and didn't realize that the trail led over a precipice until it was too late. Don't tell me they didn't have a choice.

Now the whole world stands on the brink, staring down into bloody hell, all those jerkops and weens and smooth-talkers... and all of a sudden, nobody can think of anything to say.

 

[DenseDeerFather]

Holy fuck, it's happening! Let a new era begin!

But I do wonder where he will live from now on. It's not like he can just mosey back to the house.

 

[Pobblebonk]

The Second Coming is upon us. Praise be to Jesus Christine Weston Chandler Sonichu, our True and Honest™ messiah!

 

[Seething Troon Collector]

I think this image is appropriate given the situation:

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

no effin' WAI!!!

 

[AfghanBlue]

I wonder who paid his bond, and how much it was...

Liz fong jones?
To cause a distraction

 

[Shitted Scaredless]

Wow. Good morning kiwis.

 

[Xarpho's Return]

Does the law say he has to? Yes. Are his toys still inside the house? Yes. Is Chris capable of not doing dumbass shit and learning from his mistakes? Hell no.

I thought reports from 14BLC was that someone had been throwing out crap from the house.

I find it unlikely that his room is exactly like he left in August 2021.

 

[Oligarca Caballero]

Lock up your grandmas, CWC is on the prowl!

Ten bucks says he violates any possible court orders before the day is out. We all know he can't help himself.

Also...

Sex: male.

I hope he detroons out. From the alleged conversation he has had it seems he has gotten manlier and all, maybe, just maybe, he got more of a grip on jail.

 

[Yksi_Toveri]

And thus begins the Revenge arc...

(Skip to 0:27) Actual Chris Chan revenge training montage.

 

[Lieutenant Rasczak]

Wow, this is an interesting turn of events in this Chris Chan saga.

 

[ICanLurkNoMore]

I can feel the merge overtaking meeeee.

fully expecting Chris to break the simplest condition in his bond by Wednesday.

 

[DAS RITE]

Well damn, I genuinely thought he was ganna be locked away in some sort of
in patient program. Ganna call my grandma to tell her to lock her doors & keep her gun handy

Edit to avoid double posting; it’s only a matter of time before the YouTube leeches find out about his release. How many people do you think will be prowling the streets to find Chris so they can get chontent for their retarded 2 hr vids

 

[MooseGump]

He was just training in the hyperbolic time chamber this whole time, ready to correct the merger

 

[actually a cat]

Here we go again. Get ready for the group home saga I guess.