It's also funny that he has to lie in such a way that makes it so obvious it's a lie. Like if he had said "I had a girlfriend so was definitely getting pussy" like ok, maybe could be believable. King Cobra was getting pussy recently and he's only slightly more attractive and responsible than Ralph. But no, it has to be pussy lined up around the block. Like anyone believes any fat loser has girls falling all over him.
Same with his small dick cope. If he had said no, it's average, it was just a bad angle and it's like 6 or 6.5" inches, we probably still wouldn't' believe it but at least there's some plausibility. But no, has to be a big thick 8 incher and the camera just made it look absolutely miniscule.
For a guy that lies constantly, he's still not very good at it.