OPL Christmas wish list

[A-Stump]

A Bella Ragazza no doubt... but perhaps a ton of childish chocolate?

I wonder if he likes eniv along with reeb?

Don't be knocking chocolate, that's what I always hope to get along with homemade cookies on Christmas

 

[ChurchOfGodBear]

Serious question... Will Chris get ANYTHING for Christmas, AT ALL?

The only person who could shop for him is Barb, and she's probably not healthy enough to do so. That leaves the pitiful possibility that the only presents Chris will open are ones he purchases for himself... which doesn't sound half bad, except if he had the funds to buy a PS4, he most certainly would have done so before now.

 

[The Knife]

Serious question... Will Chris get ANYTHING for Christmas, AT ALL?

The only person who could shop for him is Barb, and she's probably not healthy enough to do so. That leaves the pitiful possibility that the only presents Chris will open are ones he purchases for himself... which doesn't sound half bad, except if he had the funds to buy a PS4, he most certainly would have done so before now.

I'm really curious about the PS4 situation. I still wouldn't be surprised if Chris claimed one showed up under the tree courtesy of one of Santa's trolls elves, but on the other hand, delayed gratification is not something Chris does well, so it's more likely that the PS4 does not and probably will never exist.

 

[Da Pickle Monsta]

Most of Chris's Christmas wishes are unreasonable or impossible. I was re-reading the Jackie emails last night, and for Christmas he wanted "the destruction of every hateful webpage, forum, the CWCKI, and especially the damned Encyclopedia Dramatica, GONE, NEVER to be reuploaded," or words to that effect. Nearly every year before that, he wanted a girlfriend. Chris seems to get his perception of Christmas from feel-good Christmas specials and movies, where intangible wishes come true due to the Magic of the Holiday or other such malarkey. That being said, he's going to pine for his friends to come back, and then probably spend money (credit) on himself for Lego and pony crap.

But I wonder if Barb will get anything?

 

[Jewelsmakerguy]

But I wonder if Barb will get anything?

Probably not, seeing as Chris only cares about himself and all.

 

[babeintoyland]

He might get Barb another snowglobe with his face in it.

 

[MayMay]

I have a question about Chris and Santa. He told Jackie that he gave up on him after he didn't bring him a woman.

This implies he was was expecting/hoping Santa would bring him a woman. What form did he expect it to take. Did he expect Santa to create one and bring her down the chimney with him? Or did he just expect that Santa, as some sort of divine force would cause a woman to fall in love with him at some point.

Basically, my question is, when Chris came out of his room on Christmas morning, and there was no boyfriend-free girl sitting by the Christmas tree, did he say to himself, "Santa let me down."?

I think he was literally expecting Santa to kidnap a woman, tie her up in Chris' room and presumably the smell of catshit, chrisshit and axe would make her fall in love to an extent where she never says anything bad about him ever and does everything for him with a smile.

 

[Fuzzy Wuzzy]

I don't think he'll get anything; not even coal.

 

[Hyperion]

Even knows that won't believe that a ]P sent him a $400 game console.

Sadly he'll probably try anyway

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6azwhe8xhVI
Santa saw this video 9 (!) years ago

Thats why you don't put dumb shit on the internet lol

 

[Donald Duck]

Serious question... Will Chris get ANYTHING for Christmas, AT ALL?

The only person who could shop for him is Barb, and she's probably not healthy enough to do so. That leaves the pitiful possibility that the only presents Chris will open are ones he purchases for himself... which doesn't sound half bad, except if he had the funds to buy a PS4, he most certainly would have done so before now.

I'm really curious about the PS4 situation. I still wouldn't be surprised if Chris claimed one showed up under the tree courtesy of one of Santa's trolls elves, but on the other hand, delayed gratification is not something Chris does well, so it's more likely that the PS4 does not and probably will never exist.

I wonder if maybe Barb actually put her foot down and forced him not to buy a PS4. I don't really see Chris hesitating to charge it to a credit card if he really wants one and as we've seen, he seems to be pretty consistent with getting each new system that comes out so long as it isn't an Xbox.

 

[Vodka's My BFF]

1) A love doll that will never suffer a "serious internal injury."
2) People to come and apologize to him IN PERSON ONLY!!!!!
3) No longer having to tell people to IGNORE ALL GOOGLE RESULTS
4) Barb's holey buttocks to magically get better. ("Chrissun! It's a C-Mas Miracle!" "Mmm, yeah. Now I can continue my love quest.")
5) Gonna have to agree with everyone on the PSQuad
6) To be unbanned from everywhere and anywhere
7) Britney Spears to reveal herself to be Lovely Weather.

 

[Marvin]

Serious question... Will Chris get ANYTHING for Christmas, AT ALL?

The only person who could shop for him is Barb, and she's probably not healthy enough to do so. That leaves the pitiful possibility that the only presents Chris will open are ones he purchases for himself... which doesn't sound half bad, except if he had the funds to buy a PS4, he most certainly would have done so before now.

I'm really curious about the PS4 situation. I still wouldn't be surprised if Chris claimed one showed up under the tree courtesy of one of Santa's trolls elves, but on the other hand, delayed gratification is not something Chris does well, so it's more likely that the PS4 does not and probably will never exist.

I wonder if maybe Barb actually put her foot down and forced him not to buy a PS4. I don't really see Chris hesitating to charge it to a credit card if he really wants one and as we've seen, he seems to be pretty consistent with getting each new system that comes out so long as it isn't an Xbox.

Nah, Chris just didn't get it on his own.

 

[Donald Duck]

I wonder if maybe Barb actually put her foot down and forced him not to buy a PS4. I don't really see Chris hesitating to charge it to a credit card if he really wants one and as we've seen, he seems to be pretty consistent with getting each new system that comes out so long as it isn't an Xbox.

Nah, Chris just didn't get it on his own.

Wait... so he chose not to get it on his own? That could mean he's either uninterested in the PS4 or has finally grown conscious of his spending, deciding he doesn't need a new gaming system.... Holy shit, it's a miracle!!

.... on second thought... maybe he's just that broke.

 

[exball]

I wonder if maybe Barb actually put her foot down and forced him not to buy a PS4. I don't really see Chris hesitating to charge it to a credit card if he really wants one and as we've seen, he seems to be pretty consistent with getting each new system that comes out so long as it isn't an Xbox.

Nah, Chris just didn't get it on his own.

Wait... so he chose not to get it on his own? That could mean he's either uninterested in the PS4 or has finally grown conscious of his spending, deciding he doesn't need a new gaming system.... Holy shit, it's a miracle!!

.... on second thought... maybe he's just that broke.

He already spent da tugboat on a new officer Nasty.

 

[Christ-Chan]

But I wonder if Barb will get anything?

On the first day of Christmas my Christian gave to me
A tape of recorded TV

 

[CWCissey]

1. A cure for his homosexuality
2. A cure for autism
3. The Witch, The Bitch and The Bastard's heads on platters, particularly The Bitch's. It's time for a skullfucking!
4. A pity fuck from Anna
5. A pity fuck from his 'gal-pals'
6. Barb to undergo some form of mitosis that will give him a fuckmommy.
7. All the men to wear muscle bras.
8. Every single TWOLL site to disappear, causing all the TWOLLS to die instantly
9. A pity fuck from Tara Strong
10. Everywhere to unban him.
11. Plasters for Officer Nasty's puncture wounds
12. A PS4
13. A pity fuck from The Bitch's now headless body.
14. To be able to go back in time and leer at all the girls in his High School

Sadly none of these are possible.

Merry Christmas Christian! You fat fuck!

 

[LordCustos3]

This implies he was was expecting/hoping Santa would bring him a woman. What form did he expect it to take. Did he expect Santa to create one and bring her down the chimney with him? Or did he just expect that Santa, as some sort of divine force would cause a woman to fall in love with him at some point.

I think he expected a woman to fall in love with him for no reason around christmas time; Chris would then look up to the sky with a twinkle in his eye and whisper "thank you, Santa". The camera would then pan up to the starry night sky, where you would see a light flying in the distance and hear a "ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!" and then the credits would roll.

doesn't he realize his life is not a romcom, it's a waters/lynch collaboration

Mmmmm.....maybe more like a Lars von Trier/David Cronenberg production. Waters is too friendly to da Hohmos, and Lynch is far too clean and sane.

 

[GFYS]

He might get Barb another snowglobe with his face in it.

Shoot, I think I'm gonna get a few of these made, and mail them to unsuspecting friends. They just love tolerate my random access humor!

 

[fuzzypickles]

A PS4, the death of everyone who slighted him in life, assorted MLP merchandise, McDonald's gift cards, a fuck buddy, and (if he doesn't have it already) Sonic Lost World, assuming he has a Wii U.

 

[MysticMisty]

The only honest gift Chris is getting this year from Santa is either a bag of coal or this:

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mckf1 ... o1_500.jpg

I was in a store earlier today and they had little pickle-shaped tree ornaments with names on them. All I could think of was Chris and the thought of him opening package after package from "fans"/trolls of these little pickle ornaments with his name on them (and maybe a few that say Bob and Barb) and I damn year cracked up laughing in the middle of the store.