random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Return of the Freaker]

RIDDLE ME THIS, BATMAN!

I have big lips, smell like pee
and I make 13 equal 50.
I say words fast and claim I sing
while I think my ancestors were kings.

What am I?

 

[GaryGrey]

i wish instead of suddenly getting banned from major platforms, one of the jannies would step in and say, "hey narcissa, how are you doing today?"

 

[Squid Diddler]

Be calm, child, and know that my offspring will own yours as chattel property. The time is coming for the rising of the strong. They will not be raised on cocomelon and conversations with alexa. They will be trained in elevated discourse and weapons of both hand and mind. The weak will be sacrificed for the strong, and you are raising the weak. Prepare them accordingly.

 

[DumbDude42]

fuck lorde i didn't even know about gun and watch abuse until after ending H he can go suck outer god cock

 

[Open Window Maniac]

Nigga got that Taco Bell pussy.

 

[Blackhole]

I just find it hypocritical that a bunch of wizards are canceling a game about a bunch of fictitious wizards.

Null killed my family and raped my dog's dead body and called me racist, sexist, homophobic, anti-Semitic, misogynistic, and ableist slurs while I was donating charity to children with cancer!

And at the end of the day, what good are tits on a warthog?

his fake designer pussy is farting uncontrollably how is this not home page worthy?

 

[Open Window Maniac]

Landon has a Cholula pussy. A cholussy. Medium spicy.

 

[SCSI]

Does this mean I can steal my Russian coworkers car?

1. This is not a car, this is a land boat.
2. This is not stealing, this is privateering.

I read this as stealing the Russians cat and was like hell yeah, pirate that cat. But then I realized it was a car instead and was disappointed. Steal his cat anyway.

I just want to put that on my resume. "2022-2024 : Adventure and Plunder on the High Seas"

 

[trickyzerg23]

Reporterward said:
What did the Ukrainians think would happen? Oh we’ll just outlaw the Russian language and bomb Russian civilians in the breakaway Republics and Putin would just sit around holding a limp cock?

 

[DumbDude42]

In an earlier post in this thread, I mentioned that I suspected that sheep could have a form of autism.

 

[CatParty]

Candidly, I’d suspected Gabby was trans since he was about two. It wasn’t simply his affinity for shoes — we’d walk down the street and he’d point to passersby and excitedly squeal, “heels, flats, heels, flats.” Or that he was just as obsessed with princesses, dresses and my bras

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

To recap: Owls are straight, meat eating hunters of vermin who afffirm mating as one male and one female for life and also have an irrational hatred of those darker than themselves.

Rumer has it that she does the best cloacas in the business.

it'd probably violate some obscenity laws* but someone needs to get these images on billboards all over so "normies" can see what these sick freaks are doing to themselves

*on the other hand that weird tube of flesh is not and will never be a penis so bam, lawyer'd

I'll take fifty Sonichu totem poles over any Funko Pop, any day.

I know what you mean, her shape seems to have a disproportionate Tarsila do Amaral quality to it

 

[Return of the Freaker]

only a gay cruising for anus sex on the internet would accuse us of being gay

I'm wondering what are the odds on population implosion vs. those of state-sponsored rape camps.

 

[Blackhole]

WE LOVE OUR JANNIES, OUR BROOM ENFORCEMENT
DRIVING COSMO TO SUICIDE IS IMPORTANT

“Footage from Twitch headquarters shows a man in a green dress planting bombs at the entrance, followed by him seemingly walking into the explosion and glitch jumping to the second floor, bypassing the locked door.”

time to start the first official Kiwi Farms sponsored right wing death squad

 

[Return of the Freaker]

If you say niggerfaggot then you turn into a cuck. Just look what happened to iDubbz

 

[Get Fisted]

That masculine bone structure and vagina made of dong...

 

[Haffhart]

I wonder if all of these screencaps of cringe posts by Twitter users is what made the Kiwifarms Pictures Uploader just An Hero itself.

 

[Aunt Carol]

they built an exceptionally deep armpit into the crotch of a creature renowned for poor hygiene

 

[Cats]

Reroll Roz.
Oh my

 

[Pig Cups]

(can’t directly quote)