random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Snusmumriken]

From cute and human looking to horrific and uncanny, Korea done goofed.

 

[vomitusdeux]

Oh, what's a Virginia Birdbath you may ask? That's when your partner fills their mouth with Fanta and you dip your balls into it while they beat you off.

Chrissy Chandler had a schlong, did his father 40 wrong, when his dad was good and gone, gave his mother 41.

this meatball neckbeard looks like good content for the breadtube thread

Yikes. Now, instead of just looking like a necrophiliac fetish blowup doll, Clotso's ridiculously filtered pic looks like a necrophiliac fetish sharmuta/babushka blowup doll.

Her head shape looks like phimosis of the dick.

It's less that she doesn't deserve to rape and more that you are thirstposting on a smegma infested fat tranny.

I'd rather put my dick in the barrel of a loaded shotgun, have sex with it and pull the trigger. Less of a traumatic experience than anything to do with Chris or a fake prostate pussy.

I'd like to see the law that jails people for adopting cats.

Land O Lakes is a huge blow to native American women, because they sure as hell aren't sexy enough to recoup their image without butter.

I thought I was trying to kind, but I deserve to die in the slowest way possible and apparently fuck dogs.

I think the sky queefer comes from something else entirely.

Why is the internet full of degenerates? Can't I enjoy my cat videos in peace without fat retarded trannies?

Let Blobby Say Nigger

D-does that work? Does a man's ass feel that similar to a vagina?

@The Luigi Player I want to take him down a notch. I want to throw him into the grinder and turn him into a meatball. Every time I see that guy I have to go scream into my pillow and punch my stuffed animals for a half hour. I'm going to marry his mom so I can become his stepdad and subject him to psychological abuse and neglect.

I see with my eyes, nigger, and I see you're a man

I DO NOT LIVE IN A GODDAMNED GROUP HOME, and I DO PAY MY BILLS ON MY OWN.

I DO NOT LIVE IN A FREAKING GROUP HOME. NO I AM NOT MAD I AM USING THE CAPS TO MAKE A POINT.

And for the record the former people involved already tried to contact my home and failed miserably and realized I DON'T LIVE IN A GROUP HOME.

Is that a consent accident if you inject a dog hair into your body?

Again, with how much time I'm online, do you really think I live in a group home and can be online doing all the nudity stuff I did, etc?

What she ''needs'' is a kick in the rotten vagina.

I look forward to the bright red piggy face squeezing out the tears as best it can.

Well, the piss smell has to turn some heads

So basically she's a female Mr.Garrison

I've always put the cart back but now I'm not gonna anymore just to spite half this thread.

I might even take a little poop in there

Finally, time for the lunatics to realize they've made an awful mistkake and they should get some actual therapy if they ever want a chance of a normal life blame TERFS and Nazis and KiwiFarms for not allowing them to inject destructive drugs legally.

It's from a ballsack, not a balding hairline.

Ingredients: TRANNY CUM, CHLOROFORM, CAT TESTICLE HAIR (MALE), ESTROGEN (PROD.: USSR, 1967), CARBON TETRACHLORIDE, HIV, COCAINE, AMPHETAMINE, PROGESTERONE (PROD.: 1877, OTTOMAN EMPIRE), MONKEYPOX, BIS(CHLOROMETHYL) ETHER, DISSOLVED PVC, SNEED OIL, KEFFALS ASS CRACK SWEAT, 37% FORMALDEHYDE IN METHANOL, TETRACHLOROETHYLENE, SODIUM CYANIDE, LIZ FONG-JONES' NEOVAGINA FLUIDS.

Yeah that's right, @BargainBinLaden posts a bunch of shit questions but his penis isn't archived to the site... That I know of.

 

[Table Country]

Fun fact: years ago he was offered a voice acting job for "Angry Goy" and got rejected

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

You know how they say "Would you rather have a live daughter or a dead son?"

There are times when the dead son is the preferred option.

I gave every single post in this thread an :autism: rating.

My work here is done.

How the fuck have you dumb niggers been at this for 9 days?

I declare everyone in this thread to be a retard, myself included.

Good intentions pave the road to being a retard on the internet

I had them pegged as Male-to-Male Transsexuals

>Autistic OP
>Person being talked about is being autistic af
>People shouting back at him are also being autistic af
>People talking about him on here are also being autistic af

It's a day ending in y here on the Farms.

I'm more interested in the one guy that is giving every comment an autistic reaction. Can we get a thread on that guy?

The correct move is always to return the cart and also to run super-fast and shove it in the corral so it goes "KA-KSSSSSSSSSHH" when it hits the others.

My entire life, I've returned my shopping carts to the corral. I'll oftentimes move the shopping carts of other people to the corral if they're close. Once upon a time, I worked at a grocery store and it was my job to do so, so I empathize with the poor teenage kids pushing the carts and shoppers who have the wind blow carts into their cars and leave dents. Their job is made a great deal harder by selfish people who don't take the ten seconds to take responsibility for their own carts.

Having said that, there will likely come a day when I will be in a hurry for this reason or that or not feeling well. Perhaps, for once in my life, I won't return the shopping cart to the corral.

If, on the one day in my life that I didn't happen to do so and he was unfortunate enough to witness me doing so, that this ugly sperg charged at me with a camera yelling LAZYBONES at me and making siren noises, if I was having a particularly bad day, I might very well snap and beat him within an inch of his life on the spot. I wouldn't hold it against anybody who did.

He isn't doing mid-level violence, he's being gay at you. Laugh and drive away.

I’ve been watching this dude for years. It’s pretty great how he basically only has one joke and it still stays funny. Maybe I’m just a brainlet

The Shopping Cart thread is pure distilled amazing and I highly recommend that everyone here both browse through it and also leave your opinion to keep the dumpster fire burning.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

I wish to clarify that my "live daughter or dead son" post was not made in the shopping cart thread. But I wish it had been.

 

[Zero Day Defense]

Covid is such a gay disease. Anyone who died from covid should kill themselves.

 

[Meat Target]

as opposed to PG-rated sexual harassment?

My local crackheads love this one neat trick.

soon as the law is gone i will start killing all the people who ever wronged me in life, starting with the boy who stole my purple crayon on the second day of school.

Use a bidet. Spraying streams of water into your asshole is a lot less gay and more practical.

 

[Edict of Expulsion]

I loved it when Pippa went “It’s Pippin’ time!” and pipkinned all over Chase’s shitty new alt. Truly one of the vtuber interactions of all time.

Chase is dead and he's Chase's older and cooler twin brother, also named Chase.

 

[Return of the Freaker]

Imagine getting your asshole gently kissed by someone who just ate a mouthful of altoids and knowing you're clean. It's minty fresh.

 

[King Kiwi]

I wish to clarify that my "live daughter or dead son" post was not made in the shopping cart thread. But I wish it had been.

I personally like the "live daughter" part.

As it applies to me.

 

[easy]

"Hey, get your child porn out of my monkey penis torture porn!"

 

[SSj_Ness (Yiffed)]

I park next to an abandoned cart, take that cart, and then leave it there where I found it when I'm done shopping, preserving the fragile ecosystem exactly as I found it.

 

[Crex Crex]

"jokes on you a-logs, i was only pretending to have my various love interests get blacked by a transformers toy"

 

[Punished Neco]

“That’s not where the cart goes... That’s not where the pee goes.” - Cart Narc

[Source]

 

[Geranium]

I don't inject jam.

 

[Gentlebastard]

That’s a really short guy, dumb kid should know better than to fuck with a Napoleon. Manlet rage is nothing to look down on.

No witticisms or clever play on words, just "I hope she gets raped. lol"

hey also obviously seem to think trannies are the most impacted by this. not cancer patients or people with diabetes or whatever - no, we NEED to think about how hard it is for trannies who can't have their horse piss!

You know how they say "Would you rather have a live daughter or a dead son?"

There are times when the dead son is the preferred option.

I honestly don't know if he has a slow cooker collection or if he returns all of them, You'd have to track down one of the loremasters.

GAMP-Vision: "I have the hot nerdy gamer gf I've always wanted!"
Reality: "I'm so starved for female affection that I've gone prison gay."

I never really thought I was as naive as I clearly am, because every single day I'm learning new and horrifying things about these "people".

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go and projectile vomit.

It's like finding a used condom in your childs room and worrying about the smell. There are much worse things waiting in the wings.

Ingredients: TRANNY CUM, CHLOROFORM, CAT TESTICLE HAIR (MALE), ESTROGEN (PROD.: USSR, 1967), CARBON TETRACHLORIDE, HIV, COCAINE, AMPHETAMINE, PROGESTERONE (PROD.: 1877, OTTOMAN EMPIRE), MONKEYPOX, BIS(CHLOROMETHYL) ETHER, DISSOLVED PVC, SNEED OIL, KEFFALS ASS CRACK SWEAT, 37% FORMALDEHYDE IN METHANOL, TETRACHLOROETHYLENE, SODIUM CYANIDE, LIZ FONG-JONES' NEOVAGINA FLUIDS.

I've learned over time that behind every clever Kiwifarms meme is an ugly kernel of truth conveyed through dark humor.

You have to deal with this shit with a sense a humor or you'll just wish our planet would crash into the sun.

We laugh, because the only other option is screaming.

Not to power level too hard but one time I injected myself with bathtub estrogen I ordered from Brazil and as soon as it hit my blood stream I got really sick and then died.

 

[Idiot Asshole]

So, instead of coming up with an original idea, they're using AI to create more fat niggers. Shocking.

Every line calls my mother fat. If you were to put the color palette on a color wheel, it would become sentient and scream "RAPE!". If you describe a hate crime to a police sketch artist, he'd draw one of those characters. This artist uses perspective the same way the 9/11 terrorists used planes. The dialogue reads like the blasphemies you'd find in satan's journal. If you line a bird cage with these the bird would hang itself.

 

[Mannibal]

I just wanna Beeze for Null.

@Null has pretty privilege you wouldn't get it

Exactly what Null just said cause he is smart like me.

Oh, poor sweet child, your stretched and brutalized rectum must really hurt from the disturbingly girthy stick that has been jammed so forcefully and deeply into your lower GI tract.

EVEN THE CREATOR OF KIWIFARMS AGREES WITH ME

(Some of my quotes might have gotten messed up and shows the wrong user, but I don’t know how to fix it)

 

[chalkyresidue]

I don't poison mentally ill kids with bathtub HRT, but I do make a lot of jam.

 

[Blackhole]

"Humans don't need fiber."
*shits motor oil because your bowels have failed*