May 3, 2022 - Chris returned to CVRJ

MuuMuu Bunnylips said:
"I'm sorry, Chis, but Mobius has no place for people like you. You touched you mother in a place and in a way that makes people uncomfortable and...
Click to expand...
When Chris was young and watching cartoons like this, a lot of shows had a little segment at the end to give kids good advice, I think to fulfill a requirement for children's programming to be educational. I don't know where it is but someone made a list of all the advice from Sonic's PSA's and Chris has disobeyed nearly everything Sonic said. Chris failed to learn these lessons even though he was richly rewarded for writing down a week's worth of them to win the Sonic contest.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
  • Feels
Reactions: awoo, Style, hambeerlyingnreed and 39 others
hes-back-agent-stone.gif
 
  • Like
  • Winner
  • Feels
Reactions: Style, SpiceyHuman, Hongourable Madisha and 15 others
Undersideofcwcspillow said:
I wonder if he was horrible at dying his hair and kept fucking it up? That's probably why it looks so much more full now.

This sent me to "all sonic says" and literally the first one is "don't call 911 if you're surrounded by 3 people trying to murder you." The 90s were a different time.
Click to expand...
That's what I had to google, All Sonic Says. I guess he didn't disobey everything, like I don't remember Chris ever getting sunburn.

Regarding his hair color, I think Chris wanted to have blue hair. I'm no expert but I think if you want to dye it blue and you're starting from brown, I think you're supposed to bleach it first. That's too much effort for Chris, who just went straight for the blue dye, resulting in kelp growing out of his head.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
  • Feels
Reactions: awoo, GethPrime, Hongourable Madisha and 24 others
themarchivist2 said:
Here's the best I could do with a combination of AI and manual editing. Think it looks better than the previous upscale, at least.
EDIT: Replaced it with a version that has improved colors.
View attachment 3245740
View attachment 3245624
Click to expand...
He looks strangely feminine. Not pretty, but not manly either. Very uncanny.

Regarding his hair, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had never used a good shampoo in his life, let alone conditioner. Whatever they use in the hospital, it’s better than what he’d been getting from the dollar general. Washing out the ugly dye job helped too. And someone combed out the tangles.

Hopkinsville Goblin said:
Regarding his hair color, I think Chris wanted to have blue hair. I'm no expert but I think if you want to dye it blue and you're starting from brown, I think you're supposed to bleach it first. That's too much effort for Chris, who just went straight for the blue dye, resulting in kelp growing out of his head.
Click to expand...
Correct on both counts. At some point he might have intentionally started using green because of an anime character with green hair. But he did it wrong, whatever he was going for. His original hair color requires bleach.
 
  • Like
  • Agree
  • Feels
Reactions: awoo, Sundae, sparklemilhouse and 18 others
A Grey Cat said:
Something I just noticed about the pic. His jail shirt is fucking filthy. Look at them side by side again and not how the newly issued shirt is nearly spotless yet after almost a year there's dirt practically embedded into the fabric.

Like I get Chris is a lazy dumbass who probably doesn't even know how to use a washing machine but don't jails have some laundry? The only reason his uniform should be that dirty is either cvrj is a shot jail that doesn't have any laundry service for its inmates or he hasn't bothered washing it in almost a year.
Click to expand...
You don’t do your own laundry in jail.
Hopkinsville Goblin said:
Regarding his hair color, I think Chris wanted to have blue hair. I'm no expert but I think if you want to dye it blue and you're starting from brown,
Click to expand...
It’s expensive and time consuming to get it done professionally and laborious and messy to do as an amateur. PL but I was trying to dye my hair silver since I look better gray and it was so much work and cost I gave up. No way Chris kept it up.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: Hongourable Madisha, Sundae, From The Uncanny Valley and 7 others
I hope he gets raped and murdered by the dregs of the Virginia correctional system, but maybe he's just going to be released into the general population, not even in prison, just the actual general population, in a couple weeks or so.
 
  • Mad at the Internet
  • Autistic
  • Like
Reactions: zero-who, SpiceyHuman, Rattus Ebrius and 87 others
I used to work in mental health and thank God I left. A lot of this has probably already been said but people also repeat the same things and people don't listen.

Chris being out is most likely because he was evaluated to not need a higher level of care, which would make his stay a waste of time, money, and a bed.

The place I worked for was private, so the only other time someone would get the boot is when they can't afford the care Being a state hospital, this can't be the reason. It also seems throwing him out if he's too incompetent seems unethical. There are far more mentally frustrating people in these facilities than Chris.

So they probably doped Chris up on horse tranquilizers, decided he can stand trial, and let him go. The photo has me thinking he is under some strong medication where he's tired, and lacking any emotion, except maybe some frustration about going back to jail.

Perhaps once his court date rolls around, the meds will be out of his system and he can go through his hearing without drooling on the floor.

But at least the silence was nice while it lasted.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
  • Agree
Reactions: Green Alien Baby, Style, SpiceyHuman and 36 others
Hopkinsville Goblin said:
That's what I had to google, All Sonic Says. I guess he didn't disobey everything, like I don't remember Chris ever getting sunburn.

Regarding his hair color, I think Chris wanted to have blue hair. I'm no expert but I think if you want to dye it blue and you're starting from brown, I think you're supposed to bleach it first. That's too much effort for Chris, who just went straight for the blue dye, resulting in kelp growing out of his head.
Click to expand...
So I watched all 62 Sonic Says. Chris has blatantly ignored 30 of them. 31 if he doesn't wear his seatbelt(i'm not sure).

It's interesting that he has ignored every single moral one(respect your elders, share, everyone is special) but he fervently stuck to the ones like "don't smoke" or "don't drink." I think those ones being associated with the bad guys made it easier for him to associate them with "don't do this."

It's also worth noting that a lot of the ones he hasn't blatantly ignored are just ones that have never come up. Chris doesn't skateboard, he doesn't swim, he doesn't go to the beach. Those very specific ones make up like half of these segments, but I'm sure if Chris DID do those things, he'd ignore those segments as well.
 
  • Informative
  • Like
  • Agree
Reactions: zero-who, awoo, Style and 42 others
Santa Fe Swag said:
His face looks beat to shit but I wonder what he's been doing with his hair, it actually looks nicer than its ever looked.
Click to expand...
He's been forced to take showers and no shitty hair dye.
Undersideofcwcspillow said:
So I watched all 62 Sonic Says. Chris has blatantly ignored 30 of them. 31 if he doesn't wear his seatbelt(i'm not sure).

It's interesting that he has ignored every single moral one(respect your elders, share, everyone is special) but he fervently stuck to the ones like "don't smoke" or "don't drink." I think those ones being associated with the bad guys made it easier for him to associate them with "don't do this."

It's also worth noting that a lot of the ones he hasn't blatantly ignored are just ones that have never come up. Chris doesn't skateboard, he doesn't swim, he doesn't go to the beach. Those very specific ones make up like half of these segments, but I'm sure if Chris DID do those things, he'd ignore those segments as well.
Click to expand...
I think he got it from Bob or church or something like that. Although I wouldn't question your theory about him only associating it with the bad guys. Come to think about it it would explain who he trusts and doesn't.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Hongourable Madisha, Sundae, Fireskull and 4 others
Undersideofcwcspillow said:
"all sonic says"
Click to expand...
Hopkinsville Goblin said:
I don't know where it is but someone made a list of all the advice from Sonic's PSA's and Chris has disobeyed nearly everything Sonic said.
Click to expand...
On another forum there's a thread that shows how much "Sonic Sez" went over Chris' head.

Looks like all Chris really learned was "Watch, and you can win!" from them.

Undersideofcwcspillow said:
The 90s were a different time.
Click to expand...
I think overall they were arguably a saner time. Especially in Chris' Life of Fail.
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Agree
  • Winner
Reactions: hambeerlyingnreed, Hongourable Madisha, Rattus Ebrius and 13 others
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back