random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Meat Target]

"Nooooooooo you don't understand we neeeeeeed to commit warcrimes"

Would rather fuck that beehive above, at least it wouldn’t speak.

 

[Pee Cola]

I'm 53 and been happily married for years. I can't remember ever having a great need for lube.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

"Never pass up an opportunity to misgender the enemy"

-Sun Tzu, Art of War

it's terrifying. it's funny. that's what this site is for.

I'm not exactly a seasoned expert on running charitable ventures, but I must stress that starting a charitable venture to bank camelid plasma while also running a charitable venture to bring various supplies to the Lakota (and driving hundreds of miles to do so twice a month because you didn't plan logistics), while also running a charitable venture to provide a safe haven to trans people, while also running a charitable venture to rehome alpaca, while also running a ranch with over 200 alpaca, while also attempting to renovate a 1920s era home in order to meet ends meet, while also constantly getting sick because you're increasingly frail and injured and not taking care of yourself because you're potentially down to $7 in the bank - it's not the most sustainable plan I've ever heard of.

The battle of Hastings outcome is... got really fucking weird man. Really fucking weird.

Laughing at a tranny is always homepage worthy.

bitches love latin

I'm gonna keep my coins and patches in a cigar box under the floor boards like it's real nazi memorabilia.

Prove to the grandkids you were a fighter in the meme wars

 

[Shitty User Stole a Good Name]

who the fuck pinged me nigga

 

[CobraPlissken]

No man really wants to have to face any kind of reality where his sister's getting penetrated by some hairy guy.

Multiple 6 foot rule violations. They could've jerked off in front of each other from across the tub and it wouldn't be gay.

She really does think she is a mermaid when really she looks like a slug in a sleeping bag.

"Hey man, you got the stuff?"
"Yeah it's right here, just like you asked, some real primo shit"
"You're sure it'll grow my boyclit back into a mandong?"
"Of course man, it's the highest grade bull testosterone, made from the biggest meanest cowballs"

Maybe I'm offended that you're offended by me, is this what we call a Histrionic Mexican Standoff??

He looks like a fridge, but not like a strong fridge, more like a weak pudgy fridge filled with pudding and shame.

No waist, no thighs, chiseled jawline, horrible moobs, big feet. Like a gay pelican.

He talks a lot of shit for someone with a farty vagina.

 

[Blackhole]

They are getting Jews inside my brain. As if my mental health could get any worse.

I want the tape of Ralph fucking a nigger from behind while the nigger eats Pantsu’s pregnant pussy. Bonus points if he hoisted the gunt up on her big black ass.

oh right. the penis. the penis for women. the penis chosen specially for women. women's penis

Bimbo fetishists are weak and die in the sunlight.
You can smell them when you're driving.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

You can't even Naruto run

Yeah. We throw meth at toddlers now.

 

[like_shutup_&_drive_scoob]

Kywy Fyrms.

 

[Open Window Maniac]

He’s not a dictator, he’s a dick taster. There’s a difference.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

This is what happens when you do loads of gay milsim larping, it rots your brain.

I imagine with the stubble it’d be like getting fucked with a scrub brush.

thank god i'm not a fucking tranny

 

[Meat Target]

sorry, but lynching just ain't considered a valid kind of degenerate kink where most people live at.

 

[Cats]

Always thought it was his croak sack

 

[Open Window Maniac]

That rumor of Jamie Lee being a hermaphrodite has stuck around longer that the gerbil allegedly up Richard Gere's ass.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

who the fuck pinged me nigga

 

[Haffhart]

tfw when this shit is so autistic that even other autists are questioning what the fuck is wrong with you

 

[Meat Target]

This isn't a war anymore, it's statist football hooliganism.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

One wrong move with a dilator and he's gonna find out what a real bad time is.

To look forwards to this for so long only to wake up, remove the bandages, and find you have been given what is effectively a gaping butthole where your dick was.

... This person can poop twice as fast any of us can

He may as well incubate marsupials in there thanks to its convenient forward facing position.

Posting naked pics of fake vagina online. What could possibly go wrong?

I'd like to believe that there's a chance for redemption for everybody.

Congratulations, you’re here forever.

Hopefully they will also apologize for apologizing.

 

[Hitman One]

Someone dox this tranny faggot.

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

9gag belongs in hell for creating this affront to god.

 

[GHTD]

I'm 53 and been happily married for years. I can't remember ever having a great need for lube.